Balance
by Night's Darkness
Summary: Completely rewritten! See inside for full summary. Connor makes a different choice in 'Inside Out'. Buffy and her gang are told by a pregnant girl to go to L.A. to help Angel. Together they have to fight the apocalypse, not knowing just how big this is.
1. Escape

Ok, I was just recently re-reading my original version of Balance and I was horrified at not only the bad spelling and grammar but the inconsistencies and plot holes and plus… I was rather sick of Connor and Calista being so forgiving with each other. The way I see it (now anyway) is that they'd have been raised by a man from the 18th century, who wouldn't have a very high opinion of women, among other issues. Thus they couldn't be the ideal sort of way I had them to be. So I've rewritten a vast majority of the story and the plot has been altered a bit. You'll see what I mean as we go along. But I hope everyone who enjoyed the original enjoys this new version and I hope anyone new to the story enjoys it too.

Anyway, that's enough from me, on we go with the story!

* * *

**Balance**

**Chapter 1**

"Connor don't let her in!" pleaded Darla as she stood in the warehouse trying to save her son from Cordelia.

The woman in question was beginning to get very irritated as Connor shifted where he stood, hands clenching and unclenching, the very image of uncertainty.

"It's Angel! Trying to turn you against me with this cheap image of… Darla." Darla blinked in surprise as Connor asked, wide-eyed,

"You can see her?"

"Connor listen to me let the girl go!" insisted Darla, feeling her connection with her son wavering. She'd been so close!

"It's not her. It's not Darla, it's Angel. This is how much he hates you!" whispered Cordelia coolly. Connor screwed up his face as both women continued to speak, confusing him, clouding his mind as they tried to speak over each other. He was torn in half, what was he meant to do? Cordelia was the woman he loved (he was sure he did anyway, wasn't he?) and she was carrying his child. And he had no proof that this was his mother, even though his heart was screaming at him that it was. Even as he looked at her he saw similar features, high cheekbones, blue eyes, and just something about her that was so like something he saw in himself. The girl sobbed and pleaded with him to let her go, and he felt his heart kick him in the chest. He couldn't place it but she reminded him of someone he knew or used to anyway. And why did she have to die? It was a sin to kill. How could it bring any good? In the end he knew it couldn't. Both Holtz and Angel would have agreed about that, if nothing else.

'_Stephen!'_

That whisper in his mind instantly caught his attention, some of the fog in his mind began to clear. He recognized that voice, but from where?

'_Listen to Darla, you are too good for this, Cordelia has tricked you more than you realise! Please remember me Stephen!'_ Connor was suddenly assaulted with images, memories and feelings. He gasped in horror and he nearly fell to his knees as he realised, as he remembered. And then he felt fury rising up from the pit of his stomach. His eyes flew open and they were burning with fury as they focused on Cordelia. She shifted, the look was unnerving and almost scared her. Darla's brow creased in concern for her baby.

"You!" he shouted furiously, "You made me forget! You made me forget about her!" Cordelia was baffled by this outburst, and then she realised, her eyes widening,

"Oh crap!" she cursed and stepped back out of fear, in her present condition she would never stand a chance if Connor attacked, even with the knife in her grip. Connor, however, had other ideas. He reached down and grabbed the girl by her bonds and dragged her to her feet. Pulling her with him he glared at Cordelia who gripped the knife tighter. "Where do you think you're going?"

"I never should have trusted you." he snarled, backing away, keeping the girl behind him. "You're not Cordy. And whatever that thing is inside you, it isn't my child. It can't be."

"Don't you dare to even think of trying to run out of here!" Cordelia waved her hand and the door shut. Connor pushed against it hard but it didn't give an inch and Cordelia advanced menacingly, raising the knife, "Now bring the girl into the other room, now!"

"No!" He pushed hard on the door, when Darla suddenly appeared beside him. She reached out and touched his cheek softly and then whispered in his ear,

"You'll find all you need soon my beautiful baby boy. She'll forgive you."

"Mother." he whispered tenderly, meeting her eyes, "I'm so sorry for all I've-"

"It's not your fault. But now you've made the right choice."

"Hello!" Cordelia snapped, "I'm ordering you to do what I say Connor!"

"Ignore her." said Darla, and she reached out a porcelain hand and the door flew open, "Go! Get away now!" Connor stared at her for one last moment and then he dragged the girl out of the room and down the stairs as fast as he could. He could hear Cordelia screaming after him to come back but he ignored it and he just kept running.

'_Stephen. We'll be together soon.'_ said the soft, female voice in his mind,

'_Oh God, I'm so sorry.'_ he said remorsefully. He could almost hear her sweet smile as she said,

'_We'll talk soon. Just get the girl home.'_

'_I will. I promise.'_

Connor and the girl eventually stopped running and Connor quickly looked around as he undid the bonds that were around the girl's wrist. As they came away he saw there was a mild rope burn around them. He winced and swallowed the bile that rose in his throat as he thought about how he'd caused it.

"I'm so sorry about this, I didn't mean…" he trailed off unable to finish so he settled for looking at the girl with remorseful eyes. "Please don't tell anyone about this." he whispered gently. She nodded, her eyes wide with fright and, when he stepped back, she quickly ran off. He watched her go until she rounded a corner. He leaned back on a tree and breathed deeply trying not to cry, this was too much for him to handle. He felt so disgusting and evil. He slid down the bark to sit on the ground and buried his face in his knees. Gripping his hair tightly he willed himself not to cry but he couldn't stop the choked sobs from escaping his lips. He wanted his father! He wanted his dad!

* * *

Angel glared at Skip as the demon sneered over the red sand spell. He was still sore from the fight with the metal guy but was doing his best to hide it. Suddenly he felt a strange tug within himself. Connor's face flashed through his mind. His son was in trouble and he needed his father! Angel knew it for a fact. He shifted and met Lorne's gaze. The green man was giving him a questioning look. His empathic powers must have sensed the feeling from Angel.

"Wes? A word?" he called, beckoning him over. They walked out to the front of the hotel. "Look I gotta go."

"Go?! Where?" Wesley demanded, staring at Angel in utter shock.

"Connor. I, uh, I can sense him. I can't explain it, it's like when he was a baby, I can sense he needs me."

"Angel… you can't just leave. Skip-"

"You guys can question him, and that red sand'll hold him. Look Wes, I really have to go. I'll be as quick as I can." Wes stared at him carefully and then said reluctantly,

"Alright, but don't be long, the more muscle we have the better." Angel nodded and turned on his heels. "Exactly how will you find him now without a trail to pick up on?"

"I have no idea." Angel turned back frowning deeply. He had to go! He could sense Connor's need for him and yet he had no idea where his son was. "Wes, can you perform a locating spell?"

"I can try. I think there's one for family members to find each other."

"Good, lets do it."

Fred and Gunn were both shocked when Angel told them what he was doing and neither of them liked the idea of their best fighter being gone after the boy who'd beaten them all in order to save the enemy. Lorne and Wesley set up the spell, while Angel questioned Skip some more but the demon wasn't feeling very talkative.

"Angel-cake! We need a bit of your blood for the spell to work." Lorne called lightly. Angel held his hand out and Wesley cut across the palm and pressed it to the map of L.A. they'd spread out. "Now read this outloud." Lorne held out a sheet of paper. Angel took it with his other hand and read aloud,

"_Blood by my blood,_

_Flesh by my flesh, _

_Lead the way to the light, _

_Lead the way to the life."_ He pursed his lips and said lightly, "Catchy."

"And working." Wesley said dryly. The blood suddenly became fluid again and moved over the map, finally stopping seven streets west of the hotel. It stayed put there. "Looks like he's not moving. Think you can find him from there if he moves?"

"Hopefully I'll be able to pick up his scent." Angel grabbed his coat and shrugged it on as he walked out. "Oh and Skip." The demon looked at him. Angel smirked, "Don't go anywhere." Skip growled.

Connor was so tired as he lay on the small grass area that surrounded the tree that tried to hide all the stone and metal that made up the fabric of L.A. He stared up at the stars through the branches as they swayed in the slight pollution-laden wind. They twinkled at him cheerfully, as if they didn't have a care in the world.

'_Lucky stars.'_ he thought closing his eyes, feeling so weary that he could just sleep and never wake up.

"Connor!" He jumped as he heard his dad's voice. He looked over to meet the wary but caring eyes of his father. "Jesus Christ Connor, what's wrong?" Angel crouched beside him and rested a hand on his chest as if checking that his heart was still beating. But dad could hear his heartbeat. Connor knew that.

"You were right dad!" the exhausted boy murmured, "It's not Cordelia, the real Cordelia wouldn't have done things like that." His dad looked horrified by the defeated, tired and sad tone that was in Connor's voice. "She wouldn't have told me to get her a sacrifice or that you hated me, even if you do. She wouldn't have done that to me." Connor wasn't referring to the other things he had mentioned, but Angel couldn't have known that.

"Connor are you hurt?" asked Angel worriedly, his eyes roaming over his son for an injury. He seemed especially alarmed by the tone of voice Connor had. Defeat just wasn't something you associated with him. He would fight until the end, like his father, he wouldn't just give up. Connor shook his head

"No I don't think I am." and he closed his eyes and seemed to loose consciousness.

"Connor!" Angel cried in terror. He scooped Connor up into his strong arms, noting how the boy weighed next to nothing in his arms. He then rushed back to the hotel as fast as he could, cradling Connor all the while.

"Fred, get a cold cloth!" he ordered as he entered the hotel. Fred jumped and then obeyed, hurrying into the bathroom that was down behind the lobby. Angel laid Connor down on the couch carefully and gently brushed some of his brown hair out of his eyes. Fred rushed back into the lobby with a wet cloth and a bowl of cold water that Angel took and began to wipe Connor's face in an attempt to rouse him. It worked, Connor almost instantly woke up and he grabbed Angel's wrist his eyes wide with fear.

"Hey Connor it's ok, you're safe." Angel tried to soothe him, speaking in a soft tone of voice. Connor looked around and felt very uncomfortable that he was surrounded by his dad's friend, all of whom were regarding him with suspicion. Angel noticed and gave them all a look that said 'back off'. They quickly did so but didn't stop their accusing stares. They didn't trust Connor.

Connor looked at his father and gulped, he was afraid of the trouble he was in. In Qour-Toth punishments had been severe, he just prayed Angel would be a little less harsh. Yet at the same time he wanted to be punished for what he did, that and the fact that it would make him focus on the pain and not the thoughts that were rolling around in his head. Angel meanwhile noticed the frightened look in his eyes and reached forward to gently squeeze his son's shoulder, but then drew away as Connor flinched before he even touched him. Angel looked at him, hurt, and then stood up and walked upstairs. Now Connor felt worse, he had flinched because he expected pain, like a reflex, he hadn't meant to hurt Angel. Unfortunately the others didn't know this, and as soon as Angel was gone and out of earshot they surrounded him and glared furiously.

"What?" asked Connor tiredly

"You are so lucky I don't have a taser handy!" snarled Fred angrily, her eyes flashing dangerously. Connor flinched again he could remember that as easy as he could see her right now.

"Yeah after everything, everything you've done. You put Angel through hell and yet he still cares about you, he lets you come back here, takes care of you and you still treat him like he's a monster!" shouted Gunn. Connor bowed his head, his hair falling into his face, obscuring it. Gunn, thinking Connor was sulking roughly grabbed him by the shoulder and shook him and yelled "You are nothing but a selfish brat! Get the hell out and stay out of Angel's life, cause ever since you were born there's been nothing but trouble!" Connor's head snapped up and they were shocked to see the tears flowing down his cheeks. He pushed Gunn away and stood up, rushing towards the door, only to collide with Angel who'd come back down with a blanket for his son. Connor looked up into his father's caring eyes and broke down, burying his face into Angel's chest he sobbed, soaking Angel's shirt with tears. Angel was taken aback by this sudden show of emotion but he quickly wrapped his arms around his son and held him as he cried, murmuring softly into his hair,

"It's ok Connor, it's ok." Connor shook his head and simply cried, clinging onto his father like he was a lifeline. Angel threw a furious gaze at his friends who all looked bewildered and ashamed. "I'm here. I'm not going anywhere. I'll always be here."

* * *

"… and that's how you dust a vampire!" finished Buffy Summers as she brushed her clothes free of vampire dust. She turned to the group of awed potential slayers and the bored Spike. Suddenly the silence was broken with a light chuckle.

"Impressive moves!" They all looked to the right and saw a teenage girl standing just a little away, leaning against a tree and shrouded in shadows so they could only see her face.

"Thanks, but that was nothing I got better moves." said Buffy. That was both a comment and a threat should this girl attack. No telling what anything was these days. The girl smiled knowingly

"You are all… very strong." she said softly, cocking her head curiously to the side. "But I wonder if you are strong enough for this mission."

"What mission? We have enough on our plate we don't need anymore missions."

"But the mission I'm talking about links to your mission and Angel's mission." Buffy instantly went on high alert at the mention of her soul mate.

"Really! So peaches needs help as usual!" smirked Spike. The girl giggled quietly then became more serious, although her eyes twinkled.

"Yes but what he strives to prevent is something he cannot stop." She bit her lip as if she was unsure of her next words, "I can, but only if you all come to Los Angeles." Buffy arched an eyebrow suspiciously. She was very aware of how clever The First was and this could easily be a trick. And if it was… it wasn't a very good one.

"So let me get this straight, you have the power to stop something that Angel can't and you expect me to just up and leave Sunnydale and go to L.A." The girl shrugged casually.

"Pretty much."

"And just what do you have to do with this?" asked Spike coming to stand beside Buffy. The girl looked around, as if afraid of someone watching and then stepped out of the shadows. Their eyes were all instantly drawn to the heavily pregnant swell of her stomach. She laid a protective hand on it and gently rubbed it.

"I don't have anything to do with it but this does." she answered looking at them under lowered eyes, indicating her belly.

"We're not midwives." said Kennedy scornfully. The girl rolled her eyes and sighed. Buffy noted she was at best eighteen years old, with near waist-length curly blond hair, that was pulled back into a ponytail, blue eyes and a pretty face. Even with the large stomach she was quite attractive, something Buffy knew she would never be able to pull it off if she ever got pregnant. A large bag hung from one shoulder.

Suddenly there was a rustle of leaves and the girl whirled around, alarmed. Buffy instantly went on alert. Suddenly there was a whistling sound and then a 'thunk'. A dagger trembled where it was embedded in the trunk of the tree, right where the girl had been standing. The girl wrapped her arms around her belly and whimpered softly.

"Please help me!" she whispered sounding afraid, "The world is facing a great danger, and if it comes then not even the slayer and the champion united could stop it." She moved and was suddenly standing beside Buffy, who jumped in shock. The girl had moved far faster than any human should have been able to, especially as pregnant as she clearly was. "I'm afraid. I've been in hell and yet I'm more afraid here because there are things out there that are trying to kill my babies." Buffy stared at her and saw that there was an almost fawn like innocence within her ocean blue eyes. "Please help me." she begged. Buffy slowly reached out and pressed her hand to the bump before her. She felt a strong kick under her palm and, meeting the girl's eyes once again, found she believed her.

* * *

"So you want us to leave taking all the potentials with us to L.A. because of what a young pregnant girl told you?" asked Giles slowly and incredulously. Buffy shrugged

"I can't explain it Giles, I just can't help but trust her, she seems so…"

"Pure!" suggested Spike from where he was sitting in a chair in the dinning

"Yeah pure, but it's almost like she was tested harshly by evil, tempted, and she just flicked her hair at it and ignored it." Buffy shrugged at the confused looks she got, it was the best way she could explain it. The girl had said it herself, "She said she'd been in hell but when I looked in her eyes… I think Bambi couldn't have looked as innocent."

"Yeah, but come on B, pregnant teens have probably cried Virgin pregnancy to get help." Faith said with a raised eyebrow. Buffy looked at her sister-slayer and said,

"Go talk to her, all of you. You'll see what I mean. I know she's telling the truth… or at least she believes she's telling the truth."

"Yeah, but what if it's a demon pregnancy, and needs our help to bring about the ruination of mankind?" Xander asked, folding his arms.

"It isn't." Spike said, standing, "No demon has a heartbeat like that, and I can hear those souls just singing in my ears. Pure, the whole lot of them." Buffy nodded to him gratefully,

"Guys, if she's right then we need to get to L.A. She said Angel and we have to join forces or else we're gonna loose. Besides, it might not be a bad idea to get the Potentials away from the Hellmouth for a while." No one could deny that.

Meanwhile said pregnant girl was sitting on the couch in the sitting room, rubbing her belly fondly while Andrew, Dawn and Willow watched her openly.

"You can stare all you like I am not going to turn into a monster and try to kill you." She looked up at them and smiled warmly. They smiled back, feeling calm in her presence. It was hard to mistrust someone who had eyes that were so soft.

"So who's the father?" asked Willow. The girl frowned mildly and said,

"I'd rather not talk about him. It's not that he and I aren't still…" she sighed and rubbed her neck in a weary way, "It's very complicated." Willow pouted sympathetically,

"Complications suck." she said in true Willow fashion. The girl smiled and said,

"I would say you have no idea but from what I've heard… you would have a fair idea."

"Yeah, a fair idea." Dawn agreed with some humour in her voice. The girl shook her head and looked around the room.

"This is a lovely house!" she complimented, "Far nicer than where I grew up."

"Thanks but it's seen better days!" smiled Dawn, eyeing the broken and boarded window and sleeping bag laden floor of the sitting room. The girl nodded, then started in surprise and then relaxed with a happy smile.

"What is it?" asked Willow leaning forward. The girl just reached forward and took her hand and placed it on her belly. Willow gasped in amazement as she felt movement. "Wow strong kicks they got there." Dawn eagerly reached forward and placed her hand on the stomach and squealed excitedly as she felt the kick as well. The girl laughed in amusement.

"Hey I just realised we don't know your name." said Andrew suddenly speaking for the first time.

"Oh right, sorry, it's Calista."

"That's a pretty name."

"Thank you." Calista smiled and lowered her eyes bashfully, the praise seeming to make her shy.

"Well we've decided!" said Buffy coming in with Giles, Xander, Faith, Spike and Anya. "And we will do as you suggested and go to L.A." Calista smiled happily and heaved herself to her feet, waving away Dawn who moved to help her up. "But…" said Buffy stepping into her face, her own firm and her eyes intense, "If this is a trick of The First, then pregnant or not I will kill you, we clear?"

"Perfectly!" said Calista calmly her lips curving into a small, amused smile as if Buffy didn't scare her at all. That annoyed the slayer because she knew she could easily kill her even if she was pregnant if she had to. Calista made to turn away, then suddenly lashed out with a punch, making everyone jump even as Buffy blocked it reflexively. Calista smiled wider and said, "Nice reflexes." Then she suddenly wrenched her arm free and punched Buffy in the face and then hit her again, knocking her over. "Just so you know how I feel about my babies being threatened." she said lightly, raising her hands submissively as Spike moved to hit her. "I don't want to fight with any one. I've been fighting since I was born, even if the man who raised me used to tell me that girls weren't supposed to fight, so as far as I'm concerned, the less fighting I have to do, the better. But that doesn't mean I can't fight and defend myself. Just so we're clear."

Buffy's eyes were wide. The girl was far stronger than she looked, almost inhumanly strong. Buffy narrowed her eyes at Calista and stared at her carefully, suddenly not so sure she could trust her. "Look, as I said, I don't want to fight you. I need your help. But that doesn't mean I'm helpless. I've had demons, and evil men tracking me for months and I've survived in a world I really don't understand." Her eyes suddenly lost some of their softness and darkened, "I've been abandoned, mocked, spit at! I've been attacked, people have tried to kill me! And all because of my babies. All because of my age, all because of being pregnant." Her hands balled into fists and her cheeks coloured with bitterness she'd clearly been fighting for a long time. Then suddenly it vanished, and her eyes went soft and fawn-like again.

She looked at Giles and said, "I suggest you asked Robin Wood if you can borrow one of the school buses so there is enough room for the 30 people coming." Giles looked surprised and nodded, disappearing to make the call. She then looked back to Buffy and said quietly, lowering her eyes,

"Thank you, I am in your debt for this." Buffy stared at her, unable to figure her out. There was much more to this girl than what she had said already and Buffy wanted to find out what it was she was hiding. Calista stepped around her and announced she was going to step outside and get some air. Dawn followed her as did Spike and Faith, clearly resolved to keeping an eye on her. Buffy sighed and went to the basement where the Potentials were.

"Ok listen up, I want all of you to pack up as many weapons as possible, we are going for a road trip." she announced as she came down the steps.

"To L.A.?" asked Molly excitedly

"Yes, we have a job to do. It seems that there may be more than just The First to worry about now." There were gasps and murmurs of fear from among the girls. "We will fight it and any one else who is involved in this apocalypse, because that is what we do, we fight because we are slayers and you all have to remember that." The girls nodded and Kennedy asked

"When are we going?"

"We are going A.S.A.P… or sooner."

* * *

Like it? Hate it? Any queries or comments are welcome, review and let me know.

Night's Darkness


	2. Connecting

Ok here's the next chapter. Thanks to the-raven-angel for the lovely review. I'm glad you're enjoying this and I hope others are too. Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 2**

"How could you do that?" shouted Angel furiously at his friends all of whom were looking shamefaced. Connor had been unable to calm down and Angel had had to help him up to his room and had soothed him until he dropped off to sleep. Now he was facing his friends, blazing furious!

"Angel we were only-"

"In case you haven't noticed Connor has had his life turned upside down by that thing that's inside Cordy. She seduced him, convinced him that was his child inside her and twisted his mind so much it's no wonder he didn't know what was going on! Not to mention everything else like us thinking he's responsible for the Beast and me becoming Angelus, c'mon guys did you really expect him to just up and accept it all, he's been here for six months for god's sake! He's barely had any time to absorb the truth that contradicts everything he was raised to believe!" yelled Angel, grabbing some things that were on the reception desk and flinging them across the room in anger.

He was angry with his friends but he was angrier with himself, for ignoring his son and for being mad at Connor instead of Cordelia after they slept together. He realised that's exactly what Cordelia wanted, for Connor to be pushed away from all but her so she could use him. He suddenly felt sick with himself for what he had done. The others now had guilty faces, they had been so busy sticking by Angel that they forgot about what Connor was feeling, what he was going through.

"Hey man, look I'm sorry, I shouldn't have gotten on his back like that." apologized Gunn.

"Don't say it to me say it to him when he wakes up." They all bowed their heads in shame. "Now let's try and think of a way to save Cordelia without killing her, it should probably harder for her to move around the city now Connor isn't with her."

They quickly buried their noses in books about mystic pregnancies and anything else that may relate to what was happening. Skip sometimes made a sarcastic comment but when Angel threatened him with the Sphere of Infinite Agony he instantly shut up. As it turned out they came up with a load of nothing. The phone ringing made them all jump out of their skins. Fred answered it.

"Angel Investigations!"

"_Fred it's Willow!"_

"Willow! Hi how are you?"

"_Um…Ok, you?"_

"Uh well we're fine but there's a lot of stuff happening at the moment."

"_So we heard, listen we, that is, Buffy, me, Xander, Faith, Giles and the rest of the Scoobies and Potentials are coming to help out apparently."_

"You are? Why? Not that we don't appreciate it!" she added quickly

"_Well I can't really say much but from what we've been told your problem and our problem are linked. That's as much I really know, we should be there in about two hours."_

"Ok then but be ready for some surprises, none of them good."

"_Yeah, somehow I thought you might say that. Bye then!"_

"Bye!" Fred hung up and told the rest what Willow had said. They were intrigued by the Scoobies coming but knew that there was no point trying to find out what they were up to because they were on their way. Angel rubbed his eyes and stood up,

"I think I'll make something for Connor, he's bound to be hungry when he wakes up."

"Just make sure there's no tomatoes, he hates them." said Fred with a shy smile. Angel nodded and sauntered into the kitchen behind the lobby that had been installed last year. He made some hot coco and some mushroom soup, as well as a sandwich with ham and cheese, lightly toasted. He normally wouldn't do this but he doubted Connor had eaten well in many months, judging by how skinny he was. Besides he needed a distraction. He carried the tray carefully up the stairs and pushed the door open and peered in.

Connor was tossing and turning, clearly having a nightmare. Angel sighed, before Cordelia had her memory back, she had mentioned once that Connor rarely slept and when he did he more often than not had severe nightmares. This must be one of those times.

He set the tray down and took his son's shoulder and shook him gently calling his name. Connor jerked awake and grabbed Angel's wrist in a bruising grip, his eyes flying all around the room.

"Shh Connor, it's ok you're safe." soothed Angel. Connor met his gaze and said more to himself

"Right, safe, not here, gone, dead." He still looked afraid though.

"Do you want to talk about it?" asked Angel, Connor instantly shook his head. "Connor you don't need to bear this alone, besides I want to, I need to, know what it was like in there, what it was like for you. Connor please."

"No you don't want to know!" insisted Connor, then he asked quietly "Do you really hate me?"

"What! No of course not! What made you think that?"

"Cordelia said…"

"Don't listen to her. She was lying to make you do things she said."

"Well it worked didn't it."

"We let it work, but believe me when I say that I will never hate you and I love you. Connor can you believe me when I say it?" Connor looked at his father and seemed to deliberate whether his answer was positive or negative. Angel let him think, he hadn't expected an instant answer. Slowly Connor nodded

"I believe you dad, but how can you love me after everything I've done?"

"Connor you've made mistakes, everyone does, but it's how we handle the consequences. We both handled my… ocean trip badly, and in doing so gave the bad guys the perfect opportunity."

"Is Cordelia really evil?"

"No the real Cordy is stuck inside while something else is in control, but once she gives birth it will pass from Cordy to the child or whatever it is and Cordy will die." Angel hated being so cruel but he knew he had to be straight or else Connor might not understand. Connor looked horrified at the revelation. Angel suddenly realised what he was thinking and quickly tried to quell his fears

"Connor this was all done in such a complicated way, there's no way you are a demon or that you will have demon children. You are a human through and through."

"With super abilities and healing like a vampire!" put in Connor sullenly as if it was a bad thing. Angel knew Connor hated having demons for parents; it made him feel like a monster.

"Well even if you don't like it, if you didn't have it you probably wouldn't be here right now." Connor looked up at him again and his eyes told Angel that he was scared of the thought, of death.

"I never liked hearing fa-" he sighed and shook his head, "Holtz," he amended, "talk about death, it was unnerving because it's the unknown and I never knew if I would see them again."

"Them?" asked Angel in confusion, he knew for a fact that it was only Holtz and Connor in Qour-Toth. Connor suddenly looked extremely uncomfortable and sighed again,

"_Him_ again, I still don't." he added sadly. Angel didn't exactly know what to say, what was there to say

"Here I brought you some food, better not let it get cold." he said finally picking up the tray and giving it to Connor. He was disappointed when Connor went green at the sight of it. "Can't I ever do anything right in your eyes?" he asked tiredly. Connor didn't answer and Angel found himself getting angrier with his son, "What is it? Is it me, is it because of what I am, a vampire? Is that why you never give me a chance? Well excuse me for being able to accept what I am for now! I can't help that I'm a vampire!"

"Dad stop!" shouted Connor and Angel froze realising his voice had gone from irritated to furiously loud. He then noticed that Connor's voice had been thick with emotion and tears. He sat down beside his son and apologized.

"It's just-"

"It's hard for you to know that Cordelia a woman you care about is possessed with something evil and is apparently carrying your son's child." Connor offered sharply, looking away. Angel nodded

"Yeah I guess that's it." Connor began to pick at the sandwich, then he murmured

"I'm not really hungry, I just can't look at food with out feeling sick, I could probably bring up every meal I've ever had right about now."

"That bad uh?"

"Well she lied, tricked, and used me. That seems to be all anyone wants to do with me." Connor's voice was sad, resigned. Angel reached out and squeezed his shoulder.

"No, look I know things haven't been easy for you, well, actually I don't, but I can guess, anyway I just want you to know that, well, I'm here, if you need me."

"I know and I know I will need you soon enough, something big is about to happen, I can feel it! But I need to know I have you and the others by my side. Can you promise me that dad?" he looked Angel in the eye.

"Honestly I can say I will be by your side and I know that despite the fact that they find it hard to trust you right now they love as much as I do, so they probably will stand by you." Connor nodded seriously and rewarded his dad with a small smile

"Maybe I can try the coco, but don't expect much." He picked up the mug and began to sip at it. "Mmm good! Especially considering you have no real sense of taste." Angel grinned happily, ruffled Connor's hair good naturedly and said

"When you feel up to it come downstairs, we unfortunately need you to tell us where Cordelia is and what she is up to, plus I would like to know how you came back, cause I have no doubt she would have stopped you with magic." Connor nodded but didn't say anything. Angel left the tray there in case Connor got hungry.

"Angel is everything ok? We heard shouting." said Fred, looking worried

"Yeah I just lost the plot a little, but it's fine now. Connor said something that I should tell you. He said that soon he'll need us all by his side, I already promised him I would but he needs you guys as well, can you stand by him?" The four shared a look, true they did care about Connor but he didn't seem to care about them. Still he had tried to do what was right at the time, just he had either been told the wrong thing was right or had been confused.

"Ok Angel we'll be there if he needs us." said Fred finally

"As long as he stays out of trouble." added Gunn with a slight smirk

"Can't exactly promise that seeing as it seems to run in the family." Connor said coming down with the tray that was devoid of all food.

"I thought you said you weren't hungry!" teased Angel, smiling.

"True but then I remembered I haven't eaten during the whole apocalypse, literally so I decided I may as well eat."

"You really haven't eaten since this whole thing started?" asked Fred whose appetite was huge for her size. Connor shook his head

"Survival came before food in Qour-Toth and it's a habit I never got a chance to break really." he answered casually and walked into the kitchen. He came back and asked Fred if there was anything for a headache. Fred said to check the second cabinet from the door. He nodded and went back in, they heard him opening and closing the door and then after a few moments he came back in rubbing his forehead.

"You ok kid?" asked Gunn, hands stuffed sheepishly in his pockets.

"Yeah just feel like I fell a hundred stories, hit my head and then got rammed by a truck."

"Did you get the registration?" chuckled Lorne, Connor looked bewildered, "Ok what did you two teach him in the three months Angel was gone because you don't seem to have taught him a thing!" the green demon exclaimed to Fred and Gunn who shook their heads in amusement.

"He is standing right here!" grumbled Connor good-naturedly. Then and only then did he notice Skip. "Who's that?" he asked

"Oh that's just Skip, he's got info on Cordelia, like what's happening to her and all that." said Angel glaring at the metal demon.

"Oh! Ok." shrugged Connor flopping onto the couch, feeling exhausted.

"Connor how did you realise what was happening, like what made you leave Cordelia?" asked Fred. Connor looked at her and said

"My mother told me."

"Darla?" asked Angel in surprise, a softness in his voice.

"Yeah apparently the powers sent her with a message for me."

"Really!" asked Angel a little doubtfully. Connor chuckled quietly and shook his head

"You don't believe me yet you can't deny stranger things have happened, such as two vampires having a child." He looked at his father with an amused face. Angel half shrugged, half nodded

"I guess, but how did you get away?"

"Mum helped me. She used some magic against Cordelia's spells and gave me enough time to escape."

"Right good, now where is she?"

"Last time I saw her she was in a package plant, but she may have moved. I can go track her whenever you're ready." Connor sat up to prove his point. Angel shook his head.

"Not yet the Scoobies are on their way."

"The who?"

"Sorry, you wouldn't get that would you, but they are the slayer and her friends."

"Faith's coming?" asked Connor perking up at the mention of the dark haired slayer.

"Yes but there's also Buffy the other slayer."

"Two slayers? I thought there was only one."

"Usually yes but let's just say that the Sunnydale group have a knack for the impossible."

"Sounds familiar."

"Yeah I guess it is like us."

"So two slayers and their friends are coming here, when?"

"They should be here in an hour."

"Cool so until then what do we do?"

"We rest! Take this opportunity to recover some of our strength."

"I feel like I could sleep for a week!" declared Gunn yawning.

"I hear ya!" sighed Fred resting her head on her folded arms that were resting on the reception table.

"We should rest but stay down here so when the Scoobies arrive they don't find an empty lobby." suggested Wesley, sitting down on the pouf chair and leaning his head against the top of it. Connor frowned,

"Did they say if there was anyone else with them, aside from their team?"

"No. Why?"

"I was just… wondering." Connor fell quiet and Angel placed his hand on his shoulder questioningly. He smiled reassuringly at his father, "I'm ok."

"You sure?"

"Yeah. Don't worry about me."

"I'm your dad. I'm meant to worry about you."

"Then it's a good thing you don't age, or I'd have given you a lot of grey hair by now."

"Yeah. Good thing."

* * *

Reviews are always very much appreciated!

Night's Darkness


	3. Bittersweet

Wow! Two chapters at once! I'm on a roll. *does a happy dance* Don't expect this regularity of updating, it will not be common I'm afraid. Seriously, 8 stories on the go at once, plus school, sleeping, eating… so yeah, not going to be great with the updating. However I will do my best! :)

* * *

**Chapter 3**

"Are you sure you know where you're going?" whinged Dawn from behind Spike who was driving the school bus, whose windows had been painted black to keep the vampire from becoming extra crispy with a side order of dust.

"For the last time yes!" he exclaimed in frustration "Now, leave me alone, can't you read the sign?" He gestured to the sign above his head that said 'Don't talk to the driver'. Dawn sighed and stood up and walked down the aisle of the bus and sat beside Willow and listened to the conversation about the strange girl who had caused this migration from Sunnydale to L.A.

"Maybe she's an angel!" suggested Andrew dreamily.

"An angel?" asked Buffy incredulously raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah she's as pretty as one."

"Well you gotta agree with him on that." said Willow smirking in amusement

"Thanks, but I'm not an angel!" smiled Calista not looking away from the window, watching the scenery pass by through a small patch of unpainted glass. Her hands were rested on her stomach and Dawn took this chance to note the fact that her clothes were pretty worn and dirty, like they were second hand. The top strained against her belly and her bust and the skirt was cutting into her skin as there was a small amount of exposed skin that was marked with a red line. Her hair was being held back by a piece of leather. Yet she had that glow people always said mothers-to-be had and her face was fairly pretty. High cheek bones, red lips, a neat nose, and very pretty eyes.

"Well what are you because I can tell you're not human?" asked Spike not taking his eyes off the road. Calista flinched from his comment,

"I don't know what I am, what we are, I don't even know my parents names." she murmured sadly. Spike seemed to realise he had upset her and said

"Well I know you're better than a human, I can feel it in my shiny new soul." She smiled gratefully and sighed tiredly,

"How much longer?" Spike growled in frustration, making Buffy giggle.

"So boy or girl?" asked Faith

"I don't know."

"What would you call it if it was a boy?"

"I'm not sure, I really haven't had much of a chance to think about that." Buffy noticed while she seemed knowledgeable in the world, with herself she was vague and uncertain. Strange.

"Is the father in L.A.?" asked Anya

"Yes, he's been staying there, but I had to leave."

"Why?" She winced and shook her head,

"It's a long and depressing story. I'd rather not talk about it at the moment."

"Well if he decides to run off on you, I can have him punished for it. I used to be a vengeance demon!" Anya said with a broad smile. Calista cocked her head to the side,

"He won't. I've known him too long."

"Lucky you." said Buffy, feeling strangely jealous. Calista looked at her and smiled gently then turned back and shifted rubbing her tummy, whispering

"Stop moving!"

"Calista?" asked Dawn concerned. Calista blushed and looked down,

"Sorry but there isn't a lot of room in there and the movement feels very strange and a little uncomfortable." She seemed embarrassed and looked away from them, almost ashamed.

"So what is happening in L.A.?" asked Willow, "When I was there a few days ago everything seemed to be getting better."

"You were in L.A.?" asked Buffy accusingly

"Yes, but the only reason I didn't tell you was because I knew you would panic and do something dumb, when all they needed was for me to find Angel's soul that was missing in a jar and free it and restore it." said Willow as quickly as she could as if getting it all out at once would make it easier.

"He lost his soul? How- how did they do that?"

"They got a shaman to come in and remove it with a spell!" said Calista calmly. Needless to say Buffy was freaked out by that info. "Now Cordelia has been revealed as the Beast's master and is pregnant with something evil."

"Cordelia? As in Cordelia Chase? The head cheerleader, Queen C Cordelia?"

"Yes, when Angel's friend Doyle died he passed on his visions to Cordelia and then when the visions were killing her she allowed herself to be made part demon. She then became a higher power and ascended to a higher plain, only to return without her memory, then a spell used to restore her memory woke up the evil inside her and it has been working from the inside killing people and causing trouble." No one said a word only stared at her in complete shock. She shifted and said, rather darkly,

"The thing inside her seduced the father of my children. She used him to become pregnant."

"Oh man. Calista." Dawn touched her arm in sympathy. Calista looked at them and smiled tightly,

"It's alright, it's not his fault, she tricked him and besides, it's not really his child growing within her. It's a vessel for the evil within Cordelia. Not human." She then stood up and walked, or more waddled, down the aisle to sit behind Spike

"You're William the Bloody aren't you?" Spike smirked to himself

"So that name still carries does it?" She smiled slightly as if amused.

"A little, you never got along with Angelus did you?"

"Nope I never liked peaches. Never will neither."

"Well I'm sure you two will amuse us as long as you both fight clean."

"Hey we are not for your entertainment!" exclaimed Spike, insulted

"Well maybe not intentionally…" she said deliberately not finishing her sentence. Spike fumed and said

"For your information I already promised Buffy I wouldn't argue with Captain Forehead so you'll have to look for entertainment elsewhere!"

"I bet you won't be able to last ten minutes!" she said then heaved herself up and walked back down winking at Buffy, who grinned back. Damn that girl was clever, play on Spike's pride, and he'll make sure he'll prove you wrong. If Calista's idea worked they wouldn't have to deal with Angel and Spike arguing all the time and the two might actually get along.

'_Yeah that'll happen when hell freezes over and The First starts handing out ice pops!'_ she thought to herself tiredly

* * *

Connor had been pacing impatiently for about ten minutes now, the other five were watching him like he was a tennis ball being hit back and forth.

"Kiddo, if you don't stop we're gonna end up with a hole that goes all the way to hell in the hotel, and that doesn't attract customers!" said Lorne shaking his head, he was getting dizzy from watching Connor's movements. About half an hour ago the kid had gotten very impatient, he began to fidget, then he started to move from chair to chair as if each wasn't comfy enough, then he began to openly pace around the lobby. He stopped now and looked at the ground as if trying to see what Lorne was talking about, then started again.

"Connor!" called Angel slowly almost cautiously as if Connor might bolt if he was too loud or something. His son looked at him, "Is there something bothering you?" dumb question but it worked. Connor shook his head but didn't answer. He sighed and sat on the steps, his back to the door. He rested his head in his hands.

"How much longer?" he whined

"They should be here any moment, why?"

"Because I want to get the whole Cordelia thing explained as quickly as possible!" Angel winced; he had forgotten that this would be really awkward for Connor since he was the one who had inadvertently gotten Cordy pregnant. _'Oh boy this will be uncomfortable!'_

The thought had barely registered in his head when he saw someone who made his soul sing. A petite blond woman, one who was stronger than any other woman he had ever met, Buffy Summers! She was here, at last! And any confusion he had had about his feelings for Cordelia disappeared out the window. She was followed by her dearest friends, and really Angel's first friends since he had reclaimed his soul, Willow, Xander, and Giles. Then there was Dawn, god she had grown, Faith, Anya, a black man that Angel didn't recognize and Spike? What was he doing here? Behind Spike was a group of girls, they must be the potential slayers. Buffy opened the door, causing the rest to look at the door.

"Buffy!" said Wesley happily

Buffy stared at him in shock,

"Oh my God, tell me that is not Wesley Wyndam-Price?" she asked with a laugh. Wesley went a little red, and smiled as he came up to her and shook her hand warmly, "But still with the British manners." she commented wryly

"Of course not, can't have the British being seen as nothing more than rude inconsiderate Americans!" retorted Wesley with his accent in full strength. Buffy laughed lightly and then turned to Fred who instantly began to babble.

"Hi, I'm Fred! So, you're Buffy Summers? Wow it's so cool to finally meet you I mean I've heard so much about you, from Angel and Wesley and Cordy!"

"And Willow has been singing your praises since she came back from L.A. Seems you can actually keep up with her techno-babble." smiled Buffy.

"Pryce? My god you look tested!" said Giles shaking Wesley's hand

"In more ways then one my friend." said Wesley wearily. As the two ex-watchers got reacquainted Buffy's eyes fell on Angel and her heart stopped for one second and then started to hum.

"Angel…" she murmured, her smile softening as she stepped to meet him.

"Buffy!" he whispered back with irrepressible delight. The electricity between them was broken by Dawn waving at Angel and saying

"Angel great to see you again!"

Angel looked at her and said, "Dawn, god you've grown so much, becoming such a beautiful young woman!"

Dawn smiled warmly, blushing, "Thanks, you look as good as always!"

Angel grinned.

"Angel, always a pleasure!" said Willow

"Willow, great to see you again and always will be."

"Hey Angel, still keeping L.A. Beast free?" greeted Faith nodding her head. Angel nodded back

"How you feeling?"

"Pretty good, slayer healing is a great plus!"

"Angel is this the Slayer gang?" asked Gunn.

"Well once upon a time that name would have been inaccurate, seeing as we only had one slayer. Now we have them at a 2 for 1 rate." said Xander with a grin, looking around as he waited for someone to say something but when Gunn just gave him a strange look he said, "Hey, I'm Xander Harris!" and held out his hand, Gunn shook it

"Charles Gunn! And this is Fred Burkle, Angel and Cordy mentioned you."

"Really did they mention my handiness in battle, my woman skills and my sharp wit?"

"No they said you babbled and did dumb things in a fight." Xander shot a glare at Angel who just smirked at Wesley who chuckled back.

"About Cordelia-" began Buffy

"She's evil!"

"We know!"

"How?" asked Angel, surprised.

"We have a source who knows a huge amount!"

"And who would that be?" At that moment Calista stepped out of the throng of girls and walked down the steps slowly, looking around, seemingly nervous. Angel's eyes bugged out when he noticed her stomach, as did the others and they tensed up. Buffy looked at Angel questioningly and when Calista had her back to them Angel extended his arm in front of his stomach and pointed at the teen girl. Buffy rolled her eyes and shrugged 'so'. Angel mouthed

"Cordelia is…" and he nodded to the girl.

"You do realise it's quite rude to whisper or mouth!" said Calista turning to look at Angel, stepping closer. As she did Angel felt a strange tug pull him towards this girl and he couldn't help but feel warmth as he looked at her.

"Calista?" called a voice softly over the silence, sounding awed. Connor stepped out of the shadows, where he'd hidden, causing the Scoobies, who hadn't noticed him, to jump. She looked at him and her eyes lit up,

"Stephen!" Angel snapped back to attention at the mention of Connor's old name. Connor suddenly rushed to her and threw his arms around her, hugging her close to him. She hugged him back after a slight hesitation, a small smile on her face as she rested her head on his shoulder. Connor eventually pulled away from her and he looked her over, clearly at a loss for words. Finally he said,

"I'm…" She pressed her fingers to his lips and said,

"We can talk about that later. I know what you want to say."

"You always could read my mind, although apparently that's become more literal." Connor raised his eyebrows questioningly. She shrugged,

"Desperate times." she said, "Daniel would not have approved at all."

"I'll bet." A shudder seemed to pass through the both of them and they let each other go. Calista lowered her eyes and wrapped her arms around her stomach as if to hide it. Connor stuffed his hands in his pockets and looked at the ground. Angel wanted to speak but he found that his voice would not work. "You know that he…"

"Yeah. I figured it out after a while. I still can't believe it. I mean I know he was… but I never thought…" she shook her head, looking away. Connor's eyes were very sad. "And then… all of this…" she waved her hand around, "And these…" she touched her stomach, "It's all so hard to get my head around."

"Connor!" Angel interrupted, finding his voice at last, "Who is this and what is going on?" Connor opened his mouth but Calista got there first,

"My name is Calista and I'm Stephen's… mate." Angel's eyes went huge and then he looked at her belly, "And this is his doing, yes." Connor winced and Calista looked pained.

"But how, I mean Connor's only been here six months?" asked Fred, confused. Angel was glad someone was asking the right questions. Calista looked at Connor sharply and asked

"You didn't tell them?"

"When did I have the chance exactly?" answered Connor defensively, "Come on Calista, I only just remembered you existed, let alone about the baby, I'm struggling to get my own head around it, let alone explaining it to my dad!"

"Your _dad_?" Calista demanded in a heated tone, "Now he's your father? What about Daniel? What about me? Did you just decide to cut us out of your life?"

"No! I didn't deliberately forget about you!"

"You certainly made it easy!" she snapped, turning away. Connor grabbed her arm and turned her around,

"Cal, come on, do you really think I did it deliberately?" She shoved his arm off and folded her arms across her chest.

"I don't know who or what to believe in anymore." she said softly, but her eyes were piercing Connor's. Angel meanwhile was trying to get his head around all of this. Life officially did not make sense anymore!

"What is going on?" asked Gunn, frustrated.

"Maybe we should sort out the rooms for our friends and then discuss it as I have a feeling this is a long story." said Wesley quickly.

"Right there are over a hundred rooms in this hotel so take your pick!" said Fred smiling at the potentials. They beamed at the prospect of actually sleeping in a proper bed! They followed Fred upstairs and Angel then said to the Scoobies who had remained

"What the hell is Spike doing here?" Spike opened his mouth to retort but then he looked at the smirking Calista and said with forced calmness

"I'm here, _Angel_, to help, since I got meself a pretty little soul!" Angel felt his jaw drop. Spike? A soul?

"What did you say?"

"I said I got me a shiny new soul!" yelled Spike cupping his hands around his mouth.

"How? Did Willow curse you?" asked Angel as loudly

"Nope I went through some trials endured a load of pain and had a soul at the end!" shouted Spike

"You guys aren't on opposite sides of a football pitch!" said Buffy, "Although that might be the only distance that you two could be at with out arguing." she muttered to herself.

"Oh right!" muttered Angel quieting. There was an awkward silence broken by the strange black man, who said to Angel

"Sorry I didn't catch your name, Angel was it?" Angel shook his hand and said

"Yeah, I'm Angel and this is my crew. And you are?"

"Robin Wood, principal of Sunnydale high school."

"Oh so they finally rebuilt that place." commented Angel

"Yeah, word is you had a hand in blowing it up, as a principal I should be disapproving but honestly I think what you did was really cool!" smiled Robin. Angel chuckled and nodded in thanks for the compliment. Suddenly Anya said

"Why is there a horned green demon from Pylea here?" Lorne looked surprised at how she knew where he was from.

"Don't worry Anya, Lorne's a good guy." said Willow smiling at the empathic.

"Like Clem?" asked Buffy her brow wrinkling

"Yeah but Lorne's braver. Plus his singing is amazing!"

"You sing?"

"Well not to toot my own horn," chuckled Lorne, "But I could knock your socks off with my Motown! But my real gift is reading people when they sing. I can see their future, tell if they're good or bad, whether they are lying or not, among other things."

"And yet you didn't see that Cordelia was evil?"

"Uh well when I read her I saw something really bad was gonna happen but at the time I didn't realise what it meant. Then I had the information literally sucked out of my coconut and let me tell you I have never had such a bad hangover before!"

"You had your brain sucked out?" asked Buffy wide-eyed and nose wrinkled in distaste.

"Yeah, but please don't ask!" said Lorne rubbing his forehead.

"So this thing is inside Cordelia, now Calista said she was pregnant, and that the father of her babies was the father of Cordelia's… whatever's in there?" asked Willow putting on her thoughtful face, which she had perfected over the years. Connor flushed and looked down. Calista winced. "So… that's you?" the redhead asked, pointing at Connor, who nodded shamefaced. "Ok then."

"And you are…?" Xander prompted, looking Connor over.

"My name is Connor." Calista's eyes narrowed to slits and she turned away from him and walked over to Dawn who touched her arm comfortingly. Connor looked even more upset but then he drew himself up and said, "I'm Angel's son."

"You're what!" shouted the Scoobies, save Willow and Buffy who already knew that.

"How?" asked Giles

"When!" asked Xander

"Who?" asked Spike,

"Would you like to know where and what?" asked Connor sarcastically. They looked from him to Angel and back again.

"I can see what. 'S a bloody boy!" said Spike his eyes wide.

"When did this happen?" asked Giles

"About a year ago now."

"Well don't you think he's a bit too old looking for a one year old?" said Anya

"Well there's this whole thing with me growing up in a hell dimension for seventeen years." said Connor casually,

"Hell dimension?" asked Buffy, her eyes wide. She'd known about Connor, Angel had written to her and told her about his son when he was born, but she had no idea Connor was now a teenager.

"Quor-Toth." said Calista, sitting on the steps, "The darkest of the dark realms. Evil, suffering, cruelty, and all that stuff." Her eyes flew over them before she said, "Although I'm sure you've a good idea about that stuff as this reality isn't overly different."

"Have you been to Quor-Toth?" Fred asked, her brow creased in confusion.

"Been there? I grew up there!"

"Calista was a baby when Holtz found her, just a little while after he was brought to Quor-Toth by God. He thought she was human, abandoned for some reason, and so he took her in and raised her with me." Connor explained softly, never taking his eyes off her. Calista's eyes darkened, and she was about to say something but Angel got there first,

"Connor, Holtz… did he tell you God sent him and you to Quor-Toth?" Connor nodded,

"He said it was part of God's plan for me."

"Connor…" Angel couldn't believe Connor still believed that, but, now that he thought about it, they'd never really talked about how Connor had come to be in Quor-Toth. "Connor, he was lying. A demon called Sahjan, who wanted you dead, opened the portal and Holtz, who was working with him, ran through it, stealing you from me." Connor's eyes were wide and he shook his head.

"That's not true!"

"Connor-"

"No! You're lying! Calista!" Connor looked at her desperately. She looked away, a torn expression on her face, then she looked back.

"Stephen… I don't know anymore." She ran a hand over her face, "I've no idea about him anymore. He wasn't my father, he was yours, that's all I know for certain."

"But you know he'd never work with a demon!"

"I find it hard to believe, I'll admit that." Angel walked over to Connor and put his hands on Connor's bony shoulders, making his son look at him.

"Connor, I should have told you the truth from the beginning, maybe if I had a lot of things wouldn't be happening."

"And I think that's our queue to leave, so shall we discuss sleeping arrangements on the way to said sleeping arrangements?" asked Xander in an overly cheerful voice.

"Yeah, good idea, come on ladies and gents, follow me, as quickly as possible!" Lorne practically ran up the stairs as fast as his green legs would carry him and the Scoobies followed him eagerly, with Wesley and Gunn right behind them. Only Calista remained.

Angel didn't let go of Connor as he spoke,

"Connor, when you were a baby, there was a prophecy about you. When Wesley translated it, it read 'The Father will kill The Son'. It said that I was going to kill you." Connor's eyes widened and he tried to pull away, but Angel held tight. "It was a lie! A plant. But Wes didn't know that at the time and he panicked. He took you to save you from me." It killed Angel to speak so fairly of Wesley, since he was still sore over the occurrence, but he knew Connor trusted Wesley the most of all of his father's friends. "But Justine came and slit his throat, leaving him to die. She took you from him and brought you to Holtz."

Connor swallowed hard and bit his lip. "I caught up with Holtz, but Wolfram and Hart wanted you as well, and the three of us faced off. Holtz threatened to kill you if we tried to take you. Sahjan showed up and opened the portal, threatening to suck all of us into Quor-Toth if Holtz didn't kill you. Instead, Holtz ran into the portal. I tried to follow but the portal closed so I couldn't. I lost you that night." Connor was shaking and Angel had to tighten his grip to keep him standing. Calista stood up and walked over. Her eyes were soft as she reached out and stroked Connor's cheek. Connor leaned into the touch and then suddenly he grabbed her and pulled her close, burying his face in her shoulder. She held him tightly, tears in her eyes.

She stroked the back of his head soothingly and held him tight.

"Oh Stephen."

"Calista, I'm so sorry! I'm sorry for everything." She bit her lip and nodded,

"I know. I know." Angel shifted and then said awkwardly,

"Look why don't you two go upstairs for a little while. Talk, sort things out I guess." Connor pulled away from Calista and wiped his face.

"Ok. Dad…"

"I know. It's gonna take time." Connor nodded, "I've got time. Plenty of time." He smiled shakily and took Calista's hand. He led her upstairs and into his bedroom.

"You can leave your bag here if you like." She set the bag down and looked around the room. Connor shifted and sat on the bed, staring at her entranced. "I can't believe you're here. I mean… I kept you a secret for so long and then…"

"Yeah. I can't really believe it either." She slipped her shoes off and walked, barefoot, over to him. Her belly was level with his head and he smiled as he stroked it. "Can you hear them? Our babies?"

"Them?" Connor looked up in shock and then it melted into a smile, "Yes, I can hear them. I can't believe I didn't notice before."

"Well I couldn't believe it when the scan showed me two heads."

"Scan?" She went and retrieved her bag and pulled something out.

"Here." She handed small photographs to him. He frowned as he stared at them.

"What are these?" She sat beside him and pointed at the front one,

"There's the head, and there's the other one." Connor grinned,

"I see it! Hey, one's upside down."

"I don't think they know one way from the other. By now, hopefully, they've turned so they're both upside down."

"Is that a good thing?"

"It makes for a safer and easier birth."

"Oh." He lay the scans down on the bed and turned to face her. She smiled at him slightly. He reached out and cupped her face in his hands, "Calista…" he didn't know what to say, what was there to say? Finally he settled for kissing her on the mouth. She stiffened but he continued to taste her lips. She was as soft as he remembered. He pulled away and reached behind her, pulling at the leather strip, he freed her hair. It framed her face, the curls soft against her creamy skin, like a halo. Running his fingers through them, he studied her face carefully. She lowered her eyes and looked at the ground. "Hey. Look at me." he tilted her chin up to meet his eyes. "I know this might not sound right, after all… I only did just remember you, but I love you."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"How do you know what you feel for me is love? You've never been in love before me, and how can you be-" He silenced her with a deep kiss that left her breathless.

"Because I just know." he said, pressing a hand to her stomach. "Calista, I do love you. Do you love me?" She sighed softly and looked him in the eyes.

"I was sure I did, but ever since I found out about you and Cordelia, about how you forgot me… how can I still love you after that?" Connor bit his lip and looked down. "I know it wasn't your fault, I know that she made you forget, but you were attracted to her before she made you forget me. You kissed her before you forgot." Calista sighed and stood up, "I just… I need time to figure out how I feel. I still have feelings for you, but it's all so jumbled and confusing… it's too soon." Connor nodded in understanding. Then suddenly he looked up and asked,

"How do you know so much about what's happened even though you weren't here?" She flushed and shifted, but before she could answer, there was a knock on the door and Lorne popped his head into the room.

"Hey kiddies, you two may want to come down here and give us a little info, if you wouldn't mind."

"We're coming." Calista said with a nod to the green demon and then she looked at Connor, silently promising his questions would be answered. He nodded and stood up, holding out his hand for her. She took it and he led her back to the lobby, Lorne just ahead of them.

The lobby held the Scoobies and Angel's team all conversing softly with each other. As Connor and Calista walked down the stairs they fell quiet. The Scoobies were eyeing Connor with some suspicion, and Connor didn't blame them. The facts as they were, did not put him in a very good light.

"So…" Angel said, "Where do we start?"

"Well how about what you are Calista?" Buffy said, looking at the pregnant blond. "You're not human, but you're not a demon either." Calista sighed heavily and pursed her lips.

"Well we aren't very sure what I am. I mean, I look human, I have a soul. But I'm also faster than a human, stronger, and I can follow scents. I've got the same abilities as Steph-" she winced, "Connor. But that would mean I'm another Child of Two Vampires, which doesn't seem possible, does it?" Skip squeaked before he could stop himself. They all looked at him.

"What? Can't a guy clear his throat without everyone looking?" the demon's red eyes shifted nervously. Angel's eyes narrowed,

"You got something to say Skip? Say it."

"I don't have anything to say." Skip said

"You were all chat a little while ago. Why the sudden silence?" asked Wesley, stepping closer.

"Hey I got nothing to say to you, now… lay off." Connor's eyes narrowed and he shared a look with Calista. They both walked over to Skip and began to circle him like predators,

"Nothing to say?"

"Seems to me you're just dying to say something but haven't got the guts." Skip stared at the both of them and rolled his eyes,

"Am I supposed to be intimidated by you two?"

"Oh I don't know. Are you?" Connor gave a feral grin and Calista smirked. "I wasn't called the Destroyer in Quor-Toth for nothing."

"No, not for nothing. In fact, I seem to remember some of the things you used to do to some demons. How long could you make them suffer until they died?"

"Oh a day or so." Skip began to shift in anxiousness. "Now, Skip, why don't you tell us what you have to say. Then maybe you won't suffer as much."

"If he doesn't talk we'll whip up a Sphere of Infinite Agony on him." said Fred, holding the book in her arms. The two teens grinned,

"Now that sounds like something to see." Calista said cruelly, "Why not give a little demonstration?"

"Ok! Ok!" Skip exclaimed as Fred looked down to read the spell, "Alright already!" The metal demon looked at Calista carefully and said, "If you are a Child of Two Vampires, then you have the power to stop the Master."

"And I do have that power." Calista smirked,

"Yeah, and how do you know that?"

"Because I was told so by a seer." Skip snorted,

"Oh yeah, 3 dollars a palm reading, real reliable."

"This was a blind seer, her eyes had been gouged out. She came to me and showed me everything that was happening, The First Evil, Cordelia, Connor, everything. The seer told me I had to get Buffy and Angel together, that I had to do it before I gave birth. Does any of this sound familiar?" Skip shifted and then snapped his mouth shut. "Ok, have it your way demon." She turned away and nodded at Fred. Fred bent over the book again.

"Alright! Look, I don't know much. All I do know is you're supposed to have some kind of power within you. I don't know how, or why, or what you need to do to unlock it but you can only use it while you're pregnant." Calista stared at him carefully, her arms around her stomach.

"Ok. I think he's told us all he knows. Shall we kill him?"

"Hey! I told you all I know!"

"And now we don't need you anymore, so we should kill you. You're just a demon."

"Hey! Now while I'm all for good and hold the evil, I still take offence to being lobbed in with him. I'm a demon too!" Lorne said indignantly. Connor sighed,

"Lorne, just let it go. At least we aren't calling you filthy demon."

"Besides we're not gonna kill Skip just yet. We might find he suddenly remembers something else." Angel said. "Now if you don't mind, I'd like you to sing for Lorne." This was directed to Calista who went very stiff.

"Why?" Connor demanded, "I don't see the need."

"Lorne might be able to help us figure out what to do to release this power she's supposed to have." Angel lied smoothly, he didn't want Connor to know that Angel had had a hard time believing this girl's story. It was just a little too neat.

"Alright." Calista said, fixing her gaze on Lorne. "What do you want me to sing?"

"Anything you want buttercup." Calista swallowed nervously and looked at Connor for reassurance. Then she began to sing softly,

"_Can you feel it crush you, does it seem to bring the worst of you out, there's no running away from these things that hold you down. Do they complicate you, because they make you feel like this? Of all the colours you shine, this is surely not your best…"_ She fell quiet and Lorne was still for a few moments. Then he suddenly moved forward and hugged her tightly, rocking her in his arms.

"You poor little thing." he sighed. Calista looked alarmed.

"Lorne?" asked Angel, wary of the demon's odd behaviour.

"Sorry Angel-cakes but the sweetie's aura was screaming for a hug!" Lorne explained hugging a near terrified Calista even tighter.

"Um as much as I love affection I kinda need to breath!" she gasped out, Lorne quickly let go and said

"Sorry sweet-pea, like I said you needed a hug." She nodded slowly and said

"Right." and then quickly hurried over to Connor as if afraid someone else might try to hug her like Lorne did. It was clear she was no more comfortable about demons than Connor was. Connor put his arm around her shoulders and held her close. She rested her head on his shoulder tiredly.

"So she's on our side?" Gunn asked warily. Lorne nodded,

"Yes indeedy brown bear. The things I got off her were pretty intense, some of which wasn't pleasant, but she's good." Calista smirked slightly in a manner that was very similar to Connor's and she pulled her hair back, retying it with the piece of leather. "But, uh, seriously sweetheart you should have come back to L.A. ages ago." She frowned,

"Why?"

"Well… would have been a hell of a lot safer." Lorne said, "I mean, what I got off you, man oh man, all that evil chasing you down, trying to kill you-"

"I can handle myself!" she snapped, her eyes flashing.

"Wait, what?" Connor demanded. "What are you talking about?"

"It doesn't matter Stephen!" she said, pulling away from him. "It's done. I'm here. Now why don't we try and get something done to stop this apocalypse?"

"Now that I can agree with wholeheartedly!" Xander said, rubbing his hands together.

"Right. Ok. How trained are the Potentials?"

"They could do with being better." Buffy admitted,

"Well L.A. is still a war zone out there, demons are running the place. We could train them in the day and then go out at night to see how they handle themselves." Angel suggested, his hands in his pockets.

"Sounds good."

"What about the rest of us, those who bruise easily?" Andrew asked, bouncing on the balls of his feet. Buffy eyed him with distaste,

"Why did we bring you with us?"

"Because you wanted me to do the cooking." said Andrew, staring at his shoes.

"Then go. Cook something." Buffy waved her hands at him irritably. Andrew hung his head and Angel pointed him to the kitchen. "And Willow, Xander, Giles, Fred, Wes, Anya, Dawn. Can you guys see what you can look up on the First Evil and on this thing that's got Cordy."

"And what about me?" Calista demanded, "You'll have Steph- Connor!- helping with the training, but what'll I do? Sit in a corner and practise breathing exercises?" Buffy looked at her and saw that her face was flushed pink and her hands were clenched into fists.

"Well… you could help Willow and the others do research." Calista bit her lip and looked down. "What?"

"I'm not very good at reading." she admitted, her cheeks hot with humiliation. "Daniel didn't think that a girl needed to learn much by way of reading or writing." Connor clenched his fists. "Didn't think a girl should do much of anything besides obeying men." she muttered softly.

Connor swallowed hard and looked at her with regret. He felt hatred rise up in him towards Daniel, he'd always hated the way he'd push Calista away when he was teaching Stephen how to read and write. He remembered well how she'd cry at night when she thought both males were asleep. Connor had tried to help her and yet he knew he could have done more. But he took everything his father had said as true, so he'd believed girls (Calista at least) weren't meant to do things like fight or read and write. It was only when he couldn't take anymore of her crying and pleading that he'd begged Daniel to at least teach her the basics. Guilt ridden he looked away when her eyes flicked to his. God why didn't she hate him?

Angel looked between the two teens and could almost see all the tension and bitterness and other issues between them. He silently wished he could get his hands on Holtz and kill the man slowly. Still he knew it wouldn't help anyone. And he knew there was nothing he could do to help the two, they'd need to work it out between them.

"Well, you could always come and help with the training, I'm sure you've got skill."

"I'm not St-Connor." she admitted, then drew herself up, "But I can fight." After a pause she shrugged, "Kind of anyway."

"You shouldn't have to." Connor muttered softly, but Angel, Buffy, Spike and Calista all heard him. She gave him a sharp look and Connor looked away again.

"Look, it's late. Why don't we call it a night? Recharge our batteries." Buffy suggested, looking tired herself.

"Yeah, good idea. We're all exhausted, we need to…" Angel trailed off as Calista turned around and stalked up the stairs, Connor following her. "Recharge." he finished softly. "Ok, I never thought I'd quote Cordy but… tell me we don't live in a soap opera." No one answered him.

* * *

Review! Review! Review! Thanks!

Night's Darkness


	4. Kiss and Don't Tell

Here we go, yet another chapter! Thanks to the people who've reviewed and Aaron, I'm glad you prefer this version to the other. I hope to improve the fic overall so comparative feedback is greatly appreciated.

Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 4**

"Cal! Calista slow down."

"Why, your super speed not enough to keep up?" she sneered. Frustrated Connor grabbed her upper arm and turned her around to face him.

"If you're not going to give me a chance, how am I supposed to make things right."

"Oh I don't know Stephen, be creative." She pulled on her arm but Connor held tight and she couldn't break free. Her eyes, like an ocean he noticed, flashed dangerously. "Let me go."

"No." Connor shook his head. "I won't let you go." Suddenly he dragged her along into his room and shut the door. Then he made her face him again. She slapped him across the face. He grabbed her hand and pulled her arms behind her, bringing their faces mere inches from each other. Her eyes were wide and a little frightened as she stared at him. Then she lowered her eyes and relaxed, marginally, in his grip. He let her go and held her face in his hands gently, brushing the pad of his thumb over her lips, that felt soft and delicate under the roughened skin.

Slowly she met his eyes again and he kissed her very carefully, barely pressing his lips to hers before pulling away. His eyes didn't leave hers as he did this, watching for a reaction. When she didn't pull away, he kissed her more fully, but still made sure to be careful, knowing well he'd scare her off if he wasn't. She kissed him back nervously this time, like it was her first kiss, and he let her do what she wanted; pull away or continue. She pulled away and then pulled free of his light grip. Walking away she stared out at the sky, just visible in the small space.

"Do you remember our first kiss?" she asked quietly. Connor nodded,

"I do." Yes. He could remember.

_(Flashback)_

Stephen couldn't sleep. He felt edgy in a way he couldn't explain, like he had an itch he didn't know how to scratch. He rolled around on the animal blanket, frustrated. Suddenly he heard a very soft moan.

Calista, on the other side of the cave, was having a nightmare it seemed. She was writhing on the blanket, gripping the animal skin and tossing her head around. Another moan escaped her lips as she struggled with her seeming invisible attacker. Stephen stood up and walked silently over to her. Crouching beside her he watched her for a moment before glancing at his father. Daniel was sleeping soundly, undisturbed by the soft noises.

Calista tossed her head back again and Stephen reached out to touch her throat, the whiteness of it catching his eyes in a way he couldn't understand. His itch became worse as he stroked her neck lightly. Her eyelids fluttered and he quickly covered her mouth to keep her quiet as she woke up. Her eyes shot open in alarm and he straddled her stomach so their noses were almost touching.

"Shh… don't wake father." he whispered, not taking his eyes off hers. She nodded and he pulled his hand away, letting his fingers trace her skin briefly before moving them away. "You were having a nightmare." he said. She frowned as if she couldn't recall what he was talking about, then she blushed. Confused Stephen frowned, "What was it about?" She shook her head,

"It's gone now, I can't remember." Yet her cheeks were still red. The two fifteen year olds stared at each other carefully. Stephen was very aware of the heat coming from her body beneath his. She seemed aware of his weight on her. "Why are you on top of me?" she asked at last. He didn't answer, only reached out a hand and touched her cheek. "What are-" he clapped the hand over her mouth again, silencing her. She frowned in confusion again. With his free hand he touched her face, exploring the contours of it. He traced the outline of her ear, then moved down to her throat. She shivered under him and tried to move, but his knees held her arms down and his weight kept her mostly still. Her eyes were wide and anxious but he ignored them, as his hand travelled over her collarbone, which was just covered by her animal skin top. Her skin felt very soft and delicate, and it smelled warm and delicious. He wondered what she was like under the top, if she was as soft there.

Calista whimpered softly and he looked at her face. Her eyes were shut tight and he noticed she was shaking.

"Don't be scared Cal, it's only me." he whispered, confused as to why she was acting like this. "It's alright, I won't hurt you." She opened her eyes, which were shiny with tears. "Why are you crying? I'm not trying to hurt you. You know that." His hand didn't move from her mouth and so she couldn't answer. He leaned closer again and removed his hand slowly from her lips. She let out a soft cry, and he caught her mouth with his, pressing his lips to hers, and then exploring her mouth carefully. She whimpered again but he felt her respond to him, kissing him back. His hands found her hair and it was as soft as her skin. He lowered himself, so he was lying on top of her, kissing her hungrily. The itch was being soothed as her hands slowly moved over his back, her fingers working through his hair.

Eventually he pulled away for air and stared down at her. Her hair was now loose, the curls/ringlets surrounding her face, her lips were swollen and her cheeks were flushed. Her eyes were open wide as she stared at him in shock. He was pleased to note that the tears he'd seen earlier were gone.

"Stephen…" she whispered, "You shouldn't do that."

"Why not?" he asked, "It's nice." She bit her red lip and said,

"Yes but… if Daniel sees us… he'll beat us both." Stephen's eyes widened and he looked at Daniel who was still sound asleep.

"He's still asleep." he said hurriedly, leaning down to kiss her again. She pressed her hands against his shoulders even as he managed to press his lips to hers.

"Stephen…" she groaned,

"You don't like it?" he asked, fingertips stroking her neck.

"I… no, I do. But not with Daniel over there. Stephen he'll never forgive me if he catches us."

"What are you talking about?" he tried to kiss her again but she was able to hold him off.

"He just… please Stephen go back to bed." She pushed him harder and he climbed off her. His brow furrowed he went back to his own blanket. She rolled over so her back was to him and she curled up. He stared at her until eventually he dozed off.

_(End Flashback)_

"Do you regret it? Did I… did I scare you into kissing me back?" Connor really didn't want to know but he had to ask. Calista turned to him,

"No. Well… at first I was a little scared, but I liked it. Look, you may have been… more forward than me, more eager, but if I had ever really put up a fight I know you would have stopped." Her eyes didn't quite meet his as she said this.

"I never wanted to hurt you." he whispered. She walked over to him and touched his arm, smiling faintly,

"I know. Above all else, _that_ I've known through everything." She sat on the bed, looking up at him. "I've been thinking about it all… and I know that some of the time, you weren't trying to scare me, but because it was just you and just me… we kind of muddled through growing up. I think it was inevitable that we would end up… even if it was just because our bodies were out of control."

"But?"

"But, because we grew up… caring about each other, we had emotions, feelings, between us. We were always close friends, and I think that it's given us more than if we'd just been having sex, you know?"

"Not really." She shook her head and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

"I'm not really making sense am I?"

"Not really." he admitted, sitting beside her.

"Sorry. It, it makes sense in my head, but I can't put it into words."

"I'm sure we'll both feel more clear headed after we get some sleep." Connor looked at the bed carefully. "Uh… I could go find another room to sleep in."

"Why, this is your room?"

"Yeah, but this bed is made up. You should have a proper bed."

"So should you." she argued stubbornly, then bit her lip. "Well… maybe we could share. I mean… we've already slept together, why not lie by each other. No harm in it." Connor looked at her and nodded after looking at her carefully. He didn't want to see any kind of anxiousness that would suggest she was afraid of him. Thankfully there wasn't.

"Ok. Do you have a night dress or something like that?"

"No. I, I didn't have much by way of money for anything, even food. Everything was charity given, even the prenatal tests."

"The what?"

"The examinations for pregnancy."

"Oh. Well… maybe tomorrow we can go to a store and find some clothes for you. You ought to have some."

"It's safe?"

"During the day it's not too bad. We'll go out early, probably with a few of the others, we'll probably need to stock up on food with so many staying. Anyway, I think I've got a shirt that you could sleep in, extra warmth, you know."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, sure." He stood up and pulled open the drawer, finding a clean shirt in it. He held it out to her and she took it. Fingering the material she smiled,

"It's soft."

"Yeah, comfy." He nodded. She let it tumbled down, unfolding it to reveal that it was a football shirt. "Gunn got it for me during those first three months, but he got it in like extra large. I got lost in it, but-"

"It'll fit the pregnant girl." she finished with a half smile. "Thanks."

"I didn't mean-"

"Relax Steph-" she grimaced, "I guess I'd better get used to calling you Connor." Connor nodded, his arms folded tight over his chest,

"Yeah. I kinda like it."

"Stephen, Destroyer, Connor." she mused, "One boy, three people." Connor shrugged, "I always thought there was a difference between Stephen and the Destroyer. The Destroy was something I was afraid of. Stephen I cared about and grew up with. Maybe Connor could be the man I fall in love with." He smiled slightly.

"I hope you do." he said honestly. She smiled, but it was slightly strained. He backed away slightly and quickly pulled his shoes and socks off. Then his shirt and jeans. He glanced at Calista who flushed and looked away. The shirtsleeves were past her elbows and the front strained against her stomach. The end of the shirt just covered her to half-way down her thighs. Connor gulped. She turned away and got into the bed, lying down on her side. As Connor watched, he could almost see a slight sagging to the side of her stomach. He lay down and covered them both with the quilt. They stared at each other carefully before Calista closed her eyes and he could tell she'd fallen into an exhausted sleep. He pressed his lips together and gently stroked her cheek. Then he lay his head down and closed his eyes, drifting off to sleep.

* * *

_(Quor-Toth)_

Calista stared into the fire, the flames forming patterns, but she wasn't really seeing them. Smoke suddenly filled her nose and she blinked. The meat was burning!

"Oh no!" she reached out and pulled it away frantically. The dark brown flesh plopped onto the stone and lay there. Her stomach churned and she clapped a hand over her mouth, bolting outside. She retched near the mouth of the caved, heaving violently.

"Calista?" Looking up Calista met Stephen's worried eyes. Wiping her mouth she gave him a strained smile.

"I'm alright." she said, standing up. Daniel eyed her suspiciously from behind Stephen. Calista blushed and lowered her eyes. This wasn't the first time she'd been sick in the last little while, but she didn't know why it was happening. Daniel seemed to be hosting an idea, but he hadn't voiced it to her yet.

Truthfully Calista avoided talking to Daniel, he always spoke down to her, made her feel like she was in the way. Stephen could be nicer when he was in a good mood and he didn't say nasty things about her for being a girl like Daniel could. "I don't understand why I keep getting sick, I feel fine afterwards."

"It is a mystery." Daniel murmured darkly, "Aren't you supposed to be cooking the dinner?" Calista gasped in horror and ran back inside, where the meat lay on the rock, looking slightly charred. She picked it up and bit her lip in worry as she realised it was going cold. Daniel only ate the meat when it was warm. He always got angry when she messed it up.

Stephen crouched beside her and eyed the meat with distaste, and he gave her an accusing glare. She lowered her eyes again. Daniel grumbled and then spat,

"Stupid girl." before taking the meat and eating it, cutting a piece off and giving it to Stephen, who ate it grudgingly. Calista sighed and picked up a leftover kidney, the least tasty of the organs, which were all disgusting compared to the flesh of the demon. The kidney was cooked by the side of the fire, being turned when it was needed. Finally she ate it, wincing as it burned her mouth. Neither Stephen or Daniel spoke to her and she didn't want to be talked to. Her stomach was churning again, but she was fighting not to be sick again.

Daniel watched her with a worrying intensity and she shifted uncomfortably, smiling faintly at him in the hope he would stop. Instead he asked her,

"How many times are you sick a day?" Surprised, she fidgeted with her fingers.

"Once or twice a day, sometimes more, some of the food isn't sitting well in my stomach lately. I'm sure it's just a passing thing."

"Hm. Aren't you due soon?" Stephen coughed and blushed, looking away from her. She lowered her head and said awkwardly,

"The blood is due soon yes." Why was he asking her that?

Daniel said no more for the rest of the night, but he never stopped watching her. When the elderly man was asleep on his side of the cave, close to the fire (his bones felt the cold these days) Stephen crawled over to her and slipped a hand under her top as he kissed her.

Calista's eyes flew opened and he shushed her, pulling her to her feet and out of the cave. When they were a little way away he pushed her against the wall and devoured her mouth, pinning her against the wall. Calista gripped his shoulders, pulling him closer, silently wanting him to nip her neck the way she liked it.

Her blue eyes flickered around, keeping an eye out for anyone, especially Daniel, terrified they'd be caught. Stephen never seemed to care, but he wasn't the one who'd been raised to believe that being a spoiled virgin outside marriage made you a whore and worthless person.

As Stephen's ministrations began to drawn her attention more and more she closed her eyes, leaning her head back. He nipped her neck, making her shiver, and then pulled at her skirt.

His weight rested completely on her as he caught his breath afterwards, his face buried in her neck. Calista felt shaky, tired and, above all, dirty, as she always felt afterwards. She couldn't say no to Stephen, it wasn't her place, and she couldn't ignore the way her body craved him, but she hated that she gave into its evil desires, especially since Stephen wasn't her husband. A tear or two of shame escaped her eyes, rolling down her cheeks and joining Stephen's sweat on his shirt. But she said nothing.

A few days later she was concerned. Daniel's question weighed in her mind as she realised that her bleeding was late. Daniel had never really told her much about it, except that it proved how unclean women were and there was only one reason in a young woman that it wouldn't come. Pregnancy.

Calista knew how a life was created, and had always wondered why creating a life was considered such a sin, but it was bad enough within marriage, as then a man had a right to expect his wife to lie with him. Outside of marriage was unforgivable. And if she was… Daniel might kill her, or banish her. Either way he would be furious. A soft sob escaped her as she realised what could happen to her. She pressed her hands to her lower abdomen and wondered if there really was a life within. A person, alive, growing inside her. It was an idea she couldn't comprehend.

Daniel didn't say anything for another two days, and by then it was clear this month's bleeding wasn't coming, and when he did it was direct.

"Calista. Have you committed a sin?" Shaking she looked up at him, "Have you committed the sin of the flesh outside of marriage? HAVE YOU?" Calista looked down and nodded, unable to look at Stephen, knowing that betrayal would be on his face. "And do you now carry a bastard child inside you?" She swallowed, certain she was going to be sick, and nodded again.

There was silence.

Then Calista cried out as Daniel hit her with a stick he sometimes used on Stephen and she fell to the ground, too shocked to do anything else. Daniel began to beat her with the stick, making her cry out in pain again and again. The stick hit her back and her legs, her head and her arms, drawing blood. She pleaded with him to stop. Daniel ignored her.

He kicked her so that she uncurled, and he began to kick her in the lower stomach. Now she wailed in fear for her child. Only then did Stephen move and pull him away with a plea of

"Father!" Daniel pulled away and demanded,

"Are you the creature that lay with the slut and seeded in her a bastard?" Stephen stared at him in fear and then said quietly,

"I am." Daniel struck him too.

"I warned you son. I warned you of the evil temptations of women, I warned you not to give into her."

"I-" Stephen glanced at Calista who stared at him pleadingly, lifting her upper body onto her bleeding arms. He lowered his head, "I'm sorry father. I did try." A strangled sob escaped Calista's lips. "I'm sorry." Stephen's eyes met hers and she looked away, pressing the back of her hand to her lips. Daniel stared at him then he said bitterly,

"Well it's done now." The old man, seeming to have regained some of his old vigour, strode over to Calista and grabbed her by the hair. As pain shot through her scalp she whimpered, pressing her hands to her stomach. "By the two demonic children comes forth yet another damned creature." Calista met his dark eyes and said in a choked voice,

"I'm sorry."

"Humph!" Daniel grunted. He pulled his arm suddenly, dragging her out of the cave by the hair.

"Father what are you doing?" Stephen cried, following. Daniel threw Calista down. Her hands scrapped across the jagged rock and the skin cut open. "Please Father don't hurt her."

"I will not have a whore living within any dwelling I rest in." Daniel glared contemptuously down at her. "You will sleep out here from now on."

"Daniel please. I'm sorry." Calista grabbed at his legs, wrapping her arms around them, bowing her head. "Please forgive me Daniel, I beg you. I'm sorry." Daniel kicked her away.

"Do not touch me."

"Father please." Stephen pleaded, "Let me bear some responsibility for this. It's not all Calista's fault."

'_It's not my fault at all.'_ she screamed mentally, but she didn't dare say anything. Stephen grasped at loose straws as he tried to calm the situation.

"Let Calista become my wife. We can marry, and then our child will not be a bastard." Calista's head shot up in shock. Daniel hesitated. His eyes were dark as he considered the idea. Finally he grabbed Calista's arm and dragged her to her feet. Then he threw her at Stephen who caught her in his arms. Calista stayed still, her heart was pounding and her mind was in a whirl.

"Very well. You two will be married as soon as we find a way out of this dimension. Stephen she's your responsibility now. I am done with her." Daniel spat at her and then strode into the cave, leaving the two teenagers alone.

Calista shakily pulled away from Stephen and stared at him. Stephen looked away eventually,

"I couldn't tell him the truth Calista, you know that."

"To lie is a sin. You can just add it to the list we're forming now." she said darkly,

"Don't talk to me like that." he said sharply, "I could have said nothing. Instead I made it better." Calista had a million things she wanted to say to him about that but she bit her tongue and lowered her head. Her hands were shaking, her arms were bloody. They would heal quickly though, a testament to the evil blood in her veins. Calista wondered if she'd ever do anything right or good.

* * *

Let me know what you think!

Night's Darkness


	5. Attack on all fronts

Hope you like this chapter, and don't kill me for the cliffhanger pwease!

Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 5**

Gunn was heading to his room, rubbing his face tiredly, when he nearly crashed into Fred outside the door. Only then did he remember that they shared the room now. Judging by the look on her face she remembered as she stared at him. They eyed each other uncomfortably; they hadn't really spoken since Gunn and Wesley had fought and Gunn had accidentally hit her.

"Oh, Charles, um hi." she said nervously.

"Hey." he returned quietly, shifting from foot to foot. Oh well there was no avoiding it now. "Um Fred? Can we talk?"

"Sure." she said opening the door and stepping inside. Gunn followed and quietly shut the door, then turned to her. Fred was nervous, he could tell because she was fidgeting with her fingers.

"Ok, let me start by saying I'm really sorry for hitting you, I didn't mean to, but then again I shouldn't have been fighting with Wes in the first place." She nodded in acknowledgement. They stood in uncomfortable silence then Gunn said desperately "C'mon Fred, say something, anything, I need to know what's gonna happen between us. Are we over? Do we still have a chance? What?"

"I don't know Charles, I mean, things are just so messed up." she said sadly, her Texas accent becoming stronger as she got worked up. "I mean why? Why did you kill him? I was the one he hurt, I wanted to do it, and you-"

"Did what I couldn't let you do." cut in Gunn, "Fred, I couldn't let you become a murderer, it's not who you are."

"It's not who you are either Charles!" she said angrily, "It's your hands his blood is on! It should have been mine. You had no right to interfere!"

"Just like you had no right making out with Wes!" retorted Gunn bitterly.

"You don't own me!" she snapped, enraged by his sexist words, "I can do what I like!"

"I don't want to own you, but I can't help but feel like that when I walk in on my supposed girlfriend and ex-friend making out!"

"It just happened Gunn, like that!" she snapped her fingers sharply. "And if you want to know, I pushed him away!" Gunn sighed softly, and murmured,

"Look at us. We're yelling at each other. Look Fred all I want is a straight answer. Are we over or not? It comes down to your choice and whatever you decide… I'll go with it." Fred swallowed as tears welled up in her eyes. Now that the whole thing was laid out in front of her she knew what she had to do. She came closer and put her hand on his chest, and said

"I'm sorry Charles, but I just can't-" she sighed, "It's over." Gunn swallowed hard and nodded. She hugged him and said in his ear softly, "Please say we can be friends."

"Forever." He promised, hugging her back, even as his chest tightened and his heart seemed to break into pieces.

* * *

'Cordelia' strode around the bare dilapidated room, clenching and unclenching her fists. That stupid little slut had broken her spell over Connor.

The Master in control of Cordelia had not spent so much time leading Connor along so he would be vulnerable to her to have the girl break her spell.

It had been so simple really. Connor had been sleeping during the day so he would be fresh for a hunt that night. 'Cordelia', having already stolen the spell requirements from the hotel, slowly approached him, with the brew of sheep's blood and herbs.

A quick immobilising spell was used to keep Connor still and asleep while she worked. 'Cordelia' carefully drew a dark symbol with the blood on his brow with her thumb and she began to whisper the incantation.

"_Remember the past but forget_

_Forget thy deep desire,_

_Forget thy flesh that grows within her_

_Forget her touch, her scent, her taste,_

_Forget her_

_Reject her body and her soul_

_Care not if she calls your name_

_Submit to me_

_Become my dark servant_

_Desire my touch_

_Submit to me." _

Connor's body jerked but the spell held him down, so it looked like he was fighting restraints, the blood vanished as it soaked into his skin, taking hold of his mind. He cried out softly and Cordelia saw the transparent image of a pretty blonde girl lying atop him, her long hair falling about her bare shoulders as she cried out his name in ecstasy. Then she was ripped from him by invisible arms and she cried out in terror for him as blood fell from her breast like she'd been stabbed in the heart. Connor cried out again, her name falling from his lips, and then he was still again. 'Cordelia' sat beside him on the bed and touched his shoulder, putting on a concerned face as she shook him awake.

* * *

The moment Connor's eyes had opened and met hers she had known he was her puppet to do with what she wished. And now he was gone when she really needed him!

"Stupid slut." she growled, thinking about Calista. She'd seen the girl before she'd pulled Cordelia back down to the lower plain of this world, and had hated how she was so plain and weak yet Connor, who she'd already decided would be her servant and mate, was so entranced by her. Thankfully Holtz had gotten rid of her for the Master. "Now she's back and I have to get rid of her before she unlocks that power within her. Damn those interfering Powers that Be. Now they decide to take a hand in things."

'Cordelia' rubbed her large belly and pondered what to do about Calista. Suddenly she looked down at her stomach and grinned cruelly. Yes, that would do quite nicely. Let the brat suffer the agony before both she and her children were killed by her own power.

'Cordelia' quickly began to set up the spell she was about to cast humming to herself as she imagined Calista screaming in agony as she was torn apart.

* * *

Connor refused to let Calista out of his sight as they went through the abandoned maternity shop. He claimed it was so he could protect her but really he was afraid that if he looked away she'd vanish on him. She didn't mind his watchfulness; it was nice to let her guard down somewhat.

"Ok. What do we need?" Anya asked Willow, who had her nose in a maternity book they'd found in the hotel, no doubt from when Connor had been a baby.

"Well… apparently there's special underwear you can get that help support all the new… weight." Willow said embarrassedly as she gestured at her own torso. Calista flushed and looked down at her body. Her bust was swelled to massive proportions, dwarfed only by her stomach. Extra weight indeed. "So why don't we uh, look for some of that first." Calista nodded, feeling thoroughly ashamed of her pregnancy. There was a kick from the babies and she felt worse. It was a constant battle, shame and pride, regret and love, going on within her body.

She kept her head down as Willow and Anya ruffled through maternity underwear and then bickered over sizes. She only looked up when they held out a few things for her to try on. She obeyed them, walking into the changing room and changing. She finally found a size that fitted her comfortably after struggling with ones that were too small and watching the too big ones practically fall off her. She changed back into her own clothes, avoiding looking at her own reflection. She just couldn't stand her own appearance. She held out the underwear that fitted her, wordless. Willow noted the size and they kept a hold of them as they looked through the clothes, and Willow, putting her hand on Calista's shoulder, asked

"What would you like to try on?" Calista looked at her shyly and said,

"I don't mind, whatever I'm allowed to have." she spoke softly, as was proper of her. She winced to think about how she'd been behaving so badly over the last short while. So outspoken and forward. So unlike a proper woman. Willow squeezed her shoulder and said,

"Well you have a large choice of whatever's here, although practical stuff is probably best."

"Well which is that?" She looked around at the large shop, at a loss among so much material.

"Well jeans are probably good to move around in and that's important in our line of work. And they are comfy, which is also important." Anya pulled the item off a rack and held it out. "And a t-shirt or blouse or jumper." These were also retrieved and given to the teen who accepted them, enjoying the softness of the shirts. "Give me your shoes, how well do they fit you? Too big? Too small?"

"A bit small." she admitted softly, taking them off and handing them to the redhead.

"Ok then I'll see what I can find in a good pair of shoes."

"Thank you." Calista whispered, suddenly feeling very light-headed. She teetered for a moment and then a hand gripped her elbow. She looked up into Step- Connor's worried face and she looked away. She felt so pathetic and small looking at him, even though there was no malice in his gaze. He let her go and looked away as well. She turned away from him and walked back into the dressing room. As she undressed and pulled on all the new clothes her mind wandered to another city… a city where she'd been forced to face the harshness of this dimension.

_(Flashback) _

She walked down the street, the baggy hoodie she wore (found in a charity box) hiding her figure, so for once there were no stares. She looked around, wary of demons that prowled the streets, especially now that the sun was down.

"Not lost are you?" asked a man, stopping beside her and smiling in a friendly way. She looked at him and then lowered her eyes.

"No sir, I'm just… walking."

"Would you mind some company?" he asked sliding a little closer to her. The hair on the back of her neck stood on end. She shook her head,

"No thank you sir." His smile turned leering,

"Aw, come on. I'll make it worth your while." Confused she looked up and saw the lust in his eyes. Cold, hungry lust.

"No thank you." she said as firmly as she could and she continued to walk, not daring to look back. Her sharp ears picked up his footsteps following her. She picked up the pace, but she didn't dare move at the rapid, demonic speed she could, not if she could avoid it. She was afraid of what would happen if she used those evil abilities.

Suddenly the man's arms wrapped around her, one hand going over her mouth and pulling her into an alley. She struggled hard but she was shaking, terrified. She knew what he wanted from her and it made her feel faint. He pressed her against the wall of the alley and shoved one hand up her top, groping at her. She shrieked and he covered her mouth again. His hand touched her belly and he paused, lifting her top up to see her five-month swell.

"Well look what we got here." he chuckled, rubbing it roughly. "I hope your kid doesn't mind me poking around." Her eyes snapped open and she shoved him hard. He flew back and his head cracked against the wall. He fell to the ground dead. Trembling Calista ran as fast as she could, not caring that she was using her evil abilities. She just had to get away. Suddenly she felt a strong clench inside her and nearly fell over. She grabbed the wall and clung to it, crying.

'_Stephen? Stephen where are you?'_ she wailed, curling up around her babies. _'I'm scared. Why aren't you here?'_ No one answered her and no one came to help her. She was alone.

_(End Flashback) _

"Calista. Calista! Look at me." Stephen's voice broken through her memories and pulled her back to the present. Opening her eyes she saw Stephen looking at her with worry, his bright blue eyes shining with near tears. She realised she was curled up in the corner of the dressing room, her fingers clutching at her hair. Stephen was crouched before her, his hands on her shoulders. "Cal. What happened?" She looked over his head at Willow and Anya who were regarding her with worry. Her face crumpled and she began to cry. Stephen wrapped his arms around her and held her to his chest. She hid her face and clutched at his shirt. He stroked her hair and his lips pressed to the top of her head. "Shh… it's ok. I'm here." he whispered.

"But you weren't when I needed you." she said spitefully, pushing him away. "I needed you and you were off dreaming about Cordelia!" The name was spat out like a curse. Stephen looked down in shame. "Oh stop it Stephen! I don't want to see you doing that." she growled. "I refuse to believe you're ashamed of it. You regret it but you aren't ashamed of it." His eyes narrowed as they met hers.

"What do you know!?" he snarled, standing up. She glared up at him, wishing she could stand up without a struggle. "You've no idea of what's happened to me!"

"And you don't care what I've been through because of you and Daniel!"

"Don't you talk about him!"

"Why not? He was a monster, I see that now! He hated me; the only reason he kept me around was so you could have a friend."

"That's not true."

"Wake up Stephen. Why did he treat me the way he did if he didn't hate me? He knew how this time works, how women are supposed to be equal to men. Yet he still treated me like I was a nothing." Stephen slapped her across the face and she tasted blood.

"If you were nothing he'd have left you out there to die. You owe him your life."

"And he stole yours." Calista said, her head still turned to the side, the way it had snapped when he'd struck her face. She refused to look at him. Stephen stared down at her, she could feel his eyes on her, and then he stormed away. Willow and Anya rushed forward and crouched down beside her. Willow gently turned Calista's face to reveal a bruised cheek and blood in the corner of her mouth. The redhead's face tightened and Anya looked murderous.

"I'm going to go and give that boy what for." the ex-vengeance demon said, straightening up.

"No. Don't." Calista said, shaking her head. "It won't help."

"He can't go around hitting people like that, especially a pregnant woman."

"It's not easy for him to be around me." she said, lowering her eyes, even as she touched her cheek. "I'm not making it easy by loosing my temper."

"You're allowed to loose your temper Calista." Willow said, resting her hand on her knee. "It's ok to-"

"No. No it isn't. A proper woman doesn't speak back to a man. She stays quiet and keeps her opinions to herself." Calista carefully got to her feet and straightened up. "She keeps going about her work, no matter what." Willow and Anya wore shocked looks on their faces as they stared at the teenager. Calista wiped her mouth, tucked some flyaway hair out of the way, and then gave them a small smile. "I think these fit ok." She ran her hands over the clothes she was wearing. She had to admit she felt much more comfortable, and secure in clothes designed for a person with her condition. The jeans were designed so her stomach was well supported. "So… will this be all?"

"No. Let's get a few pairs and some other clothes for you. You stay here and we'll see what we can find."

"Alright." she nodded, and the two women drew the curtain across, shielding her from Stephen's glare.

She drew in a deep breath and looked at her own reflection. She saw a blond haired girl, with a tired, drawn face and a bloated stomach. She reached a hand out and the girl matched her. Their fingers met at the touch of the glass. She couldn't believe this was what she looked like, that this was her. Growing up in a place where there were no mirrors or any other thing that could reflect, she'd never known what she looked like, save that her skin was pale, her hair blond and her eyes blue, and she only knew that last fact from when Daniel had taught Stephen, and by extension her, the names of colours. When Daniel had said that the two children had the same eye colour, Calista had believed that they were exactly the same bright, icy blue. It was easy to understand why she was startled to find out that her eyes were actually much darker, like deep water.

Calista winced as there was another kick and it hurt. The force behind the kick was much more than she'd expected when she first felt the babies moving inside her. Then again, they were Stephen's so it was to be expected. Calista closed her eyes and rested her brow on the glass of the mirror. This was so hard. It was so hard to keep herself under control, when all she wanted to do was breakdown and scream.

"Ok, we got some nice skirts, dresses and tops here, Calista?" Calista's eyes flew open and she whirled around to find Anya staring at her questioningly. Clothes hung from her arms. Calista smiled, trying her best to make it genuine.

"Thank you Anya. They look lovely." She took the clothes from her and drew the curtain over again. She pulled on the new clothes and examined their fit as best she could. But considering how she'd never been shopping in her life she wasn't sure what she was supposed to do. "How does this seem?" she asked Anya and Willow, drawing aside the curtain and smoothing down the simple kimono sleeved wrap dress they'd found. Under it she wore the jeans, not comfortable enough to not have her legs covered.

"Looks good." Willow smiled, three pairs of jeans in her arms. Calista suddenly blushed,

"I'm sorry, I should be helping you instead of just standing here letting you get things for me."

"No, it's fine. You're in good hands. We know clothes." Anya assured her, "You on the other hand grew up wearing animal skins, so of course you wouldn't know much about clothes." Calista's face dropped a little and she nodded,

"Yes, that is true." Anya nodded in agreement then said quickly,

"Oh but it's not your fault you grew up there."

"Mmm." was all Calista said, turning back to the mirror. Her hands smoothed over her hips and her stomach, willing it to decrease in size, wishing it wasn't so obvious. She turned away from the mirror sharply, unable to look at herself anymore. "I think that's enough, we should get back." She spoke hurriedly, needing to get away from the shop.

"Yeah. You're right. Ok, I'll just… find a bag for all of this stuff. We'll assume they fit, since they're all the same brand and size. Try these shoes on." Simple white crochet pumps that fit like gloves on her feet. She wiggled her toes inside them and smiled, enjoying the feeling of the new outfit. Willow and Anya put all the new clothes into bags and they walked out to the car Wesley had lent them.

Stephen sat in the passenger seat, his arms crossed and his head down, his hair hiding his face. Calista avoided looking at him as she heaved herself into the backseat. Anya dumped the bags in the boot and got into the back on the other side. She was still glaring at Steph-Connor! Calista sighed, mentally scolding herself for continuously forgetting that his name was Connor now. Willow drove back to the hotel. There was an icy silence in the car. Calista stared out at the streets of L.A. People walked around, seemingly dazed, bodies littered the ground and there was litter and rubble everywhere. The sunlight laid the truth of the apocalypse bare. And somewhere in the city, 'Cordelia' was biding her time. Calista clenched her fists as she thought of the 'woman' who'd done so much damage to her faith in Connor. She hated 'Cordelia'!

Her bitter thoughts were broken as the car parked, and everyone climbed out. Calista tried to take a bag but Anya and Willow waved her away, telling her she wasn't to trouble herself. She sighed in slight exasperation, then felt guilty as she knew they were only trying to help her, and hadn't she wanted this sort of thing for months? Feeling like an ungrateful brat she followed the two women. Stephen had gone on ahead.

"Hey, welcome back from the shopping spree." Dawn smiled at them.

"I think it's highly inappropriate to be going shopping during such a serious time."

"Nobody cares Andrew!" Xander glared at the younger man. Andrew huffed and stormed back into the kitchen. "And may I say Calista you are looking radiant." She flushed brightly and lowered her head, smiling at the compliment.

"Thank you Xander."

"I totally agree, I mean, that top looks great on you. Blue is definitely your colour." Dawn said cheerfully.

"Thank you." Calista gave the younger girl a grateful smile. She was not used to getting any compliments. Casting her eyes about she saw the small garden, whose doors were opposite the main entrance ones. The flowers were regaining their strength after suffering from no sun for so long before. Calista loved flowers, especially the yellow ones called Daffodils. She thought they were so cheerful looking and the smell of them was uplifting. "Um… where did Connor go?"

"Uh, into the training room. He looked like he needed to blow off some steam." Both Willow and Anya frowned at the mention of Connor and the frowns deepened at Dawn's comment. Calista bit her lip and nodded. She walked out of the lobby and wandered into the training room.

It was actually a ballroom of sorts that the gang had converted into a training room for the Potentials. There was enough room that the Potentials could spar one on one with as much energy as they wanted. Calista watched the girls move, envying that they were being taught the very thing she'd wanted to learn, but had been denied. Connor was watching them sulkily and she sighed, closing her eyes to repress the pain. She was good at doing that now. As she opened her eyes they locked with Connor's and they stared at each other from across the room. Calista tried to hide how much she wanted to cry but found it hard to do it. Finally she closed her eyes again and collapsed.

* * *

Connor had never moved so fast in his life as he did when Calista's legs gave out. It was like he popped from one place to the other with no movement he moved so fast. He caught Calista and carefully lowered her to the ground, cradling her head.

"DAD!" he cried in fear. Angel was over in a flash. Wesley crouched down beside them and checked Calista's pulse. Then he checked her pupils. "What's wrong with her?" Connor asked in terror, forgetting his earlier anger.

"I'm not sure. It could be she's just exhausted emotionally and it's taking its toll on her body."

"Come on, let's lay her on the couch." Angel ordered, and together he and Connor lifted her up into their arms and carried her into the lobby.

"What happened?" asked Fred, rushing over as they came in.

"She just collapsed." Angel explained shortly as he and Connor laid the girl on the couch. Connor then crouched beside her and stroked her face, eyes wide in worry. He didn't even notice Willow or Anya who were giving him dark looks. Angel did notice and he noticed the already fading bruise on Calista's cheek, which had not been there when she left. The vampire was smart enough to do the math, even if he didn't want to believe it.

"Well, I'll get her a cool cloth, it might help wake her up." Fred hurried into the kitchen. Connor's brow was creased with worry as he stroked her cheek with his fingers. He deeply regretted hitting her, and he wanted nothing more than to apologise for it. God! Why did she ever want him?

He took the cloth from Fred and pressed it to her cheek, brow and neck. Calista stirred and moaned softly, tilting her head away. Angel gently smoothed her hair with a large hand. She opened her eyes reluctantly and looked around in confusion. It must have been quite a sight to come around with more than ten people looking down at you with concern. Calista frowned in confusion.

"What happened?"

"You fainted." Connor said softly, taking her hand in his. Her eyes flew to him sharply, surprised. "Do you feel all right?"

"A bit dizzy." she admitted softly, staring at him carefully. "It's passing though."

"Ok. You take your time. When you feel able I'll help you upstairs to rest." She gave him a tiny, unsure smile and he pressed the backs of her fingers to his lips, never once taking his eyes off her. Calista stared at him guardedly and then she looked away, smiling up at the others.

"I'm alright. Really. There's no need to be concerned." Her words were not backed up as she winced and rubbed her stomach.

"Calista?"

"It's just the babies, they're kicking. It hurts a bit because there's not much room for stretch. I'm fine." The young woman sat up slowly and Connor helped her to her feet, his arm going around her waist to support her. She flushed a delicate pink.

Together they made their way up the stairs, Connor holding her firmly to make sure she didn't stumble. She let him lead her along, bring her into the bedroom and sit her on the bed. She stared at his shoes, refusing to look at his face. Connor grimaced in remorse. Reaching out he cupped her chin and made her look at him.

Her sea blue eyes were a storm of emotion, he could easily drown in them.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have hit you." She cast her eyes away from his,

"It's fine, I shouldn't have said-"

"No. If that's how you feel… he wasn't kind to you. I know that. I wasn't any better." He let her go and knelt before her, staring at her intently, "I'm so sorry for everything." Calista closed her eyes, and licked her lips. "Calista I know… I know I can't take back what I've done, what I've said, but I mean it when I say I love you. I do. I love you so much." Calista's face crumpled and her lower lip trembled. "Cal…"

"Please Stephen, please stop. I can't do this." she pleaded tearfully, shaking her head. "I'm so lost. I'm so confused. Please don't make it any harder." She grimaced and rubbed her stomach. "I… I see women like Buffy and I want to be like her. I want to be strong and free. And then it'll all come back to me, the things Daniel said, how he would tell me that women are second to men, and women are for having and rearing children and cooking and all of that. I can't stop feeling torn, I want to be one thing and everything I was ever taught growing up is going against it." A tear fell down her cheek. Her hands left her lap and gripped her hair in a gesture of despair. Connor felt his own despair grip his soul as he watched Calista agonise over her feelings.

"Calista-"

"AH!" Calista screamed and the sheets of the bed were suddenly soaking wet. Connor leapt to his feet in shock. Calista whimpered and clutched her belly, frightened. "Stephen?" Connor stared at her in complete shock, unable to move. "Stephen! Get someone! The babies are coming now!" Calista cried out in pain, falling onto her back and writhing in pain. It made Connor snap out of his stupor and he bolted out of the room shouting for his father.

Angel was in the middle of being given a play by play of the incident in the mall when he heard Connor screaming for him. Instantly he was running to his son.

"Connor, what's wrong?" Connor pointed at his room,

"Calista. The babies, coming! Wet sheets." he babbled, looking terrified. Angel didn't need to hear anymore.

"Wesley!" he called urgently, rushing past Connor to his room.

Calista was on the ground, clutching her belly, whimpering in pain. She seemed to have slid off the bed. Angel gently lifted her up and lay her on the dry side of the bed. She held her stomach and whimpered and moaned. Angel was reminded of a frightened mare in labour as he watched her. The girl was terrified of what was happening to her.

Wesley rushed in with Buffy and Connor right behind him. At once the ex-Watcher turned Rogue Demon Hunter took control of the situation. He knelt on the edge of the bed and said calmly to Calista,

"Calista, listen to me. Calm your breathing, remember your exercises." He held his hand out and she grabbed it, squeezing it hard and she tried to do as he said. She did that strange breathing exercise all labouring women did and seemed to calm. "Right. Good, that's good. Now I think you all should leave. I need to see how dilated she is."

Angel was quick to leave but Buffy and Connor stayed. "You two want to stay?" They nodded, a stubborn look on both their faces. "Alright, Connor stay by her and hold her hand. Buffy get a cold towel." They both obeyed him. "Calista I'm going to take a look, is that all right?" Calista nodded, a terrified expression on her face.

Wesley was an expert at professionalism in a crisis and it was perfect at this moment when the situation was one of severe panic. With all the clinical care of a doctor he undid Calista's jeans and pulled them down with her underwear. Connor made a noise of protest but Wes silenced him with a look. Calista let out a sob and turned her face away in humiliation.

Wes was very thankful when he saw that there seemed to be no sign of a head yet. He wasn't quite ready to deal with that sight. The current situation was enough for now. "Breath Calista. Just keep breathing." he coached.

Calista sobbed, and cried,

"This isn't the right time!"

"Apparently the babies disagree." Wesley said with dry wit.

"They'll die if they're born now." she whimpered.

"Calista how far along are you?"

"I don't know! 35, 37 weeks." she hiccupped

"Well then I'm sure they'll be fine. Babies have been born at 27 weeks and survived." The girl sobbed again and shook her head as Buffy tried to pat it with the wet towel.

"You don't understand, I wasn't supposed to give birth until I'd stopped the evil. She told me if I gave birth before then the babies and me would die." Wesley's eyes went wide in alarm.

"Are you sure?" Calista nodded, tears streaking her face.

"The power that's been growing within me since I conceived will kill us if I don't release it first. I can't do that. I don't know how." She began to cry in earnest, terrified. Connor held her hand and rocked her in his arms, trying to calm her but she was inconsolable. Wesley shared a look with Buffy and he saw the Slayer was feeling as helpless as he was. He had no idea what to do.

Connor stroked Calista's hair and tried to calm her but she just wept.

A bright light suddenly filled the room.

Wesley jumped to his feet. Something was glowing brightly with white light and walking towards them from the window. The light died away slowly to reveal a woman in a beautiful blue dress. Her skin continued to glow softly even as the light died away. The woman's face was a picture of serenity. But that wasn't the most surprising thing. That was the fact that she was Calista. Or at least she looked very like her. She was older though; an adult whereas Calista was a teen, and her blond hair was cut above her shoulders. Her old, wise eyes were the biggest difference.

The woman walked softly over the carpet and Wesley and Buffy moved out of her way as she approached the bed. They knew she was here to help. How they knew it they didn't understand, but they did. Calista looked up at the woman with large frightened eyes and the woman reached out and stroked her face with the backs of her fingers. Calista closed her eyes and her tears were tenderly wiped away.

The woman looked at Wesley and Buffy and lightly gestured to the door. She was telling them to leave. Buffy and Wesley slowly walked out dutifully. Connor held Calista tight, confused and wary. The woman smiled at him sweetly and touched his cheek. At once he fell asleep.

Now the woman rested her hands on Calista's belly. The girl looked at her questioningly, pleading for her help. The woman's hands roamed slowly over her stomach, then she pulled the top away and rested her hands on the bared skin. Calista found she didn't mind. The woman's hands roamed over her stomach again, as if she was massaging it.

A contraction came but paused in mid-motion, and there was no pain. The woman let one of her hands slide down between Calista's legs and Calista tensed at once. With her other hand the woman stroked her face soothingly. Calista stared up at her, anxious again. The woman smiled at her and Calista felt a warmth move upwards through her body, from where the woman's hand was and through her belly. It spread throughout her body like warm water and she moaned softly. The warmth made her mind go fuzzy and she felt like she was floating. Her eyes slowly flickered shut and her breathing evened out. The woman's smile widened in contented happiness.

* * *

Hope no one wants to kill Connor either.

Reviews are a great source of encouragement to post more.

Night's Darkness


	6. The Truth Hurts

Ok, sorry about the nasty cliffhanger, but here we go with the next chapter. What'll happen? Read and find out!

Big Thank you to all my reviewers! I'm glad people are enjoying this one more than the original version. I know I'm happier with it.

Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 6**

Connor looked around the white room, wondering if this was the same place as in Wolfram and Hart. Yet he didn't see any little girl or Beast.

"Hello?" he called, "Anyone here?" His mind told him that something was wrong, that something had been happening before he got here. But he couldn't remember it.

"Stephen?" He turned to see Calista standing just a little away from him. She was dressed in a beautiful dress of shimmering silver silk that hugged her curvy, not-pregnant figure. Her hair was loose and blowing in a gentle wind. In a word; Wow! He couldn't believe he'd ever thought Cordelia was the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen. "Where are we?" Her large blue eyes were searching the room with confusion.

"I don't know."

"You're in a world of creation. A place where you can bring forth anything you wish to have." They both turned to see a tall, broad shouldered man, with floppy black hair and black eyes. Pale skin with black veins visible through it and long lean limbs. He looked, bar some minor differences, exactly like an older Connor. He smiled at them warmly and shifted where he leaned against a wall.

"Why are we here?"

"Because you two need to sort yourselves out without any interference. You need to be honest with each other completely."

"The babies?" Calista pressed her hands to her flat stomach, looking frightened.

"They're fine. Calida is taking care of them. Don't worry."

"That's the woman who looks like Calista?" Connor remembered now.

"Yep." The man's smile widened and he straightened up, "Look, you can do whatever you want here. You can bring forth memories and watch them, you can create what you've always dreamed of seeing, it just takes concentration."

"How long are we supposed to stay here?"

"As long as you need to." The man turned around and began to walk away.

"Wait!" Calista called. He paused and looked over his shoulder, "How did I go into labour? Was it just stress?"

"No." he said, "Cordelia used dark magic against you. She knew that if you gave birth now, you'd die and no one but you can stop this apocalypse."

"Why not?"

"No one else has the power." Calista closed her eyes and lowered her head, clenching her fists. "I know it doesn't seem very hopeful now, but you can do this if you try." The man smiled at her consoling and was about to continue on when Connor burst out,

"Who are you?" The man smiled,

"My name is Connacht and we'll see each other again. Don't you worry." And he vanished.

Connor and Calista looked around again and then at each other. Feeling awkward they looked away again and folded their arms over their chests. They were silent, neither knowing what to say. Connor shifted from foot to foot, his eyes flicking to her and away. She saw him though.

"What are you staring at?" she asked irritably.

"You." he answered, staring at her fully, his eyes trailing over her body. She went pink and looked away. "You look amazing in that dress."

"I…"

"You do. You look like an angel in that dress."

"Rather than a fat cow." she muttered softly, looking down at herself.

"You're not fat!" he said firmly, "You're pregnant."

"And that's worse!" she snapped, before covering her mouth. Connor stared at her with wide eyes,

"Do you not want them? Do you not want our babies?"

"That's… yes- I mean- oh- Stephen can't you just for once look at this from my viewpoint?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Think about it Stephen! What did Daniel call me when he realised I was pregnant?"

"He called you…" Connor winced, unable to say the word. Calista nodded,

"A whore. He called me a whore." Her hand reached up and touched her cheek and she winced, as if she could remember Daniel's hand slapping it. Daniel had done far more than that. "Well… that's the point. I mean… if you hadn't been so… if you hadn't pressured me so much to… then I'd never have become pregnant. You didn't get hit for it, you didn't get cursed and spat at. I did. And in the end, it wasn't my fault, it was yours."

"I'm not the one who can-"

"But you are the one who got me pregnant. I didn't do it on my own." she said sharply, "But you didn't, and you still don't, get punished for it and **I** have suffered for it! I have suffered since the beginning!"

"I never forced you into anything. I never held you down and… and took you while you begged me to stop." Connor spluttered.

"Yes, so you think, but you were always pressing me to go further, to go the full way. If you hadn't… If you had just left me alone… you gave me no choice but to do it."

"So I raped you! Is that what you're saying?" Connor snarled, reaching out and grabbing her arm. She looked panicked for a moment, then it vanished and her eyes darkened. She shoved him hard and he flew across the room. As his head hit the wall it seemed to knock a memory to the front of his mind.

_(Flashback)_

"Stephen, we shouldn't be out here, if Daniel wakes up and finds us both gone, what will he think?" Calista whispered, shaking in fear of what Daniel would do if he found out what they were doing. Stephen grinned and pulled her against him and he began to kiss her hungrily, ravishing her mouth. She moaned softly then pushed him away. He grunted in annoyance.

"He won't ever find out. Stop worrying so much." He pressed her against the wall of the cave that was near their own and began to nibble down her neck. She gasped lightly and gripped his shoulders, torn between terror and pleasure, as she always was when they snuck away like this. "Come on Calista, don't be so tense." Stephen urged, his breath tickling her skin. He moved down her neck to her collar bone, and his hands travelled over her hips, sliding under her top to stroke the soft skin of her stomach. She whimpered, and her stomach rippled under his touch.

Stephen's mind was a blur as he pulled the girl down and laid her on the ground beneath him. His hands knew where they wanted to go and his lips, tongue and teeth just wanted to taste as much skin as he could reach. Calista half struggled and half responded to him and he growled in irritation.

"Cal, he won't find out. Come on. You want this don't you?" She swallowed,

"I…"

"Why let it go this far if you didn't want it? If you didn't like it?" Calista whimpered again as he kissed her deeply, almost like he was trying to draw her life force into him. He hovered above her and began to pull her clothes away. She gave no resistance, her eyes confused and anxious. "I won't hurt you Cal. You know that. I love you." Her eyes widened in shock as he stroked her face gently. "You love me right?"

"I… I do." she stammered, "But Stephen, we're not married in the eyes of God. We'll be committing a sin if we do this."

"How can it be a sin? We love each other. We're within our rights to do this. Why can't we do it?" Stephen's mouth was not connected with his brain, he had no idea where this was all coming from but he could see it was working on her. He leaned down and kissed down her neck, nipping the skin in a way that always got a reaction from her. It worked like a charm, she gasped loudly and clung to him. Moving back up, his mouth caught hers and they kissed hungrily. Calista was too lost in the kiss to notice what else Stephen was doing and Stephen swallowed her cry of pain, licked her tears up and bit her lip to draw blood as he took away her purity.

_(End Flashback)_

"Oh God." Connor moaned, clutching his head and falling on his side. Calista stared at him in confusion. "What have I done?" he cried out. "Oh God!" Calista seemed to understand, but her compassion wasn't moved,

"Did you even mean it when you said you loved me? Or did you just say it to get under my skirt?" Her tone was bitter, tear filled. Connor looked up into her eyes and his own said it all.

They said Yes.

"I knew it! You never loved me! You just wanted to have your way with me." Her face was openly furious. "You made me into a whore! You did it!"

"You're not a whore!" he protested, pushing himself to his feet. "You're not!"

"Daniel said-"

"Daniel was a monster who did nothing but torment us!" he snarled. "He'd tie me to trees and leave me alone. He'd leave you all alone in the cave. He made me think you weren't as important as him and me. He was wrong! You are more important than either of us ever were."

"Oh stop it Stephen! You're just saying things you think will make things better." Connor flew across the room and grabbed her, bringing their faces so close their noses were almost touching. "Why can't you speak the truth? Tell me how you really feel instead of trying to say what you think I want to hear."

"Ok fine!" He gave her a sharp shake, "You want the truth, well here it is! I lied when I said I loved you in Qour-toth. I did. I just said what I thought would get you to let me do what I wanted." She flinched but didn't pull away, "When you told Father you were pregnant, I nearly said it wasn't mine, that I hadn't touched you, just so he wouldn't get angry at me. But I saw how scared you were, I watched as he kicked you in the stomach and I knew I couldn't do it. I couldn't watch you suffer at his hands because of me. So I defended you from him. I claimed our babies as mine."

"Oh my hero." she sneered, "Thanks for telling the truth."

"Have you any idea how hard it was for me to admit that? I grew up with him calling me son, but always disappointing him because I'd fail or act like Angel. I knew if I admitted the truth he'd never forgive me."

"I thought he would kill me for it! I thought he would stick a knife into my stomach, killing our children and me." Connor let her go and they both sank to the ground, tears pouring down their cheeks. "You let him hit me Stephen, you let him beat me. He could have killed the babies and for so long you just stood there."

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" Connor wept, reaching out for her but she pulled away. "Oh God forgive me, I'm sorry!"

"How can I believe you're sorry for everything you've done? How can I believe you even care about us?" Connor sobbed and reached out again, grabbing her arm again, pulling her closer.

"I do! I always cared about you, but it was when I didn't have you that I fell in love with you. I'd lie alone in the bed those first three months and wonder where you were, worry about whether or not you were alive, whether you and the babies were safe. You were all I could think about at night. During the day I could keep busy distracting Fred and Gunn from finding dad, and learning about the world. But at night, lying alone, you were all I could think about."

"How can I believe you?" Connor reached up and cupped her face firmly, but not roughly, making her look him straight in the eyes.

"In Quor-Toth you used to trust me with your life, that I'd keep you safe from the demons. Now I'm asking for the same faith with your heart. I do love you, I know, I know I've been awful at showing it but I just… I'm all messed up; I don't know what's going on in my head. But when I look at you I see so much. I see the past, I see us growing up side by side, I see you crying so often in misery and I did nothing to stop it even though I wanted to. But I also see you now and I think about how beautiful you are, how amazing you look carrying my -**our-** children, I think about how you make me so happy just by being near me. Calista, I can't even begin to explain how you make me feel. Cordelia didn't make me feel anything as strong as you do."

"You kissed her." Calista murmured, her eyes fixed on the ground.

"I did, and I'm sorry. I just… I was lonely I guess and she was there and… I don't know, I just couldn't stop myself."

"I wanted to." she said tearfully, looking up, "I wanted to so much, anyone would have done. My body's been out of control, and I've been craving the feeling of lying with a man. The doctors said it was normal, that pregnancy makes you… as they say, horny." She went a bright pink as the word left her mouth, "But I never tried. I was offered and I always said no. I fought off men who tried to force me. I even murdered a man when he tried to in a fit of terror." Connor reached out again and wrapped his arms around her, offering comfort. Calista let out a sob and buried her face in his chest. Her dress melted into animal skin, torn and bloody, her hair became a tangled mess. Connor held his broken angel tight to his body, willing his strength to help her calm.

"Cal…" he whispered into her hair, tightening his hold on her. Calista dug her fingers into his arms, her whole body shaking with the force of her sobs. "It's all right Cal, it's all right."

"No it's not! Everything's so messed up! Why me? Why am I the only one who can stop this thing? Why am I the only one able to stop this evil? I'm evil! I'm damned! Why me? Why my babies? Why us?"

"I don't know, I really don't know." Connor kissed her head, tilting her head up and covering her face with kisses. Her tears were bitter, and he wiped them away. "I wish I could take back so much, but I can't. I wish I could give you everything you deserve but I can't. I wish I could make it so you'll never doubt my love."

"I want to love you Stephen. I do, really. But I don't know how."

"Well… we can just… take it slowly, get through this apocalypse and get to know each other again. I'm willing to wait forever to fix things between us." Calista held his head tenderly in her hands and rested their brows together.

"I don't know what my heart wants anymore. Everything is so different now. Daniel's dead, we're in a world that doesn't follow rules we grew up in. I am certain of one thing though." She kissed him, pushing him over so he was on his back. When she pulled away, she said, "I know what my body needs. It needs you. I still feel that even though I'm not pregnant here."

"Are you sure?"

"I need this Stephen. Please… I can't give you my heart yet but I need you." Connor reached out and stroked her cheek. He pulled her down to him and kissed her gently, letting her control it. He let her possess him, rather than taking from her what he wanted. Calista was pulling at him hungrily, her cheeks were flushed and her chest heaved as he made love to her. As she reached her peak she called out 'Connor!' rather than Stephen and it made him smile as he followed her. When it was over she lay down beside him, pressing her body to his and she fell asleep, while he ran his lips over her face gently.

Connor looked around the white room and wondered what the point of bringing them here was, when they hadn't needed anything from it. Then he looked at Calista again and knew it had been to make a point. Whatever this place could have given them would have only been an illusion and whatever they had between them was real. Connor stared at her, one finger tracing over her lips, her jaw, her delicate facial features. When it came down to it, Calista was an average looking girl in the world, like Connor was an average looking guy, but as he stared at her, he saw such beauty that he felt like he was staring at an angel. Calista was an angel, an angel whose wings he'd broken selfishly.

Little did he know how right he was.

* * *

"So let me see if I get this straight. You were helping Calista, when she tells you that the power within her will kill the babies if she doesn't release it first, then a woman who looked like Calista but older, and wasn't her, just appeared out of nowhere, told you to leave and you did!?"

"Well… she didn't tell us to leave, more like pointed to the door." Buffy mimicked the gesture of the woman.

"Oh well that makes it alright." Angel said sarcastically, throwing his hands up in the air.

When Buffy and Wesley had come downstairs Angel had been in a panic, then when they gave a quick explanation of what had happened he'd tried to run into the room only to find it locked and no amount of vampire would open it. "Anything could be happening to them!"

"Please don't worry." Angel whirled around and came face to face with what he could only assume was the woman Buffy and Wesley had described. She really did look like Calista, only older and she wasn't pregnant. "Everything is all right now."

"Oh really?" Angel put his hands on his hips, glaring at her. "What did you do to Calista?"

"I stopped the labour, resealed her womb, and restored her waters. The babies are fine now. Calista just needs to rest. I'm afraid we weren't quick enough to stop the spell that caused her such a fright but now we'll be protecting her."

"Who are you?" Angel whispered, staring at her in confusion. The woman smiled and looked to the side. A man, with dark hair, dark eyes and black veins smiled at her tenderly from where he stood by the glass doors. He looked just like Connor, only older and broader at the shoulders.

"We are an ally and you only need to know that for now, we will help protect Connor and Calista." The woman walked up the few stairs to join the man who held out his hand to her. She slipped her own into it and they walked through the solid doors, disappearing as they passed through the small patio.

"Ok that was weird." Rona said, wide-eyed.

"No kidding." Dawn agreed.

Angel bolted up the stairs and threw the door open into Connor's room. Connor and Calista both slept on, their hands entwined by their heads, Calista's free hand resting on her belly. Nothing seemed out of place, and Angel could hear the beat of four hearts. Slowly, he walked over to the bed and sat by Calista. With a shaking hand he reached out and rested his hand on her stomach. Her skin was warm under the soft material of her top, and as he waited, something hand shaped pressed against his palm. Angel smiled.

"It's kinda hard to believe." He looked up to see Buffy standing in the doorway. "Not even a full year ago you weren't even a dad." She walked over and sat beside him, "Now you're about to become a granddad." The slayer cocked her head to the side for a minute and said, "Scratch that, it's totally weird!" Angel chuckled and nodded,

"I can't get my head around it. I mean when Darla showed up that night, her stomach swollen, I refused to believe that it could be a real child of mine, that I could have created a life, I mean, a human with a soul. But there he is." The vampire gestured to his son who slept on. "And now… I find out he's about to become a parent himself." Angel suddenly felt tears prick his eyes. "I've missed so much of his life Buffy, but when he came back I… I promised both of us, him and me that I wouldn't miss anything else. I'd missed his first steps, his first words, but I could still be there when he learned about the world, his first movie, first crush, first girlfriend. And I looked forward to that a lot. You know, watching him trying to impress her, grinning like an idiot when he thought about her, all that sort of stuff. And now I find out I missed that too. I missed my son finding out he was going to be a father. And… it's as if I'll find out that he's done everything that a parent wants to see their child doing, or he won't get a chance to do it, and it just makes me feel… so cut off from him." A tear fell down his cold cheek. He wiped it away, feeling stupid. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't be saying this stuff."

Buffy rested her hand on his shoulder and rubbed it soothingly.

"It's ok. Really. You shouldn't keep this all bottled up. If it had been me, oh boy I'd be total mummy misery. But it's not like it's your fault, or Connor's. It was Holtz's and that demon's. They took away something very precious to parents, but at least you have him now, and you'll get to guide him through being a father, you'll get to hold your grandchildren and see parts of yourself in them." Angel nodded,

"I guess you're right." He smiled slightly at her. "Thanks."

"No problem, now why don't we let them sleep? Those Potentials won't train themselves." Angel nodded and they walked out of the room, Angel carefully closing the door.

* * *

'Cordelia' gasped as she was suddenly assaulted with pain. Doubling over she coughed and gasped in agony.

"That was just a small punishment for letting the Destroyer slip away!" came a deceptively sweet voice. She looked up and saw the slayer, Buffy Summers. But there was no way she could have appeared out of nowhere like that so obviously it was The First,

"Don't you ever get tired of the pop in, pop out crap?" she scorned. The First scowled

"Do you have any idea how much trouble those two Children of Vampires will be for us? They were enough of a problem the last time they were around but now they are allied with the champion and the slayer!"

"T-The slayer?" gasped 'Cordelia' worriedly, placing a protective hand on her stomach.

"Yes she and her friends are here in L.A, thanks to that pregnant brat, and with them here, then the Children of Vampires and their troublesome spawn will be protected! And I have reason to believe the previous ones are not as gone as we thought." The First growled angrily and paced slowly around the room its arms folded across its chest. Cordelia growled,

"Well why didn't you help me with my spell, in case you didn't notice, I tried to kill her in the only real way that she could be killed by magic, as long as she's pregnant anyway."

"Well it's not my fault your magic isn't strong enough to fight those two off."

"You could have helped me!"

"I'm busy with my own work, without helping you with your stupid plans."

"Stupid? Watch your words! I'm more than you could ever be."

"You were. Not anymore. Especially in that slut of a vessel."

"Hey!" The First and 'Cordelia' glared at each other with intense dislike. This was not a friendly alliance. The First threw its hands up,

"Ugh, it's bad enough they're back, but to have them looking like the others… oh it just makes it all the more infuriating! They are the biggest threat to us, with or without the slayer and the champion."

"Do they realise the truth?" asked 'Cordelia worriedly, The First shook its head

"No but they're definitely beginning to figure it out. And Connacht and Calida are interfering to help them. How could you be so stupid as to not top up the spell you cast on his memory?"

"Well I didn't think that slut would have the guts to use magic to contact him!" she snapped.

"You fool, did you learn nothing from the last time? They are the impossible ones, they can do whatever they wish, they'll always find the guts to do whatever's needed, but these two have to be even more special with one being the son of a champion and the other having the power to destroy both of us with a flick of her wrist!" exclaimed The First angrily.

"But she can only access it as long as she's pregnant, right?" said 'Cordelia', "Which is why I tried to force her into labour."

"That is true and they have yet to unlock it." sighed The First, "Which is fortunate for both of us, that shock will probably scare and weaken her, but of course knowing their kind she'll bounce back up in no time."

"And bounce on my mate no doubt!" grumbled 'Cordelia' jealously. The First shot her a strange look to which she pointedly ignored. "Anyway, I need more time, my vessel isn't ready yet, and as per our agreement your minions have to protect me until then."

"I know the agreement!" snapped The First, "But I won't have them running around after you. They will protect you, nothing more, you will have to take care of the ritual yourself!"

"Well if we hold out a week or so more we won't need to go to all that trouble." said 'Cordelia' smoothly, although inside she was getting annoyed. She was not used to being spoken down to. "My vessel will be ready to come forth and it will be so powerful it won't need any sacrifice to-"

"And if you know what's good for you, you will bring your ass into this world as soon as you can, not when it's the most convenient time for you!" said The First angrily and then it was gone. Cordelia fumed,

"I hate that thing!" She rubbed her belly when the vessel inside her moved painfully. It was getting too large, too powerful for Cordelia's body to contain. Soon the body would give and the vessel would burst forth. Soon she'd be able to kill that brat and her offspring, and then she'd be able to control the world. The First might think it was getting a share in the prize, or that it would be able to control her itself, but it was deluding itself. She was in complete control and she would be the one to take all the power.

There was only one slut that could stop her and she knew just how to deal with her. 'Cordelia' smiled to herself, confident that this plan would work.

"Ooooooh Firsty!!"

* * *

Oh dear… nasty Cordy!! What's she up to now? Any theories? I love theories.

Night's Darkness


	7. Love Hate

Whee! Another chapter up. I was a little sad that the last chapter got no reviews, but oh well, maybe this one you'll like. I'm still working hard on improving this fic, but I'm not sure how much I want to deviate from the original plot, so reviews will be really helpful. Or if you've any thoughts on how to keep it to Buffy and Angel, just drop me a line.

Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 7**

Calista woke up slowly, reluctant to leave behind the comforting contentment she'd been wrapped in. Finally she opened her eyes and say Connor staring at her tenderly, his fingers brushing her arm.

"Hi." he greeted.

She smiled up at him, "Hey."

Connor tilted his head, propped up on his hand, towards the window, where sunlight was filtering through.

"Sun's up. Time to get busy."

"Ugh." she groaned, rolling onto her back. The babies dropped from the side to the back and she shifted to get comfortable again. "I want to stay in bed."

"Well I'm afraid that can't be right now. Maybe another time." Connor waggled his eyebrows at her ridiculously and she burst out laughing.

"You can be so silly sometimes." she giggled, "It's one of the more endearing things about you."

"Well thank you." Connor smirked in amusement. "But you still have to get up." She huffed and nodded.

"Alright, alright, I'm up!" Heaving herself into a sitting position she got to her feet. "Happy?"

"Much." Connor rolled out of the bed and retrieved a few items of clothing from the drawers. He glanced at her and said, "I'll go change in the bathroom, then I'll get the bags from yesterday for you so you can get changed."

"That sounds good." Calista smiled at him and then gasped, pressing a hand to her stomach.

"What's wrong?" Connor was at her side in a flash. She smiled and pressed his hand to her stomach. "Oh!" gasped Connor as he felt the kick. "They're all right!"

"They're alive!" she cheered, throwing her arms around him in a hug. He laughed and held her tight, lifting her right off her feet. Then they separated, blushing.

"Well… I'll just get changed." said Connor, backing up a little.

"Yeah. I'll… wait here." Calista nodded, stepping away. Connor hurried into the bathroom. Calista sat on the bed, her cheeks were warm. She felt happier than she could remember feeling in a long time. Humming to herself she retrieved her bag from the corner of the room and pulled out one of the fourth-hand pregnancy books she had and opened the dog-eared book to the chapter detailing the 37th week. Of all the books, this was the one she liked the most. The words were simple and there were plenty of pictures so she could understand what they were talking about.

Calista managed to get through seven paragraphs by the time Connor re-emerged dressed in a simple shirt and jeans and his boots. She smiled at him and he motioned that he would get her clothes for her. She nodded and went back to her book. Connor returned with his arms laden with bags.

"You know, you should probably read a bit of these books, you know, if you wanted."

Connor glanced at the cover.

"Well, which bits would you think are important?"

"Well… maybe the next three weeks, and the birth itself, unless you don't want to be there."

"I can be at the birth?"

"Of course. If you really wanted, you could deliver the babies yourself." Connor's eyebrows raised sharply, "Or you could just let me crush your hand as I gave birth. Your choice." Calista shrugged, getting to her feet. She took the bags and set them on the ground, searching through them. "Hm… do you like this?" She pulled out a sea-green top that had kimono sleeves and a ribbon running from the neckline to just above where her belly would protrude.

"Yeah. It's nice." Satisfied she grabbed a few other things and went to change, "You can use the shower if you want." Connor called. Calista arched an eyebrow at him,

"You think I smell?" she asked blandly,

"No! Not at all." Connor exclaimed, flustered. "I just meant… if you wanted."

"Well I think I will. Why don't you go on ahead and make sure no one's worried about us." He nodded and walked out.

Calista hummed to herself as she turned the shower on and disrobed, stepping inside. The warm water felt incredible as it ran over her skin and she shivered in delight. Grabbing some shampoo she sniffed it before she used it, she did not want to find it smelt male. It turned out that it smell like fruit and it felt wondrous to work it into her long hair.

When she was finished she hopped out and found a towel. Wrapping this around her body, she used another to roughly dry her hair. Wandering into the bedroom she retrieved her brush and began to work it into her tangled hair. It took her a long time to remove all the knots, but when she was done she plaited it all, and then secured it in a bun out of the way with a lot of Kirby pins that were loose in her bag. Patting it, she smiled, satisfied. Then she pulled on her clothes, and smoothed the top over her belly.

Calista took a deep breath and then looked in the mirror. To her shock, she saw a normal looking young woman, in nice clothes, and with nice hair. She smiled at her own reflection.

"It's not a sin to be happy with how you look." she said to herself, remembering one of the workers in the soup kitchen telling her that when she'd said it was a sin to be vain. It was a lesson she'd remembered, but had trouble, still did really, accepting. Daniel's words were forever dancing in her head.

* * *

Connor wandered down the stairs into the lobby again and found that several people had entered it since he'd been there getting the bags.

"Good morning!" he called, smiling at Buffy, Willow, Gunn, Wesley, Fred, Giles, Xander and his dad. They all started in surprise at his appearance and then his dad beamed,

"Morning son. How's Calista?"

"She's fine, just taking a shower. The babies are fine too."

"That's good to know. It must have been the stress of everything." Willow said, the last part with an accusing tone.

"Actually we think it was Cordelia. She must have used magic to cause it." Connor smoothly ignored the redhead, he wasn't about to let her opinion bother him. She knew nothing about him or Calista.

"Oh god." Buffy groaned, wincing. "Why would she do that?"

"Well if Calista has the power to stop her, Cordelia obviously would want to eliminate her before she gets a chance and right now Calista is vulnerable."

"But that woman, who looked like Calista, said she'd be protecting her, right?" Fred pulled a face. "I mean… I know we've no idea who she is but still… if they were telling the truth, doesn't that mean Calista's safer now?"

"Maybe from magic, but something tells me she can still be killed the old fashioned way." Connor scowled, crossing his arms, his good mood souring.

"Good point, so I think we should always have one or two people guarding her at all times." Angel said, straightening up. Connor nodded in agreement. Suddenly a delicious smell wafted from the kitchen and Connor sniffed curiously.

"Who's making waffles?"

"Andrew. I've a need for something sugary." Buffy answered with a smile. "Hey Willow, we'd better get everyone else up. We can't exactly have them sleeping in during an apocalypse."

"True." Willow straightened up and followed the slayer upstairs. Angel put his hand on Connor's shoulder,

"How're you holding up kiddo?"

"Me? I'm ok." Connor lowered his voice, "I mean, it's been… hard for both of us, and there's a lot of… baggage but we're trying to work it out."

"That's good. I'm here if you need me, you know that right?"

"Yeah." Connor smiled. Angel tried to but something prevented it. "What is it dad?" Angel sighed and led him to the side, lowering his voice to a level no human could have heard, but Connor could,

"Look Connor, I understand that things are difficult between you and Calista, I can't even imagine the issues you two have, but…"

"But?"

"But… I'm just a little concerned and upset by the fact that you hit her yesterday." It was quite clear he was more than a little but didn't want to say. Connor lowered his head,

"I know it was wrong and I regretted doing it even as I did it, but it was a reaction, and Calista understands that. I'm not saying it was right, but she is used to being hit. Holtz would hit her if he got angry. He'd hit me too, but that was only because I wasn't able to do something. Calista sometimes got it for speaking against him. He was never really kind to her. He'd always talk down to her." Connor suddenly couldn't stop his mouth and Angel put his arm around his shoulders gently and led him away from the watching people by the desk. He took him down into the basement, where Skip was being kept for now, sealed in a silent spell. The demon could see things but couldn't hear anything and nothing he said could be heard, so essentially they were in privacy.

Connor sat on the table that was by the stairs and clasped his hands together, resting his elbows on his legs. He looked at the ground and he began to talk again, "Holtz would always say to use that women were the downfall of humanity, that they were dirty and unworthy of God. He'd refuse to teach Calista anything until I begged him to just to make her stop crying. I… I believed him when he said horrible things to her, I mean… I thought his word was law in Quor-Toth."

"That's understandable, I mean… he was… you thought he was your father, it's only natural you'd believe him."

"If I tell you something will you please not hate me?" Connor asked, looking up at him with shameful eyes.

"Of course, I'll never hate you Connor." Angel gripped his son's arms as he said this. Connor swallowed and said softly,

"I used Calista. I… I made her sleep with me, pressured her into doing it. God I may as well have raped her!" Connor sniffed loudly and his hands became fists. Angel tightened his grip.

"Connor, listen to me. You were, you still are a teenager, and teenagers screw up a lot. It's how they learn. You didn't have any way of…" he shrugged, suddenly embarrassed, "letting out your frustrations, and Calista was the only girl around right?"

"Yeah."

"I'm not saying that, pressuring her into it was ok, I'm just saying that if it had been me, and I was a teenager, I'd have probably been no better. When I was your age that sort of thing was all I could think about, and drinking." The vampire grimaced and blushed, "I probably set up the Irish stereotype." Connor couldn't help but chuckle and then he said,

"Do you think I deserve to have her back?"

"Do you love her?"

"Yes."

"Then yes." Angel gave him a smile. "Just don't try and force it. Let it happen. Ok?"

"Ok. Thanks dad."

"You're welcome Connor." The two hugged briefly, feeling that awkwardness men usually feel when they hug and they made their way back upstairs.

In the lobby Calista was devouring a plate of waffles. Both stopped short at how amazing she looked that morning. Her skin seemed to be glowing and her eyes were dancing. Gunn, Wesley and Andrew clearly had similar thoughts as they were staring. Calista was oblivious as she ate the waffles, humming as she did. She'd always liked to sing and hum. Connor grinned to himself and he walked over to her. He nicked some of her waffle and narrowly missed her fork.

"Hey!" she exclaimed, "My waffles!"

"Aw, you want them back?" he teased, holding the piece out. She made a grab for it and Connor popped it into his mouth. "Yum." Calista mock-scowled and poked him in the chest.

"You mean boy." she pouted, "Stealing my waffles."

Angel smiled to himself as he watched the two of them flirt with each other. That was more like it. Now they were acting like teenagers. What had happened between now and last night he didn't know but he was glad it had.

"Ok, shall we get ready to train?" Buffy called, a bunch of sleepy Potentials following her, plus Dawn and Anya.

"Can't we eat first? I'm starving." Kennedy moaned, half draped over Willow.

"Well there's a whole lobby of people and one of Andrew, that'll take too long. Warm up first, then you can eat." Groaning the Potentials filed into the training room. "Ok, now, Calista." Buffy walked over to the girl and took her by the arm gently, "We need to sort out your safety. If you're the key to this… wait what is it you're able to stop?"

"I don't know, I was just told I was able to stop the apocalypse." Calista rested her hands on her stomach, one on top of the other, and frowned.

"But that could be any evil, it could be the First or it could be whatever is inside Cordelia."

"What _is_ controlling Cordy?" asked Willow, looking at Angel's team.

"Some big Boss is all we know. We're not sure what it is." Angel shrugged apologetically, "It has to be something big, something as powerful as the Powers that Be, in order to fool them so well. I mean they managed to ascend Cordy, and manipulate everything around us, my soul, Connor's birth, all sorts of things to lead us to right here."

"My birth?" Connor exclaimed indignantly. "When did you find that out?"

"Skip told us, but-"

"You didn't think to mention to me that my birth was caused by some evil thing that wants to destroy the world!!"

"Well, I just didn't think it would be in your best interest to know."

"So you'd keep it a secret that I was just an instrument for evil!" Connor's eyes were blazing, his hands were tight fists. Calista moved to his side and grabbed his arm. Connor looked at her and she just stared at him, silently asking him to calm down, asking him to set this revelation aside. He sighed softly and lowered his head slightly, giving into her. She smiled at him and let his arm go. Then she spoke,

"Why couldn't it have been a Power that Be? A rogue or something." Wesley's head shot up at that and Giles' eyes widened.

"Is that even possible?" asked Anya doubtfully. "A Power that Be going bad?"

"At this point I'm beginning to think anything's possible." Angel sighed, rubbing his forehead. Calista bit her lip.

"Cal? Is there something else?" Connor prodded softly. She jumped and looked at him, then swallowed,

"Well… the thing is… I just… when the Seer told me about this power I didn't get to hear the whole thing."

"What do you mean?" Calista shivered and explained,

_(Flashback)_

Calista hurried down the street, not daring to look behind her as she made for the Shelter. One hand was pressed to her stomach to try and ease the difficulty of running. The doors were close now and she could see Kevin who worked there clearing away broken bottles from the door.

Kevin looked up as she hurried towards him and he set the brush down at once, running over to her.

"Calista? What's wrong?" He grabbed her by the elbows, drawing her near him.

"Someone's following me!" Kevin looked over her shoulder with a frown. "Can we please just go inside."

"Yeah, come on." Wrapping an arm around her shoulders protectively he led her into the shelter. As usual it was bustling with the quiet activity of homeless people dressed in mismatched clothes and better dressed helpers handing out food, playing games, or just talking. Kevin led her aside from it all and helped her sit down on a chair. Calista leaned back in the chair, rubbing her aching back. "What happened? Did someone try something?"

"No. No not really, but I knew someone was following me, I could hear their footsteps- I have really good hearing- and they always kept in pace with mine. When I sped up so did they."

"Was it just one person?"

"Yes, I think so, but one was enough." she flushed and lowered her eyes thinking of the two times when men had attacked her with vile intentions. Only her strength had saved her once and the other time she'd screamed so loud it was a wonder Stephen hadn't heard her.

Kevin squeezed her arm and gave her a comforting smile.

"Well its ok, no one came in after us. No one will hurt you here." Calista smiled at him and gathered his hand into her two.

"Thank you Kevin. You are very kind. I hope God blesses you." Kevin blushed and nodded in acknowledgement. "I don't know if that sentiment means much coming from someone who's been set for hell since she was created, but I do mean it." Kevin's brow creased in confusion.

"Hell? You? Come on Calista, why would you think that?"

"I was always told I was damned, that I am evil… I don't mean to be or want to be but I just am."

"Well whoever told you that was a liar!" Kevin gripped her hands tightly, looking her straight in the eyes. "Come on Calista, I've known you for a single month and I know you're a good person. I mean… look at you. You chose to have your children rather than have an abortion, you want everything in the world for your children, that is not evil at all. That is goodness."

"Am I to be defined by my children? Is my only purpose to birth them and care for them?"

"No, you can be whoever you want to be, never mind that you're pregnant." Kevin smiled at her in a way that made her tingle and she was suddenly very aware of his skin against hers by their clasped hands. Calista blushed, lowering her eyes and pulling her hands away. Kevin seemed to understand and he said, "Do you want a drink?"

"Hot chocolate?"

"Sure." he chuckled getting to his feet. Calista watched him walking away and she couldn't help but admire the way his shirt outlined his muscles. Immediately she felt guilty and looked away.

Suddenly a hand gripped her shoulder painfully and she looked around to see a woman with no eyes staring down at her. Calista opened her mouth to scream in terror but the woman covered her mouth and pulled her out of her seat. Calista struggled but the woman was unnaturally strong. The woman pushed Calista up against the wall and said in a low voice

"You must go to L.A girl."

"Let me go." Calista pleaded, not really listening to her. The woman shook her sharply and said,

"You have to get the slayer and bring her to L.A."

"What? I don't understand."

"You are the girl who lay with the Destroyer and carry his children now."

"Stephen?" Her eyes widened in shock. "How do you know that?"

"He needs you. You are the only one who can stop this apocalypse."

"What? Please, let me go." This only seemed to agitate the woman more.

"Go to Sunnydale, gather up the slayer and her followers and bring them to L.A. They must work together to protect you. only you can stop the oncoming apocalypse."

"What about Stephen? Is he alright?"

"He is in the clutches of evil. He will share evil's bed, he does not know who you are."

"He… he doesn't remember me?" Calista felt her heart break in her chest. "Nothing?"

"Nothing." she hissed, reaching up and gripping her face. Calista screamed in agony as she was assaulted with images, seeing faces and occurrences in her mind. It seemed to take an eternity before it finally stopped and she sagged in the woman's grip.

"You know what you have to do. And you must do it before you give birth or else you and your babies will die. You must stop the-" The Seer suddenly choked and coughed. Calista looked up to see a pair of hands around the Seer's neck. They twisted sharply and the Seer fell down dead. Calista stared at her in horror and then looked up to meet the dark eyes of a handsome man. He wore the clothes of a Reverend and he was young with brown hair.

"Dirty whore, should know better than to play with magic she isn't pure enough to use." He had a Southern lilt to his voice and his eyes were cold. "And speaking of whores…" He lunged at her and she ducked under his arms, running away as fast as she could. She threw the doors of the shelter open and ran inside screaming. Kevin rushed over and caught her and held her against him. The priest stopped halfway between her and the door.

"Who the hell are you?" Kevin demanded, pushing Calista behind him.

"I am the Almighty's servant, and It has sent me to do Its bidding." the priest smirked, drawing out a sharp dagger. "It has sent me to slay the dirty whore that carries the bastard spawn."

"You stay away from her." Kevin snarled, trying to shield Calista even more. Calista gripped onto his shirt, terrified that this man might hurt Kevin. She whispered in his ear,

"Kevin, be careful he just killed that woman outside."

Kevin shifted, looking a little less confident.

"Get out of here." he said to the priest.

"I will, all you have to do is hand over the girl and I'll kill her and then I'll leave."

Calista whimpered.

"No chance." Kevin snarled, "Get out now or I'm calling the police."

"You'll just be bringing more people I'll kill to get to that little girl."

Calista swallowed, she didn't want anyone to die for her, but she didn't want to die either and she certainly didn't want her babies to be hurt.

"What do you want with me?" she asked trying to sound more confident than she felt, "Why do you want to kill me?"

"You are a danger to the Almighty. It has sent me to do away with you."

"God wants me dead?"

"God? God is nowhere, is nothing! I am Caleb, loyal servant of the Almight First Evil! It's power flows through my veins and I shall do Its bidding." Caleb launched himself at Kevin, but Calista shoved him out of the way and grabbed Caleb's outstretched arm, twisting it and forcing him to roll over on his shoulder.

"Knife!" she called out holding her hand. One of the homeless people drew a switchblade and threw it to her. Calista caught it deftly and held it ready, getting into a defensive stance. There was a kick from the babies and she tried not to think about how hard it would be to fight with her stomach and the weight of it.

"So you want to play hardball?" Caleb laughed, "So be it." He lunged at her again and she barely managed to block him. He made a grab for her neck and she ducked away, spinning on the balls of her feet to escape his arms. Caleb's eyes narrowed and he made for her again.

BANG!

Calista jumped in terror as the shot echoed through the Shelter. Caleb turned around to face the cop who was pointing his gun at him. Caleb took another step towards Calista but the cop shot again, firing six bullets into his back. He staggered but kept going. Calista back away, willing for the bullets to kill him soon. The cop shot another five and this time Caleb stumbled and nearly fell over. He snarled and glared at Calista who tried not to look frightened.

"We're not finished bitch." Caleb snarled, before turning and half staggering and half running out of the Shelter. Calista dropped the knife and nearly fell over in shock. Someone caught her and she was lowered onto a chair. Kevin was at her side at once and her skin tingled again at his touch. Calista looked at him and said,

"I have to go."

"Go? Go where?"

"… Sunnydale."

_(End Flashback)_

"I got a bus to Sunnydale, spent a while watching Buffy and the others before I approached them. The Seer's… what she showed me, was all there in my head and I understood what it was but I couldn't make sense of it outside my head."

Calista was sitting on the couch, her arms encircling her stomach, a far away look on her face. "It was… it told me everything that had been happening, what would happen up to when we arrived here. That's how I know about Cordelia and everything else. But I think she had more to tell me when she was killed. I don't know what it could have been though." Her blue eyes were focused on the floor, "I'm sorry. It tells you nothing, I shouldn't have said anything."

"Calista have you seen this priest since?"

"He's been following me, but I stayed near to Buffy's house so that I could run to her for help, I thought you might mistake me for a normal person." Calista glanced at Buffy, who walked over and took her hand.

"I would have protected you, don't you worry. And I'm going to protect you now." The blonde slayer stared Calista straight in the eyes and Calista nodded gratefully, squeezing her hand. "Now, what I think is best is that you always have one or two people with you at all times, preferably having at least one person with extra strength, or magic. Is that good?"

"It sounds perfect. Thank you."

"I'll stay with her." Connor said, sitting beside Calista.

"Connor, I was hoping you'd help with training the Potentials. Angel says you're as good as him, so you'd be a real help."

"I want to help but I'm not letting Calista out of my sight." Connor jutted his chin out stubbornly, his hand around Calista's, who was blushing.

"Well she can sit in the training room and watch, that way everyone's happy."

Calista's jaw seemed to tighten but she said nothing. Connor saw it though and he whispered in her ear,

"You don't need to do anything Calista, you can relax for now."

"How am I suppose to unlock this power by sitting around? I mean… is there nothing that gives a hint of what I have to do? A trial, a test, pray? Anything?"

"We've been looking but nothing mentions you or whatever's controlling Cordelia."

"What about the First Evil?" the teen stood up and waddled over to them. She rested her hands on the reception desk, and her eyes flew over the mountains of books, "What if that was the evil I was supposed to take on."

"Then why bring us to L.A?" Willow pulled a confused face as she looked around.

"I don't know." Calista buried her head in her hands, pulling at her hair that she'd carefully styled that morning. Connor moved to her side and put an arm around her waist, rubbing her arm as he pulled her closer to him. "There's so many questions and not enough answers."

Connor's mouth found her ear and he murmured, "Maybe if we went looking for those people who looked like us, they might have some answers."

"Maybe but how would we find them?"

"I don't know." admitted Connor, looking frustrated. Buffy took the reigns,

"Look, lets just do what we can for now, which is mainly research and training, so lets go do that and see what happens."

"Hey, do you need me for the training?" Spike raised his eyebrows at Buffy questioningly.

"Maybe, why?"

"Well I just figure since you'll have both the Pouf and the mini-Pouf over there," he gestured at Connor who frowned, "then I was going to volunteer to guard our resident expecting." He pointed at Calista.

"Wait, you're a vampire." Connor said sharply, annoyed he hadn't noticed sooner, but he'd been too wrapped up in Calista to see the truth. "Why should we trust you?"

"Well first off, I got meself a soul." Spike explained but Fred interrupted,

"Like Angel?"

"No!" both vampires spoke at once, then Angel said forcefully,

"He's nothing like me!"

"Damn right I'm not, if I was like you I'd stake myself."

"And then the world would be such a sweeter place."

"Well if you can't handle living in it I'll be glad to shove a stake through yer chest and end your misery."

"Try it and you'll be the one with a stake through his heart!"

"Hey!" Buffy snapped, "I do not want to have you two bickering like two year olds when we have more important things to worry about. So unless you two can be polite to one another I don't want you talking to each other."

Both Angel and Spike opened their mouths to protest but Buffy pointed a dagger like finger at them both, her eyes flashing in warning. Both vampires backed down and settled for sulking, folding their arms irritably over their chests.

It was taking a lot of self-control on the part of everyone else to not laugh. Calista smirked at Spike and said, "I told you you'd be entertaining."

"Oh bullocks!" Spike grunted to himself, realising he'd just proven himself wrong.

"Don't curse in front of my grandkids!" Angel snapped sharply, moving closer to Calista and Connor. Connor had buried his face in Calista's shoulder and was shaking with laughter.

"Well they're my cousins so I can curse all I like, 'cause that's what older cousins do!" sneered Spike. Connor's head shot up,

"Howsthatnow?" he spluttered. Angel was at a loss for words. Spike smirked and walked over to Calista and rested his hand on her stomach, patting it,

"See, if you're Angel's kid, that technically makes Drusilla your sister. Since Drusilla sired me, that makes me Angel's grandsire, which makes your kids in here my cousins, and you my uncle."

"I have a nephew that's over three hundred years old… I only wish that was the strangest family issue I have but now thanks to you I now have to consider the fact that since my mum sired my dad, she was technically his vampire mother, which makes her both my mother and my grandmother." Connor grimaced violently. Calista seemed to be trying to fight fits of laughter. Angel looked rather mortified and Spike was scowling,

"Well if you want to get technical in a disgusting way mini-pouf that's your business but please don't say it out loud. At least what I said was sentimental."

"Oh yeah… real sentimental. You started it!"

"Gentlemen!" Giles interrupted, "Incestuous vampire relationships aside, we can now confirm that for the day Spike will be guarding Calista?"

"Yeah I'll watch her, don't you worry." Spike gave Calista a warm smile and she smiled back, nodding her head almost in a curtsy to him. "I won't let her out of my sight."

Calista suddenly straightened up and groaned,

"Where's the nearest bathroom?"

Fred pointed her in the right direction. Calista waddled as fast as she could to it, shutting the door behind her. Connor and Angel turned identical smirks to Spike who scowled,

"That doesn't count!"

* * *

Calista remerged from the bathroom looking more comfortable.

"One major downside to pregnancy is the fact that you suddenly need to go to the toilet fifty times a day." she said with an ironic smile,

"Look on the bright side," Connor said lightly, "Here at least there are toilets."

"True. It's a lot better than going behind a boulder and squatting." laughed Calista,

"So you two lived in what? Caves?" Faith arched an eyebrow at them and they shrugged,

"Usually, best place really, provided they weren't too deep or too shallow and were large enough to move around in."

"We needed to be able to build big fires as we got older, Daniel felt the cold more and needed it going all the time, so we had to be even more particular."

"So you were like cavemen?" Both teens frowned in confusion, "Well you lived in caves, wore animal skins and hunted for food. Sounds like cavemen to me. Although," Faith waggled her eyebrows suggestively, "I'm assuming Connor didn't drag you into a cave by your hair when you two got down?" Connor grimaced and went pink. Calista's mouth tightened, even as she blushed deeply,

"Not Connor, no." she said softly, tugging on her shirt self-consciously. No one said anything as they stared at her questioningly. Calista shook her head, commenting lightly, "Shouldn't you be training the Potentials?"

"Yeah… lets go do that." Buffy ushered Angel, Connor, Giles, Wesley and Gunn into the training room, so that the Potentials could get to work. Spike manned his station, watching Calista as she lowered herself into a chair, sighing in relief as her sore back eased.

"Well… we'd better get started on the research." Willow said awkwardly.

Calista rested her head in her hand, her eyes fixed on the floor. Her eyes glazed over as she began to drift away, her mind taking her away from the present.

_"Daniel, let me help you, you'll do yourself an injury if you don't slow down and let me help you." Calista tried to take his arm again but he just slapped her away._

_"I will not be helped by a whore like you." he snarled, heaving himself over the rough terrain. Calista forced back tears as she followed the elderly man, wishing she could do something to fix things, but there was nothing that would redeem her in Daniel's, or God's, eyes._

_They made their way through the rocks, following the trail left by Stephen. It had taken them three days to find it and a further day of travelling to catch up on it. Daniel was excited and Calista was apprehensive. She knew that this trail was leading them to a way out of Quor-Toth and she did not want to leave her home. In Daniel's world her treatment would be far worse. Everyone would look at her and know what she was. Calista did not want to be beaten for her condition again and that was sure to happen if they did go to Daniel's world._

_After another day of travelling they finally reached the place. Calista shivered in fear as she observed the thing before them. It looked like a literal tear in a piece of fabric. Calista couldn't understand what it was but she had no time to consider it because Daniel jumped through. Startled, Calista leapt after him, landing in a graceful crouch. Daniel was not so steady and she grabbed his arm to steady him._

_"Touch me again and I'll beat you to within an inch of your life slut!" he snarled, striking her across the face hard enough to sting. Calista whimpered, hating that he was so disgusted by her. All she wanted to do was scream in frustration, even claim that Stephen had forced her, just to try and make Daniel be kinder to her. But he would never believe her._

_Looking around Calista saw that there were two people lying sprawled out on the ground, as if they'd fallen that way._

_"What are they Daniel?"_

_"They are human." His tone was exasperated, "They work with Angelus."_

_"She's a woman." Calista pointed at one of the figures. This one was brown skinned and had dark short hair. Calista knew she was a woman because her body was shaped like her own. The other must have been a man._

_"Yes, she's a woman." Daniel strode out of the strange room and pushed aside a clear wall, making it swing outward. Calista's sharp nose picked up a delicious scent and she rushed after Daniel._

_"Oh!" Her hands pressed to her face as she beheld a beautiful sight. Plants that were bright and colourful, displaying colours she'd never seen before, were all around her and the sky was blue, with white clouds. There was something large and bright hanging in the blue and Calista had to shut her eyes when she looked up at it it was so bright. As she stood there, her head tilted back she felt her skin begin to warm up, and tingle. "Is this the sun Daniel?"_

_"Yes." he answered, his voice softer as if he was too happy feeling the rays on his skin to be angry with her. "Heavenly sunlight. It warms my old bones."_

_"It feels like God is hugging me with his warmth." Calista smiled,_

_"It's certainly the closest you'll ever get to it." Daniel snorted before his voice regained its sharpness. "Now come on! We have to get away from the hotel and find Stephen." Calista ducked her head again and followed him._

"What's on your mind ducks?"

Calista blinked and looked up at Spike. She straightened up,

"I was just thinking about the first time I felt the sun on my skin… that same day I left Stephen."

"Why'd you do that?"

"Well…"

_"Hello son." smiled Daniel,_

_"Hi dad." Stephen nodded his head to him. Calista stepped out of the shadows, her arms wrapped around herself for comfort. "Calista." Stephen smiled slightly as he saw her._

_"Stephen." Calista walked over and stood by him, her head down to look submissive, as would please Daniel. Stephen put his arm around her waist and held her against him, sharing their body heat to keep them both warm. "I like your clothes." she murmured in his ear._

_"Thanks." Stephen was already looking at Daniel. "I met him. I met Angelus."_

_"As I suspected." Daniel nodded, "You've finally met the devil."_

_"I always imagined what he would look like but…" Stephen swallowed and his grip on Calista tightened._

_"It cannot be easy son. I take it he is still alive."_

_"It wasn't the right time, I couldn't just…"_

_"I understand, it's just…" Daniel eyed Calista with what seemed to be concern_

_"Father?"_

_"There's nothing Angelus loves more than young women, you know that… the woman carrying his own child's offspring? It would be a delight for him to kill her." Stephen looked at Calista whose eyes widened and she pressed a hand to her stomach. "Until Angelus is dead, it is not safe for Calista to remain here."_

_"Where could she go? Where would be safe?"_

_"She'll have to leave the city. Go where… anywhere really."_

_"Daniel I… I'd rather stay with you and Stephen, please, don't send me away. I would not be able to take care of our son alone." Calista clung to Stephen, feeling frightened. Daniel shook his head,_

_"It is for the best, you should go now before Angelus catches up on us or has a chance to learn of your existence. We'll contact you when it is safe."_

_"But… I…"_

_"Go now!" Daniel snapped, grabbing her by the arm and pulling her away from Stephen. Stephen tried to hold onto her but Daniel's sharp glare made him release her. Daniel pushed her away, "Head out of the city and keep following the road until you reach the next one. Don't stay in any one place for too long. Now go!" Calista felt tears prick her eyes and she looked at Stephen who seemed torn. Slowly she turned and began to walk away, feeling sick. Then she suddenly turned around and ran to Stephen, flinging her arms around his neck. She pressed her lips to his and tasted something strange, something that belonged to neither of them. The taste of some other woman!_

_Calista pulled away and stared into Stephen's eyes for a moment, feeling betrayed but his eyes gave away nothing but sadness. Calista swallowed and then ran before she could stop herself from leaving…_

"I must have run for hours, because I was out of the city by the time I stopped." Calista rested her head in her hands. Spike was scowling,

"So he's cheated on you twice? What a prince."

Calista rubbed her belly, wishing she didn't feel so angry about it. How come she could be faithful to Connor when twice he had been unfaithful… why did it only work one way?

"I… I don't blame him for Cordelia, I mean he forgot about me with a spell… but why before? Why did he kiss other women? How many did he kiss before he forgot me?" Calista pressed her hand to her mouth, trying hard not to cry, "I'm sorry I need… the toilet again." Heaving herself out of the chair she bolted to the bathroom and slammed the door shut.

"I'm telling you, if I had my powers still I would so give that boy my best punishment." Anya groused, "Cover his genitals in boils or maybe make him really itchy, or even turning him into a little mouse that she can keep in a cage and feed him when she feels like it."

"Anya I can assure you that a man would take being a mouse over boils on his manhood any day of the week." said Xander, "I can however assure you that I am not against doing such things to that kid. To me, cheating on a pregnant girlfriend twice, is grounds for boils in… sensitive areas."

"He's such a jerk for doing that." Dawn grumbled, "Poor Calista. How she can still want to be with him?"

"He is all she knows. The only guy she's ever known. I guess she's used to letting things go." shrugged Willow. The bathroom door suddenly flew open and Calista came out, her dark eyes flashing in a surprising fury.

"Please do not make assumptions based on what you've heard so far. You don't know the whole story. You don't know what it was like for us. You don't know how many times Step-Connor has saved my life. You don't know anything about him or me!" Her voice had raised to a shout as she spoke, and she was shaking with fury. "Who are you to pass judgement on him or me?"

"Ok, calm down Calista." Willow stood up and tried to placate her. Calista smacked her outstretched hand away, Willow yelped in pain. Calista's eyes widened and she turned away, hurrying up the stairs, cradling her stomach. Spike followed her.

* * *

Spike found Calista crying in the bedroom she and Connor had been sharing.

"Hey luv. Why the tears?"

"I shouldn't have said anything." she whimpered, "Oh I don't know what to do. I'm so angry but I… I don't know how to deal with it, normally I was too scared to say anything about how I feel…"

"Well I always find a good punch up does me a world of good. You get all that frustration out of your system, get that high after… nothing like it!"

"I'm afraid that I'm not in any condition to pick a fight with someone. Unless I tried to flatten them with my stomach."

Spike laughed. Calista smiled slightly but it faded quickly, "How do you forgive the man who meant everything and is all you know, who is the father of your children, how do you just forgive and forget a betrayal like that?"

"You don't need to forget, and you don't have to forgive, but it might be better for you to forgive. I mean for yourself." Spike stuffed his hands in his duster and sat down beside her. "Look, you've been on survival mode for what? Six months? It hasn't allowed you a chance to really think about anything. Now you have that chance, it's all hitting you at once. So you know what I'd do?"

"What?"

"I would go downstairs, grab mini-pouf and tell him exactly what you feel."

"We already sorted our feelings out last night."

"Doesn't sound like it. Sounds like you only started maybe. You can't fix this in one night. Believe me."

"Well… I don't know how to confront him. Whenever I did in Quor-Toth he would tell me to leave him alone and go out hunting. Daniel would tell me to keep my mouth shut. Women are idiotic."

"No they aren't. Women can be smarter than any man if they want to be. Being around the slayer has taught me that. And never ever tell her I said that."

"I won't." Calista smiled, rubbing her stomach. "So… I just tell him how I feel?"

"Yeah, why not? It can't get any worse."

"But we agreed to take it slowly."

"How can you do anything if you don't get this out of the way first?"

"I…" Calista sighed, "I don't know… I need to think. I need to be alone."

"I would give you that if I hadn't just agreed to keep a very close eye on you."

"Oh, right. I forgot." Calista giggled. There were tears in her eyes still, but she seemed to be calming. "Thank you Spike. I never imagined you could be so kind… after all you are a vampire."

"Hey! Just because I'm a vampire doesn't mean I can't make nice. Just never tell the pouf, ok?"

"I won't tell Angel. I promise." Calista jumped and rubbed her stomach, muttering softly to herself about kicks.

"Can I?" Spike held his hand out to her. Calista nodded and leaned back slightly so he could rest his hand on her stomach, waiting for another kick. "Bloody hell, strong kick there. Just like their cousin."

"Their father more like." muttered Calista, "Help me up would you? Its not easy sometimes."

"Sure." Spike took her hands, which were tiny in his own, but strong, and helped her stand. Calista smiled at him gratefully, but Spike saw through it. He knew now that all her smiles were for everyone else, not for her. Here was a girl who didn't know how to smile for herself. That saddened the vampire far more than he would have expected. "Come on ducks, let's get you downstairs. I'll have Andrew make ye some Hot Chocolate or summat."

"That would be lovely Spike thank you."

* * *

As above, reviews are always appreciated!

Night's Darkness


	8. Runaway

Sorry it took so long, but I promise the next chapter will be up very soon!

Hope no one's getting bored. If you want me to focus on the other characters or anything let me know, and I'll try, although I'm a bit worried that I wouldn't get it right, but I'll try.

Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 8**

Buffy watched as Connor and Angel faced off and had to admit, the boy was his father's son.

At the moment Angel was playing an attacking vampire, with his vampire face visible, while Connor was defending himself. The amazed Potentials were having a hard time keeping up with the two they were moving so fast.

Suddenly Angel was on his knees and Connor had one arm about his neck and the other, which was clutching a stake, was moving for the final blow. It halted just as it touched the vampire's chest.

"Ok, did everyone get that?" Buffy asked,

"Not really seeing as they were moving so fast they were a blur." grunted Kennedy. Angel and Connor both rolled their eyes at the younger girl and straightened up.

"If you want to beat a vampire you need to be quick." Connor said, crossing his arms.

"They won't wait for you to catch up with them, if you're too slow, you're dead." said Angel darkly, striding closer to them, making them a little anxious since his game face was still out.

"They don't need to breath, so they already have an advantage over you, aside from the supernatural strength. You get tired because you're out of breath. That doesn't happen with them."

"Why don't I handle the pep talks from now on boys?" Buffy cut in before they made the Potentials wet themselves. Both men shrugged carelessly.

Connor began to shift from foot to foot, as if he was anxious. Buffy guessed he didn't like not having Calista in the same room as him. Still, he was good to have around.

"Ok, now why don't we have Kennedy and Angel facing off and see how she does." Kennedy drew herself up and stepped into the space for fighting. Connor moved out of the way.

Within two minutes Angel had Kennedy in a headlock and was pulling her head to the side to expose her neck. Just as he was about to bite her he let her go. Kennedy's eyes were flashing furiously. Faith was sniggering in her hand and Robin was trying to shush her.

"We need to work on your defence Kennedy. Alright, next!!" Vi slowly approached, looking petrified.

"Vi, seriously, you need to look confident."

"I'm facing a big muscled vampire who's got 300 years of fighting experience on me! How am I supposed to be confident about that?" Vi exclaimed as she got into a fighting stance. Connor smirked, and for a moment Buffy saw Angel in the boy's face.

'_Creepy.'_ she thought to herself as Angel quickly beat Vi. _'Oye, we have a lot of work to do.'

* * *

_

Wesley frowned to himself as he poured over the book Lilah had given him, hoping for more information. Unfortunately, thus far, it had yielded little more than it had before. There was a knock on the door of his office, where he and Giles had retreated when the others had refused to stop chatting while they 'researched'.

"Yes?" Both watchers looked up as the door opened, revealing Calista balancing a tray in her hands.

"I thought you might like something to drink. I hope this tea will be all right… I've never made it before." she said as she entered slowly, clearly waiting for permission to set the tray down.

"Please come in, you didn't need to. But thank you." said Giles with all the air of the British gentleman he was. Wesley cleared a space on the desk for the tray. Calista smiled as she set it down and then teetered slightly as she straightened up.

"It's fine, I needed to do something… I was always taught that idle hands are the Devil's tools. In mine and St- Connor's case that was certainly true." Calista flushed as she rubbed her stomach self-consciously. Giles and Wesley exchanged a look but said nothing as Calista poured the tea for them. Then Wesley took care of milk and sugar. "How has it been going? The research I mean."

"Not very well I'm afraid." Calista sighed and shifted on her feet, as if they hurt.

"I'm sorry. I wish I could help more. If only I could read better… then I'd be useful." Her lip trembled and she swallowed hard. "I wish I could understand what the seer gave me. She gave me so much more than just what Connor has been doing the last few months, but it's all just out of my grasp. Half of it doesn't make sense and what does is just so awful." Calista clenched her fists, "I hate this. I was always taught that this world was better than Quor-Toth but so far I haven't seen any evidence that it is."

"This world is not a paradise, but it does have its beauty and charm." Wesley said softly. Calista stared at her hands, where they rested on her stomach. Finally she said, changing the subject,

"You are both from England, aren't you?" Both men smiled and nodded. Calista smiled back, "I thought so. You both have an accent like Daniel's."

"Yes, we are both from the same country, although very different times." Giles said, appraising her, "I think you have a slight hint of British in you, your voice sounds like you spent some time there."

"Thank you. I suppose it's just from spending all my life around Daniel."

"Interesting Connor doesn't have any hint of an accent." commented Wesley, "If anything I'd swear he was an Irish-American. Mostly an American accent with a touch of a brogue."

"He used to sound like Daniel, I suppose it's the fact that he's been here so long and spoken to so many people, he's just picked it up."

"You didn't."

"I'm not as quick to adapt as he is."

Suddenly Calista closed her eyes and her legs seemed to give out but before either Wes or Giles could catch her she caught herself and straightened up. Her brow was furrowed in what could have been confusion.

"Calista."

"I'm alright." she said, her voice shaky. "I just… saw something."

"What do you mean."

"In my head, it… it was very vivid." Calista's eyes flew open, "A cave. It was huge… the biggest thing I've ever seen. And there were people, people walking around, laughing, talking." Calista looked faint and Giles quickly directed her to a chair. Wesley moved from behind the desk and crouched down before Calista. "There were trees too! Trees in the cave. And houses, in the trees there were houses."

"Calista do you feel alright?"

"I don't know." Calista looked at him straight in the eyes and then fainted.

"Spike get in here!" snapped Giles. Spike, who'd been just outside the door rushed in and between the three of them they lifted Calista, carrying her out to the couch.

"Twice in two days. Calista's breaking my record." Xander tried to joke as they all stood up in alarm.

"No one could break that record Xander." Giles commented as he placed a pillow under Calista's head gently, while Wesley checked her heartbeat and breathing.

"It's not uncommon for some women to faint when they're in their first trimester but I don't think it's good when it happens at this point. There could be something wrong with the babies." Wesley looked very worried. That worry increased when Connor entered, with Dawn behind him. Apparently she'd rushed to tell him the instant she'd seen Calista.

"What happened?" he demanded in a panic, crouching beside Calista, nearly knocking Giles over in the process.

"She fainted. We're not sure why." Wesley said bluntly. "Maybe she's just tired or-"

"Ugh." Calista moaned as she slowly came around. Looking up she frowned, "Didn't this already happen?"

"Yep. You're repeating yourself sweetie." Lorne said lightly, but his brow was creased with worry. "You want anything?"

"Water please." Calista sat up, she looked very troubled.

"Cal, what is it?" Connor asked, pressing her hand in his. Calista shook her head and said nothing. When Lorne returned with the water she drank the whole glass in one. Then she got to her feet, looking very determined,

"We have to find that cave!"

"What cave?"

"That cave I saw, in my head. We have to find it."

"Calista even if such a cave existed, it could be anywhere in the world. We would be wasting so much time if we tried to locate it."

"But… we have to find it. I know there are answers there." Calista looked less determined, as if her confidence was waning. "It's there, I know it."

"Calista. Maybe you should sit down." Connor said gently trying to push her down to sit. Calista gave him a rebellious look and Connor flinched from the look in her eyes. "You ought to rest."

"No, I ought to be finding the cave. I ought to be finding the answers to a riddle I don't even know. I ought to be fighting that thing who tried to kill me and the babies and killing it instead."

Connor and Calista stared at each other, shifting from one foot to another. Finally Connor backed down and said,

"If that's what you have to do, I'll help you."

Calista looked amazed that she'd won the argument. Smiling at Connor she said, "The sooner we find this cave the sooner we'll have answers and the sooner this will all be over."

"Willow, is there a spell that we could use to find this… cave."

"Um… we could try a locator spell." Willow said with a shrug. "I can tune it to Calista and she can control it."

"Me?" squeaked Calista, going pale, "Using magic? Oh I can't! It's a sin to use magic." A visible tremor spread through her, "It's a sin."

"You used magic to contact me." Connor said softly, "If you hadn't I'd have let Cordelia kill that girl."

"I was desperate. There was no alternative. I had to do something." Calista shook her head with fierce stubbornness, "I swore it was a once off. I had to say the act of contrition seventy times before I went to look for Buffy."

"You still pray?" asked Connor looking surprised.

"Of course. Don't you?"

"No."

"Stephen!!" Calista looked horrified, both at his answer and his uncaring tone, "Do you want to make God hate you even more than he already does?"

"I really don't care anymore. From what I've seen there's no such thing as God."

Calista reacted as if Connor had physically hit her. Wide eyed, her hand covering her mouth she backed away from him. Then she looked at the others, as if hoping someone would speak up and declare their belief in God.

No one did.

"Do none of you believe in Almighty God? Do none of you have faith in him?"

There was silence. No one knew what to say. They'd never really stopped to consider it, too busy dealing with lower planed creatures.

Calista backed away from all of them, moving towards the door.

"Calista… what are you doing?" Connor moved towards her, looking worried.

"I thought that you still believed, even if you were evil demons, or witches… I thought you'd still believe in God. I thought you did what you did in the hope that he would forgive you and welcome you into heaven." Tears were filling her eyes as she began to panic. "No! I should never have listened to that woman with her evil magic. I should never have come back, you are all the devil's minions. Stay away from me!" Whipping around Calista ran up the steps and out the door. Connor gave chase with Angel behind him.

"Calista wait! Come back!"

Rain was pouring down and dark clouds blocked out the sunlight, which Angel considered a small mercy, but the rain made it impossible to catch Calista's scent and she was nowhere to be seen. Connor spun around, looking everywhere for her, calling her name. There was no sign of her.

"Dad! What'll we do? We have to find her." Connor was panicking and looking to Angel for answers.

"Calm down Connor, we'll find her, she can't have gone too far." Calista shouldn't have been so fast when she was so heavily pregnant. A shiver went through Angel's body. Running inside he told Willow to cast a locator spell and Connor was quickly scouting the immediate area in case Calista was hiding.

They were so wrapped up in finding the pregnant girl they were unaware of a pair of dark eyes watching them…

* * *

Reviews are always appreciated!

Night's Darkness


	9. The Barriers Begin To Fall

:-( No reviews for the last chapter, so I've no idea what people thought of it. I hope you liked it and that you enjoy this one.

Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 9**

Calista was shivering with the cold as she hurried up the steps, one hand supporting her stomach. Crashing into the doors she pushed with all her might and made the wet wood give. Pushing it away she ran into the church, hurrying straight for the alter.

Kneeling down before it she blessed herself and began to pray.

'_Dear God, please forgive Stephen for his sinful thoughts, he does not realise what he is doing. The others have polluted his mind. And forgive me for being so sinful. I only want to do right by you. I'm so scared Father, please help me.'_

Tears fell down Calista's cheeks, her wet hair clung to her face and her soaked clothes were forming a puddle around her. With her dripping form, and large belly, she did not look right in the scared house of a religion that did it's best to ignore the very idea of sexual acts. And Calista was aware of that.

"I'm not worthy to be here." she murmured to herself, "I am born of evil, I am a whore… I am nothing."

"Glad to see someone has it right." Calista twisted around to stare into dark brown eyes set in a handsome face. Her own eyes flew to the dagger in his hand. Caleb smirked and approached her slowly.

Calista struggled to stand, but her panic and the babies' weight made her fall back down with a soft cry. Caleb was now so close he was nearly on top of her. He seemed to be enjoying the moment.

Calista curled around her stomach, looking up at him pleadingly.

"Please. I beg you. Don't hurt me." she sobbed, "Don't hurt my babies."

"I do the Almighty's bidding and It wants you dead… whore." Caleb smirked even wider and Calista shivered.

Caleb raised the dagger, while his other hand grabbed Calista's neck and forced her to lean back, exposing her stomach.

"No!" she screamed, grabbing at his arm, trying to pry him off. Caleb swung the dagger down, straight to her stomach.

Calista screamed.

"You stupid bitch!" snarled Caleb, glaring down at his dagger, which was impaled through Calista's arm that she'd thrown out to try and stop him. With a furious growl he whipped the dagger out, making Calista whimper softly. Her arm fell uselessly to the side, broken and bleeding.

Staring down at it Calista watched her blood pour out of it, and a strange feeling roared up inside her. It was anger, a kind she'd never experienced before.

The blood that fell from her arm could easily have been her babies' blood. This monster was trying to kill her babies, trying to steal their life from them before their first breath.

Calista looked up at Caleb, her dark eyes like a storm at sea. Dangerous, powerful, uncontrolled.

"You shall not harm my children!" she hissed, getting to her feet. The anger was coursing through her, licking her veins like an unholy demon, and she felt stronger than she'd ever felt before.

"Who's gonna stop me?"

"I will." she said, her voice quiet but firm. Then she threw her uninjured hand out at him and a bolt of white energy flew out of her hand and sent Caleb flying away, to crash into the pews, shattering them. Calista didn't blink.

"So you wanna play hardball?" Caleb chuckled as he wiggled free of the wood.

"I'm done with games." said Calista, "I'm done with you chasing me, I'm done being afraid of hell, because I'm in it. And I'm done with letting my fear rule me."

Holding her hand out again, she summoned the dagger to her hand. Then, with skill she had not realised she had, she threw the dagger at Caleb, catching him in the throat before he could blink.

Caleb's hands flew to his neck, and he fell to his knees.

"You think that's all you need to defeat me?" he taunted, his voice gargled by blood, "I serve the First Evil. I cannot be stopped."

"Oh be quiet." she said, walking up to him and gripping his face. Caleb screamed as his skin began to burn. His skin was eaten away, first on his face and then slowly down his body. Soon all that was left was a bloody mess. And that was when Calista realised what she was doing.

Horrified, she let Caleb go and backed away, staring at her hands in horror. Then she looked up and around at the statues of The Virgin Mary, of St. Joseph, and of course of Jesus Christ on the crucifix. They all stared down at her with accusing eyes, as if they were saying _'How dare you defile the House of God. How dare you enter this sacred space, you, the spawn of evil who will produce more sin.' _

"Stop it! Stop it! My babies are not evil! They are not!" she screamed, clutching her head as she backed up to the alter. Her heels hit the step and she cried out as she fell over again. Curling up at the foot of the alter Calista cried, begging for forgiveness. Pleading for help. Terrified of what she was, terrified of what her mate had become, terrified of what their children might be.

* * *

"Where the hell is she?" Connor was on the verge of having a panic attack.

"Calm down Connor. Willow's almost done." Angel tried to calm his son down, with very little luck.

"Don't you realise she could have been attacked? Don't you realise she could be DEAD! Oh God!" Connor tore at his hair, his eyes wild with terror. Angel was at a loss at what to do.

"Panicking is not gonna help you know mini-pouf." said Spike in a firm tone. "We need to focus and stay calm. Otherwise you'll be no use to your girl." Connor swallowed hard and seemed to calm down. Angel narrowed his eyes in what may have been jealousy.

"Got it!" Willow smiled as she conjured a small light that floated about like a fairy. "This little guy should help us find Calista."

"Jeez Will. You're getting real comfy with the mojo again." said Xander raising an eyebrow.

"It's only a little locator spell." Willow shrugged, giving Xander a look that asked him to be quiet. Connor was too focused on Calista to ask.

"Can we go now?" he demanded.

"Yeah. We can."

The little light bobbed away, going out the door and Connor ran after it, not bothered to wait for the others. With a heavy sigh Angel followed, groaning as he was soaked through by the still heavy falling rain. The light didn't seem bothered.

Angel caught up with his son and grabbed his arm, "Connor, look I know you're worried, we all are, but you need to stay calm."

"How can I not worry? She's out there, all alone, nearly nine months pregnant-"

"Connor." Angel forced his son to stop and looked him in the eyes, "Look, maybe you should consider this before you make a judgement on Calista. She's spent nearly six months on her own in a world she has no understanding of, and dealing with the pregnancy doing all sorts of things to her emotions and body that she probably doesn't understand. She survived that and what's more she survived being chased by people trying to kill her. Doesn't that tell you something about her? Doesn't that tell you that she is stronger than you think."

Connor furrowed his brow, lowering his head. "You don't get it dad. You just don't get it." Connor pulled away and chased after the locator. Angel sighed to himself.

"Maybe when this is all over you and him should accidentally get locked in a room together and not find a way out until you've sorted this all out." said Buffy softly as she passed him. Angel couldn't help but smile at her joke. "I wasn't kidding."

"Come on! I think I know where she's gone." Connor called, hurrying past the locator. Spike grumbled to himself about 'mini-poufs' and chased after him, with Angel and Buffy bringing up the rear.

"Oh it figures!" Spike groaned as they stared up at the stone church that looked very out of place among the tall buildings of L.A. "Of course it would be a church."

Connor ran up the steps and shoved aside some of the broken wood.

"You think Calista did that?" asked Buffy as she approached.

"I'm hoping, because I don't want to think of what else could have done it if she's in here with it."

"Calista!" Connor ran down the aisle, throwing himself at the alter. Lying across the steps was Calista, covered in blood, soaking wet, and unmoving.

Connor slipped an arm around her shoulders and lifted her up so he was cradling her in his arms. Calista's head fell back, her eyes were open and glassy. "Oh God!" Connor felt tears in his eyes as he looked at her. Mercifully, his sharp hearing could pick up her heart beat, and as he held her to him he could feel the faint rise and fall of her chest.

Angel crouched beside him and stared down in horror. Buffy knelt on Calista's other side and one hand flew to her mouth.

"Oh god, look." She lifted Calista's arm, which had a hole through it. As Buffy handled the damaged limb Calista whimpered in pain, blinking and turning her head towards Connor. With her good hand she touched his cheek and murmured,

"How can something so beautiful be evil? How can those who want to do good be evil because of their birth? How do we escape hell Stephen? How do we get out?"

"I don't know Cal. I don't know." Connor said, tears trickling down his cheeks. Angel moved around Connor and cupped the back of Calista's head.

"Calista what happened?"

"The… preacher. He was here. I killed him." Calista began to cry, grabbing Angel's shirt with her good hand, "Get me out of here, please. I can't stay here."

"Calista, we're going to take you to the hospital, you need medical care for your arm."

Calista didn't say anything; she just stared up at Angel, stroked his face, and passed out.

"Spike! Connor!" The three of them quickly picked Calista up and lifted her. Buffy gingerly placed Calista's hurt arm on her stomach where it rested like a doll's. As she followed behind she paused as she spotted a charred body, dressed in a preacher's outfit. Although the blond slayer raised an eyebrow, she said nothing, only pulled out her cell and called Willow, asking her to get them a car.

* * *

The waiting room in the hospital was surprisingly empty considering all that was going on. Then again, maybe most of the people had either been killed or gotten out of the city.

Connor sat on a hard waiting room seat, his brow pressed to his linked hands, resting on his elbows. Angel sat beside him, occasionally squeezing the boy's shoulder. Buffy paced up and down in front of them, while Spike leaned against the wall. Gunn, who'd driven them, was getting some coffee.

Calista had been checked in almost straight away, and thus far they'd heard nothing of her condition. Connor had been agitated at first but after the first hour he'd gone still and quiet. He hadn't moved for a whole hour. Angel couldn't imagine what was going on through his head.

'_Trading one hell dimension for another.' _The words kept running through Angel's head. He'd said them to Connor when he'd found him with that girl Sunny in the druggie apartments. Little had Angel realised how true those words were to become.

"Calista Holtz's family?" asked a kind faced Latino doctor. "I'm Dr. Espinosa." Connor was on his feet at once.

"Is she ok?"

The doctor rechecked her file before speaking in a grave tone.

"I need to know how this occurred before I say anything else."

"Calista was being stalked by a crazy man, she can tell you that herself. He attacked her when she was in church, praying." Buffy said without batting an eyelid.

"Are you her sister?"

"No, I'm… a friend."

"The chit ain't got any family, she was an only kid, and her parents died six months ago in a fire." explained Spike, "We're all… family of Connor here, an' he's the father o' the kids she's got in her."

"I see. And you are?"

"I'm… I'm this lady's boyfriend, she's Connor's sister, and the guy with the massive forehead is the kid's brother." Spike gestured to Buffy and then to Angel. Neither of them said anything, they just nodded.

"Ok… well, Calista suffered severe trauma and blood loss. We've no record of her blood type so we're giving her O-negative for now. We've done what we can for her arm, sutured the muscles and skin and set the bone, putting it in a cast, but it's going to take a long time to heal."

"Can we see her?" Connor pressed.

"Not just yet. Physically Calista is healing, but I'm very concerned about her mental state. Has she had a history of mental illness, depression, hallucinations that sort of thing?"

"No."

"Does she or has she ever done drugs."

"No."

"Ok…" Dr. Espinosa folded her arms and regarded them with a stern eye. "Has Calista ever suffered any abuse? Some of her behaviour is consistent with someone who has been a victim of abuse." Connor was quiet for a moment and then said,

"Yes, she was, most of her life, by the man who raised her."

"Her step-father?"

"Yeah. I guess that's what you could call him." Connor swallowed.

"Do you know what kind of abuse?"

"Kind?"

"Mental, emotional, physical."

"All three. I- I know he would beat her sometimes, a-and he was always telling her things, like she was worthless and evil an- and stuff like that."

"Did Calista ever receive counselling for this?"

"No."

"Did you ever try to persuade her to go?"

"I… I didn't realise about the abuse until after the… the bastard died."

"So she was about three months pregnant by then, if her step-father died six months ago."

"Thereabouts. Yeah."

Angel put his hand on Connor's shoulder, squeezing it tight.

"What about after you found out? Did you try and convince her to go then?"

"N-no." Connor couldn't get the words out anymore and lowered his head. Angel spoke up,

"When Calista's parents died, we offered to take her in. She and Connor love each other and were going to raise the babies. But a few days later, she disappeared."

"She ran away?"

"Yeah. She only came back a few days ago."

"I live in Sunnydale." spoke up Buffy, "I didn't like living in L.A. But I knew Calista and last week I saw her wandering through the park, and managed to stop her and talk to her. I convinced her to come back, I thought it was the best thing for her and the babies."

"So between the time she ran away and the time she came back a man began stalking her?" Dr. Espinosa raised a dubious eyebrow. It was strange that although they weren't being completely truthful, the basic story was accurate, and yet it sounded completely unbelievable.

"A preacher who was very… conservative. He didn't approve of her being pregnant at such a young age and not being married. He… formed an obsession with her, which became very dangerous, at least… that's what she told us."

"I see." Dr. Espinosa sighed heavily. "Well, if what you say is true then that would explain an awful lot."

"Can we see her now?"

"You can, but don't do or say anything to upset her, and keep it short. That girl needs her sleep. We're going to keep her here over night."

"Yes doctor."

As Dr. Espinosa walked away, Gunn returned.

"Hey, what's the word?"

"We're going in to see her now."

"Cool, tell you what, why don't I give Wes a call and let the others know what's happening."

"Yeah, tell them Calista's stable now but they're keeping her here for the night, under observation."

"Cool."

Connor was already heading to the room, looking very nervous as he pushed the door open into Calista's room. Angel, Buffy and Spike followed him and crowded around the bed.

Calista was as white as paper and the sheets of the hospital made her seem paler. Her long blond hair was limp and messy, and her arm was in a large white cast. An IV was inserted into her hand and held there by a plaster. Her chest rose and fell in sleep and her huge belly was a mound under the blankets.

Connor reached out a hand and he stroked her cheek, barely brushing her skin. Still Calista stirred and her eyelids fluttered open.

"Stephen?" she murmured, her voice raspy.

"Here ducks, drink some water." said Spike, holding out a plastic cup with a straw. Ever obedient, Calista drank half the cup before she let the straw go. When she was done, her blue eyes were on Connor again.

"Where am I?"

"A hospital. You were badly hurt and they had to care for it."

"I remember… the preacher."

"We found him, extra crispy." said Buffy, holding Calista's good hand. Calista grimaced and tears filled her eyes.

"I didn't mean to do it. I didn't mean it!" she wailed, her voice still very faint. Connor stroked her face with great tenderness.

"It's ok. He was evil, he deserved to die."

"I murdered a man in the house of God! It's not ok!"

"Shh, Calista, calm down."

"I didn't mean it. I just got so angry at him for trying to hurt the babies and I was so angry that he scared me and… I just did it."

"Did what?"

"I don't know, I just remember the power, I just knew what to do. Oh God!" Calista pressed her hand to her forehead, looking horrified.

"Calm down Calista. You said it yourself, you have a power within you. Maybe it's beginning to show."

"I don't want it!" Calista shook her head, trying to sit up. Spike and Connor held her down. "I don't want this power, I don't want any of it."

"I know, but… we don't have a choice here."

"We?" Calista's eyes flashed as she looked up into Connor's eyes. "What we? When has it ever been we?"

"Cal-"

"No! It was never we. It was just me. I was on my own from the beginning. I was the only girl, I was the one left alone in a world I still don't understand. I am the one who has been carrying these babies and suffered for it! I have been beaten, spat at, ridiculed, assaulted and all because of you! All because you got me pregnant! I was never given the choice! I was never given an option. I didn't want to get pregnant, but you didn't even stop to think about that."

"You could have said no."

"I did! I said no and you never listened to me! I told you I didn't want it to happen, because I knew what would happen if Daniel ever found out. You didn't care! You never cared!" Calista was crying so hard she could barely get the words out and Connor was backing away from her with a look of pure horror on his face. "I hate you! I hate you! Get out!" Calista screamed. Connor bolted, disappearing around a corner before anyone could even call him back. Calista curled up and sobbed into the pillow, shaking with her sobs. Buffy rubbed her arms and stroked her hair, trying to sooth her. Spike glared after Connor as if he had half a mind to go beat the boy up. Angel glared at his grand-childe, daring him to try.

"I think you should leave." said Dr. Espinosa, striding into the room.

"We just-"

"Now." The doctor gestured to the door, her voice and expression warning them. Buffy's face set and she gently kissed the top of Calista's head before she left. Calista just sobbed.

* * *

Poor guys. What'll happen next? Review and you'll fine out.

Night's Darkness


	10. Within the moment

Sorry it's been so long but these last few chapters are critical and they've been an absolute bitch to write! I've rewritten them like 10 times!

Anyway, thanks a million to all my reviewers and readers.

XxxFIVEbyFIVExxX: I promise Angel/Buffy angst is on the way, but at the moment the opportunity has not presented itself. Scouts honour that there will be some soon.

mendenbar: Without the psychotics, there would be no story! Lol

btvsfifi: As I said above, more Buffy/Angel will be on the way. I'm not sure what you meant by 'isn't Calista meant to reunite' although I might not have gotten all the review so that would explain my confusion.

Sarah: I don't like Calista hating Connor either, but the way things are at the moment… would you not hate him? lol. Don't worry. I don't plan on keeping it this way forever.

Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 10**

"I'd better go after him." Angel made as if to leave the hospital but Buffy grabbed his arm and pulled him back.

"Angel you should stay here with Calista. She'll need you more."

"But, I can't just let him go."

"We'll go after Connor. Right now I think someone needs to confront him, make him face up to what he's done."

"Connor would never-"

"And Calista wouldn't lie, you know that."

"I-"

"Angel. You need to face that your son raped the woman he's claiming to love." Buffy's face was hard, her mouth tight. Angel winced at the word 'raped'. "We'll get Connor, you stay with Calista, if something happens and she needs to get out, you'll know what to do better than us, you know the best ways to get back to the hotel, you know L.A. better than us."

"I… ok." Angel lowered his head in defeat, "But Buffy, please don't be hard on him, I know it's not as it seems."

"Seems to me your brat of a son can't keep himself in his pants!" snarled Spike, his blue eyes flashing with fury.

"Don't you presume to know anything about it Spike!" retorted Angel, whirling around to face his grand-childe. Buffy sighed to herself,

"Look the two of you, you can BS each other all day when this apocalypse is over but until then you're to get along!"

Both vampires opened their mouths to protest but Buffy pointed a dagger sharp finger at them, her eyes daring them to speak. With almost identical grunts they backed off. "Good. Now come on Spike, we'll find Connor and bring him back to the hotel."

"Maybe we can stick him in that cage with Skippy down there."

"You-!"

"Angel!" Buffy glared at him, clearly not opposed to the idea. "Go and watch over Calista! We're going now." With that the blonde slayer stalked off, blonde vampire in tow. As she walked Buffy pulled out her cell and called the hotel, requesting Willow to do a locator spell on a map and see where Connor was headed. Meanwhile Spike grabbed the keys for the car off Gunn.

They got into the car and Spike started up the ignition. "Where to luv?"

"Willow's working on it, but Fred's saying something about the ocean…"

* * *

Connor ran and ran through the pouring rain, no idea where he was going, his only thought being that he just had to run. But Calista's words and her expression of loathing kept pace with him.

Soon he found himself at the beach. Running into the ocean he threw himself under the surface of the water and allowed the tumultuous waves to toss him around. Still Calista's face continued to torment him. Her frightened eyes as he held her down and kissed her lips, her cry of pain as he took her virginity, the only thing she'd ever had that gave her some measure of pride in many ways, and the betrayed look on her face as Connor said it was her seduction of him that caused her to be pregnant.

'_I love you Calista! I do! I do!' _he sobbed as his lungs began to strain for air. _'I never wanted this. I never wanted to hurt you. I love you so much.'_

Suddenly he was grabbed by the scruff of the neck and dragged out of the water.

"Stupid bastard!" snarled a British voice as the owner of it threw Connor onto the sand. Connor coughed and spluttered as he brought up seawater. "What the bloody hell do you think you're doing? Running away? Trying to escape the truth! You coward."

"All right! Yes, I was, I was trying to escape, but only because I can't stand myself for what I've done! I hate myself for doing all that to her, for allowing Holtz to beat her. I hate the fact I grew up thinking it was ok. I hate that I grew up thinking that if Holtz could beat me, then he could beat her. I know what I've done was wrong and I hate myself for it all." Connor was sobbing, kneeling in the sand, staring up at Spike who was glaring down at him, with Buffy standing beside him, her arms across her chest, a furious look on her face.

The blond vampire was soaked to the bone, his beloved duster discarded away from the saltwater so it wouldn't be damaged. Buffy's hair was hanging around her face and shoulders in a matted mess. Still, they looked far more powerful than Connor had ever felt.

"You raped her!" snarled Spike, sounding disgusted.

"I didn't mean to I swear, I wasn't thinking. You have no idea what it's like to be all alone in a hell dimension with only your elderly father who beats and berates you and someone as beautiful and kind as Calista for company. You have no idea how hard it is to resist the things you want so much. I wanted her so much. She's so beautiful, she's so loving, I just wanted that from her so much. Father hated me for being Angel's son, for not being his son Angelus killed. Calista would show me such care no matter what I did and I just wanted more of it. I needed it."

"You think that's an excuse?" Spike still looked furious, but he seemed to be calming a little. Buffy's mouth tightened, her eyes narrowing.

"No! I know it isn't an excuse, I just… I just couldn't stop myself. I should never have forced her, I know that, but I was always told a woman was only there to serve a man and rear children. We both believed that. I know that's not an excuse either but I didn't know what to do… I was scared of myself, scared of how much I wanted her. It's a sin to feel such desire. I just wanted it to stop. I wanted her so badly, I'd have done anything to have her. I'd have slaughtered every demon in Quor-Toth to have her in my arms and so I could… I'm sorry Calista! I'm so sorry." Connor fell forwards, crumpled up. He clawed at the sand as he sobbed, broken completely. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I love you. I love you… I love you so much."

Spike and Buffy stared down at him, unmoving for a long time, until Connor stopped crying and just knelt there in the sand. Then Spike grabbed his duffle coat and walked up to the boy and pulled him to his feet. Connor was limp and so Spike had to sling one of Connor's bony arms over his shoulders and put an arm around his slim waist. Like this they walked to the car and Buffy followed them, her arms tight around herself, as if she was protecting herself from something she couldn't fight.

Spike pushed Connor with care into the back seat and Connor slumped against the door. Then Spike got into the driver's seat and, once Buffy was in the car, he drove the car back to the hotel.

* * *

Angel paced around, his eyes flicking to Calista's room every few minutes. The blinds weren't shuttered so he could see her sleeping on the hospital bed, her head tossing and turning as she dreamed.

'_Connor raped Calista. My son raped his only companion. My son raped someone.' _This train of thoughts was travelling around Angel's head, spiralling out of control. Closing his eyes he saw Connor before him. Angel took in the boy, noting the way he stood just like Angel did, how his defensive stance was the exact same as Angel's. Angel also noted how Connor's smirk and sneer were much more like Angelus than Angel. Connor's cat-like, fluid movements were quick and deadly, while Angel was more solid, packing a large amount of strength behind his punches. In this way, Connor was more like his mother, or, God forbid, Spike. Spike was the quick one. Angel was the solid one.

There was one thing about Connor that was entirely his own. His eyes. Sure they were Darla's colour and Angel's shape, but they were his. They were full pain, full of sadness, full of confusion, full of need. Need for love, need for understanding, need for comfort.

Calista had offered it to him. Angel knew that. She'd probably been his only source of it. So why would Connor do something so horrendous as force himself on her?

Then Angel remembered the look on Connor's face when Calista had screamed at him. That was not the look of someone who'd raped another. Angel had seen that, Angel knew that. So why did Calista say he did?

Angel's first instinct was that Calista was lying. But he was quick to dismiss it. Lying was considered a sin. Calista was clearly obsessed with sinning, something that was no doubt thanks to Holtz, so she wouldn't willingly commit a sin.

But that meant Connor had raped her and that didn't sit right with Angel either. So… was there a middle ground? Was it possible for Calista to be telling the truth but without it being true?

Angel groaned and rubbed his brow. Even the question contradicted itself.

Taking another tactic, Angel tried to put himself in Connor's shoes, tried to get in his head, but he couldn't. There was just no way to get into Connor's head, he was too closed off and besides, what it must have been like for him in Quor-Toth was unimaginable.

"I might be able to help."

Angel nearly jumped out of his skin as a soft voice spoke in his ear. For a second he thought he was looking at Connor, but quickly took in the dark veins and eyes and odd clothes and recognised him.

"You're that guy from before. You're the one who stopped Calista from giving birth."

"Connacht. My name is Connacht. And no it is not a coincidence that I both look and have a name similar to your son and no I was not named after the province. It's actually the other way around."

"… I see." Angel looked him up and down, noting how Connacht was thicker than Connor, who was so skinny it was bordering on eating disorder. Connacht had meat on his bones, with broader shoulders and he was taller. Oddly enough, no one was looking at the man who could have passed for a Lord of the Rings fanatic that was standing in the hospital corridor.

Connacht must have noticed the way Angel glanced around because he said, "Oh don't worry, I'm here. I've just set a spell that, if people look at us, their eyes slid to somewhere else. Just like the Leaky Cauldron in Harry Potter!" Connacht grinned, but Angel was blank faced. "Oh never mind. As I said before, I can help you."

"With what?"

"You said you wanted to understand Connor, you wanted to get in his head. So I can help you do that."

"I never said that."

"You were thinking it and since I'm a millennia old spirit with a history and powers you've never even dreamt about while high, I can in fact read your mind despite the fact that most telepaths can't read vampire minds."

"Why should I trust you?"

"Because why shouldn't you?"

"It's better to not trust people than to trust them."

"Funny, Connor thinks that way too. Could explain why he wasn't as eager to be around you in the beginning of his return as you were around him."

Angel drew in a breath, remembering quite vividly how Connor had seemed repelled but fascinated by his presence. Suddenly that made a bit more sense and Angel silently berated himself for not realising it. Connacht waved his hand in the air. Angel noticed his long fingers ended in sharp nails. And he noticed how Connacht's teeth were like vampire teeth, sharp, pointed. Despite looking like a human at first glance, Connacht had a decidedly demonic appearance.

"I was wondering how long it would take you to start noticing." Connacht was grinning, baring his very sharp teeth. His eyes were like black stone, warm black stone, if that made any sense, and his white skin was luminescent.

"What are you?" Angel's voice was low and full of burning questions.

Connacht grinned. "I'm a child of two vampires, just like Connor. Only difference is I'm about… let's see now, 173,993,073 years old, give or take a few months. By this point you generally stop counting the months."

"And you don't look the same as Connor."

"Well neither do you vampires compared to our parents. And anyway, that can all be told later. It'll save me repeating myself. Right now you want to understand what was going on through Connor's mind when he… raped/made love to Calista."

"Can that actually be possible?" Angel scrunched his face up. Connacht shrugged.

"In a way yes. See, he wasn't trying to hurt her… look, if you let me I'll let you feel what he felt and think what he was thinking and it'll be much easier to understand."

"Do I really want to know?"

"Connor needs someone to understand it, and no one will unless they experience it. Even Connor doesn't truly understand it because, thanks to a certain Queen C, his memories are all addled and he's not getting the full story."

"Why do you care?"

"Because I care about Connor and I care about Calista and they need each other. I know right not that doesn't look likely, but I'm telling you. They need each other. If Calista wants to be able to access her power, then she'll need Connor. You can't tell them that though because it's one of those things that they need to find out for themselves."

"Ok… um… will I see…?"

Connacht smiled at Angel in a fond way, "No. You won't see anything that'll make you want to wash and/or gouge your eyes out. It'll be more, you'll think the same thoughts he had that day, you'll feel what he felt, that sort of thing."

"Ok, good, then… do it, I guess."

"You sure?"

"Yeah, I am. I gotta know."

"Ok then. Close your eyes." Angel stared at Connacht hard, but his instincts told him he would be ok, so he closed his eyes. Connacht's hands pressed against the sides of his head, holding it with surprising gentleness, "Yeesh! How much gel do you use? I feel like I just stuck my hands in cold chip fat! Yuk."

Angel's eyes snapped opened and he glared at Connacht who gave him an apologetic look and closed his eyes. Angel did the same.

_The next thing Angel knew he was breathing in hot air that burned his lungs, and he was covered in sticky blood as he gripped onto the demon that was above him, crushing it's windpipe. It seemed to take forever for the damned creature to die, and when it did it collapsed on top of him. Trembling, Angel shoved the creature away from him and got to his feet. _

_Staring down at the carcass, Angel wondered if things would ever stop being this way, if he'd ever go one day without being covered in blood, whether it was his own or some demons, or Calista's. _

_Calista. Angel's stomach did weird somersaults whenever he thought about her. The way she smiled, the way her hands would rub over her thighs as she tried to warm herself, the way one curve would lead to another when he stared at her. _

_Angel shook his head, trying to get these thoughts out of his head, knowing they were dirty and evil, but he couldn't help but think them. They were plaguing him. The harder he pushed them away, the harder they pushed back, becoming more and more lurid. Suddenly he was thinking of the time he'd secretly followed her out of the cave when she'd gone to change into a new shirt she'd made._

_As the memory of her bare back, stark white against the black and brown rock, came into his mind Angel almost felt weak with a need to see it again, to go and grab Calista and crush her to him, to lose himself in her body. Angel wanted her. More than anything he wanted her. _

_Feeling sick with himself, Angel looked at the carcass, forcing himself to think about it in as minute detail as possible until he felt the need subside into nausea. When that was done he grabbed the carcass and half dragged it, half carried it back to the cave. _

_As Angel arrived at the mouth of the cave there was the unmistakable sound of a slap and a soft shriek of pain. Angel's stomach clenched. Father had hit Calista again. She must have done something wrong. Sometimes Angel wondered if Father needed to hit Calista as often as he did. Half the time the mistakes she made happened were because she was nervous of being hit and more liable to make a mistake. _

"'Women need to be shown a firm hand son, otherwise they'll be out of control and we can't have that.'" _Father's words echoed in his head over the silence that always followed an act of violence from Father. Angel swallowed and called out,_

"_Father, Calista! I've got something for dinner." _

_Calista came out at once. The left side of her face was red, but she wouldn't bruise. It had only been a light slap. _

"_Oh Stephen it's brilliant!" Calista smiled at him and Angel's stomach clenched again, this time in a queasy kind of way. Did she realise how much that smile affected him? "Let's get it inside before it attracts others." Standing by his side she helped him drag the carcass into the cave. At one point her leg brushed against his and Angel nearly dropped the carcass as a shock went through him. "Stephen?" _

_Calista was staring at him, concern etched in her face. Oh, how Angel wanted to cover that face with his lips and make the concern go away. He wanted to see her eyes light up when he held her and touched her in just the right way. It was so beautiful. _

"_I'm fine Calista." he said, "I'm just… a little tired. It was a hard day." _

_Calista nodded, her eyes flicking to Father, who sat by the father, looking grim and morose, as usual. It was almost like Calista wanted to say that she had had a hard day too, spending it with Father. Angel felt sorry for her in a way, but envious too. At least Calista wasn't out there fighting every day, training to kill the creature that spawned her, the creature that had murdered her Father's family. _

"_I'll get started on dinner, shall I?" Calista smiled. It looked rather forced. Angel nodded, his eyes fixed on the fire, where they had jumped to when they had fallen down to Calista's body, raking it before he'd managed to look away. _

_Feeling sick again, Angel sat by the fire, his hands clenched as he tried not to look at Calista. It was hard! Everything she did seemed to be alluring, seemed to make his need grow. Was this what Father had meant about women being nothing but seducing whores? But Angel was confused. The way Father had put it made it sound like women deliberately tried to seduce good, honest men, who did the work of God. But nothing Calista did was out of the ordinary, nothing she did seemed to be trying to deliberately make him feel the way he did. In fact it was as if she was oblivious to it. _

_An anger flared up in Angel. He was angry that Calista was doing this to him and didn't seem to know or care. The anger fuelled the need and he suddenly wanted nothing more than to grab her and rip her clothes off her and obey the screaming voice in his head. _

_Angel's fists were so tight he was close to drawing blood. All his attention was focused on the woman kneeling by the carcass, her brow knotted in a frown as she cut off some meat and began to prepare it for dinner. _

"_Stephen?" she asked when Angel didn't look away as she turned to cook the meat in the fire. "Are you all right?" _

"_Why don't you just keep your mouth shut and get on with it!" snapped Father. Calista ducked her head and she began to work faster, but Angel noticed that she was fumbling with the food. She was nervous. And all the anger just left Angel's body. _

_The need didn't go away in the slightest, but he no longer wanted to attack her for making him feel this way. Rather, he wanted to wrap his arms around her and hold her to him, kiss her neck and touch her gently. _

_Calista looked up for a moment and Angel caught her eye and smiled a little at her. Her lips didn't move but her eyes seemed to smile back.

* * *

_

_Angel felt like he was losing his mind. Calista was in his head and he was being plagued by dreams of her. He'd just woken up from one where he'd been running through Quor-Toth, being chased by the faceless demon that was the creature that had spawned him, when he ran into a cave to hide and Calista had been waiting for him, with only a smile on her face and nothing else. Her arms had been open for him and Angel had fallen into them, only to wake up just before they touched. _

_As Angel lay there he knew he couldn't keep this up. At some point he was going to lose his control and pounce. Looking over at Calista, he knew he couldn't let that happen. He didn't want her to look at him like she looked at Daniel. So he made up his mind. _

_He got to his feet and walked over to Calista, shaking her awake. Almost at once she was alert. Angel took Calista's hand and led her away, out of the cave. When he was satisfied they were far enough away he quickly began to kiss her, like he did every time. When Calista tried to stop him, like she always did, he grunted in annoyance, because he didn't want to stop touching and kissing her, and because he was afraid. If he didn't stop the need now, if he didn't obey it now, when he still had a chance of controlling himself, then next time he might not be able to stop himself, no matter what. _

_As Angel stared at Calista he knew what was worrying her, but instead of sounding reassuring he came out sounding annoyed. _

_When he finally managed to get them on the ground, he was quick to say what he knew would work to make her stop fighting him, because he knew that if he tried to stop himself now, he'd just lose complete control and he didn't want to hurt her. Wasn't it better to trick her a little than to risk hurting her in such a terrible way? The confusion and fear in her eyes made him want to cry, because all he wanted to do was make her smile. _

_The need roared inside him and he had to fight with himself harder than ever not to just take what he wanted so much. He wanted to be surrounded by her, he wanted to be embraced by her, because it would be the only time when something other than hatred, pain and despair would be a part of him. _

_As Angel kissed her again he felt her relax a little under him and he couldn't fight it anymore. The only thing that tainted his bliss was the cry of pain that came out of her mouth into his… _

Angel's eyes snapped open and met Connacht's but before he could get a word out, Calista sat up with a jolt. She was crying and struggling to breath!

* * *

Reviews are always appreciated!

Night's Darkness


	11. Evil and Angelcake

Omg, I'm really sorry this took me so long but I wasn't sure what was happening and only today did I have the epiphany that gave me the idea of where this is going. Hopefully the next chapter won't be as long to be updated.

Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 11**

_Calista stood on the edge of a great cliff that seemed to never end as it descended into total darkness. Looking up she saw a blood red sky, which crackled with purple lightning every few minutes. _

"_So this is Quor-Toth." _

_Calista whipped around and came face to face with a woman she'd only seen in the vision the seer had given her. Taking in the smouldering chocolate brown eyes, and the caramel skin and the beauty of the face, she could see why Stephen had been so entranced by the woman. _

"_Cordelia?"_

"_The one and only." 'Cordelia' smirked, looking Calista up and down, "So this is the slut who stole my dark warrior from me. You're even plainer than I thought you'd be." _

_Calista flushed a delicate pink and couldn't help but lower her eyes in shame. She stared at her stomach which was actually touching Cordelia's equally large one. Cordelia reached out a graceful hand and lifted Calista's top to expose the skin of her stomach. Then she began to grope at it in a manner that made Calista try to step away, but the edge of the precipice prevented her from going anywhere. _

"_Stop!" Calista slapped Cordelia's hand away. Cordelia gave her a cruel smirk, _

"_Who's gonna stop me? You whore? You couldn't even keep Connor's hands off you and I'm far more powerful than him." _

"_Stop calling me that!"_

"_Why not. It's what you are, isn't it?" _

"_It is, isn't it Calista." sneered a soft, gravelled voice. Calista's blood went cold. From behind Cordelia appeared Daniel Holtz. "Admit it. Admit what you are." _

"_I… I'm not a whore. I'm not."_

"_Oh, sure you are sweetie." smiled Cordelia, stroking her stomach in what would have been a comforting gesture if she hadn't lacked any warmth. Calista was shaking as Cordelia produced a dagger and slipped it behind the material of her top, pressing the flat part against her chest. "You couldn't wait to get Connor on top of you. You wanted it."_

"_I didn't. I didn't." _

"_Yes you did. If you really hadn't wanted it then why did it happen." smirked Holtz_

_Cordelia's free hand cupped Calista's jaw, lifting her chin slightly. "You wanted it, you're filthy. You don't deserve forgiveness from God. You will be cast into the deepest pits of hell."_

"_Please no! I tried to be good, I try to be good, I want to be good."_

"_Hell is calling my dear." crowed Holtz as the chasm burst into flames. Calista screamed as Cordelia spun her around and pressed the edge of her dagger to Calista's pale neck. Calista stared down into the fire and watched as people screamed and writhed in agony as the flames licked their skin. "Time to join your brethren."_

"_Enjoy your trip." hissed Cordelia in Calista's ear. Then she pushed Calista into the flames!

* * *

_

Calista sat up unable to breath, with tears streaming down her cheeks. Something hard was pressed over her mouth and she was told to breath deeply. Obeying, she could feel her lungs struggling to match the pace she was trying to set. After about a minute she began to breath normally and the mask was taken away.

Calista lay back, shaking as she looked around the hospital room. She felt sick to her stomach but she refused to throw up, so she forced the bile back down. So intent on herself was she that Calista didn't notice Angel by her side until he touched her shoulder.

"Feeling better?" he asked in a soft voice. Angel had large brown eyes that carried a world of sadness in their depths, and at the moment they were very soft and tender as he stared down at her.

Calista nodded, then pointed at the water cup. Angel held it for her as she drank.

"Thank you." she whispered

"Your welcome." Angel fidgeted with the sheets of the bed before he said, "Do you want to talk about it? Your dream I mean."

"I'd rather not."

"Ok, it's just… it can help to talk about these things. You can talk to me Calista."

"Can I? Can I really? You're Ste-Connor's father and you're a vampire. Both those things seem to tell me that I can't talk to you."

"You can. I promise. I may be Connor's father but that doesn't mean I'll just take his side if he's in the wrong. Yes, it's true I'll love him and support him no matter what, but I won't turn the other cheek to bad things he's done. As for the vampire thing… well… have I given you any indication that I'll hurt you?"

"No. No you haven't." Calista licked her lips. "I was dreaming about Cordelia and Daniel… they taunted me, calling me a whore, and then Cordelia pushed me into the fiery pits of hell." She shuddered.

"Scary." Angel murmured, stroking her hair. "But it wasn't real. Cordelia won't touch you, Holtz is dead and gone, and you are not a whore Calista."

"If I really hadn't wanted it I would have been able to stop Stephen. And besides, the Old Testament states that even a virgin who is truly raped, must have consented if she was raped in a city because otherwise people would have heard her screams. I'm just lucky Daniel didn't stone me. So if that's the case for that… I must be a whore."

"Calista… how are we going to make you see that you are not a whore? How are we supposed to show you the truth."

"Women are by nature evil. I know that, but I do try to be good."

"Women are NOT evil because they are women! That's a stupid old tale spun by a bunch of frustrated celibates who, because they weren't getting any, took their anger out on all women!" Angel said, his voice leaving no room for arguments. "Calista the Bible wasn't written by God. It was written by men! Men who grew up in societies that promoted the subjugation of women or had other issues. Look at Peter!"

"St. Peter was a good man who warned us of the divine evilness of the flesh and told us that we must not indulge it."

"Calista he was a bow-legged, hunchbacked old man who hated his own body and so declared war on the human body."

"How do you know? You're just a vampire!"

"Maybe but I'm a vampire who happens to read." Calista winced at the mention of reading and Angel remembered her earlier mention of her lack of literacy. "These days people are pulling the Bible apart and analysing the men who wrote it. It's all coming out now! It's thanks to men like that that the witch burnings took place."

"Witches are the devil's closest whores, they must be stopped or else they would rain down their evil upon us all."

"Does Willow seem evil to you? She can hardly say boo to a goose. And lots of the women burned and hung for witchcraft were midwives who knew how to ease child labour."

"Labour pains are Eve's punishment for taking of the forbidden fruit."

"What, because Eve ate it first she gets to suffer in child birth, condemning all women to the same fate, along with their subjugation by men and get banished while Adam just gets a slap on the wrist and banishment?" Angel was reaching his wits end as he tried to make Calista understand that her gender didn't make her evil. It was just too clear she'd been brainwashed by Holtz to believe all this stuff. In the end Holtz had believed it himself, not necessarily because he was cruel or enjoyed it, but because it was a deeply ingrained in his society and faith. Angel, still shaky from his experience with Connacht, couldn't handle it all.

"She gave into Satan first, she was more easily swayed."

"That- oh listen to me!" Angel gripped her thin shoulders very tight and said, giving her little shakes as he spoke, "Forget everything Holtz ever told you about men, women and all that other stuff, just forget it. It's all lies. It's all foolishness."

"Excuse me, what's going on here?" Dr. Espinosa stared at Angel hard, and Angel let Calista go. Calista turned her head away from him. "May I have a word with you…?"

"Angel. Liam Angel."

"Ok, Liam Angel, a word please?"

Angel walked out of the room and Dr. Espinosa shut the door. "What the hell do you think you're doing? This girl has suffered severe trauma and you're treating her with aggression?"

"She needs to get it through her head. Look, the man who raised her, he brainwashed her into believing all sorts of nonsense, stuff that belongs with witch burnings. She thinks being a girl makes her evil."

"Really?" Dr. Espinosa looked livid. Apparently Angel had been lucky enough to have a feminist doctor. "Well… aggressive behaviour will not help her, if anything it'll make her more stubborn, so let it go for now. Once she goes into counselling, these kinds of things can be dealt with."

"Counselling? You really think she needs it?"

"Mr. Angel, let me put it to you this way. We have a girl who is afraid to be touched by people she doesn't know, has suffered severe trauma much of her life and according to you, has been brainwashed into believing that she deserves to go to hell because she is a woman. She'll probably be in counselling for the rest of her life and I wouldn't be surprised if she suffers from Post-Natal Depression once she's delivered the babies. And yes, Post-Natal Depression does indeed exist."

"I never said it didn't."

"I know, but I've had more than one man come in here and say it doesn't and won't allow their wives to take anti-depression pills because of it. I swear that cult will be the death of me."

"I'm afraid I don't really know what you're talking about."

"Then never mind, just in case I inadvertently lead you into it, forget I said anything." The doctor smiled. "I'd leave her to rest now. She's still recovering from having her arm impaled, remember?"

"Yeah, ok. I'm gonna stay around, in case she needs anything."

"Ok, but don't crowd up the place."

"You won't even know I'm here."

* * *

"How long has he been like this?" asked Wesley as he checked Connor's pulse.

"About… twenty minutes. Won't move unless you direct him." Spike stared down at the boy, trying hard not to feel sorry for him. But Connor looked incredibly pathetic, lying there on the bed, his head turned to the side, his eyes dull and sad, and utterly unmoving. It was hard to believe that this same boy had been called The Destroyer of Quor-Toth.

"You said he just… shut down."

"Yeah… he was crying and yelling and then shut down." Spike shrugged.

"Well I have no idea how to bring him out of it, he's not responding to anything I've tried."

"Maybe he just needs time." offered Dawn, who was hovering by the doorway. "You know, like shock."

"Connor couldn't have picked a worse time to go catatonic on us. He's one of the best fighters in the hotel." worried Fred.

"Agreed, but what can we do?"

"Should I call Angel? He should know."

"Yes, Dawn, please do that." Dawn quickly hurried down to the lobby. "Why didn't Angel go after Connor? Why did you two follow him?"

"We thought it would be best if Angel stayed with Calista, he knows L.A better, so if he had to get Calista out of the hospital quick, he'd know what to do better than either of us."

"Besides, we figured it'd be better if the brat was confronted by someone other than his dad. Peaches wouldn't be able to handle it." sneered Spike.

"Or Angel would have been able to stop Connor from going like this." Wesley's tone was very clipped.

"How can you not be angry with him for what he did?" asked Buffy, looking sick.

"Because although I have no chance of truly imagining or understanding what it was like in Quor-Toth for them, I can empathise with their situation. I don't think there's a single man out there who would be able to say they wouldn't have felt or acted the way Connor did in the exact same situation. I'm not saying that makes it right, but I am saying that he deserves understanding. Just as Calista needs compassion and care, so does Connor. He's suffered too. They are both victims of a vengeance driven man, a demon out to save his own skin and some very foolish humans." Wesley's hand twitched towards his neck, where a long scar marked it.

Buffy shifted, her arms folded across her chest, her eyes flicking to Giles. Giles removed his glasses and polished them as he said, "Buffy, one of the commonest occurrences in history where humans are involves, is that if both a male and a female are suffering the female will suffer twice as much, because the male will take his anger out on her rather than the cause of the suffering, for whatever reason that may be."

"I highly doubt Connor was deliberately trying to hurt her Giles." said Wes.

"I know that, but I'm simply saying, due to Daniel Holtz's… unorthodox teachings, Calista grew up seeing herself as, by her very gender, evil and unworthy, and Connor wouldn't be immune to the teachings. To him Daniel Holtz's word was law. It's all very well for you to be angry with him Buffy, but you grew up in a world where your parents were loving and you were allowed to form your own opinions of right, wrong and the middle ground. Connor and Calista were never given that. So if one must be angry at anyone, perhaps you should focus it on Holtz."

Buffy swallowed as she tried to get her head around the horror that was being laid out before her. She'd been to a hell dimension once, and had never forgotten it, but this… this made her trip look like a bad vacation. Shaking her head, the blonde slayer walked out of the room and down to the lobby. There Dawn was on the phone, trying to calm Angel down,

"Angel, he's not hurt, he's just a bit out of it. No, you should stay with Calista, she needs the protection more. Yes, I'll call you if anything happens. Good or bad. I promise. Bye."

Dawn hung up with a sigh.

"Everything ok at the hospital."

"He mentioned something about wanting to bring Holtz back to life so he could torture him for causing Connor and Calista so much pain. Apparently he had a bit of an argument with Calista and is mightily pissed."

"What kind of argument?"

"Something about women being evil, I don't know, he was kinda muttering and rambling to himself."

Buffy felt her blood run cold as she realised Wes and Giles had been right. Calista did believe Holtz's teachings. The slayer felt like she was going to be sick. Dawn gave her sister a sad look.

"This whole thing is pretty twisted."

"More than I think we know."

* * *

Andrew sat in the kitchen, doing his best to avoid the commotion outside, his nose in a cookbook. This was how Anya found him when she came in searching for food.

"Shouldn't you be cooking?"

"There's nothing to cook with." said Andrew indignantly. "If someone had remembered to grab some food while they were out clothes shopping for the mummy to be then I could have whipped up a Quiche by now!"

"Oh well, we would have, but I didn't fancy being in the presence of the Son of Angelus for more time than was necessary, so food shopping was vetoed."

"I thought he was Angel's son."

"From the sounds of things, he's more likely to be the Devil's son."

"The Devil's son is called Damien."

"That's the Anti Christ!"

"Oh… my bad." Andrew hid behind his cookbook to hide his blush.

"Anyway, if I had my powers back I'd be making that boy suffer right now for everything he's done. Raping Calista, Boinking Cordelia, inflicting offspring on them both-"

"I thought that was why Cordelia slept with him and that Calista was happy about the babies."

"Yes well, that explains Cordelia, but Calista is a naïve little girl who doesn't have a clue about what it's like to be a parent to one, let alone two. Trust me, once she's had them, if the birth doesn't put her off them, then the sheer stress and demanding of the babies will put her off them for life."

"Well, that's not really her fault."

"No I know, it's Connor's fault."

"Well, why is it his fault? Why isn't it that other guy's fault? Holt?"

"Holtz. His name is Holtz."

"Yeah, him. Isn't it all his fault."

"Well, I suppose it is, but then again he was a vengeance driven maniac that wanted to get back at Angelus for murdering his family."

"So… doesn't it technically make it Angelus' fault that Calista is uneducated?"

Anya narrowed her eyes at him, "Look, unless you have something useful to say I'm ordering you to return to your cookbook." Andrew disappeared again, but not before muttering,

"Sounds like you're taking this pretty personally."

"Hey! I am not!"

"Oh really? Since you found out Calista's boyfriend or whatever Connor is to her, betrayed her with another woman, you've been moaning about how if you had your powers you'd teach him a lesson and make him suffer, etc cetera, etc cetera."

"What's your point?"

"I don't know… but I get the feeling you not only really like Calista, but you were cheated on at some point in your life." Andrew was grinning and Anya was glaring.

"That is none of your business, and for the record I don't like Calista! She's… she's… too nice! And holy. I mean, who wants a holier than thou girl telling them that they're evil!"

"You like her." Andrew grinned.

"Careful Chihuahua or I might just do to you what Darth Vader did to Obi Wan Kinobi."

Andrew stared at Anya for a moment before saying in a dreamy voice, "You are the perfect woman."

Anya smiled, "I've often thought so." The blonde ex-demon began to go through the cupboards, searching for food and pouting when she came up empty. Andrew watched her carefully from over the top of his cookbook.

At last he said, "It's gonna be bad, isn't it?"

Anya paused and turned to face him, the corners of her mouth turned down. "Yeah."

"So how come you're here? I mean, you could just go." It was something that had been bothering Andrew for a while now. As far as he could see there was no need for Anya to stick around, no real loyalties, no family, nothing very obvious that told him explicitly why she was staying with Buffy and the others.

"Yeah, I did once before." admitted Anya, frowning a little.

"Before what?"

"Well...there was this other apocalypse... this one time, and... well, I took off. But this time, I don't...I don't know."

Andrew sighed to himself, setting aside the book. "Well… what's different?"

Anya screwed the corner of her mouth into her cheek as she thought. Her brow had a knot in it between her eyes.

Well...I guess I was...kinda new to bein' around humans before. But now I've... seen a lot more, gotten to know people... seen what they're capable of, and.… I guess I just realized...how amazingly screwed-up they all are. I mean really, really screwed-up in a monumental fashion."

"Oh." Not the answer Andrew had been expecting. Then again, Anya was one of those people who continuously defied convention. Anya wasn't done. Her voice and speed picked up as she spoke,

"And they have no purpose that unites them, so they just drift around, blundering through life until they die...which they...they know is coming, yet every single one of them is surprised when it happens to them." A shudder seemed to pass through her at that. "They're incapable of thinking about what they want beyond the moment. They kill each other, which is clearly insane. And yet, here's the thing. When it's something that really matters, they fight. I mean, they're lame morons for fighting, but they do. They never... never quit. So I guess I will keep fighting, too."

Anya shrugged, clearly unable to truly explain herself. Andrew guessed he would never get a straight answer from such a complex woman. He said with a little smile, "That was kind of beautiful. You...you love humans."

Anya flared up at once, "I do not!"

"Yes you do! You looooooove them!" Andrew was grinning now, speaking in a sing-song voice.

"Stop it! I don't love them! And I'll kill you if you tell anybody." Anya grabbed him by the front of his shirt to emphasis her words. Andrew's eyes widened.

"I won't tell anybody. Won't get a chance to, anyway." Anya sighed and let him go,

"I don't know. You might survive."

"No, you might survive. You know how to handle a weapon, and you've been in this world for, like, a thousand years. I'm not so..." Andrew sighed, "I don't think I'll be OK. I'm cool with it. I think I'd like to...finish out as one of those... lame humans tryin' to do what's right." He managed to smile a little.

"Yeah." Anya nodded. They were silent for a few moments before Anya turned around and opened the last cupboard. "Hey! You little liar! There's Angel Cake mix in here!" Pulling it out, Anya tossed it to Andrew who caught with wide eyes. "Make it!"

"Yes ma'am." Andrew hopped to his feet. "Do you think it's a bit weird that they have Angel Cake in the place where a guy called-"

"Less yakking, more cracking!"

* * *

"Hey Dawnie."

Dawn looked up and smiled at Xander as he sauntered over to her.

"Hey Xander, how's it going?"

"Good, good. Been keeping an eye on the Potentials, making sure Faith doesn't try to, you know, convert them to the darker side."

"I'm sure Faith knows better, and besides, I heard Buffy telling her if she tried to do anything other than training with the girls she'd kick her ass back to Sunnydale and let her take on the Bringers alone."

"Interesting plan. I don't suppose there was any way for me to assist?"

"You're bored aren't you?" Dawn smiled at Xander in a fond way.

"Well, there ain't much to do but read, read and oh yes, read. Well, you could throw in being a crash mat to be punched at but that's just unappealing." Xander smiled but there was a heaviness behind it and it was emphasised as he sunk into his chair. "I hate this! It's all so twisted. I mean, Cordelia Chase, my high school sweetheart is now the klepto insane ready-to-pop Master Evil! I mean I always suspected that there was something intrinsically evil about Cordy, but… not this sort of evil. Not the end of the world kind, more like take over the world and convert it all into a shopping mall/beauty salon kind."

"Well, it isn't technically her, right? I mean, Wesley and Angel said it was more of a… possession thingy."

"Yeah, but… still. I hate the way everyone's so wrapped up in Blonde Mummy to Be that no one seems to care about what's happening with Cordy."

"Xander, Calista is the answer to the whole thing. She's the only one who has any chance to save Cordelia."

"So she says. But we're talking about a girl who, due to her life-story, which can be summed up in a single word, _abused_, is probably not completely right in the head."

"You think Calista's crazy?" Dawn looked aghast. Xander sighed and amended,

"Ok, I guess that's not likely, but still, Buffy and Deadboy are so wrapped up in her and Dead-boy junior that they seem to have forgotten that there's an apocalypse happening right now."

"They haven't, but if Calista can't unlock the power she has in her, then we're all kinda… screwed."

"What about the First? Did that take off to Neverland to terrorise Peter Pan now that we're here in L.A.? Doubtful."

"Well… Calista said that the two were linked."

"Yes and she's been so forth-coming with Intel it's amazing that we haven't already won."

Dawn sighed, apparently Xander was determined to stick his heels in and not give over his annoyance. She could understand how frustrating it was to just sit around and wait for God knows what.

"Oh, Dawnie?"

"Yeah Xand?"

"Stay away from Deadboy junior."

"Why?"

"'Cause I don't trust him any further than I can throw him and since he'd probably break my neck the second I tried to pick him up that ain't very far."

"Come on Xander-"

"No Dawn." Buffy walked over to them, having overheard that part of their conversation. "Stay away from Connor, he's too dangerous. At this point I don't even know if he's even on our side, let alone what he could do."

"What's the big deal about me staying away from him?"

"Oh nothing, except maybe that Deadboy junior doesn't take no for an answer it seems if you get my drift." said Xander, tapping a pencil against a book with more force than he should have had.

"Wait what?" Dawn looked from her sister to Xander. Buffy sighed,

"Just stay away from him Dawn."

Dawn huffed in annoyance, willing for the day when she would be able to ignore what her sister and friends said.

* * *

Phew, hopefully you all enjoyed that and will review because I'd love to know what you think. It'd be a real help. If anyone's hoping for more character interaction between the other characters (and I know more than one person wants Buffy and Angel, but I just haven't had a chance to put it in yet) then please let me know.

Night's Darkness


	12. Nightmare

**Please read!** Hey! Another chapter is here and another is already written, although I am a little disheartened by the lack of reviews for the last chapter. I'm not one of those writers who holds chapters for ransom until I get reviews, but I do appreciate them, and find them really helpful, especially since this is an attempt to improve the original story.

While we're on the subject, the story has taken a drastic turn away from the original plot, where I'm working hard to spread the weight of the responsibility around among the canon characters. In the original fic, the canon characters almost took a backseat to all my OC's and I'm trying to avoid doing that again. This, plus my own writer's inspiration, has meant that the plot is very different from here on out. I tried not to make it too different, but my muse wouldn't allow it. So the title of the fic is likely to change, characters are different, and OC's are not as prominent as they once were (I hope). As of the moment the title will remain as it is, but it'll probably change within the next few chapters.

Anyway, just thought I should give you a heads up, especially those who read and enjoyed the original fic. I figured it was only fair.

Anyway, that's enough from me! On we go with the fic!

Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 12**

Calista opened her eyes, to find sunlight shining on her pillow. Watching the way the shadows of some leaves danced against the white pillow, Calista reached out, entranced, to touch the spot. The sun warmed her skin, making it tingle. In the illumination it looked like it was glowing with golden light.

Calista pulled away the blanket with her good hand, and stared at her stomach. Even after everything she still couldn't get her head around it. Two people. Two people were living in there. Two people like her, like Connor, like Daniel, like the people she saw walking the halls of the hospital.

"Life is a miracle." she murmured to herself, stroking her stomach. "My miracles… I do love you."

Against her hand she felt the press of a tiny palm, then another. Both her babies were reaching out to her. Calista smiled.

There was a knock on the door and Calista jumped, feeling guilty.

"Hey mamma." grinned Gunn as he entered the room. "How are you doin'?"

"Better. I feel calmer at any rate." Calista smiled at Gunn.

"Cool. So, you feel up to getting up and heading back to the hotel?"

"Honestly? Do I even have a choice?"

Gunn gave a sheepish smile, "Fair point. C'mon, I got a change of clothes for you, Blondie dropped them off last night."

"Who?"

"Buffy."

"Oh." Calista blushed, while Gunn smiled, the same kind of smile one wears when a child making an innocent mistake amuses them.

"So, you dress and then I'll drive you to the hotel."

"Thank you Gunn."

"No sweat, hey, I'm just gonna check with Angel, he's getting your meds, you know, for the pain."

"Pain?" Calista frowned, staring down at her arm that was bound tight in a cast and in a sling over her neck. "It doesn't hurt."

"Well, that might be the meds, you know."

"But… doesn't medicine make you sick or dizzy?"

"Well, some anaesthetics can make you sick, but pain killers just make you light headed."

"I don't feel light headed." Calista looked more confused than anything else. Still, she shook her head and said in a quiet voice, "I should get dressed."

"Yeah… uh, we'll be back in a few minutes. Nurse said just holler if you need any help dressing."

"Thank you."

* * *

Gunn shut the door behind him, feeling a little confused about Calista saying she wasn't in pain. Then again, she probably had a high tolerance level.

"Hey Gunn." said Angel as he bid Dr. Espinosa goodbye.

"Hey man. You get the meds?"

"Yeah." Angel held up a large white bag. Gunn grinned,

"I bet you quizzed her loads about whether the meds would hurt the babies even though as a doctor she would know better."

Angel would have blushed if he could and nodded. "She also wants us to book a counsellor for Calista."

"Something tells me that isn't going to go down well for anyone."

"Well, maybe, when this is all over we can get her a counsellor that specialises in demons and magic and stuff, that way she won't have to lie or risk getting carted off to a mental house."

"Yeah, something tells me _that_ wouldn't go down well with Connor."

Angel paused and looked down at the floor. Gunn sighed, "So no change?"

"Buffy said he's just lying there, not moving. It's like he's in a coma or something."

"Well, maybe Calista can bring him out of it. You know, if she can fry an evil preacher, maybe she can jumpstart our boy."

"Here's hoping but the bigger problem is… will she want to?"

"Look, you said it yourself, Connor didn't do it the way it sounds." Angel had explained his slightly disturbing experience with Connacht last night to Gunn while they were playing Guard dog.

"So?"

"So tell her that. Explain to her the what and whys of the whole thing and she'll get over it."

"Gunn, she's been nursing this thing for over a year now, it won't go away by my word. Connor has to be the one to tell her."

"Well… I dunno man, what can we do? 'Cause I'm thinking Mommy ain't gonna last much longer without winding up in a nut house or dead."

"Who's dead?"

Both men jumped a foot in the air as Calista stared at them curiously, dressed in her new clothes, her arm secure in the sling.

"The preacher. He's dead. You killed him."

Calista winced, "I know that."

"We were just, um, talking about it. How you did it."

"I don't know what happened I just…"

"We can talk at the hotel. I'll meet you there."

"You're not coming with us?" Calista frowned at Angel.

"I would if it weren't for a little thing call the sun that would love nothing more than to fry me."

"Oh… right." Calista shifted on her feet, looking very unsure. Gunn shared a look with Angel and then he turned to Calista, taking her hand.

"My lady, your carriage awaits." With Calista's bag in one hand, Gunn linked her good arm with his, like an old fashioned gentleman, and he led her along. Calista threw a very bewildered look at Angel over her shoulder. Angel made a mental note, that when this apocalypse was over and they were able to, to buy as many movies for Calista as possible. It was bad enough that Angel was clueless about recent references, but Calista didn't need to suffer that fate or the fate of not having a clue what any reference was to.

* * *

Gunn couldn't stand silence in cars. Only when it was a tense situation was he ok with silence. Now though there shouldn't have been the tension there was. Calista was staring at her stomach, sitting very still. She could have been a statue. Gunn wondered why she was so nervous around him.

"You ok?"

"Hm?"

"Are you ok?"

"Oh, I'm, I'm fine. Thank you." Calista barely met his eyes and when she did, Gunn saw a huge amount of nervousness and fear in her eyes. She was scared of him! Gunn couldn't get his head around it. Why in the world would she be scared of him?

"Did I do something wrong?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean you're acting like I'm gonna turn all Freddy Cruger on you."

"I don't…"

"You're scared of me. Why? I'm not gonna hurt you."

"Oh… I know that Gunn. It's just…" Calista looked away and said in a quiet voice, "You look very like a man who… who tried to…"

"Damn Calista."

"It's all right. He didn't. I managed to get away. I'm fine, it's just… unnerving how much you resemble him."

"Well, I'd never, ever try that sort of thing with any woman. I promise. You can trust me."

"Thank you Gunn." Some of the fear vanished and she smiled at him.

"No problem. And if that ever happens again, you tell me and I'll kick the guy into next year."

"Thank you. I appreciate everything you and the others have done for me. I really do."

"No sweat. Just lookin' out for one of our own."

"Me?"

"Yeah, you're one of us. A fighter of Evil."

"I'm no warrior."

"Neither is Fred, but she still fights. You don't need to be good at making demon pulp to fight Evil. Take English for example, he's fought it using his brains."

"You're the brawn."

"Damn straight!"

Calista giggled and then sighed in a content way, leaning her head back, basking in the sun.

"I love the feeling of the sun on my skin. It's like nothing on earth."

"You should try it on the beach. Nothing better."

"I've seen that, but I don't know when I could do it. I mean… once the babies are born…" Calista trailed off and looked out the window again. Gunn mentally winced. Bad topic!

Calista said nothing for the rest of the trip. Gunn mentally cursed himself, then winced as he imagined her reaction to Connor's condition, something they had conveniently forgotten to mention the night before.

"Calista! Welcome back." Dawn rushed over and hugged the girl, careful not to hurt her arm. Calista looked stunned as she hugged Dawn back with much uncertainty. "How do you feel?" asked Dawn as she pulled away.

"I feel all right. It… it doesn't hurt if that's what you meant."

"That's great, we're all very happy about that. Now what about this intel you've got in your brain? Any more snippets of information for us?" asked Xander in a loud, over-cheerful voice. Calista bit her lip and took a step away from him.

"W-well… I know the First Evil and the other thing, in Cordelia, are connected, th-that's why you needed to get together. I-I-"

"Xander! You're scaring her." scolded Anya, walking over to Calista and leading her over to a chair to sit down. Xander threw his hands up in the air in exasperation. Anya rubbed Calista's shoulder and said, "Seriously though Calista, we do need that info. So… spill."

"I don't know, I really don't."

"Yes you do! You said this seer told you everything, showed it to you so spill!" Anya's hand on her shoulder suddenly seemed less comforting. Calista shivered under her grip and Anya let go, looking both embarrassed and annoyed.

Calista closed her eyes and went very still. She seemed to be meditating. A knot formed in the centre of her brow. Then her eyes shot open and Anya slid away at the look in her eyes. It was as if the teen was not quite there in her head.

"That thing, inside Cordelia… it's a Power that Was. It manipulated everything around us, all of us are its puppets." Calista's voice was very far off, dazed. "Except me… I'm something else. It didn't anticipate me. But it was able to manipulate Daniel enough to get rid of me so it could manipulate Stephen…" Calista got to her feet and began to pace, a distressed look on her face, "The cave. The trees. We need to find them. Find them."

"Find who Calista?"

"The Beginners. The caretakers. The providers. We have to find them. They hold the answers to this. They know what was, what is and what shall be. They know the key to it all. Must find it." Calista tottered on her feet and Spike leapt forward to catch her as she collapsed. Calista groaned and rolled her head. "Have to find it." she whispered.

"Where is the cave luv?" asked Spike, trying to keep his impatience out of his voice.

"Below the peaceful. Below the darkness. Below the sunless land."

"That doesn't make any sense."

"What about somewhere like the poles?" offered Dawn, "You know, where the sun doesn't come up for months during the winter."

"The North Pole is in winter at the moment." agreed Wesley.

"We can't go to the North Pole!" exclaimed Buffy, narrowing her eyes.

"North Pole?"

Xander jumped at Angel's voice right behind him. The vampire smirked a little as he pushed past the man. "What about the North Pole?"

"Calista's saying we need to go to the North Pole." explained Fred.

"No she is not!" snapped Spike, helping Calista sit up on the floor. "She's saying sumat about that cave from before being below the peaceful, and the darkness and sunless land."

"Which sounds like the North Pole."

"What about below L.A.? It was sunless for a while."

"Yeah, but it's anything but peaceful."

"Well where the hell could there be a place that's sunless, peaceful and below darkness?"

Angel frowned and crouched down beside Calista. Her eyes were glassy and unseeing. A single tear fell from her eye and landed on Angel's hand. Angel jumped, like he'd been electrocuted. He stared at the droplet as it slid down his skin. And he knew exactly where the cave was.

"Come on." He said, getting Calista to her feet. Spike held her up.

"Come on where?"

"I know where it is… I don't know how to get to this cave, but I know where it is."

"Funderland?" asked Andrew from the kitchen doorway. Everyone glared at him. "A guy can dream can't he?"

* * *

Connor looked around and his stomach twisted in knots of horror. That red sky! Those screams that never seemed to stop! The rock, sharp and jagged that stretched forever into the horizon, meeting the bloody sky with a crack of purple lightning.

"Oh God no!" he cried, his hands clenching into tight fists. "Please… please no."

"Hm, now there's a sight to see."

Connor whipped around to find Calista perched in a tree behind him, perfectly balanced, with cold eyes and a cruel smirk on her delicate features. "The great Destroyer of Quor-Toth reduced to nothing more than a whimpering pathetic excuse for a demon child."

"Calista?" Connor was hurt. Calista never spoke like that to him. Sometimes he thought she wanted to but, as was normal, Calista rarely spoke her mind.

"What? Don't look so surprised Stephen. Did you really think I thought anything else of you?"

"Calista, please…"

"Please… what a sad little word. I used it so often and it was always ignored." Connor flinched. Calista jumped down from the tree, standing before him. Connor realised that her pregnant belly was gone. It was as if she'd never been pregnant. She was dressed in a black flowing top that flattered her curves and black leather pants. Connor was dressed in his old animal skins, his trophies hanging over one shoulder.

"Cal… I'm so sorry… I didn't ever want to hurt you."

Calista maintained a sickly sweet tone and smile, "I know Stephen. But you did and I hate you for it. But I suppose such treatment is to be expected from the spawn of a demon."

Connor flinched again. He felt Calista run her fingers through his hair in a manner that made him shiver.

"Poor baby. You're so confused and scared. You're so sad and pathetic. You're so damned and evil."

"I'm not evil… am I?"

"You said it yourself. Angelus is your father, not Angel. Angel is good and Angelus is an evil demon. You inherited his evil nature. You find pleasure in causing pain."

"I don't. I hate pain, I hate destruction."

"You are the Destroyer of Quor-Toth. You bring pain and fear and torture to all. Just think of the way Buffy and her friends treat you."

"Calista please, stop. I'm begging you."

"I begged to you. You never listened to me. Why should I listen to you?"

"I'm sorry Calista. I am. I never wanted to hurt you. I… I love you."

"Of course you do." Calista ran her hand across his stomach as she walked past him and sauntered away. Reaching up she ran her fingers over a dead branch, an almost loving caress. Connor wished she would touch him like that, but even before all this she hardly had. Sometimes she'd stroke him, like he was a cat or something, when they were making… having sex. Connor had assumed it was her way of trying to make their mating more intimate, something they'd had very little time for in Quor-Toth, because there was always the danger that they'd be caught. Calista had never caressed him.

"Why would I?" Calista was still caressing the tree. "Caresses are for cherished things, cherished people. I never cherished you. I thought I loved you, but in the end all that was, was a feeling of loyalty and obligation." Calista's fingers dropped from the tree. "You took something from me, something precious, something I can never have again. You took it away without even asking me if I wanted to give it. You never even tried to make it easier on me." Her eyes were boring into him. They were bitter, hateful. Connor flinched and looked away. "It hurt. It hurt in a way I'd never felt before. As soon as you did it my whole world came crashing down. You made me into nothing from the little I was. You took away the only thing that gave me pride."

Connor turned away from her and found himself naked, lying on top of Calista, pinning her down to the ground. Calista's chest rose and fell in haggard breaths, the white skin flushed against his.

"Did you enjoy it? Did you like holding me down and taking it from me?" Her dark eyes were scorching him with their accusing glare.

Connor felt sick to his stomach as his body ignored his brain and continued on, even as he tried to stop it. Calista's head fell back as she cried out in pain and Connor felt his canines elongate at the sight of her pale neck. Calista screamed as he bit down into her neck and began to drink her blood.

Connor shouted at himself to stop, to stop doing this, to stop enjoying it. Still his body ignored him. Calista's blood coated his tongue and he growled in hunger.

"You see now what you are?"

Connor blinked and looked around his room in the hotel. Calista lay in the bed, the sheets tangled around her, her neck bleeding. Her stomach was a pregnant mound under the sheets. One arm was thrown above her head, resting against the pillows, the other was holding down the sheets. Her long, pale legs were bare and they moved in a weak way against the mattress. The white sheets were stained with blood. "Do you see now what you truly are? Or do you need a mirror to see the truth?"

Connor looked to his left and cried out in horror when he saw himself in the mirror. His face had ridges, sloping downwards to the bridge of his nose. His eyes were feral, animalistic yellow and his teeth were sharp and cruel.

"No!" Connor clawed at his face, drawing blood. "No! Get it away. I'm not a demon! I'm not!"

"You're a monster." snarled Calista, standing before him, bleeding, bruised, pregnant and naked. All things he'd done to her. "You used me and then threw me away like a piece of trash. You turned me into trash!" Calista slapped Connor across the face, her nails digging in and scratching four bloody lines across his cheek.

Connor touched his cheek with a shaky hand. The blood streaked over his fingers. It was black.

Calista continued, "Your blood is foul, it is evil. You are scum. The devil is thy master and thou art his obedient servant, doing his bidding willingly."

"Stop it! Stop! I'm not a monster." Connor turned away from her to run away, only to crash into something and fall onto his back with a grunt.

"Now, now son, you've disappointed Daddy."

Connor looked up and stared into the eyes of the demon that wore his father's face. Angelus smirked at him and stepped over him, over to Calista. Calista didn't move, even as Angelus ran his cold hand over her stomach. "Gotta say, didn't see this coming. What with the whole "Cordy looked good on me too" thing you were bragging about. This came outta left field." Angelus raised one hand and drew Calista's hair like a curtain away from her neck and he sniffed it, his nose brushing against her skin. Calista watched him out of the corner of her eyes and then her eyes flicked to Connor who was rooted to the spot in horror.

"Willow put your soul back. You're gone!" he said, sounding desperate.

"I'm always around son, in Angel and in you. Who do you think pushed him into Darla's bed that night?" Angelus' arms snaked around Calista's middle, encompassing her stomach, his hands pressed flat to it. Resting his chin on the curve of Calista's neck, Angelus smirked again, "I was the one who pushed Angel over the edge, I was the one without whom you wouldn't be here."

"It would have been the better for all." murmured Calista. Connor flinched.

Angelus chuckled, admiring Calista, "You're a little firecracker when you want to be, aren't you? All you need is someone to light your fuse. There's nothing I like more than a fireworks display, the banging, the cracking and the splashes of vibrant colour… you get my meaning?"

"Leave her alone!" Connor lunged forward and punched Angelus in the face. The demon let Calista go and fell against the wall with a grunt. "You stay the hell away from her!"

"You think she's any better off with you?" laughed Angelus. Connor faltered. "C'mon son, you are me. I'm in there." Angelus tapped his head. "I'm the one who kept you alive in that dimension. I'm the one who gave you the strength to survive in there! Stephen you're my son, you know it, I know it, everyone knows it!"

Connor shook his head. "My name is Connor, and I'm the son of Angel. I'm not evil. I'm not. I love Calista with everything I am, I would do whatever it takes to protect her, to have her, to love her."

"Pretty words. Too bad you don't believe them." Calista smirked, turning to Angelus and hooking an arm around his neck. Angelus nuzzled into her neck wound. Calista leaned her head back. Angelus drank deep. Connor screamed.

* * *

Reviews are always appreciated!

Night's Darkness


	13. Revelations

Still no reviews from anyone, but I meant what I said. I don't hold chapters for ransom, so here's the next one. I hope this one merits a review or two, because it's very disheartening that the last two haven't gotten one.

Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 13**

"This isn't Funderland." said Xander as they walked along the beach.

"No. But this is the place."

"Now will you explain it to us? You know I hate mystery." said Buffy, narrowing her beautiful eyes at her ex-lover.

"The cave is below the ocean. Below peaceful. Pacific means peaceful, because it's nowhere near as rough as the Atlantic Ocean. Below the darkness. Below the level of the hell mouths and below sunless lands, below the bottom of the ocean because that's sunless land."

"I guess that makes-" Buffy cut herself off as Calista walked straight towards the waters edge. "Can she swim?"

"I doubt it." Angel bolted after the teen and grabbed her uninjured arm before she disappeared into the water. "Where are you going?"

"Out there." Calista strained against him but she was no match for Angel's strength, not when she was so out of it.

"Well how do we get there?"

"We need to get to it."

Buffy sighed in exasperation. "She's useless to us at the moment."

"Give her a chance!" snapped Angel, rounding on Buffy. "In case you haven't noticed, Calista hasn't exactly had an easy time of it. It's all catching up on her now. So give her a damn chance Buffy!"

Buffy recoiled a little, her eyes narrowed in hurt. Angel had never spoken so harshly to her before and it unnerved her. It reminded Buffy that Angel had changed just as she had. It reminded her that things between them were irreparably changed and that was something she couldn't handle.

Angel regretted his words, but Buffy was aggravating his frayed nerves. Since when was she so pushy and arrogant? Sure, confidence was fine, but at the moment her attitude was grating on him and he didn't have time for it. His feelings for her were confused enough without this.

"Hey guys? There's a big wave coming this way… run!"

Angel barely had time to pull Calista away before the wave crashed down on the beach right where they'd been standing. As it pulled away the sand was revealed to have a message in it. It was like a child had drawn with its finger.

"'_To pass through the door, both keys are needed. You have only brought one.'_" read Robin, his brow furrow. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Got me." said Faith, standing near him. Robin's eyes flicked to her and the dark slayer's eyes seemed to twinkle at him for a brief moment.

"Calista… she's probably one of the keys…"

"And I bet Connor's the other one."

"I'm assumin' everyone else gets the double entendre there." said Spike, a twisted smirk on his lips. Angel glared at him, still holding onto Calista's arm. Calista was staring into space, leaning on the vampire. Angel's brow furrowed in concern.

"I think we should get back to the hotel if we're not able to get to the cave now. We need Connor and Connor's… not able to help us. And Calista's almost dead on her feet. She needs to rest."

The others, Buffy, Robin, Spike, Faith, Gunn, and Wesley all looked at Calista and only now seemed to realise how bad she looked. Her face was ashen in the torchlight, and it was clear Angel was the only thing keeping her from collapsing in a heap on the ground. Her eyes were glassy and her cheekbones were prominent, giving her an eerie skeletal look.

"Yeah… we should get back." Buffy looked guilty, no doubt regretting her harshness before.

"C'mon luv." said Spike, putting an arm around Calista's waist to support her. Angel did the same and held her unhurt elbow too. Together they helped the pregnant teen up the beach, back to the car. Calista stumbled and giggled like she was drunk, muttering about 'getting in' and 'keys and locks'. It was like dealing with an intoxicated Drusilla again. When they got her into Angel's car she cuddled up against Spike, who'd slid in beside her, and fell asleep.

"Angel, is she…"

Angel met Buffy's worried eyes. "I don't know. I really don't know."

* * *

'Cordelia' smiled to herself as she watched all the goings on through her little orb.

"'Bout time those brats got what was coming to them." she muttered.

"For once we're in full agreement." said The First, strolling over in the form of Daniel Holtz. 'Cordelia' looked up at It narrowing her eyes. "I must admit, there is a definite pleasure in watching that boy suffer in his own mind."

"Hm, well I have to say I prefer watching that bitch loose her mind thanks to the Seer's visions overwhelming her weak mind."

"Your little nightmare certainly aided that."

"Without both keys they cannot enter the Realm of Beginnings, therefore they cannot learn of the secrets they need to stop us."

"Hm, well let's hope the Powers don't have anymore tricks up their sleeves. Now about your sacrifice…"

"It's difficult to do alone! If you'd help me then we'd get somewhere. You could coerce a virgin here or get one of your Bringers to bring me one."

The First sighed, folding Its arms. "All right… I'll help you, but that means our deal must be altered."

"Excuse me?" Cordelia raised one perfectly shaped eyebrow.

"Our deal was that we work together, but we don't help each other. Now I'm going to help you, so that means the deal is changing, so… what do I get in return?"

"Hold on just one moment! It's your fault that bitch is still alive. Your servants should have killed her months ago while I was seducing Connor."

"And they tried."

"And failed!"

"True, but that is because the girl was always protected in some manner or other."

"Humph! And you're supposed to be the original Evil. Honey, you're about as evil as Harmony Kendall."

"Watch your tongue! And it was my minions' incompetence that led to the girl's survival! Oh for the time when I can finally take corporeal form and slaughter with my own hands." The First glared at its hands, twisting Daniel Holtz's face into a scowl that the Destroyer of Quor-Toth and his mate had grown up fearing.

"Don't worry. Once we rule the world then you can focus on becoming corporeal." 'Cordelia' smiled sweetly. The First narrowed its eyes.

"So you can kill me? I don't think so."

Cordelia's smile fell at once. "I never said anything of the sort."

"Woman I am older than time itself. I am no fool and if you ever presume so again I will make that brat's job much easier for her." With that it was gone. 'Cordelia' snarled.

"I really hate that thing!"

* * *

Angel led Calista up to Connor's room, doing his best to keep her steady but Calista's giggling and staggering made that damn near impossible. When they reached the room Calista stumbled to the bed and lay down, not even noticing Connor. No sooner had her head touched the pillow than she was out for the count. Angel doubted if the Beast himself could have roused her.

"Angel…"

Angel didn't turn around to look at Buffy, preferring to watch his son. Connor was twitching and grimacing, like he was in a nightmare. Angel wanted to go wake him but something stopped him. Then Angel turned away and walked past Buffy, down into the lobby where everyone was gathered. The Potentials were in the training room, practising. Buffy sighed and tried again, "Angel I… I'm sorry I was cruel to Calista. But we're in an apocalypse, the whole world is in jeopardy and-"

"And sometimes sacrifices have to be made, I know. But those sacrifices are not going to be my son, my grandchildren or their mother. I won't let the Powers take this away from me. I missed out on Connor's life. I won't miss out on my grandchildren's."

"If a sacrifice was given willingly it wouldn't be a sacrifice. Not really."

"I don't care if I have to give up my own life for them, I will if I have to."

"I wouldn't let you." Buffy winced as she realised she'd said that aloud. Angel turned to face her.

"It's not your choice."

"I still wouldn't let you."

"So you'd let Connor die? Because if the answer is yes Buffy then I have nothing more to say to you."

"Angel… Connor's a monster."

"Don't you dare say that again!" Angel pointed a finger at Buffy who jumped a little at his raised voice. Spike straightened up. "My son is not a monster. My son is a confused boy who's been beaten, tormented, lied to, seduced, used, and is now being treated like a criminal who enjoyed committing his crimes. Connor didn't enjoy anything in his life. The only person he's ever had to comfort him is Calista-"

"Who he raped."

"No. He didn't. I think deep down Calista knows it too, or else she wouldn't still care about him and she does! Connor was trying to protect her from himself."

"Is that supposed to justify-"

"Buffy, try and see his side of it! Put yourself in his position. You're in a dimension where the air burns your lungs and you never know if you'll live out the day. Your father constantly tells you you're evil and set for hell and beats and tortures you, telling you that he's trying to save you. The only good thing in your life is a person who you grew up being told was as evil and damned as you because she's a girl. You grew up watching her being punished for small mistakes. You grew up with her holding you and comforting you when your father beat you. You love her beyond anything you can understand, because she's the most beautiful thing in the place you call home. As you get older things change between you. You both change and you're aware of it. The beatings increase on her and you can't understand why. You want to stop them but you know they are only because she deserves them, or so your father tells you and father's word is law! You see her and you're confused and scared by what you feel. You feel like you're loosing your mind, as if a great frightening monster is brewing inside you and if you don't do something it will burst forth and hurt the only thing that means anything to you. You can't let that happen! You refuse to let it happen! So you do the only thing you can think of. You commit a sin to prevent a worse sin. You try not to hurt her and when she cries so do you. You weep because you know what you've done will never be forgiven."

Angel realised he'd been pacing, shouting, and as he paused he knocked a bunch of books off the lobby table. The lobby was silent as a grave, and several people were shaking. Angel met Buffy's eyes and noticed she was one of the shakers. "If that is a monster, then everyone here is one. Everyone in the world is one. If loving enough to do whatever it takes to spare someone you love of pain, even if the action causes lesser pain, is the way of monsters, then I think it can't be that bad to be one."

Angel was tired. Angel was very tired. Tired of fighting, tired of defending Connor, tired of hearing people say cruel things about his son, when they were all just too selfish and scared to see the truth. Including himself.

Fred was the first one to break the silence,

"Angel… how do you know this? I mean, how can you know that Connor felt that. For all we know-"

"Because I saw it… I felt it. Connacht, that man who looked like Connor, but with the black eyes, he showed up at the hospital. He put me in Connor's head, let me think what Connor thought that day, feel what he felt. God you wouldn't believe what it was like there. The air burned his lungs, and the demons were huge. The sky was the colour of blood, with purple lightning flashing above your head. And-" Angel trembled, "and Holtz, he was so cruel, so harsh. Everything he said that I heard was biting, bitter, and Connor was afraid of him. Calista was terrified, her hands kept shaking when she made the meal, which was her job… and Connor wanted to take her away from Holtz, just to make her smile. He loves her smile, because it's such a rare thing to behold. It's like a rare jewel. He loves her."

Wesley shifted and then he murmured, "Excuse me." and walked into the bathroom. Even without super hearing, Angel would have heard him retching. And a glimmer of satisfaction flowed through him. True he'd said that things between the two men were ok, but he doubted he'd ever be able to get past the fact that if it weren't for Wesley, Connor could have grown up happy, could have grown up knowing about baseball, about TV, about chocolate. Connor could have grown up in a loving home, instead of in a cave under a sky that dripped blood, with a bitter old man whose thirst for revenge had destroyed him and a girl who he grew up adoring but hating her timidity and tears.

"What's with Wes? I guess you can grow stubble, and call yourself a rouge demon hunter but under all that he's still the wet blanket he was in good old Sunnydale. Speaking of which does anyone miss the comforting threat of the Hellmouth when they think about this soap opera Deadboy's living."

"Shut up Xander." snapped Buffy. She didn't know what was the matter with Wesley but she knew it had something to do with Connor and Angel.

"I don't think so Buff, I mean, I'm sorry for whatever drama the kids have been through but in case you've all forgotten, we're in an **Apocalypse**! And the so called answer to it is currently having a snooze upstairs."

Angel had a great desire to let his game face out and tell Xander how much he would suffer if he didn't shut up, but he kept his tongue, for now.

"Xander's right." agreed Faith, "This is getting out of wack. I mean, I get that they've had it rough, but so's everyone here. And besides, Hell dimension? We've all been there, or somewhere like it. It's time we cracked down and grabbed Queen Beyotch and keep her from goin' pop."

"That is certainly an idea." agreed Wesley as he emerged from the bathroom. "This thing inside Cordelia may be vulnerable while it's still in a human host. Which would explain the pregnancy."

"I know who we can ask. Willow, would you mind bringing our resident hostage to the lobby?" asked Angel, smirking a little.

"Andrew?" Willow pulled her confused face. Angel's smirk fell.

"I was talking about Skip. Andrew's a hostage?"

"Oh, righty oh!" Willow held her hand out and said, "Skip, I summon you!"

There was a flash of red light and Skip appeared, still contained in his circle of red sand.

"Oh not again." he groaned. "What do you want now?"

"We thought you might be getting bored with your cell and feeling more inclined to talk."

"Yeah well, you thought wrong."

"How do we save Cordelia?"

"You can't. We've been over this! Jeeze! The Evil is in very single cell of Cordelia's body. There's no way to get her back."

"What about if she gave birth to… whatever's inside her."

"She'll be drained of her lifeforce from the labour, either killing her or she'll have a head like a cabbage."

"How do we stop this thing? Aside from killing her."

"You. CAN'T! God, how'd I ever get spanked by a monkey like you?"

Spike's lips curled up a little before he could stop himself.

"This thing, Calista said it's a Power gone bad." said Buffy, her eyes narrowed.

"Gotta say that's news to me cutie." Skip shrugged, "All I know is that it's the ultimate evil."

"What about the First?"

"Oh, now that's… gotta say I don't know squat about the First's involvement. Those Bringers ain't much for the talking and the Spirit of Evil's Past, Present and Future is a little too into the mind games for me."

"Tell me about it!"

Everyone jumped and looked at the stairs. There, sitting on the steps, leaning against the wall, was Connacht. He'd ditched his medieval, Lord of the Rings outfit for something a lot like something Spike or Angel would wear, trench coat included. Skip groaned.

"Not you."

"Aw Skippy, not happy to see me?"

"About as happy as I would be about a really bad toothache."

"Well then you should avoid all that junk food. Or maybe you should brush your teeth. Either idea works." Connacht got to his feet; his movements were light and relaxed. Very different from Connor's wary, deadly movements. Connacht jumped over the banisters and landed next to Skip. Stuffing his hands in his pockets Connacht walked around Skip, chuckling to himself. "Sand of the red palm, classic. Of course, even better would have been the variation, Sand of the blue palm. Allows you to put things inside the circle, but nothing can leave, so you could punch him and stuff and he'd have to take it."

"Thanks for the tip. Now what are you doing here?"

"I got VERY bored waiting for you lot to bring the keys to the beach. There's only so much time left. And it's shrinking."

"Who the hell are you?" demanded Gunn, "You've popped in twice now, once here and once to Angel, so who the hell are you?"

"And why do you look so much like Connor?"

"And what side are you on?"

"Chill! Seriously, you'll live longer." Connacht held his hands up in defence.

"Answer the question sparky!" snapped Spike.

"Aw, relax Willie, I will."

"Well do it quick!" snapped Angel, loosing his patience. He was grateful to Connacht for what he'd done before, helping him to understand his son, and for helping to save Calista and the babies, but the man seemed to have a knack for getting under people's skin.

"Ok, ok, Liam. Here's the lowdown, I'm a son of two vampires, I'm 173,993,073 years old. I'm dead. I'm the archenemy of the First Evil. I was the leader of my people, I still am despite the fact that we're all dead. It was my people who saved humanity before it even began, and we were the ones the Powers that Be screwed over the first time around."

There was a moment of silence. Then,

"Dear Lord." murmured Giles, staring straight at Connacht who was smiling like a happy child. "Is it possible?"

"Oui moussir! Eet izz!" Connacht was beaming now, and using a terrible French accent. Then he changed to an English one, matching Giles'. "Give the man a brandy, he's made the connection!"

"Rupert?" asked Wes, frowning.

"Alku." said Giles simply. Wesley's eyes widened in shock and he gaped at Connacht who grinned even more, (any wider and he'd cut his own head off) and said

"Jaa-ääni! Jaa-ääni! You've got it boyo!"

"Ok, can someone please translate all that into normal English please?" demanded Xander, folding his arms across his chest. Anya mirrored his stance.

"Where are you from, you keep switching nationality?" she groused.

"Oi ain't got no nationality!" Connacht seemed to be enjoying himself immensely as he spoke in a way that sounded like he had a few gobstoppers in his mouth.

"Are you really of the Alku? Is it true what they say about you? That you-"

"It's all true." Connacht reverted back to his normal voice, which was accentless, or so full of accents you couldn't separate or distinguish any of them, Angel couldn't decide.

"Who the hell are the Alku!" snapped Gunn, sounding frustrated.

"The Alku are one of the oldest demon breeds, long extinct. They were supposed to be the very first champions of the Powers That Be."

Connacht winced, "Yeah, can we not talk about that. Sore subject."

"The Alku were the ones who kept a balance of good and evil among the Old Ones. They killed enough so they were never outnumbered, always equal with their enemies."

"Not an easy job I can tell you."

"Wait a minute, if you're over 173 million years old, then wouldn't there have been dinosaurs too?" asked Fred, looking confused.

"Fred, dinosaurs were demons. Every natural history museum displays demons, but we've rationalised away their demonic and mystical aspects and reduced them to mere animals."

"FYI, stegosaurus? Great for a gossip and a lift."

"Hm, yes. Anyway… the Alku were supposed to be very close to the Powers, able to communicate directly with them."

"Not as nifty as you might think."

"There was also a rumour that the Alku prepared the world for humanity. They were, in a sense, our guardian angels."

"What do you mean 'prepared the world' for us? And what about the whole aspect that if this guy is a child of two vampires then how come it doesn't happen anymore." Buffy looked very dubious.

"Because ancient vampires, from which come modern vampires like Angel and Spike as well as the Turok-Han, were different. At least… we think they were. We don't know much about them."

Connacht's hand shot up.

"I do! Being my parents and all."

"Well?"

"Oh? Now? The apocalypse would be well over before I'd be done."

"Has anyone ever told you you're very annoying?"

"Oh everyone has. No skin off my ridged nose. Look, long story short, all vampire breeds are descended from the original vampires that had more than one method of breeding. One was the good old traditional way, which resulted in me and my kind. The method for the Turok-Han was one of blood magic and… other things that don't deserve to be described. And the breed that is present here in some form of solid life is the youngest of the bunch. Our little half siblings you might say. They were only created when our parents realised what happened with the whole blood drinking deal. And of course… you humans had to evolve first."

"And that's where you come in, isn't it?" said Giles almost quivering with excitement.

"God no. You were set to evolve as much as any of us big folk were. After all, large, multi-cellular organisms are the biggest fluke of existence. Statistically so unlikely it's virtually impossible. Humans even more so."

"I don't get it."

"Then maybe you should take your nose out of the mystics books and into some good old scientific evolutionary theory. Really would make you feel honoured to be in existence. Anyway, my people didn't have anything to do with the evolution of humans. We just ensured you would last this long."

"How did you know we would exist?"

"My mate, Calida, she was our answer to your Cordy with the vision dealie. One whooper of a vision showed her humanity. She told me about it and I got that tingle in the bone that told me to go on up and have a little chat with the Powers-That-Wanna-Be. They told me that after my people were gone, you humans would be their champions and since we were around, we had to ensure that you'd survive past the cave dwelling days that involved no caves whatsoever."

"You've spoken directly to the Powers that Be? What's that like?"

"Like trying to figure out how to restore lost memory on your computer with the help of a help switch board in India. Long, tedious and boring."

"So nothing awe-inspiring?"

"Not after the first few times. It's just another way of living. The Powers are nothing special. Not really."

"We are talking about the Powers That Be right? The ones who set everything up, the all powerful-"

"Oh please. The Powers are nothing in the bigger scale. They just love to think that's the case. The true power comes from something far greater than them. If they were on this level of existence they would be only as powerful as a demon, nothing really great."

There was silence as they absorbed this. Their beliefs had just been stripped from them. Angel, who'd spent almost a decade as a champion of the Powers, sank into a chair, feeling like he'd wasted a lot of his undead life. Buffy looked at him and it was clear she had similar feelings over her own life.

"So… everything we've ever done in their name has been pointless?"

"Not at all. It's been vital to the world, just because your bosses are phoneys doesn't take away from what you've done. You've saved the world… a lot! You should be proud of yourselves. You're all champions. Champions of something that the Powers answer to, not them. But they're vain, and they like taking credit for everything. All they care about is their egos. Believe me. I know."

Connacht pulled a disgusted face and paced around the lobby, eyeing each of them in turn.

"The Powers betrayed you, didn't they?" asked Buffy, stepping in front of him and staring him in the eyes. Connacht looked down.

"Yes. They used me and my people and then they allowed us to be slaughtered. We lived under the ocean, our cave was vast, with great trees, to provide us with oxygen. Our magic protected us from the outside world. We'd venture out to fight demons, that's all. Then our magical barriers began to weaken and recede. The Powers were taking our power away from us and once we'd completed our task for them, which was giving you everything you have, they let us be slaughtered, even the children, like Wales, and Czechoslovakia and Alaska. They were just babies!" Connacht turned away from Buffy and made a furious gesture with his hands. "I hate this! I hate this!" he snarled "I've tried to be calm and understanding towards you people but I still hate you! I hate you humans!"

"What have we done to you?"

"We gave you everything! Without us you wouldn't have survived the first generation, let alone take over the world! And none of you know it. None of you care. And I hate you because of how you are. You have to believe that you're more than animals, you have to believe you're above carnal feelings and above the rest of the creatures living in the world. YOU'RE NOT!!" Connacht whipped around, his black eyes flashing in fury. Then he vanished.

The gathering in the lobby stared at the place where he'd been standing for a long time before they moved.

"Anyone else feel wigged?" asked Buffy. Everyone raised their hands. "Just checking."

"So what now? He didn't tell us anything that could help."

"Still… if it's our fault that his people were slaughtered… wouldn't you be angry at us?"

* * *

Hope you enjoyed this, reviews are appreciated. I've no idea if people have just lost interest or aren't enjoying the fic or what.

Night's Darkness


	14. Too Much

Glad to see people are still enjoying this fic. It's all gonna come to a head now. At last we're getting to the interesting part.

Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 14**

"I'm sorry I lost my temper but that group can be the biggest bunch of hypocrites and I don't like being around those Slayers."

"I know my love, but please calm down."

Connacht sighed noisily and sat down on a rock, staring out at the world below him. Everest was a great place for a view. Calida sat beside him, resting her hand on his knee. Connacht covered it with his own.

"My love, I don't see how we can save them."

"Connor and Calista have great strength, but they need to find it. Which is why we tried to bring them to our home. They need to understand what we were before they can understand what they are."

"But Calista's not even-"

"In a way she is, in a way she's not. You know as well as I do a full human body could not handle what she is. It'd be too much."

"True. Calida, do you think we should just tell her what she is, instead of doing this stupid game of 'Twenty Questions'?"

"No. If she can't figure it out for herself then she won't gain the understanding she needs to become… what she must become to stop that Power."

"Ever wish we could just kill all the Powers?"

"Every day my love. Every day."

* * *

Calista opened her eyes, feeling a little less light-headed than she had, and sat up. Connor was moaning and tossing and turning in his sleep. The words sorry and please escaped his lips several times. Calista reached out to wake him, knowing he was having a nightmare.

As soon as she touched him Calista was hurled into another place. Before her she saw Connor on his knees, weeping as he watched something that made Calista almost scream.

It was herself, naked, and smirking at Connor while Angel and she…

'_Oh dear God!'_ she whimpered to herself, feeling sick at the moaning noises her mirror image was making. Angel was biting her and it only seemed to make her double enjoy herself more. The bed they were on was shaking with each movement.

"Stop! Stop!" cried Connor, clutching his head.

"Whose gonna stop me kid? You? Please. You couldn't even stop Holtz from sending her away. Big mistake, I mean, look at these legs." Angel hands gripped the double's thighs hard and the double giggled, rolling her cold eyes at Connor. "You couldn't even protect her from a mere human. How do you expect to protect her from me? I'm inside you! You're not Angel's son. You're mine!"

'_Angelus.'_ Calista shivered. She should have guessed. Angel's eyes were different to this demon's.

"Please stop. I didn't mean to hurt her. I swear. I was trying to protect her."

"Protect her from what? From you? Interesting way of protecting someone from yourself."

"I tried not to hurt her. I did. I was scared I'd really hurt her if I didn't… I love her so much. I needed her so much. I just wanted to be with her. I just wanted to make her smile."

"As I recall I cried." sneered the double, before moaning again, gripping onto Angelus' neck behind her.

"I know, but I knew if I didn't then, when I still had a chance to control myself… then she'd look at me like she looked at Father. Afraid of me, afraid of when I'd next lash out. I didn't want that. I love her too much. Please stop this."

Angelus pulled away from the double and the double pouted.

Calista felt sick at the sight.

Angelus knelt before Connor and lifted his head up. Calista stepped to the side and saw Connor's face was a bloody mess. Four scratches across one cheek and he had a vampire face. His eyes were yellow and tearful. Calista pressed a hand to her stomach, praying for a moment that her babies would not look like that.

"Even when you try to protect her you hurt her. You know she'd be better off without you. The world would be better off without. It doesn't even want you."

Connor let out a broken sob. Calista felt tears prick her own eyes. Closing her eyes she was taken somewhere else.

_(Flashback) _

Calista lay on her side, crying in silence, her arms curled around her head. Stephen lay behind her, leaning over her a little. His hand was resting on her bare arm.

"Calista. Cal, please talk to me." he begged, sounding tearful himself.

"Just leave me alone Stephen. Please."

"Cal… I didn't mean to hurt you, I swear. I just…"

"Just wanted to use me."

"No! No Cal. Never use you. I love you, I do. I tried not to hurt you. I'm sorry. Please look at me."

Calista turned a little, her shoulder pressing against his chest, looking up at him with tears in her eyes. Stephen bit his lip, looking like he wanted to cry himself. Then he leaned down and kissed her very carefully, his fingertips skimming over her cheek. Calista turned away from him again.

"Don't Stephen. Please, not again."

"I wasn't… I was just trying to make you feel better."

Calista couldn't look at him. She felt too sick when she did. Stephen let out a soft sob and buried his face in her hair and began to cry, his arms clinging to her. Calista began to cry too. Stephen kept murmuring, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry." Calista wasn't used to him saying that to her.

"Stephen?"

Stephen looked at her, leaning over her again. A few tears fell off his face and onto hers. Calista stared up at him. He always looked so miserable, so haunted. But when they'd… he'd looked so joyful for a moment. But it had been fleeting and he'd started crying over her.

Calista stroked his face for a moment and then put her arms around him, kissing him. Stephen looked confused. Calista wanted to hate him for taking her virginity away, for making her unclean. But one look into those bright blue eyes, seeing the misery, the pain and the need for her, made her realise that it didn't matter. Stephen needed her, and she could not deny him what she could give. She cared about him too much for that.

Calista never let him see her cry after their sinning again.

_(End Flashback)_

Calista opened her eyes, trembling. She couldn't understand why she didn't remember this before. How had she forgotten?

'_Maybe the seer's vision has made it hard for me to remember things.'_ she mused. Looking up she saw Connor crying while Angelus returned to the double, pulling her roughly to him to bite her again.

Calista narrowed her eyes at the two and then widened in horror as she saw what Connor was doing.

* * *

Connor watched as Angelus pressed Calista to him, biting her and lifting her up off the bed. Calista was giggling and moaning in the vampire's arms.

'_She's happier with him than me. I just hurt her and make her cry. I deserve her hatred. I deserve to suffer in hell. I deserve to die.' _

There was a knife in front of him. Connor picked it up and lifted it into the air. He swallowed and looked at Angelus and Calista. They were watching him, Calista grinning with childish eagerness. Connor thrust the dagger towards his neck.

A hand grabbed his wrist a hair's breadth from his skin.

Connor stared in shock at Calista. His warm eyed, pregnant, beautiful Calista.

Calista wrenched the dagger away from him and slapped him across the cheek.

"You think you can just kill yourself to escape this life? I won't let you!" she shouted. Connor stared up at her, lost for words. "I need you Connor! I need you to survive in this world. Your babies need you! You can't just run away from us."

"What good am I to you? You said it yourself, you hate me. I'm evil. I deserve to die."

"If you were evil then you wouldn't care that you were. If you were evil then they wouldn't be trying to make you kill yourself. They would be telling you to kill me."

"I'd never do that!"

"Then why do you think you're evil? You're not!"

"I'm damned for hell."

"So am I! But that's for the sins we've committed, not because we're evil."

Calista dropped to her knees and threw her arms around Connor, crying. "I'm so scared Stephen and you're the only one I have to help me. No one else knows what we've been through. No one else understands what it was like, what it is like for us. We're alone in this world that doesn't want us. So don't you dare leave me. Please don't leave me."

Connor held Calista to him, trying to press her as hard as he could to him. "It's ok Cal. It's ok. I'm not going anywhere. I love you. I love you. I never wanted to hurt you."

"I know. I know."

"Would someone get me a bucket so I can barf?" sneered Angelus. Connor and Calista looked up at him, their eyes narrowed. The double giggled.

"You think you'll be able to be together? Be normal and happy? You're both set for hell, you're both sinners."

"Maybe, but at least we're not you." said Calista, getting to her feet and stabbing the double in the chest with the dagger. The double shrieked and vanished in a roar of flames. Angelus chuckled and said,

"You sure you want to be around a guy who's got me inside him?"

"You won't be for long." said Connor behind him. Angelus turned around and there was a crack of bone. A stake stuck out of his chest. Angelus stared at it in shock and then he began to laugh as he crumbled to dust.

* * *

Connor and Calista both sat up with a jolt. They were back in Connor's room in the hotel. Calista breathed a sigh of relief and looked at Connor, only to back up in shock.

"What's wrong?" Even as Connor spoke he was aware of it. The sharp fangs in his mouth, and as he touched his brow he felt the ridges of a vampire face. "Oh God!" Connor covered his face with a hand and fell out of the bed as he attempted to get away from Calista. He didn't want her to see him like this.

"Connor wait." she called. "Let me see it."

"Calista-"

"Let me see it." Connor heard her stand in front of him, reaching a hand out to pull away his from his face. Connor kept his head down until Calista made him look up at her.

Calista stared at Connor's face in amazement. His ridges were softer than any other vampires', gentler. His pale skin look luminescent in the dark room, and his eyes were like ice chips. His hair was fuller, and his fangs weren't as prominent.

Calista pressed her two hands to either side of Connor's head and smoothed her thumbs down his ridges, moving down under his eyes and along his jaw. Connor shuddered at her touch. He was afraid that she'd reject him. Calista knew he thought she saw a monster. What she saw was a frightened, beautiful creature. There was nothing terrifying about it. Calista smiled.

"What were you trying to hide?" she asked. Connor looked confused. "I don't see anything you should be trying to hide."

"I look-"

"Beautiful." she said. Connor blushed.

"Cal… do you hate me?"

"I wanted to. But I never could. No matter what you do, I can't hate you. I won't pretend that it hasn't hurt, knowing that you kissed one woman and slept with Cordelia."

"When did I… oh Sunny." Connor sighed. "She kissed me, and she's dead anyway. Kill herself with too much drugs."

"Oh…" Calista shook her head.

Connor touched her cheek and pulled her to him, kissing her lips, with no intention of stopping. Calista lifted her hands and pressed them against his chest, pushing him away.

"Calista?"

"Please don't Stephen. I… I care about you so much, I need you… but I'm not comfortable with you doing that at the moment. It, it isn't you, it's me, I'm just not comfortable with being touched like that, especially after seeing…" Calista shook her head again.

Connor looked at her with sad eyes, then he frowned. "Weren't you wearing a cast?"

"Huh?" Calista looked at her arms. Her unmarked, unbound arms. The cast was gone and there was no sign of it anywhere. Calista's mouth formed a little 'o' of shock as she looked her arm over again and again, running shaking fingers over it. "How is this possible?"

"I don't know, but it's a good thing, isn't it? I mean, now at least you won't be burdened by it."

"Ye-yes, that is true… I guess." Calista looked up at Connor her eyes wide and worried. Connor reached out and cupped the side of her face, stroking her cheek with his thumb.

"Hey, whatever's happening… you know I'm gonna be there for you, right? No matter what."

"I believe you Connor." Calista pulled away with a little smile. Connor lowered his hand, resigning himself to having to avoid touching her. He was willing to be patient. For her.

"We should go down… god knows what's going on by now."

"Yeah." Calista nodded, her head tilting to the side a little, as if the idea of going to the others weighed her down. Connor was about to turn and walk out of the room, when he remembered.

"How do I get rid of this thing?"

"You don't know how?"

"No." Connor rubbed his fingers over his ridges, "I didn't make it come… why did it show anyway?"

"I don't know. Do you feel any different?"

"I… I don't know." Connor ran his tongue over his fangs, wishing he could get rid of them. He couldn't face the others like this. It would just confirm to them that he was indeed a monster.

"Don't worry about the others. You're stronger than them. I know you're not a monster. And you can prove it to them. You will prove it."

Connor didn't question her ability to know what he was thinking. Calista was always intuitive.

"I… it's hard to face them Calista. I mean, to them, I'm just a bastard freak that slept with their friend and hurt you again and again."

"Stop. I won't listen to it. And I know Angel doesn't think that way. And he's the only one of them that matters to you. I know it."

Connor bobbed his head, then reached out to her. Calista smiled a little and took his hand, squeezing it a little. Connor drew in a deep breath.

"Ok, lets go."

Calista nodded and they walked out of the room, down towards the lobby. The group's voices filtered up to them.

"So… what do we do? Get Cordy and bring her here?" asked Fred

"Sounds like a plan. At least that way she won't be able to perform the ritual to give birth." said Willow.

"Ok, how can we find her Skip." demanded Angel.

Skip's voice was nonchalant "Well, I'd go with the Bu'shundi ritual but, uh, you're gonna need a sacred Hutamin paw for that-"

"Got it!" piped up Lorne. Connor and Calista could both picture the look on Skip's face.

"What?" Skip's voice rose an octave. Connor tugged on Calista's hand and they continued on as Lorne said,

"Cordy-the real Cordy-kept one in her desk drawer."

"Probably a knock-off. It's not some trinket you'd throw in a desk drawer-" Skip cut himself off, no doubt having realised it was in fact real. By this point Connor and Calista had reached the balcony above the lobby. The gang was gathered, although the Potentials were nowhere to be seen. Lorne was brandishing a tiny furry hand with claws. Skip looked like he was about to sweat a waterfall and the gang were looking at one or the other demon. Lorne touched the fur of the paw, chuckling a little in affection,

"She thought it was a back scratcher."

Buffy, Xander and Willow shared a look of amusement, as if thinking the same thing. Connor had to smile a little too. It did sound like something Cordelia, the real one, would do. Calista narrowed her eyes at him and the smile fell.

"Get started." said Angel to Wesley, "Willow-"

"-lend a hand? You got it big guy!" The redhead followed Wesley and Fred as they went to get the right book and ingredients for the spell.

"Ok, we should mount up. Be ready to go as soon as the spell's done." said Buffy.

"Agreed. Ok, Spike, you stay here, to keep an eye on Calista and Connor, they're vulnerable at the moment." Angel's voice hitched just a little at the word 'vulnerable'. Connor swallowed.

"Fine Peaches, but if that kid of yours gives me a reason to hit him rest assured I won't refuse."

"Spike, you-"

"Don't you two dare start another argument." snapped Buffy.

"Besides, I reckon I could take him dad!" called Connor, unable to keep his mouth shut. The congregation whipped around and looked up at them.

"Connor! You're awake!" Angel was beaming in relief, then he started as he noticed Connor's face. "Your face-"

"I can't get rid of it dad." said Connor, hating the way it sounded. He sounded frightened.

"Oh my God!" gasped Dawn, staring at him in shock. Calista's hand tightened on Connor's and she tugged him down the stairs, not saying a word. Those near them backed up. Connor kept his head down, his cheeks colouring in shame and humiliation. He felt so exposed to their accusing eyes.

Calista's hand gripped his chin and made him looked up, the light falling on his ridges and eyes. Connor gave her a brief look, asking her to stop but she stared at him hard, refusing to let him hide it.

Angel approached his son slowly, feeling shaken. His son had a vampire face, but there was nothing repulsive about it. In fact it was beautiful. Angel's large hands cupped Connor's face and made his son look him in the eyes. Those ice blue chips were piercing and made him tingle, but he was also struck at how sad, frightened and confused they were. Angel shared a look with Calista, then he said,

"It's ok Connor. They're not-"

"Looks good on you kid." said Skip, smirking, "Wondered how long it would take to show."

"You knew about this?" Calista's voice had a hard edge to it that surprised them all. Skip shrugged.

"Of course. The kid's a child of two very powerful vampires. The fact that he admits he's part vampire means that his game face can now show itself."

Connor wanted to run away but neither his father nor Calista would let him go. Buffy's eyes were darkening a little. Connor felt rage wash over him and he let out a snarl and shoved Angel away and lunged at Buffy, coming to a stop directly in front of her.

"You wanna kill me now?" he demanded, "You wanna give me what you think I deserve? DO YOU!"

"Connor-" Angel tried to calm him but Calista held him back.

Buffy was unable to move away from the boy who was glaring at her in fury. His eyes were piercing hers, making her feel shaken.

"I… you… You hurt the woman you claim to love! You slept with Cordelia! You got them both pregnant! You've tried to kill Angel, your _father_, **your father**!"

"What business is that of yours? You weren't there for any of it. You know nothing about me. You just made assumptions about based on what you'd heard, without giving me a chance."

"Didn't you do the same to Angel?"

"No! I gave him a chance, but he betrayed me by tricking me and killing my FATHER! He murdered him even when Holtz said he was leaving, letting me be with dad. He's lied to me, he's told me that there's nothing good in the world. It's harsh, and it's cruel and you know what, it's the only damn thing he's ever backed up." Connor whirled around and glared at Angel, who had an expression of deep hurt on his face. "You expected me to know everything and accept everything, as if I hadn't lived without you! As if I was some kind of blank slate you could write on. And none of you ever seemed to consider any other idea. It was so much easier to ignore that I'd had a life without you and blame me for everything that went wrong between us!"

"You sank Angel to the bottom of the ocean!" snapped Fred, having returned at the hearing of Connor's voice.

"Would you rather I'd killed him? You got him back, I got kicked out into a world I don't understand, that I don't like, that I don't belong in!" Connor felt like he was having a breakdown, his mind was spinning and his dream kept jumping to the foreground. He backed away from Buffy, knowing something was about to give.

"Connor-"

"No! Why did you kick me out but tell me you loved me? Why did you come to save me in Wolfram and Hart when you were just going to ignore and abandon me because of Cordy? Why didn't you tell me Cordy was evil when you found out? Why do you let me in so far and keep me out all at once?"

Skip began to laugh, a mocking, amused laugh that vibrated through Connor's head.

Connor snapped.

"SHUT UP!!" His hands punched through the red palm sand barrier and grabbed Skip's head. With a roar Connor twisted it clean off, shattering the tough armour around Skip's neck. Connor threw the head away and Xander and Anya had to leap apart to avoid it hitting them. Connor snarled and turned around, looking for more to destroy. He just wanted to loose himself in destruction like he used to do.

Angel grabbed him by the shoulders, trying to hold him still. Connor shoved him away with one hand, sending him into the banisters. Calista jumped but said nothing, only moved out of the way.

Buffy tackled Connor, but the teen didn't even stumble. Instead Buffy found herself being thrown over the lobby table, crashing into Wesley. Faith pulled out a crossbow and aimed it at Connor, knowing better than to try to get near the kid when he was like this.

"Faith, wait! No!" shouted Angel, his eyes huge. Faith shot the arrow at Connor but Connor caught it and threw it back at her. Faith swore as it got her in the thigh and she crumpled a little. Robin caught her and held her up.

Connor swung his gaze to Calista who stared back without fear. With an incredible vertical leap Connor landed right in front of her. Calista stood her ground. Their eyes bore into each other's. Then Calista touched Connor's vampire face and pressed her thumb to his lips. They said nothing. Then Connor threw his head back and howled as his chest began to glow with a black light.

Angel couldn't understand it. It was light, but it was black. And it was spreading from Connor's chest through his body, until he was just a silhouette or a shadow standing before Calista who still hadn't moved away. The ground began to shake and dust and bits of plaster rained down from the ceiling. The Potentials came running.

The shadow spread out from Connor and seeped towards them. Angel stood his ground, bracing himself as the shadow crept up over his shoes and up his legs. Spike and Buffy both stood their ground as well, while the others moved away.

Angel felt warmth engulf him with the shadow, and he felt surprising peace fill him. It was as if every bad thing had vanished. Even Angelus was silent, as if he were no more. It was a glorious feeling. It was blissful nothingness, where nothing mattered. Then it was gone.

Angel staggered and fell to his knees, almost crying out at the loss of the tranquillity. When he came to his senses he realised Connor was sprawled out on the ground and Calista was leaning on the couch, one hand pressed to her stomach. Faith was now on the ground, the arrow still sticking out of her leg. Buffy had a large bruise on her forehead and Wesley looked very dizzy. The Potentials were all shaking.

"Ok, may I be the first to say, what the hell was that?" demanded Xander.

"Right behind you Slim Jim." agreed Lorne, rubbing his brow.

"Connor!" Angel crawled over to his son and turned Connor onto his back. Connor's face was back to human form but his skin was still luminescent. As Angel shook him, Connor's eyes snapped open and Angel was struck at how intense they were. They were like ice chips. Connor groaned and sat up, rubbing his head. "Connor? Are you ok? What was that?"

"Just give me a second." snapped Connor, pinching the bridge of his nose. When he looked up he asked Calista, "Cal… are you ok?"

"Yes. I'm fine. A little shaky but…" Calista stared at him in fascination. "Connor, what-"

"I… it's hard to explain."

"Well you'd better start talking." said Buffy in a deadly voice. Connor looked at her and said in a calm tone,

"You should watch your tone Slayer. You might find your 'Everybody sucks but me' attitude will cost you far more than you're willing to pay."

Spike and Xander both tensed at the underlying threat. Connor ignored them and got to his feet. Angel did the same.

"Connor-"

"I want answers." said Connor, cutting him off without any anger, "I want you to tell me the truth. Then I'll try to explain what just happened. But you go first. I've waited long enough for answers."

"I… I don't know which one to answer first."

"Try the one about Holtz. Why did you kill him when he was leaving?"

"I didn't!"

"He had neck wounds that were consistent with a vampire, and your scent was all over him. And at the beach I overheard Fred and Gunn talking about how you were going to kill him. All indications are telling me you killed him." There was definite anger under the almost emotionless tone Connor was now using. Angel's mouth hung open in shock. This was news to him.

"Connor, Justine killed Holtz." said Wesley, "They set it up so you would believe Angel had killed Holtz, because Holtz knew you'd take revenge on him besides just killing him, just like you'd been taught."

"You knew this?" demanded Angel and Connor at once. "And you never said?" added Angel.

"There's been no opportunity! And for the record, if you hadn't lied to Connor in the first place before going to find Holtz then maybe it would have all been avoidable."

Angel couldn't refute that.

"Well maybe if you hadn't decided to steal Connor in the first place none of this would have happened." snapped Gunn. "If you hadn't taken him then he'd have never grown up in hell, and this apocalypse would never have happened."

Wesley's cool façade cracked briefly, and the reasserted itself. "I see we're playing the blame game now. How mature."

"Look you two, just shut up!" snapped Angel, holding a hand out at them in warning. Then the vampire faced his son, trying not to look away from the intense, accusing eyes in front of him. "Connor… I did go to see Holtz, but we just talked, that's all. I swear. He told me he was leaving and you were to stay with me, just like that letter of his said. I didn't kill Holtz, he was alive when I left."

"Why didn't anyone think to mention this sort of thing to me? Why didn't you tell me all this?"

"Why didn't you tell me you'd overheard Fred and Gunn?"

"What reason did I have to trust you? I'd grown up hearing how you would lie to me, mislead me, trick me into letting you getting close before you snapped my neck. I used to have nightmares about it." Connor's eyes flicked to Calista who nodded, her eyes on the ground. "How could you just expect me to forget a lifetime of lessons, of beliefs?"

"Well… I didn't, I just… we were having fun for a while. Remember after we dusted those vamps in that club? Don't you remember-"

"Dad one moment doesn't make up for a lifetime! It can't, no matter how good it is. We messed around for about ten minutes and you expected that to just make up for hating you for damning me for hell? For making me go through being tied to trees when I was five so I could learn to track? For beatings I got for making mistakes? For all the times I was told your blood and my mum's made me evil by nature and growing up fearing death because I'd be cast into a place even worse than Quor-Toth? How could you just assume none of that matter because we shared a laugh?"

"Connor… Connor I'm so-"

"Do not say you're sorry!" shouted Connor, making the Potential's jump. Lorne and Giles ushered them back into their training room. "Sorry is just a way of avoiding the question. Sorry is just an excuse! Now tell me the truth."

"I don't know! I just… I just wanted to have you Connor, I was so happy to have you back that I didn't… I didn't want to think about what had happened to you, knowing that I wasn't there to protect you when you were fighting all those demons. Knowing that I missed everything, your first words, your first steps-"

"My first kill, my first infection, my first massacre." Connor's tone wasn't taunting, it was resigned, weary. Turning away from Angel, Connor walked over to Calista and perched on the back of the couch beside her. Calista lifted her head to him. "You know, I think I get it. I get why you expected it of me. It was because you couldn't accept that I had grown up without you. You couldn't face it, so you ignored it and when I didn't accept it… you gave up on me. As far as you were concerned, as long as I wasn't bleeding, then your job was done."

"No! Connor, please- I tried to get you back. I did. I would have given anything to have you back."

"But when you got me back you were more concerned with getting revenge on Holtz. I know you dad. You probably went, planning on killing him, but you didn't in the end because you'd felt you'd won. I was just the prize between you two. That's all." Connor dragged his fingers through his hair, making it stand on end.

"Connor-"

"Don't. It's done dad. You can't change it. You can't change that you lied to me. You can't change that I had to decapitate and burn the only father I'd ever known, just like he'd taught me."

"Oh Connor!" Calista flinched and grabbed his arm. It was only then that anyone else noticed the difference.

"Where's your cast Calista?" asked Willow, looking bewildered.

"Gone. Don't know where." Calista looked at Connor, and he met her gaze. "Connor I'm sorry I wasn't there for you."

"Not your fault. I let him drive you away." Connor lowered his head, "I hate this! I want to hate him for taking me to Quor-Toth and for what he did to me but… I can't. He was my father! I loved him."

"I know." Calista hugged Connor to her. "Now Connor, please tell us what just happened to you. What does this all mean?" Connor closed his eyes and tilted his head back a little, his voice filled with awe,

"It was… it was amazing. I could feel the rage, the confusion and all I wanted to do was destroy. To break and smash and kill. Like in Quor-Toth. I wanted to be the Destroyer again. When I was him I didn't have to think. It was all just instinct. Then that feeling got stronger and you… you didn't look away from me. You weren't afraid of me. That was something I've always dreaded. You being afraid of me. But you weren't. And so I didn't fight the feeling for once, because I used to, in case it consumed me and I lost you. Then… I could feel this power filling me. It was from everything, in everything, and I could touch it. Destruction and devastation. But it wasn't evil. It was… it was nothingness. Neutrality. Grey. I can still feel it even now, it's like I'm connected to the world. I can feel it… but I can't explain what it's like." Connor opened his eyes and looked into Calista's. She was shaking. Connor reached out and touched her cheek. "I can feel the cells in your body dieing, making way for new ones. I can feel your hair growing because it's dead."

Connor was trembling and he closed his eyes as he seemed to be focusing on his connection with Calista. "I can sense the plants in the garden too. I can sense the way they're dieing because they've had no care, and no sunlight for so long. Even with the sun's return many of them are dieing. There's an alley dog five blocks away that's starving to death because there's nothing to eat. I can hear his heartbeat as it slows. I can feel it… Oh God!" Connor pulled away from Calista and staggered. He collapsed on the stairs and sat there, his eyes wide and his mouth hanging open.

Angel approached his son slowly, unsure what to say or do. He was still reeling from the verbal assault and this new information was more than his stressed brain could handle.

"Connor?"

"Give me a little while dad, I need… I need to filter it all out. It's too much." Connor closed his eyes and seemed to shut down. His heart rate dropped and his breathing slowed to about a breath every two minutes or so. Angel watched him in open anxiousness.

Calista groaned and moved around the couch to sit down. Pinching the bridge of her nose she moaned,

"I have a headache. Although I suppose that isn't surprising since I recently had to witness the image of myself having sex with Angelus… did I really just say that out loud?"

"Kinda." Willow's eyes were bugging out. Angel looked rather mortified and Spike was looking torn between amusement and disgust.

"Oh, ignore me, I'm just… ugh!" Calista pinched harder, digging her fingers into the bone framing her eyes. Fred brought over some aspirin and water. Calista took them both. Then she slid to the side and fell asleep.

* * *

Reviews are always appreciated. I know Buffy's been a bit of a bitch, but she was kinda nasty in the final few eps before the end of the season, when she got her act together. Don't worry, I don't plan on keeping her that way. She's gonna wake up and smell the reality.

Night's Darkness


	15. Mr Destruction

Here we go another chappie! Thanks to all my reviewers!

Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 15**

"Shit!" cursed Faith as Robin pulled out the arrow from her thigh.

"Easy, it's only minor. Looks like the kid intended it to hurt, not do serious damage." said the principal with a little grin.

"'S alright. I can handle a little pain. Sometimes it's fun." smirked Faith. Robin looked at her in surprise, then grinned.

"You like being dangerous don't you?"

"Hell yeah pal! Life ain't worth living if there ain't a little danger in it."

"Well, thanks but after this drama of an apocalypse I think I'll be all dangered out." Robin pressed a wet cloth to the wound in Faith's legs. Faith eyed his hand and how high it was, then leaned back a little in her chair. "What do you think will happen back in Sunnydale after this?"

"No clue. I mean, it's all central on what's going on with that kid and his girl. And neither of them is making a whole lot of sense."

"I know what you mean. I get it. Been through hell, can't deal with it all and plus, a hefty dose of self-centred-teenageritis. Wonder how long that spell will take to locate your friend."

"Uh… me an' Cordy were never friends. You know different strokes. Plus she was a class-A bitch and I was… me." Faith shrugged, her usual sultry smirk on her face.

"I can imagine that not going down well."

"About as well as a lit fuse and a shitload of TNT."

"So… she was never a nice person?"

"Well, she wasn't that bad, I mean she was ok, was always around to help out B and her little Scooby gang, but after Xander did the dirt on her with Red she kinda stepped outta that circle and turned into a royal pain in the ass. At least, that's what I heard. Wasn't around for it all. Still… even after that she was around to help. I guess she couldn't have been all bad."

"Yeah… sometimes the strongest loyalty is the one you show to those you want to hate." said Robin as he pulled out some disinfectant. "This'll sting."

"Hit me."

Robin pressed a soaked rag disinfectant to the wound and Faith gripped the seat of her chair, grunting in pain. "Damn. Why is it that the things that are good for ya hurt the most?"

"Got me. Must be some reason." Robin shrugged. "You know, I can't help but worry that Buffy's letting her loyalty to her friend cloud her judgement about the First. I mean… Calista's got a power. If she turned it on the First… I mean she could wipe out the source of Evil. That'd be… Wow."

"Yeah. Wow. Too bad she ain't gonna do it. She's goin' to go after Cordelia."

"What makes you say that?"

"'Cause, faux-Cordy dragged her boyfriend's skinny ass into her little love nest. Calista wants to get her own back."

"Calista doesn't strike me as the vengeance type. Which is surprising if the Holtz guy they all keep talking about is the same Holtz I read about in the Watcher diaries when I was learning my stuff."

"So you like a Watcher in Training? You need a degree in stuffiness to qualify?"

"Nah, but a Watcher raised me. My mom was a Slayer. That's how I'm involved in all this stuff. She was killed when I was a kid by a vampire."

"Damn. Sorry."

"It's cool. I, uh, worked through it." Robin decided not to mention that Spike had been the killer or that he'd tried to kill the vampire himself. Or that Buffy had threatened to let Spike kill him if he tried it again.

"Solid." Faith groaned as she stood up. "Got bandages? I can do that part myself. Kinda need to strip a little for it." She grinned wickedly and Robin grinned back as he handed her the roll.

"Damn, you're denying me a sight."

"Flattery eh? Well you know what they say about flattery. It'll get you everywhere." Faith sauntered away, making sure to swing her hips in a tantalising way, well aware that Robin was watching her. As she walked into the bathroom to bandage her leg she couldn't keep the grin of her face. It'd been a while since she'd flirted with a guy. There hadn't been much room for flirting in prison, not unless you swung a different way. Faith had had to put a good few of the women in the prison hospital before the others had gotten the message that she was not on the menu.

'_Nothing wrong with a little flirting during the apocalypse.'_ she thought to herself wryly. In fact, it was almost required. It kept one sane. And it was a hell of a lot of fun.

* * *

"Angel?"

"Buffy, I really don't want to talk to you right now."

"I just came to say I'm sorry. About what I've been saying about Connor. It's not fair."

"You're right, it's not."

"Ok, I deserve that. I know it's not my place to condemn Connor… I don't know anything about his life-"

"Yeah well you're not alone there." Angel winced as the words left his mouth.

"It's not your fault." said Buffy in a quiet voice.

"Isn't it?"

"No. It's not. You had no control over loosing Connor. You said it yourself, you'd have done anything to get him back."

"And when I got him back I just gave up at the first hurdle."

"Angel-"

"No I did Buffy. I mean I know most parents wouldn't consider being sunk to the bottom of the ocean the first hurdle, more like the definite reason to have their child locked up. But… I'm not like most parents and Connor's not like most children. And he is still a child. I mean it sounds so weird, he's about to become a father, and… but I know he's still a child. My child. My child that I abandoned when I couldn't put up with his problems. My child that I abandoned in favour of the woman I-" Angel froze and met Buffy's eyes briefly. She pressed her lips together, guessing what that missing word was supposed to be. "I just kept putting Connor at the bottom of the list. What kind of father does that?"

"I'm sure you didn't mean to Angel. But sometimes it's easier to ignore a problem than face it." Buffy knew lying would do no good. But she was reluctant to be harsh with Angel. He looked so lost.

"Connor's my son. He's not something I can just put off until its convenient and now look at him!" Angel stood up and looked out the window of Wesley's office. Connor hadn't moved since he'd shut his eyes. He had a surprisingly tranquil expression on his face. But his luminescent skin and silent stance unnerved Angel. Connor was jittery, full of nervous energy. He couldn't sit still for so long. "Something's happened to him and I don't know why or what it is. What if I lose him again? I can't lose my son Buffy."

Buffy put her hand on his shoulder and pulled him away, back to the chair he'd been sitting in. Then she sat in the other chair.

"Angel… I think all you can do now is do your best. Tell Connor the truth about everything, don't hide things from him… and be there for him when he needs you."

"What if I can't even do that?" Angel put his head in his hands, "What if I can't be there for him? I swore I would protect him. I swore no one would hurt him. What happened? He got raised by a bastard that tied him to trees and abandoned him. He was beaten for being my child, and grew up hating me for it. He comes here, he found his way to me and I ignore the fact that he's had a life outside of me. I tried to make him be my son without thinking how hard this must have been for him. You know, on his first day here he saved a girl from some drug dealers only to have her kill herself by overdose a few hours later with him in the next room. Then he ends up in the middle of a shoot out between the drug dealers and the police. Then he's forced to give up the girl he loves because his 'father' commands it of him! All in his first day on earth! And I expected him to be ok with it! God what the hell is wrong with me?"

Buffy crouched beside Angel and put her hand on his shoulder again, squeezing it and then rubbing it.

"I can't imagine what it's been like for you or him. The pain and the fury. I mean… I resented my friends for tearing me out of…" Buffy trailed off, realising she'd never told Angel that she hadn't been in hell, but heaven.

"Tearing you out of what?" Angel looked at her and Buffy knew she'd have to be honest with him. Almost all of Angel's recent life had been ripped apart and thrown at his feet for all to see. He needed someone else to open up to him.

"Ok." Buffy sat back down. "You know the way Willow brought me back from the dead? And you all thought I'd been in a hell dimension?"

"Yeah. Of course."

"Well… I wasn't in hell so much as heaven." Buffy swallowed hard. Even to this day it was still hard to talk about. Angel stared at her in shock.

"Heaven? You were in… are you sure?"

"Pretty sure. It was so… peaceful and I was content and happy and… and it was all torn away from me when my best friends brought me back."

"God Buffy, you didn't say."

"Took a demon turning Sunnydale into a musical for me to admit it to my friends."

"Sweet visited Sunnydale?"

"You've met the guy?"

"I… let's just say that when Angelus and his clan were in Prague in 1870 we sang a cheery tune about massacring the slums."

"Ok… that's creepy."

"Yeah. Creepier when you try to imagine Angelus and William the Bloody doing the waltz together."

"Ok don't tell me any more! Too weird." Buffy held her hands up in defence. "Anyway… it took me ages to get over that. And… ok. Since we're being all open and honest I'm gonna tell you something, but you have to promise that you won't leave that chair. Promise?"

"Promise."

"Ok… the reason I've been so… hard on Connor for what I thought was him raping Calista, was because… well Spike tried to… to me. I just remember feeling so sick and vulnerable and so… I started seeing Connor like an animal. I couldn't stop myself and I'm sorry Angel, I really am. I guess I haven't gotten over the anger of almost being one of those kinds of victims, so… instead of feeling it towards Spike I felt it towards Connor."

Angel sat very still for a good three minutes before growling, "I'm gonna shove a stake right through his-"

"Angel, no! Spike made a mistake, he admitted it and what's more he tried to make up for it. That's why he has a soul now. He earned it for me. To prove himself to me or to be worthy of me, or something like that. He, he…"

"He loves you." finished Angel.

"Yeah. And we've… had relations if you know what I mean."

"Vividly." Angel sounded rather ill.

"But… the thing is… last year, before he tried to… I used him. I couldn't feel anything after being torn out of heaven, so I used Spike to feel. I took advantage of his feelings for me and his vulnerability because of the chip. It led to… badness."

Angel grimaced. Then he said with a heavy sigh, "I guess it's not really any different than my one night stand with Darla. It was a moment of perfect despair."

"And you got Connor out of it. Angel… I don't want to hate your son and I don't want him to hate me. So… I'm gonna try to get along with him. I guess once you have a pregnant girl in a story, the guy gets the crappy end of the stick."

Angel nodded and then his lips wobbled as if he was fighting a chuckle. Buffy frowned, "What?"

"Sorry. I was just thinking about where that phrase comes from."

"Do I want to know?"

"It's the kind of joke a seven year old boy would appreciate more than a fully grown woman."

Buffy narrowed her eyes at him. Angel's smile fell. "Sorry. It's just… I guess I'm so depressed and tired that any old joke will make me laugh."

"I supposed its good to know that you can laugh."

"Yeah… I guess." Angel looked up at Buffy and said, "I still want to kill Spike."

"Don't. He's one of the strongest people we've got. We need him. And I can't let you kill him. It… it wouldn't be right."

"I guess I should try to be understanding… I mean, he has a soul now, and a soul… but he's so annoying Buffy! And he's got it out for Connor."

"I'll tell him to leave Connor alone. He's more interested in caring for Calista than getting back at Connor at the moment anyway."

"Thanks. At the moment I think it's better if we keep a city between us. But I'll settle for a room for now."

"Good." Buffy squeezed his hand. Angel gave her a grateful smile. "Can I ask? About Cordelia?"

"What about her?"

"What… what was between you? I mean were you work buddies? Close friends? Or something… else?"

"Cordelia is my dearest friend. But lately… I thought I was in love with her. I was so sure. But… I've been thinking about it."

"And?"

"And I can't figure out why I thought I could be with Cordelia. Why did I dream about being with her? Why did I think I could? I mean… if I was with her and we… then Angelus would get loose, but that never concerned me when I thought about being with her, you know?"

"So… maybe you weren't as in love with her as you thought." Buffy couldn't pretend that the idea of Angel and Cordy being together both hurt and wigged her out. "I mean if you thought you could be with her in the… altogether sense without the risk of Angelus…"

"I guess so. When Connor was born, Cordy was like his mother, you know? She played with him, cooed over him, cuddled him. She was his mother before we lost him. Which makes the whole thing between them even more disturbing. And I kept thinking, we're a perfect family. I remember there was this one night. We were both really tired, and lying on the bed, and Connor was between us and Cordy was feeding him. We just fell asleep that way. It was picture perfect."

Buffy couldn't help but feel touched and jealous all at once. The way Angel described it made her wonder just how much the ex-cheerleader had changed. It also made her feel incredibly jealous that Cordy got to have that moment with Angel and she hadn't.

"This thing, the Power. It's supposed to have manipulated a whole load of things right? So why not manipulate your feelings for Cordelia? It would make you more reluctant to reject Cordelia over Connor. It would affect your judgement."

"Yeah… I guess that makes sense." Angel rubbed his eyes. "I'm tired. I think I need to sleep on it."

"You do look kinda… worn."

"Thanks."

"I'm just telling it like it is." They locked eyes and smiled at each other. The moment was broken by Wesley and Lorne entering the office.

"Hug your neighbour, kiddies, we got it."

"You got where she is? Where is it?"

"Well, according to the scorch marks, downtown, meat packing district." said Wesley examining the map in his hands.

"Good work." said Angel, taking the map.

"Let's mount up." Buffy ordered to the lobby. "Faith, you and Spike stay here and keep an eye on the wonder kids." The blonde gestured to Connor and Calista. "Giles, you and Robin keep working with the Potentials, Xander, you, Anya and Dawn keep researching. We still need to-"

"No!" snapped Connor, leaping to his feet. Gunn, who'd been standing close to him, watching him with suspicion, leapt away, clutching his chest.

"Connor? What's-"

"No! You can't go after her. She'll just use her magic to kill you. Right now she's too focused on her sacrifice to pay us much mind. But if you get too close she'll kill you." Connor looked very alarmed and his ice chip eyes were flashing.

"Connor… we have to get to Cordy before she manages to get a virgin sacrifice."

"She'll kill you! She has the Bringers protecting her and the First is procuring her sacrifice. We can't go against them all."

"So what do you think we should do kid? Sit on our asses and wait for Mommy-evil to go pop?"

"We need to go to the beach. The answer is there."

"Yeah we were there but without the two keys, you and Calista, we couldn't enter the realm."

"Then lets go." Connor strode over and shook Calista by the shoulder. "Cal… Cal wake up. We have to go. The Beginners are waiting for us."

Calista's eyes snapped open and she sat up. "The Beginners?"

"They're waiting for us."

"Let's go." Connor took Calista's hand and helped her to stand, keeping her steady on her feet. They made their way to the door.

"Hang on! Wait for us!" snapped Spike, chasing after them. "You're not going anywhere without us."

"Then be quick." said Connor, sounding impatient. Calista was gripping his hand tight.

"Bloody hell! You really are Peaches-Junior."

"We're ready." said Buffy, a sword in hand. Angel held the other sword of the pair. "Faith, Spike, you stay here, keep the rest safe."

"Gunn, Wes. You're with us." said Angel.

"Alright! 'bout damn time we got some action." said Gunn, grabbing his favourite axe. Wesley didn't reach for a weapon. He didn't need to. His were all still concealed on his body.

"Wait just one bloody minute! I'm not gonna stay here and play babysitter while you two get to go off and be the bloody heroes of your B-list drama series."

"We need someone to stay here and protect the Potentials. You're one of the strongest fighters we have. I need you to stay here and keep everyone safe."

Buffy's words mollified Spike a little but he still couldn't help but tense with jealousy at the smirk on Angel's face. It was that same smarmy smirk he'd always used, especially when Drusilla had chosen Angelus over Spike. Spike hated it!

"Let Peaches stay here. This is his bloody hotel. He ought to stay here and keep house."

"I know my way around L.A better than you ever could." said Angel.

"Hey! Could you two maybe play your little game of whose ego is bigger some other time? We have to go! We're running out of time." snapped Connor, gripping Calista's elbow now. Calista looked very pale.

Both vampires looked surprised at the sudden force and confidence Connor was displaying and Angel wasn't sure if he liked it or not.

"The matter's closed. Spike stays, Angel goes with us." said Buffy. "Come on. We need to go now."

"Oh fine. I'll play bloody babysitter." snapped Spike looking sour. He lifted himself up onto the lobby desk and folded his arms, trying not to look like he was sulking. Buffy sighed and said to Connor,

"Lead on Aragorn."

Connor nodded, even though he clearly didn't get the reference. "Come on, let's get to the car."

* * *

"Well this is a problem." said the First, pacing around in its lair. At the moment it was maintaining the form of the Slayer, Buffy. As it observed the work being done, work to increase its army, it felt annoyed that it was taking so long. If it wasn't completed soon then the Slayer and her Champion, never mind those two brats, would come here and try to mess up its plans. And that was not happening!

Feeling the need to talk to something that talked back, the First moved back to L.A. Back to where 'Cordelia' was hiding like a rodent.

'Cordelia' was chanting, sitting in her sacred circle.

"How's it coming?" asked the First. 'Cordelia's' eyes popped open and she glared at the First.

"Would be going much faster if someone didn't interrupt me."

"Oh I'm sorry, but I decided to make sure you weren't slacking."

"Slacking? I barely have time to prepare for this ritual. In case you haven't noticed my vessel is almost popped out of this body. It can't contain me for much longer."

"Then you'd better hurry." smirked the First, turning its eyes to the frightened little girl of about 10 that was tied in the corner. A sweet little sacrifice. Doe-eyed and trembling, in a little blue dress and white tights. Blonde hair that had been painstakingly curled, and shiny shoes. She was perfect. The First stared at her and yearned to be the one to spill her blood. How it wanted to grip that soft, pretty hair and use it to expose the pale throat and then draw that large knife across it. The First wanted to feel the blood pouring over its fingers. It wanted to take that life. But it couldn't. That was 'Cordelia's' luck and ability.

"I assume you felt that little earthquake?" asked 'Cordelia' her eyes shut again.

"I did."

"I don't understand what that was. It wasn't the girl."

"No. It was the boy."

'Cordelia' raised one perfect eyebrow in dubiousness, "Connor?"

"Yes. This was not something I'd anticipated."

"Nor I. What does this mean? What is the boy?"

"I'm not sure yet. He seems to be aware of the world, feel it. I don't know what this means."

"I'm guessing this is something those Powers had in their back pockets."

"So do I."

"It wasn't the Powers. Jeeze! Why does everyone, even you two, assume it's always them?"

Both the First and 'Cordelia' grimaced. They knew that voice and that tone.

"Connacht." the First turned around to face the Alku. Connacht smirked at them.

"Hey Firsty, and 'Cordelia'! My you're looking… fat."

Cordelia narrowed her eyes at him. "What the hell are you doing here? You have no power here."

"I know, or else I would have taken that poor child out of here by now."

"Well you can't, buh bye!"

"Oh I'm not leaving yet. I want to talk."

"You want to brag you mean?"

"Brag? Me? No!" Connacht scoffed, then smirked. "Actually…"

"You're not going to win Connacht. We destroyed you once, and we will destroy you for good, as well as undoing all that you've set up for these humans."

"Well we'll just see about that. You think all the power you have will be able to stand up against…" Connacht stopped and smirked even wider, "Actually I'm not gonna tell you what you're up against. You'll just have to see." He patted 'Cordelia's' cheek and grinned at the First. "Now I think I'd better go."

"That's it? You came to state that you know something we don't and then leave?"

"Um… yeah!" Connacht vanished. The First snarled and almost chased after him but 'Cordelia' said,

"Don't. He knows nothing more than we do about what has just happened. He's just trying to annoy us."

"Well he's succeeding."

"Don't worry my sweet. Once my vessel is here and your army is unleashed, we can get rid of those annoying Alku once and for all."

* * *

Reviews are like chocolate, there's never enough of them. Lol

Night's Darkness


	16. Burst to dust

Another week, another chapter. Or thereabouts. Thanks to all my reviewers and readers!

Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 16**

Angel pulled up at the beach and gave Connor a hand in getting Calista to her feet.

"Jesus, what's wrong with her? She's freezing."

"The power. I think it's draining her, taking its toll on her body. We have to hurry."

"Connor, how do you know all this?"

"I just do. I can't explain it. Please dad, we don't have time for questions." Connor turned his eyes to him and they softened a little in pleading. Angel swallowed and nodded, understanding that Connor was very scared.

Together they walked down to the water's edge. The waves just brushed Connor's shoes and Calista giggled a little, looking as dazed as she had before. Her recovery had only been brief.

"Come on Calista. You need to concentrate." Connor pleaded. Calista groaned and lifted one hand. Connor did the same, holding his hand out towards the water and they both whispered something under their breath.

At once the waves began to roll away from them and right where they were standing the water began to split, right to the ground. Connor and Calista started to walk down this path being formed and Angel and the other followed after a moment's hesitation. As they walked down the path the water closed behind them, sealing them in as they passed down below the water level, continuing on until the floor suddenly dropped.

"We've reached the continental shelf." said Wesley. "Now it's an almost vertical drop down to the bottom of the ocean."

"So how do we get-" Gunn was cut off when the floor shifted under Connor's feet and changed to steps, leading downwards. "Ok… anyone else wishing they'd brought a tank of oxygen?"

"It wouldn't do much good down there. The pressure would crush us in less than a second."

"Wesley shut up." said Buffy, gripping her sword tighter as she followed Angel down the steps after Connor and Calista.

Calista was shaking. "Connor, what's happening?"

"It's ok Cal. We're being let in."

"In where?"

"… I'm not sure. But it's ok." Connor turned his head to look at her. Calista trembled a little at the sight of his ice chip eyes. They were so intense and she felt like he was seeing inside her. Connor looked away as if he knew what she was thinking.

"Sorry. I don't mean to scare you."

"I know that." Calista gripped his arm tighter. Connor smiled a little, although he wouldn't meet her eyes as they continued their way down the steep steps.

After what felt like an hour they reached the bottom of the steps, their feet landing on surprisingly smooth ground. Behind them the water closed and they were left in a tunnel through the water.

"Oh God. Anyone else wishing they'd stayed on the surface?" asked Buffy, eyeing the way the water was being kept at bay by an invisible wall. It wasn't solid either, it rippled and stretched, making them all feel even more anxious about it.

"A little." muttered Angel. His memories of being trapped in that box for three months were at the forefront of his mind. He tried to ignore them. Connor drew in a deep breath and said,

"This way. It'll be at the end of the tunnel."

"What will?"

"The door."

They walked on, trying desperately to ignore the frightening and weird fish and other creatures that drifted or rammed into the barrier and then spent time inspecting it.

"Whoa! What the hell is that?" demanded Gunn as a pink, big blue eyed squid with wings on its head drifted by.

"The vampire squid. Vampyroteuthis." said Wesley, eyeing it with some suspicion. "It _would _show up. Why couldn't the Dumbo squid have shown instead?"

"Dumbo? As in Dumbo the flying elephant?" asked Buffy, wrinkling her brow.

"Well, that's what it's named for because it reminds people of Dumbo."

"… I'll never watch that movie the same way again."

"I never really liked Dumbo." said Angel, "It's like Bambi. Too sad. That bit with his mother is so sad. And then that pink elephants part is just… the writers must have been on a serious drug trip when they came up with that."

"Ok, this conversation officially became too weird. Change it now." said Buffy.

Angel grinned a little to himself.

"There it is." said Connor, pointing ahead. There, at the end of the tunnel was a door. It was made of dark wood and was glowing with a vibrant green light. Almost drawn towards it, the group picked up the pace and hurried along. Mercifully for Calista it was not very far and the ground was very smooth, so she didn't trip or tire, although by the time they reached the door Connor was supporting her to the point of carrying her.

The door was made of what looked like ebony and was warm to the touch. Engraved in the wood were images of what appeared to be dinosaurs, but what the group knew now, were in fact demons.

Instead of handles there were two handprints. One was larger than the other.

"I'd bet anything Connor and Calista have to open the door." said Wes.

"Ok, well… here it goes." Connor reached out and pressed his hand into the larger engraving. Calista did the same with the smaller one.

There was a crack like a whip all around them and then a roar. Looking back they saw all the water at the other end of the tunnel was flooding in and was heading for them fast!

"The door!" shouted Angel, pushing his weight against the door. It didn't budge. Connor and Calista hadn't moved. "Connor!"

"Don't fight with it." said Calista in a soft voice. "Don't be afraid."

"How the hell can we not be afraid?" demanded Gunn.

"It's a test. We have to trust that we'll be safe." said Wesley, trying to sound calm, even as the water rushed at them.

"Ok, I'm trusting. Big with the trusting."

Angel stood still, forcing himself to remain calm even though, if he had a heartbeat, it would have been punching through his chest.

"Connor!"

Connor shoved the door and it flew open and they barrelled inside, the doors snapping shut just as the water hit them.

They were surrounded by total darkness, the only sound being their heavy breathing. Then there was a flash of light and flame torches lit up around them. Connor had his arms around Calista, both kneeling on the ground.

"You guys ok?"

"I think I just had a heart attack." said Calista, clutching her chest and shaking in Connor's grip. Connor pushed some hair out of her face and kissed her cheek. Calista pulled away a little when his lips touched her skin.

"It's ok Cal. We're safe here."

"I believe you Connor, I mean… this feels so familiar. I feel like I've been here before. Maybe the seer gave me memories of this place."

"You have memories of being… here?" They looked around, taking in the fact that they were in a small stone room, with torches and the large doors they'd just entered, and a small tunnel leading out of it.

"It feels familiar." Calista got to her feet and Connor pointed towards the tunnel.

"Through there."

"You first." said Buffy, hefting her sword higher. Connor walked on, keeping Calista behind him. Angel sighed to himself as he followed his son.

"Ho-ly Crap!" exclaimed Gunn as they emerged out the other end of the tunnel.

Giant trees towered above them, as big as redwoods. Stairs twisted around the trunks to houses in the trees, like children's tree houses, only they were much more intricate and impressive. There were a couple on the ground as well.

The roof was like a sky of brown stone and green leaves. But that wasn't the thing that had them so shocked, although it wasn't as if they had expected to see a forest of trees under the earths crust! No, it was the fact that the ground was littered with bodies! Brutally slaughter as if a massacre had taken place here in a place that seemed to be a kind of sanctuary. Some were obviously children and the rest looked like teenagers or young adults.

"The Trees! The Cave!" cried Calista, her eyes wide as she looked around. "This is the place I've been seeing in my head."

"Welcome to the home of the Alku."

"Connacht!"

"The one and only." smirked the man as he approached. Behind him stood a huge crowd of people, all with the same demonic aspects. "You people certainly took your time… although I have to say, none of us saw Connor's… thing coming."

"You didn't know whatever happened to Connor was gonna happen?"

"Nope. That came outta left field for all of us. But that's good. Means the First and the Power don't know what to do about him. This changes things."

"In a good way or a bad one?"

"Both. Or, it could be either. It depends."

"On what?"

"On everything."

Gunn narrowed his eyes, "You'd better start making sense or else you'll be in for a world of pain." He glanced at Wesley, "Can he feel pain if he's dead?"

"It depends on the kind of dead he is." said Wesley, sounding a little exasperated. "But I'd go with no."

"And you'd be right. I'm a ghost so… kinda hard to threaten a ghost."

"Speaking of dead, that girl looks dead on her feet, sit her down at once." scolded a woman's voice behind them.

"Ah, some of you have met my mate, Calida."

"Yeah, you're the one who saved Calista and the babies." said Connor. Calida smiled.

"I am. Now please, sit her down." Calida pointed to a stump of a tree. Connor steered Calista to it and Calista sat down with a thump.

"What's wrong with her? She was ok a little while ago."

"It was brief respite from the exhaustion of what's happening inside her. As she gets closer to the birth her energy is being diverted to the ever-growing power reserve inside her. If it's not released soon it'll kill her and the babies and anyone within a tri-city radius."

"But how does she release it?"

"Honestly? We don't know." sighed Connacht, folding his arms as he walked over to them. "We thought we did. We assumed this was one of those deals with Balance. But it's starting to look like it's more than that."

"Deals with who?"

"Balance. The Angel of Balance. It's a very powerful entity, greater than the Powers that Be."

"We've been assuming this whole time that the point of everything was for Calista to reach a moment of perfect balance in her life. Of independence and dependence. Of happiness and sadness. Everything within her would have been balanced out. But now… it doesn't seem to be the case any more. When she reached it, the Angel of Balance would have been able to enter her body and eliminate one of the two great evils. One of them has to be destroyed. The world's been thrown into chaos with two of them around." explained Calida, sitting beside Calista and stroking her hair.

"But this doesn't seem to be the case anymore." grunted Connacht, "Because we never expected this to happen to Connor."

"What has happened to him?"

"Him is standing right here." said Connor in irritation.

"We don't know what happened to you. This is something we never dealt with. I mean, I was the carrier for the Angel of Balance once and Calida was my key to allowing it in. Last time it drove a huge herd of demons into another dimension, to even the playing field."

"We thought it would be the same this time around, mainly because of the… similarities between you two and us physically."

"Yeah, what is with that?" asked Gunn, looking at the four of them.

"I've no idea. We thought it was one thing and now…"

"So you don't know anything?"

"We know a lot. Just not what's going on with Connor and Calista. We know what they are and we know that the Slayer and her friends were brought to L.A. for a reason more than just being muscle. It's all… connected. We just can't find a pen to connect the dots with."

"You know what I am?" asked Calista. "What am I? Am I like you? Like Connor?"

"No. No you're not like us. Not really. Your form is that of a child of two vampires because a normal human body wouldn't have been able to hold all that power. It wouldn't even have been able to hold all the power of what you once were."

"I don't understand."

"Calista, you were sent to Quor-Toth for a reason. And it wasn't to be beaten by Daniel Holtz."

"It was for Connor, I know that. I was sent there… to conceive his children."

"Well… more than that. You were there to protect him."

Calista snorted, "Me? Protect him? The Destroyer of Quor-Toth?"

"Not in a physical sense. In a soul sense. You kept him… oh how to explain it?"

"I get it." said Connor in a quiet voice. "I always knew it."

"Well maybe you'll have more luck than me." Connacht sulked over his inability to make sense. Calida rolled her eyes at her mate.

Connor sat beside Calista and made her look him in the eyes. "You kept me from loosing the goodness in me Cal. You were the one who kept me from giving in to all the badness in my life and just… becoming evil. You kept me from going over the edge."

"Exactly! Calista, because of what you are, you were immune to the poisoning effect of Quor-Toth. The dimension gets inside most creatures, infects them and makes them sick with the evil. Calista, the dimension couldn't touch you. And in loving you, Connor was given a protection from it. Not completely, otherwise he wouldn't have found the strength to survive in there. In being with you, lying with you, he was even cleaned of some of the evil."

Calista was shaking again. "What am I? You keep avoiding it."

"You have to figure it out for yourself. If I could tell you, I would."

"Don't worry sweetheart. You'll get it." soothed Calida.

Wesley was frowning in thought. His mind could almost be heard as it processed everything he'd just heard and what he'd learned before about Quor-Toth, which wasn't much.

"Is she a demon of some kind?"

"Big fat nope." Connacht groaned and then said in a whiny voice, "Come on! You have someone standing here ripping the mick out of the word of what Calista is!"

"Are you always this whiny?" asked Buffy.

"Are you always this self obsessed?" snapped Connacht. Buffy narrowed her eyes at him, but Connacht didn't flinch. Rather he regarded her like a father regarding his spoilt, bold child.

Wesley meanwhile, was doing his best to put it all together. Calista wasn't a demon, she wasn't human, and someone was taking the mick of what she was near Wes. That was when a lightbulb 'dinged' above his head.

"Of course!" he cried, "It makes perfect sense… or near enough."

"What does? Spill English."

"So… they really exist? Like the book says?" Wesley ignored Gunn, giving all his attention to Connacht.

"Of course they do. That book's not all nonsense."

"What book? There's a book now?"

"The most famous book in the world."

"Harry Potter?" asked Buffy, frowning in confusion. Connacht raised an eyebrow in amusement.

"Gotta love a Slayer with a cute sense of humour."

"Connacht, eyes on the ground." said Calida, sounding jealous. Connacht did as she said.

"Just sayin'. I mean, she is one of our better creations. Even if she is going through an 'everyone sucks but me' phase." he muttered

"Excuse me? Did, did you just call me one of your creations?"

"Of course. That's what you are. You're our creation. We were the creators of the Slayer line."

"WHAT?" demanded Buffy, eyes wide.

"We made the Slayer line. Or rather… we gave you humans the idea."

"I'm lost."

"Look, it's quite simple. When we found out about you humans coming, we were told to prepare the world for you. So we did. We forged your beginnings. Your opportunities."

"I don-"

"It's like… we gave you the money, but it was up to you how to spend it. Or, more accurately, we gave you the ideas, but you decided how to put them into practise."

"We gave you people, ideas, names, inventions, all designed to help you survive. The Powers wanted humans to rule the world. That way it would be more balanced."

"A balance of what?"

"Of good and evil. In that aspect, you're very unique. Some of you are very good, some of you are very bad, and some are in between, but there's enough of you around that it balances out."

"Which is why, even if the Powers suck, your work is still so important. You help maintain the balance."

"You really love this balance, don't you?"

"Without it there is nothing, literally, so… yeah!"

"I don't understand how you gave us these things."

"Ok. Take it like this. We knew you'd need champions, people to help protect the population from demons. So… we decided to create a champion for you. One that would go unnoticed for the most part. That's one of the reasons Slayers are girls, since, for a large part of history, they were ignored, which gives them the ability to hide. Also, Calida wouldn't let the council form a champion until we agreed to let it be a girl."

"Girls got a raw deal for most of human history. I had to do something!" said Calida. The woman, who so resembled the girl beside her, was rubbing Calista's stomach and had an arm around Calista's shoulders. Calista was leaning against her, her head on Calida's shoulder.

"Yes, yes, I know. You've said it a million times my love. If I didn't know it now, I'd never know it. Anyway. What we did is we performed a ritual that permeated time. It would put an idea in someone's head or it would ensure a certain person would be conceived and born and raised. That way you humans would continue to advance and get stronger and spread out all over the world."

"We will admit some of our plans didn't work out the way we'd hoped. Like Hitler."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! You created Hitler?"

"We gave Germany a person to help get them back on their feet after the first World War. But that's all we did. We didn't decide how he'd live or what he'd think or believe. If we'd known that he would be a mass murderer we'd never have done it. Have you any idea how hard it was to watch what he did and not be able to stop it because if we had human history would have been irreparably altered?"

"Germany was not happy with the way that plan turned out." admitted Connacht.

"And why should I be?" demanded a new voice. A young man, with brown hair and blue eyes, with sharp nails and teeth like Connacht and Calida walked over to them from the large crowd of people that were watching them. Connacht groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Germany, not now!"

"I don't see why I should be talked about without my own input."

"We weren't talking about you per se. We were trying to explain things to this lot."

"Humph!" Germany narrowed his eyes at the others. Then he leaned over and whispered in Connacht's ear. Connacht sniggered and nodded.

"Boys…" warned Calida.

"Oh, I'm going, I'm going." Germany walked away, saying to himself, "I wonder if Russia and England want to play a game. I'm so bored…"

Connacht watched him leave before returning his attention to the others, "Anyway… where were we?"

"You were explaining how you're responsible for establishing human kind as it is now."

"Oh yes… well actually I was pretty much done."

"What about Calista? You still haven't told us what she is."

"She needs to figure it out for herself."

"She's half dead! The power is killing her! How can she answer an ultimate question like this?" Connor was beginning to sound frantic. Calista was going ashen and her shaking was getting worse. Buffy reached out and touched her forehead. It was like ice and was clammy too.

"We want to help her, we do. But we can't. It's not our place."

"Wesley help! You know what she is, don't you?"

"I think I do, but-"

"Damnit! Tell us what she is!" snapped Angel, grabbing Wesley by the front of his clothes and shaking him.

"She's an angel!" exclaimed Wesley.

"What?"

"She's an angel. That's why Quor-Toth couldn't touch her. She's made from pure goodness. She's immune to evil."

Angel let Wes go and stared at Calista. She didn't look like an angel. She looked like a very sick, pregnant girl.

"How can you be sure?"

"It's the only explanation. Only angels could be immune to pure evil. And it would explain why Calista is a child of two vampires. A human body couldn't contain the power an angel would have."

"I didn't know angels actually existed. I just assumed that name Angel of Balance was just a title, like a sword that's called a tooth."

"Oh they do. They're more powerful than the Powers. Or at least they would be up on their level. Down here though, it's different." said Connacht, shrugging.

"I've heard of angels being sent down to earth for special purposes, but I'd never believed them." said Wesley.

"Most people don't put much value in the idea, but it is true. They've been sent down before."

"Was Ghandi one?"

"No. He was just a very remarkable man."

"Mother Theresa?"

"Again, no. Still just an extraordinary human."

"Oh… who was an angel then?"

"Well-"

"Later Wes!" snapped Connor, before turning to Connacht, "Can't you help Calista?"

"I don't know how. You're one of the keys to this thing. I don't know what you are in it and until we figure out how it all fits together then there's nothing we can do for her. There's only one way to really help her and that's drain the power and she can only do that if she can confront either the First or 'Cordelia'.

"Why only one?"

"Because its one of the reasons we thought Balance was involved. Destroying one would make things more even in the world."

"Ok… so… Connor, do you know what you are?"

"I… I'm not sure. I feel the destruction all around me. But there's nothing evil in it as a whole. It's just… a fact."

"Of course it is. Destruction isn't evil. It's the intent of the destruction that makes it evil or good. You lot destroy for good. There's nothing evil about dieing cells, without them new ones couldn't be formed. Life and death are intertwined. Can't have one without the other, no matter what Aristotle used to think."

"Aristotle was an idiot."

"Yeah, have to agree with you on that my love. I mean, where he got the idea that women were underdeveloped men, I'll never know."

"What?"

"Oh yeah. He did."

"We need to go." said Connor, standing. "Something's happening at the hotel."

"What?"

"Death. Someone's just died. I can feel it."

"Are you sure?"

"YES! We have to go. NOW!"

"Say no more!" Connacht snapped his fingers. There was a flash of white light and the next thing they knew, they were outside the hotel. There was the sound of fighting going on inside.

"Gunn, Wesley, stay with Calista. Connor, you're with us." said Angel, raising his sword. Connor didn't say anything, just followed his dad, while Gunn and Wesley helped Calista stay on her feet.

Inside the lobby it was complete pandemonium.

Spike was fighting three Bringers at once, while Xander, Anya, Fred and Dawn were trying to keep two more away from the books.

"Ok, I'll help Spike, Angel you help Dawn and Connor-" Connor was already heading to the ballroom where the Potentials were. "-will go do that." Buffy sighed a little and then jumped into the fight, with Angel right behind her.

* * *

Connor ran into the training room, where the feeling of death was coming from and wasn't surprised to see two Potentials lying on the ground, dead. The others were desperately trying to fight away at least ten Bringers. Giles, Lorne and Robin were doing their best to protect them, while Willow chanted a couple of spells. But the redhead was struggling, nervous of overdoing it. She'd been avoiding doing lots of magic for so long now and was afraid of getting dark roots and veins again.

"Hey!" called Connor, smiling like a cat that had caught its prey. "Why don't you try a more fair game?" The Bringers turned to him. Connor grinned, "Lets go."

The Bringers lunged for him and Connor leapt into the air, landing right in the middle of them. Then he jumped and spun in the air, knocking three Bringers over. When he landed he grabbed one Bringer and snapped its neck, then elbowed another in the face. Connor's face was alight with excitement; it was amazing to feel so powerful again.

It didn't take Connor long to be surrounded by dead Bringers, but for every one he killed two or three more seemed to show up. Connor was fast and he was good, but he knew that his current strategy wasn't going to last. Even with Giles, Robin, the Potentials and Willow helping him, this wasn't going to work.

_Willow! _

Connor leapt into the air and landed beside Willow and said, "Willow I need your help."

"What?"

"I'm going to give you some of my power and you need to release it."

"What?" Willow looked very alarmed, "Connor, I'm not sure-"

"We have to. It's the only way to get rid of all of them before-"

Vi, one of the Potentials, screamed as a Bringer stabbed her in the stomach and dropped her. Within seconds she was dead.

"-before someone else dies." finished Connor in a quiet voice. The death of the girl rippled through his body and fuelled him in a way he didn't quite understand. "Willow!"

"Do it!" snapped the redhead, looking frightened, but determined.

Connor reached out and took her hand, closing his eyes, concentrating.

* * *

Willow had experienced a lot of things, including the power of evil running through her body at the beginning of the apocalypse, but she was not prepared for the feeling of power Connor was channelling into her. It was like a tidal wave and a feather light touch all at once. She was aware of everything around her in terms of its destruction. The decay of the hotel, Vi and the other dead Potentials' bodies shutting down, the dieing cells in the bodies of the people and creatures around her. Yet none of it was disturbing. It was tranquil.

The power was building up like inside a damn within her, and Willow trembled at the thought of releasing it. However, all too soon Connor was shouting, "Now!" and she threw down the walls of the dam and the power flew out of her. The shock wave knocked everyone to the ground and the Bringers writhed in agony before burning into nothingness. The feeling of tranquillity left Willow and she lay on the ground shaking.

"Neato."

* * *

Reviews are always appreciated

Night's Darkness


	17. Time to go

Hope everyone's still enjoying this fic's new angle.

* * *

**Chapter 17**

"Ok, I'm hoping someone has an explanation for that, because I've had it up to here with surprises like that." said Xander, holding his hand to the top of his head.

"What the hell was that? What made them all… kablooy?"

"Whatever it was it ruined my quiche!" declared Andrew, walking into the lobby, in an apron and oven gloves, carrying a pot containing the burnt quiche. "So I'm assuming it was evil."

Angel ignored the little man and pulled out his phone. He called Wesley. "Wes? Yeah, we don't know but it killed the Bringers. It's safe to bring her in now."

"Bring who?"

"Calista. She's half dead at this point. The power's killing her. I got Gunn and Wes to mind her while we helped out."

"So, did you get any answers at the beach?"

"Not the ones we were looking for but we did find out a few interesting titbits." sighed Buffy. Andrew giggled at the word. Buffy glared at him. Andrew retreated to the kitchen to weep over his quiche.

"Buffy!" shouted Willow as she bolted into the lobby with Connor beside her. Giles, Robin and Lorne were bringing up the rear, looking shaken. "You won't believe what just happened."

"The Bringers blew up?"

"Yes! But that was me Buffy. I did that! Or rather, Connor did it through me." babbled Willow, her eyes wide with excitement.

"What?"

"He got this power and channelled it through me and… poof! Bye, bye Bringers."

"Hey! Connor give us a hand here!" called Gunn as he and Wesley carried Calista in through the door. Connor darted over and swooped Calista into his arms bridal style as if she weighed nothing.

"Dad she's freezing!"

"I'll get a blanket." said Fred,

"What happened?"

"When that shockwave hit us she let out a scream and passed out."

"What was that anyway?"

"Apparently it was Willow, or Connor through Willow. We've not cleared that up yet."

Connor, meanwhile, had lain Calista down on the couch and Fred was helping him wrap her up in a thick blanket. She was barely breathing now.

"How can we expect her to take on faux-Cordy or the First? She can't even move." said Faith. Connor didn't say anything. Reaching out he brushed some of Calista's hair out of her face and then he leaned over and kissed her forehead.

"She'll be able to do it. I know what to do now. I understand everything. I think that shockwave jolted my brain, because everything just fell into place. I don't know if I've always known this, like since I was born, or if I was given all this knowledge when I… embraced this part of me, but let's be glad I have it."

"Sweet. Spill."

"I am Destruction."

Silence followed this almost off-hand remark. Everyone stared at Connor. He was standing in the middle of the lobby now, in a shirt that was almost too big for him, dirty trousers and boots, his skin still had that luminescence and his eyes were almost glowing now. He looked… mismatched to say the least.

"Say again please?"

"I am Destruction. Or… I am at the moment. Once I've done my part I'll… I'm not sure what I'll be."

"Connor, elaboration is a good thing you know."

"It's hard to explain. But Connacht wasn't wrong. This is to do with the Angel of Balance, or rather, it's parents. The two oldest and most important aspects of Balance that come before everything else. Destruction." He pointed to himself, "And Creation." He pointed at Calista.

"Wait, what Angel of Balance? What the hell is he talking about?"

"Just let me talk, let me explain this before you ask questions because the more you ask questions the more confused I'm getting." Connor ran his fingers through his hair again. "I… I grew up and became the Destroyer of Quor-Toth. And I thought that was it. Just of Quor-Toth. But I'm more. I'm Destruction incarnate. I feel destruction going on all around me and it feels amazing. Not in an evil way… but its so powerful and beautiful. It sounds weird, because I never thought of Destruction as beautiful, but it is. Because without Destruction, Creation cannot happen. Without death there is no life."

"Connor, slow down. What does this have to do with everything that's going on? How does this help?"

"Because I understand now. I get why we're all here, I get what needs to be done and why." Connor began to pace, shaking with excitement, "I know how to stop this apocalypse."

"That's… that's great. How?"

"Destruction and Creation are the two most primitive forces for Balance. But it's not that simple. I mean. I'm Destruction, but Calista's the only one who can stop this, but she's Creation. What's more, I was created and Calista was destroyed to be here."

"Huh? Anyone making sense of Riddler here?"

"Of course! Calista's an angel sent down to earth. In order for her to take on her form as it is she had to, in a sense, be destroyed." said Wesley, his eyes huge, "Creation from Destruction and Destruction from Creation. Connor was created, he was conceived. Calista was turned from an angel, a higher being to what she is now, a child of two vampires, like Connor, which is a lower being. I'm guessing that's part of the whole thing. Creation and Destruction intertwined."

"And then when you consider the fact that Calista's carrying Connor's children, which is a creation forged by literal Destruction." added Giles, not entirely sure what was going on, but clever enough to play catch up ahead of the game.

"Yes! Exactly!" Connor clapped his hands. "Destruction and Creation. Creation and Destruction. Eternal, never ending. Miracle, curse, perfection."

"Connor!" Angel grabbed his son and made him stand still. Connor had been moving so fast he was almost a blur. "Slow down. What about the rest of us?"

"Calista needs to destroy the evil. She's the one who has to do it. Even in human/demon form she's still more powerful than the rest of us because of what she once was. She's the only one who can handle all that power. But she doesn't have the key to her own reservoir of power, nor does she have enough power to destroy the First or the Power that Was. That's where we come in."

"We?"

"Willow. You're the only one here who could channel my power into Calista. She needs the power of Destruction to… destroy. Creation cannot destroy anything. It's a fact. Having a part of me inside her, the babies, a part of destruction allows her to use my powers. So Calista needs my power… that I've only just gotten and I can't give to her myself. We need a conduit for it."

Willow whimpered, "But Connor, I mean, I'm all for helping, but what I got from you a few minutes ago, which by the way for anyone who missed the first announcement was how the Bringers went bye bye, it was huge. And I could tell that was the tip of the very big iceberg. What if I sink like the Titanic?"

"What do you mean Willow? You can do anything." Fred smiled at the redhead. She didn't notice the way Kennedy glared at her. "You managed to fight of the Beast's Master and restore Angel's soul."

"Y-yeah… but I went all black eyed and… and if roots start showing it just gets bad, not like no more chocolate left in the world bad, more like flaying people alive and trying to end the world bad."

"Wait… flaying? What?" Gunn looked at the Scoobies, and all of them shifted, looking very uncomfortable.

"Willow… um… Willow went through a dark patch last year. Due to a magic addiction, and a traumatic loss, she um… lost control." Giles was trying to be delicate with the subject, but it still hit the A.I's like a mallet.

"I tried to destroy the world. Nearly managed it." added Willow, nibbling on her lip and looking at everything but the others.

"What stopped you?"

"Yellow crayons." Willow shared a smile with Xander. Anya's brow formed a knot at the bridge of her nose. Then Willow snapped her eyes back to Connor. "A-Anyway, I don't think I can handle all that power in me Connor."

"You'll manage Willow. This is the only way. If we're gonna get that Power out of Cordelia without killing her and having half a shot at keeping her alive and alert, then this is what has to happen. And it's not just Cordy's life on the line. Calista's body can't handle the build up. If it gives we're all dead."

"So no pressure Will." said Xander, narrowing his eyes at Connor.

Willow sat down behind the lobby, thinking hard, her thoughtful face that she'd perfected over the years firmly in place. Then she looked up.

"I'm in."

"Willow!"

"No Buffy. This is something I gotta do… for Cordy if nothing else. I mean, this is the girl who gave up her social life for us. This is the girl who was always there for us, even when she had no need to be. This is the girl Xander and I hurt that night when…" Willow shook her head. "I have to do it. It's Cordy."

Buffy stared hard at Willow and then sighed. "Ok… ok Willow. If you're sure."

"I am. But uh, to be safe, be ready to kill me."

"I'll try."

"Excellent. So we go and find Easy-Bake-Evil, get Willow to transfer peaches-junior's power into Calista's. Calista does her bit, world saved and we can all go home." said Spike, smiling.

"Not yet." said Connor, pinching the bridge of his nose. "There's more to it than just that. We need the Key."

"I thought you and Calista were the keys to this."

"No. We need The Key. It's big, green and swirling… or maybe that's my vision from the headache I'm getting. This sudden burst of knowledge was not meant to fit in my head it seems."

Everyone stared at Connor, and then they looked at Dawn, who tried to make herself as small as possible.

"W-what do you need me for?" she squeaked.

"We need to open a portal to another dimension… or rather, Calista can once she takes on the Key's power. But that means draining Dawn of all her energy, leaving just enough to keep her alive. It'll leave her as a human, with no Key energy left inside her."

"Why another dimension? I thought we were trying to destroy this thing, not send it on a free package holiday."

"We need to purge the other dimensions of its essence, otherwise it won't be completely gone and might be able to come back. This isn't the first time it's made itself corporeal. It's left its mark in other dimensions." Connor was wavering where he stood. Angel put a hand on his shoulder to steady him.

"Ok… so how do we do that?"

"Wait! This energy transfer won't harm my sister?"

"It'll wear her out, but it won't hurt her."

"And she won't have any Key stuff left?"

"No."

"I don't know…"

"Buffy. It's ok. I wanna do this." said Dawn, "If it helps save the world… then go for it."

Buffy stared at her sister, wondering when Dawn had started looking so grown up. At that moment she really looked like a young woman. A normal, human woman. And if Connor was telling the truth, soon she could be it as well as look it. Buffy knew Dawn wouldn't pass up that chance. Still the slayer felt uneasy at how she suddenly wasn't holding the reins. This was not what she was used to, and Connor made her uneasy with this sudden burst of knowledge. It all seemed too easy.

"What about the rest of us?"

"We need protection. Lots of it. My guess is there'll be more of those robed guys wherever Cordy is. That's where you all come in."

"Thank god its still dark." said Angel, glancing out the window. Connor nodded.

"So the rest of us are muscle?"

"Basically yes."

Calista moaned and sat up, clutching her head. Blinking, she looked up at Connor and said, "I wasn't dreaming all that stuff you just said, was I?"

"Sorry Cal. How do you feel?"

"Weak. Tired. And heavy. Very heavy."

"It'll be over soon. Once you get the power boost, you'll have more energy and then once this is done, you can sleep."

"That sounds good." Then Calista began to giggle as she got to her feet, struggling for balance. "You know this is really funny! It really is so funny."

"What's so funny about it?" asked Gunn, sounding uncertain.

"I'm an angel. I am an angel! That's really funny considering I've been told all my life I've been set for hell. That is just so funny considering how much of a sinner I am. I must be another Lucifer! God must really hate me if he sent me to Quor-Toth." The giggles were hysterical, and tears were falling down her cheeks. Connor walked over to her and hugged her, letting her bury her face in his chest. He rubbed her back.

"Cal, God doesn't hate you. Why would he have you being the one to stop this evil, if he hated you? You might have been one of his favourite and best angels, and he sent you down because you were the best one for the job."

Calista let out a hiccup of a laugh. "I doubt it."

Connor pulled away a little and held her head in his hands, kissing her brow and burying his nose in her hair. "You're still an angel to me." he whispered, just for her to hear. Calista smiled a little and reached up to squeeze his hand. Connor pulled away and smiled at her. "Ready?"

"As I'll ever be."

"Ok. Let's go."

"Wait. We've no plan."

"Well then… lets make one."

* * *

Reviews are always appreciated!

Night's Darkness


	18. Creative Destruction

Ok, here's the big battle at long last! Don't have much to say, except thank you for reading and reviewing.

Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 18**

"Fred?"

Fred turned around in surprise. "Wesley! Hi. What is it?"

"I just came to see if you were all right."

"I'm… I'm fine. I just… I can't get over all of this. I mean, Connor's Destruction incarnate. It's just so unbelievable."

"I know what you mean. You didn't see that cave."

"What was it like?"

"Huge. Big enough to house L.A in it with some room to spare I'd say, and it was full of trees. And there were bodies, everywhere, all so young and fragile looking. For some reason they were preserved as if it had just happened. To think it's our fault in a way."

"Our fault? We hadn't even evolved."

"True. But it was only after the Powers had gotten them to ensure our species would rule the world that they were slaughtered. So in a way it is our fault. If we didn't exist, they might still be around."

"We had no control over it. But I get what ya mean." Fred sat down on the desk, hugging herself. "Wes… do you think this is going to work?"

"Connor is confident it will."

"No offence, but Connor's… not what you'd call stable himself. And this is a hell of a lot to ask of us. It's a big leap of faith. Connor's never really been with us or against us."

"To my knowledge, we never really gave him a reason to be on our side. After all, weren't you the one who tasered him after you found out what he'd done to Angel?"

Fred blushed. After she'd cooled down, she'd regretted that, even though to this day, she was angry about how Connor had lied to her. She'd thought they'd been getting along, and she'd tried to be kind to him. In her eyes, Connor had taken advantage of that.

"Yeah well… I'm not as timid as I used to be."

"No. No you're not." agreed Wesley, his eyes boring into Fred's. Fred blushed and looked away.

"God, I'm so nervous. What if Willow can't handle all this power… or what if Calista can't use it and it makes her, you know, explode? I mean, if it kills the evil, all well and good but… we're gonna be there too and I don't really fancy diein' tonight."

"I have to admit I'm with you on the concern for Calista. She's rather delicate, and even if she manages to defeat the Power, I'm worried what all this power and stress has done to the babies."

"You think it might have killed them?"

"No… but it might have harmed them, or affected their growth. And we don't even know if they're human since they're suppose to be the reason Connor's powers can be given to Calista."

"Well… let's hope for two little humans. Two girls. With blonde hair and blue eyes, and when they're older their auntie Fred'll dress them up in pretty dresses and take them to the park." Fred smiled at the thought.

"What if they're boys?"

"Oh… well, I can still take them to the park, maybe even dress them in little sailor suits."

"So they'd hate you forever? Trust me Fred, sailor suits are to be avoided at all costs. I would know."

"What? Your mum made you wear one?"

"Much as it pains me to admit it, yes. And there's probably still some photographic evidence back home that will remain forever just to humiliate me." Wesley smiled a little. Fred giggled.

"That's cute."

"No it's mortifying and I cannot believe I told you. I must be sleep deprived."

"That's definitely a possibility."

Wesley nodded his head and sauntered closer to Fred, who shifted a little, aware of his intense eyes focused on her. "Fred… I…"

"Charles and I broke up!" she blurted. Then winced. Why in the world had she said that? Wesley blinked and seemed to scramble for words for a moment.

"I'm… I really, really wish I could say I'm sorry and mean it, but I can't."

"It's ok, I mean, my choice. Things with Charles… they just stopped working, you know?"

"I can imagine… but this apocalypse hasn't been easy for any of us."

"Yeah, like you and Lilah." Fred grimaced at the harsh tone that came out at the mention of the woman's name. "Sorry. I know you… um…"

"I cared about Lilah, which is remarkable since she was evil, but in her own way… I think she cared for me too. But… it wouldn't have lasted."

"You miss her?"

"Yes. I can't deny it. But… I wasn't in love with her. That particular feeling was for someone else." Wesley's eyes were penetrating her again and Fred half wished he'd stop and half wished he'd never stop.

"Oh."

"Fred…" Wesley drew in a deep breath, then took Fred's chin and kissed her on the lips. Fred responded at once, wrapping her arms around his neck. Wesley smelled like musk and books, two smells Fred could appreciate immensely.

"Hey, Freddy-bear have you seen-oh!"

The two of them separated to see Lorne staring at them with a knowing grin. "'Bout time kiddo's. I'll leave you two lovebirds to it." And the green demon spun on his heels, humming 'Love is in the Air' as he bounced away.

* * *

"Ok Potentials, mount up! We're about to move out."

"Alright! Finally!" said Kennedy, jumping to her feet.

"What's the plan Buffy?" asked Molly. The young slayer was still shaking from the Bringers attack and Vi and the other girls' deaths. Buffy felt sorry for her, but knew they couldn't waste time mourning at the moment.

"We find Cordelia, and let the Wonder kids and Willow and Dawn do their stuff while we kick Bringer ass."

"Love it." Kennedy grabbed her sword.

"Glad to see it's been so well planned." said Rona, grabbing her own sword.

"I can't believe Dawn's gonna be a part of this whole thing."

'_Boy, neither can I. Son or not, if Connor gets Dawn killed, he's dead, and not even Angel will stop me.'_ thought Buffy to herself as she watched the Potentials get their weapons ready.

"Ready?"

"READY!" they cried.

"Let's move out."

Leading them out of the hotel, Buffy got them to barrel into the school bus still parked outside the hotel. Connor, Calista, Willow and Dawn were going over the final things. Willow looked a little queasy with nerves, Dawn was shaking with excitement and anxiousness, Connor was calm, and Calista was grey. Buffy didn't see how they'd get the girl to do what she needed to do. She looked like one good hit would kill her. Still, it was the only plan they had.

* * *

"They're coming." called the First to 'Cordelia', appearing beside her.

"Now?" 'Cordelia's' eyes were huge with fear and fury. "I'm not ready."

"What is taking so long?"

"Well for starters I'm doing this on my own. That means I needed to tweak the spell, which means I have to chant for longer and-"

"Spare me the lecture. Just do it now. They'll be here in… oh… three minutes."

"That's not enough time! You need to stall them."

"Oh my sweet, I can't do that. One of us has to go down. And I'm afraid it's age before beauty."

"I was forge in the inferno of creation!"

"I was here before time."

"Without me you won't be able to plunge the world into a hell unlike anything ever known."

"That's what you think, but to be fair, whose been doing the leg work here?"

"Oh! Leave me be. I need to finish this ritual."

"You won't be finishing anything."

'Cordelia' growled at the sight of that damn Alku again.

"You have no power-"

Connacht snapped his fingers and 'Cordelia' vanished in a flash of light. Connacht smirked at the surprised First.

"I'm thinkin' I do."

The First growled and then morphed into its true form, lunging at Connacht. Connacht vanished and made his way across the world, leading the First Evil on a merry chase around the world.

"I managed to aggravate you when I was alive, and now that I'm dead, I'm even more capable of doing it." sneered Connacht. "You can't possess a spirit you idiot!"

The First smirked, "Maybe not. But in the time its taken me to chase you to China, that little girl is already dead at my Bringer's hands."

"NO!" Connacht's smile vanished and he bolted back to the warehouse, to find the tiny little girl splayed out on the ground, her throat slit and her eyes wide with fright. Connacht fell to his knees beside her.

"You bastard."

The First smirked and morphed into the form of Daniel Holtz.

"It was your own fault. Your cockiness and that little trick with my ally, meant you deserved to be punished."

"So you murdered this innocent child!"

"It was the best form of punishment for you."

"You bastard!" Connacht jumped to his feet and lunged at the First, only to halt just before he touched it. Then he drew back. He stared at the ground for a moment and then looked up, smiling like a maniac. Then he vanished.

The First frowned in confusion as it followed him, back to Sunnydale, back to the Hellmouth.

Connacht was standing on a ledge above the First's army, observing the Turok-Han crammed like thousands of sardines down in the vast cavern.

"Nice army."

"I try."

Connacht's eyes wandered over the walls and roof of the cavern and then he smiled.

"Trying ain't good enough my evil friend."

Putting two fingers in his mouth, Connacht whistled shrilly. Every single Turok-Han looked at him, and as they did, spirits flew from below the ground up towards the walls and roof. Connacht grinned as his people found the fault line in the cave and attacked it.

"What- NO!" shouted the First in horror and fury as the cave began to collapse in on itself. The First roared but it did little to help. "You think this will defeat me?"

"Hell no. But it'll slow you down for a couple of weeks. That's all I'm after. I'll let the Slayer have the honour of beating you."

"The Slayer line will end, and once my army has covered the world in my power I will make sure that you and your annoying, will not stay dead people will be eradicated for good!"

"Ghost, remember?"

"Ghosts can still be destroyed."

"Yeah, well, we'll see."

* * *

The bus had no sooner arrived in the area of the meatpacking district that it was attacked by a small army of Bringers. Shooting at the bus from the warehouses, the Bringers managed to puncture the wheels and skid the bus to a halt.

"Everybody out now!" shouted Faith, kicking open the emergency exit. Robin, who'd been driving, opened the other door and ushered the girls out. Connor, Willow, Dawn and Calista followed them at a slower pace.

"Dad! We need some cover here." called Connor.

Angel and Spike both ran over to them and helped protect them as they hurried along down the street.

"Where're we going?"

"We're looking for Cordelia." said Connor, "I can smell her, she's near."

A bolt of red energy sent them flying back, crashing into the ground.

"Actually, she's here." smirked 'Cordelia' walking out onto the street from an ally. Connacht may have transported her away from her sacrifice, but the ex-Power was still very powerful and, currently, very pissed.

Willow stared at the ex-cheerleader. Gone was the long, luxurious dark hair that had been a crowning glory for Queen C, replaced with a highlighted bob that was rather alluring on her. However, Willow could not say the same for her choice of clothing. Pregnant tramp anyone?

"Willow, so good to see you again. Oh and just for the record," 'Cordelia' flicked her wrist at Willow who cried out in pain as her brain began to twist inside her head, or that's what it felt like anyway. When it passed the witch was left shaking. "That was for making me bite my tongue."

Willow got to her feet, helping Dawn up. Connor was getting Calista to her feet, but was having trouble doing it. 'Cordelia' looked at the girl and laughed,

"This is what you left me for Connor? Sure looks like you made the wrong choice." Connor narrowed his eyes, but he said nothing. "Your mate looks like she's dead, not like it matters since in a few moments she's gonna be."

'Cordelia' reached out with a hand as if to grab Calista around the neck and her eyes went white, "Vajra'ha'esh!"

Calista grabbed at her neck and choked. She pulled at something no one could see, but weak as she was, she was already passing out.

"Disparu!" snapped Willow, throwing her hand out at 'Cordelia'. 'Cordelia' stumbled and Calista sagged in Connor's arms. Connor sat her on the ground and whispered

"Hang on Cal, just a few minutes more." Then he left her side and ran to Willow and Dawn, "Willow we can't wait."

"Ok. Connor, Dawnie, hold my hands." ordered Willow, her eyes going black. Willow lowered her head and Connor and Dawn grabbed her hands. She began to chant under her breath and Connor began to disappear into the blackness again, while Dawn began to glow with a green, swirling energy. Dawn began to scream, throwing her head back.

"Dawn!" Buffy tried to run to her sister, but Bringers and Giles got in her way.

"Trust them Buffy."

"He said it wouldn't hurt her."

"No, he said it wouldn't harm her, there's a difference. Duck!"

Buffy ducked as Giles beheaded a Bringer that had been sneaking up behind her. Giles continued, "If you can't trust Connor, then trust Willow. She'll keep Dawn safe."

Buffy grimaced as her sister screamed again, but managed to turn away and continue hacking at the Bringers. Each scream from Dawn spurred her on.

'Cordelia' snarled and frowned in confusion. What the hell did Glinda think she was doing? Did she think she could stop 'Cordelia'? There was only one person who could and she was about to have the life choked out of her. Cordelia reached out a hand and clawed it. Calista's cry was caught in her throat as Cordelia began to close it. She savoured the feeling of the girl's body dieing, feeling her organs work overtime to try to stay alive. It was a delightful feeling for the ex-Power.

Willow trembled with the power flowing through her, Dawn's Key energy and Connor's… whatever it was. Alone they were insanely powerful, together… Willow thought she would explode. The power writhed within her, trying to escape, but Willow held on tight to it. As it built up inside her she began to glow green and black.

"Angel!" she shouted, "Get Calista!"

Angel punched through a Bringer's head and ran to Calista. To his horror, she wasn't breathing, her lips were blue. Looking up he met the cold brown eyes of 'Cordelia', her hand squeezing air, or so it seemed. She was choking Calista! Angel lifted Calista into his arms, while Spike covered him from the Bringers.

Laying Calista down before Willow, rather like a sacrifice he couldn't help but think, Angel leapt away as Willow let go of Connor and Dawn, who both collapsed, and slammed her hands down onto Calista's chest. Calista jerked, arching her back like she'd been electrocuted. Willow screamed as the power tore through her and into Calista.

Calista began to glow, but instead of black or green, she began to glow white. It started in her stomach and then spread through her body. Her eyes snapped open.

"Oh shit." cursed 'Cordelia', staring down at the girl. This was not good!

Willow groaned and fell to the side. Calista continued to glow, getting brighter and brighter, until everyone had to shield their eyes. Then there was a scream. It was high, clear and made them all tremble to hear it.

The light faded a little and they were able to open their eyes. In shock and awe they fell to their knees. Except for 'Cordelia', who tried to run.

There, in the sky, with giant white wings protruding from her shoulder blades, in a white robe and glowing skin, was Calista. Her face was blank of all emotion, and as 'Cordelia' tried to run, Calista reached out one hand and 'Cordelia' was flung up into the air. Once level with Calista, 'Cordelia's' limbs were splayed out so she looked like the Vitruvian man by Da Vinci.

'Cordelia' struggled, snarling at Calista who said nothing.

"You idiot! You think you can really stop this apocalypse? It doesn't matter how much power you get, you're still just a pathetic whore who couldn't get off her back!"

Calista's face didn't change, but her eyes flashed for a moment. Calista threw her hands out at 'Cordelia' and it was as if the angel exploded! Power shot out of her hands, and flew around the two of them. The white light wrapped around 'Cordelia' and then smashed through her stomach, coming out the other side. 'Cordelia' screamed in agony, then her head fell back. The next thing they knew, Cordelia was falling through the air, heading straight for the ground.

"Cordy!" shouted Angel, running forward, knowing he wouldn't be quick enough.

Willow, barely conscious, threw her hand out and whispered, "Tardus cado."

Cordelia began to slow and by the time Angel was able to grab her, she was almost floating. As soon as Angel had her Willow passed out, blood seeping out of her nose.

Meanwhile, above them, Calista's white light was flowing out of her so fast it was filling the sky like a giant star, covering the entire city. They couldn't see her anymore, she was lost within the light.

There was a ripping sound and a blue portal appeared below the white light. There was a scream as something was sucked out of it and into the light. Green and red light began to flash against the white, fighting back. Black lightning struck the ground, hitting the Bringers, reducing them to charred flesh in a second. One struck near Faith and Robin pulled her towards him to avoid it. Faith grinned to herself despite what was happening around her.

Meanwhile Buffy had crawled her way to her sister and Willow, wrapping her arms around them both, holding them close. Anya was shaking in Xander's arms, muttering about happy things like money to herself, clutching his shirt. Fred and Wesley were holding hands so tight they were in danger of breaking bones. Andrew whimpered and gripped Giles' arm. Giles couldn't take his eyes off what was happening. Gunn and Lorne were trying to sooth the terrified Potentials, while Spike just stared helplessly up at the sky.

Angel watched the battle of light going on, shaking hard, Cordelia in his lap. He couldn't believe what he was seeing. He also couldn't believe that his innocent grandchildren were caught up in the very middle of it.

"Dad!" called Connor, sprawled out on the ground. His skin wasn't glowing any more, and his eyes were back to normal. Blood was falling from his nose and his mouth and he was reaching out to his father.

"I'm here Connor!" Angel crawled over to his son, leaving Cordelia with Spike, lifting his head into his lap. Connor's hair was very soft in his fingers

"What if she can't do it? I thought it was supposed to be quick."

"It's ok son, she can do it."

"I can't lose her dad."

"You won't. I swear Connor, you won't!" Angel looked up as there was an inhuman roar above their heads. He prayed it didn't belong to Calista.

"She can do it!" shouted Connacht over the noise as he crouched beside them, having appeared from nowhere. "She has the power to do it and the strength inside her. Have faith in her Connor." Connor looked into the Alku's eyes and nodded,

"Come on Calista! You can do it!" he screamed like he was at a hockey match.

"Come on!" shouted Angel.

"You can do it girl!" cried Gunn, hearing them encouraging her.

"Kick that Power's ass!" shouted Faith. The ground trembled under them and the portal snapped shut. The white light seemed to get stronger, brighter, larger. Angel covered Connor with his own body and shielded his eyes as he realised what was going to happen.

There was an explosion that shook through the whole world, singeing all of them with the heat, but leaving them otherwise unharmed. The Potentials screamed. Connor yelled and Angel held him close.

Then all at once it vanished. The light vanished and the ground was still. There was silence. Then-

"No!" shouted Connacht, looking helplessly up at the sky. Angel's head snapped up.

"Jesus no!" he shouted, watching Calista fall out of the sky. Her wings were gone, her robe had become her original clothes and she was falling out the sky like an atomic bomb.

"Calista!" screamed Connor, trying to get up. But he was too weak. And Willow was unconscious.

"Spike!" Angel shouted, getting up and darting forward. He didn't have to say anymore as Spike joined him and they both held their arms out. "There's no way we'll be able to save her like this."

"We're gonna try!" snarled Spike.

"Catch her!" said Angel, grabbing Spike about the waist and throwing him into the air. Spike grabbed Calista and this managed to slow her fall enough that Angel was able to cushion her when she and his grandchilde crashed into him. Angel's head smashed against the ground and he groaned as he saw stars.

"Bollocks!" snarled Spike, sounding like he was hurt too, but that wasn't the reason behind his cursing. "She's not breathin'!"

Angel tried to sit up, but was only able to once Spike got off him. Spike was right. Calista wasn't breathing and her heartbeat was almost gone.

"WESLEY!" he screamed. The ex-watcher was at his side in an instant. "Save her Wesley."

"Get out of the way Angel." snapped Wesley. "Giles!"

Giles shook Andrew off him and joined his fellow Englishman. Together they began to perform CPR on Calista. Giles applied the pressure to her chest, while Wesley blew into her lungs, trying to force her to breath again.

"Calista?" Connor called, tears streaming down his cheeks. Angel wrapped his arms around his son as he tried to crawl to his mate. "Let me go dad!"

"Connor, there's nothing you can do. Let Wes and Giles try." said Angel, having no trouble holding onto Connor when he was so weak. Connor began to cry in earnest.

"Don't die Cal. Please don't die."

"Damnit girl! You are not leaving us now!" snapped Giles as he continued to pump Calista's chest. Wesley bent down and breathed into Calista's lungs again. This time though Calista began to cough against the air being forced into her and continued to cough when Wesley pulled away.

Giles and Wesley pulled Calista into a sitting position and held her there while she coughed and choked and began to cry. Connor strained against Angel's grip and Angel let him go.

"Cal! Calista!" Connor crawled over to Calista and threw his arms around her. Calista latched onto him and began to sob on his shoulder. "It's ok Cal. It's ok. You did it! You destroyed the Power."

Calista said nothing. She only cried harder.

* * *

Hope this satisfied everyone. More soon, I promise. Reviews are always appreciated!

Night's Darkness


	19. Aftermath

Here's another chapter just before I go on my hols for ten days.

Enjoy! Loads more still to come.

* * *

**Chapter 19**

Angel watched over his son and his son's mate as they slept, both looking so innocent and pure in sleep. After Calista had stopped crying she'd either fallen asleep or passed out and Connor had done the same. Cordelia had still been unconscious, as had Willow and Dawn, so they'd carried them all back to the bus and driven back to the hotel on the flat wheels, feeling shaken and exhausted.

Cordelia had been put in her room, and Fred was keeping an eye on her at the moment, while Gunn and Wesley and Lorne rested. Buffy was watching over Dawn, while Xander was watching Willow. Angel was watching over Connor and Calista. Thus far, none of them had woken.

"Don't expect them to until tomorrow. This took a hell of a lot out of them." Connacht had said when they'd gathered in the lobby after putting the four to bed. He'd been waiting for them.

"So… the Power's destroyed?" Angel had asked, needing clarification.

"There's not even a quark left of it. It finally got what was coming to it." When the remaining crew had looked at him, he'd shrugged, "Who do you think convinced the other Powers to destroy me and my people? We were getting too powerful. More powerful than them. That would have put a damper on its plans to assume world control. So it got rid of us and decided to bid its time. Its alliance with the First wasn't recent you know. It's a pretty old pact."

"What about the First? What do we do about it?" Buffy had wondered, her brow drawn into a frown.

"Well… you could ignore it until that army of its manages to squirm its way out of that cave in my people caused while you were fighting the Power. Or, when you're ready, you can go and face it."

"I thought we could only kill one of the evils."

"I never said that. Calista could only kill one of the evils, and she did. But she needed your help to do it. Without Willow and Dawn to help her and Connor, we'd all be dead right now."

"What about the First?"

"Well… it's still a major problem, but… there's a way to defeat it, and shut down the hellmouth."

"So tell us."

"I can't. Again with the none interfering rule."

"You seemed to bend it a lot before."

"Not really. You came to me seeking answers. That's different than me just showing up and telling you all. Wesley was the one who realised and revealed what Calista was. Connor's brain was able to connect to his mystical connection to Destruction."

"I thought Connor was Destruction."

"In his own right he is, but real Destruction, the head honcho, was still up there with the real Creation."

"I'm confused."

"Ok, Connor's an impossibility, right?"

"Right."

"So do you know how he was created?"

"Peaches and Darla getting' it on?" Spike had offered, smirking, even as he sat down with tiredness.

"Yes, but before that, Angel had earned a life."

"The Trials! But I failed them. It was to give Darla a second chance, to get rid of her heart condition. That didn't happen."

"Maybe, but you'd still earned a life. And so, any woman you slept with after that would have conceived Connor. The Power knew it, so it began to plan on how to use him to its advantage."

"An impossible birth to make one possible."

"Exactly. What I think happened was, while the other Powers were ignorant of this, Balance, Destruction, Creation and the All weren't."

"The All?"

"The All… I don't what it is. It's something bigger than the Powers, it's everything… its-"

"God?"

"Closest analogy I can think of, although I'm not sure if the long white beard and the yellow skin of the Simpsons God would fit this. Anyway. They knew what was happening, but… for whatever reason they couldn't just stop it. So Destruction made a connection with the life Angel had earned, the one the Power planned to use. Connor. Destruction became a part of him, they are… connected, sort of like Connor's his… ambassador or spokesman. With this mystical connection, Connor was able to survive in Quor-Toth, but he was afraid of this ability he had to destroy. So he never embraced it fully. When he got angry with all of you for being so heartless towards him he got overwhelmed with the anger and channelled it into destruction, which is what he's best at. Calista wasn't afraid of him though, which was what he'd always been afraid of. So… he stopped fighting it. He embraced Destruction, accepted that he was a part of it. In doing so, he was able to access the knowledge he needed to realise that Willow and Dawn were crucial to the whole thing."

"Go kiddo." said Lorne, pouring himself a seabreeze.

"Yeah…" Connacht crossed his arms, frowning.

"Will they be ok? Will Cordy be ok?"

"She won't be evil or anything but it'll probably take time for her to be back to her usual friendly, vision having, part demon, sweet if occasionally shallow self. She's been through a lot. Near as I know, she was aware of everything that was going on, but had no control over it."

"Oh poor Cordy."

"Yeah, so… you'll probably see for yourself what's she's gonna be like."

"What about Dawn and Willow?"

"Oh Willow will be right as rain as soon as she's rested, Dawn might be a little out of it while her body adjusts to no longer holding all that power, but in a few days she'll be fine, a normal teenager, or as normal as can be considering the life she leads."

"So she's just human?"

"As human as half the people in this room."

"Connor? Will he be ok?"

"Well… I'd say he'll be like Dawn, a bit out of it, but pretty much back to his broody self when he gets used to his connection with the world."

"So that's not gonna go away?"

"Not really. It's not gonna be as intense as it was, but it's a very important part of who he is. He'll have to accept it."

"Any powers we should know about?"

"Well… I honestly don't know. Connor was a surprise for us as much as he was for you."

"That's not possible." said Angel without blinking. Connacht chuckled,

"I suppose not for you Angel. But at the end of the day, I've no idea what Connor could do. He's gonna be a continuous surprise. But he is a champion like you, and he is a warrior, and that's where he'll shine."

"What about Calista? What about the babies?"

"Calista… I've no idea what to say about her. She's an angel descended into a child of two vampires so that she could be with Connor and ensure the Power didn't succeed."

"So she was born to another two vampires?"

"Oh no, she was… formed, and left where Daniel would find her. To be honest we're not sure about her either. Her backstory's unknown to us before she was turned into a baby for Holtz to find."

"So… she could be centuries old."

"Forget centuries, try old as time! That's the kind of thing we're talking about. Only, there's no point in hoping she'll be able to tell you which came first the chicken or the egg, 'cause she wouldn't remember. All her memories of that time would have been wiped or repressed. She wouldn't have been able to comprehend them in the form she is now."

"So… she's just another child of two vampires, nothing more?"

"Well in a way yes, in a way no. I really amn't sure. And I'd best be going. I've said more than I should've."

"So… we still have the First to deal with?"

"Yeah, but I'd say you'll have a birth to handle first."

"Oh right. Calista still has to have the babies." Fred had looked surprised. "I'd forgotten about that." By the look on Angel's face it had been clear he had too.

"We're gonna have two tiny babies here soon! Oh that's so cool!" Buffy had grinned for a moment.

"I need to sit down." Angel had collapsed into a chair.

"What about the babies? Will they be ok?" Wesley had asked.

"Should be. Now I really have to go." Connacht had vanished before anyone could say another word. They'd all separated, either to sleep or watch over the others.

That was where Angel was now. Connor was sleeping soundly. His skin didn't have that luminescent aspect to it anymore, but his hair seemed thicker and darker than before. Angel couldn't understand how Connor was so thin, he knew when the boy ate, he ate everything in sight, so how come he hadn't put on any weight since he'd arrived here from Quor-Toth?

Calista stirred beside Connor and wrapped her arms around her stomach, one hand rubbing it. A little colour was returning to her skin, but Angel knew she would take longer to recover. And then there was the birth to think of.

Angel shifted in his seat, contemplating his grandchildren. What would they look like? Would they be boys or girls? Or both? Did Connor and Calista have any ideas for names? How would they raise them? Here? Or would they want a place of their own?

Glancing at the bedside cabinet, Angel picked up the book that was sitting on it. It was a pregnancy book, old, torn, and dog-eared. Had to be at least third-hand. There was a page marked. Angel opened it there and began to read. He knew Connor hadn't a clue about these things, so he decided to brush himself up on the last few weeks as well as the birthing process itself, just in case.

He didn't know when he dozed off, but he must have because he jerked awake when a hand clapped on his shoulder and knocked him out of the chair. Angel groaned and looked up. Spike smirked down at him.

"I'll take watch for a while Captain Forehead."

Angel got to his feet, glaring at Spike, whose smirk only widened. Then Angel sighed,

"Even think about lighting up in here and I'll have you kissing sunlight, got it Peroxide boy?"

"Aye, aye." Spike rolled his eyes and plopped into the chair. Angel ruffled Connor's hair and touched Calista's cheek and stomach before leaving. Then he went to check on Cordelia. Wesley had replaced Fred and the Watcher was reading a book.

Fred and Lorne had cleaned and changed Cordelia, and as they'd done so, they'd examined her, looking for any sign of an injury. There hadn't been one. It was as if Cordelia had never been pregnant.

"Any change?"

"Oh. Angel, no, no change."

"Ok… you'll let me know if she does?"

"Of course."

"Wes, do you think she'll be the same person?"

"I don't know… to have to watch through her own eyes and be helpless… I'm sure it'll take some time before we have our Cordy back."

"Yeah… it'll take time."

"Well, while you're waiting could you get me a hot chocolate?"

Both men looked at the bed, to see Cordelia propped up on her elbows, smiling at them like Sleeping Beauty just woken from her sleep. "Hey guys."

"Cordy?" Angel sat down on the edge of the bed, staring at her in amazement. Her skin was glowing and, although she looked a little tired, there was no mistaking his Cordelia.

"Hey Angel… oh my God!" She threw her arms around him, hugging him so tight he was actually in danger of getting a rib broken. "You have no idea how good it is to be able to hug you and talk to you and… oh my God!" Cordy began to cry. Angel held her close, rocking her,

"It's ok Cordy, its over now. It's ok."

"No it's not, all those people she killed with my hands, all the lies and manipulation and… oh god, Connor! What'll he think of me? He must hate me so much."

"He doesn't hate you. He understands, probably a little better than we do about what was happening to you."

"Do you think he'll ever forgive me?"

"There's nothing to forgive."

"Angel, everyone's gonna look at me and wonder if its really me, or if it's a trick. I don't know if I can face that."

"You're stronger than this Cordy. Now I need you to be strong, and to have faith in those around you. Can you do that for me?"

"I… I can try."

"Good." Angel wiped away a few tears from Cordy's cheek. Then he kissed her brow. Cordy smiled at his touch. "I'm gonna need you. Calista's gonna have her babies soon and I'm gonna need you to hold down baby fort, that is… if you're up to it."

"You want me to handle things like dirty diapers, a sink full of sticky bottles and a basket full of clothes covered in baby sick?" Cordelia stared at him with a dubious expression.

"Well I just-"

"Sign me up!" Cordy grinned, and then squealed, "Oh my god, to think you only became a father last year, and now you're gonna be a grandfather, and to twins! Oh! I cannot wait!" Cordy bounced a little on the bed. Angel and Wesley beamed to see her in full happy-Cordy mode. This was the kind of thing they had both missed. "I cannot wait to get things back on track with everyone, because seriously, I go AWOL and the whole system goes to hell in a handbasket."

"It really does Cordelia." said Wes, manoeuvring around Angel to hug Cordelia. "We've missed you."

"I've missed you guys too." Cordelia yawned, trying to hide it.

"Ok, I think you need to go back to sleep. You were hit with the ultimate punch."

"I know. I was there."

"Sleep, you can be as sarcastic as you want in the morning." Angel gently made Cordy lie back. She yawned again and snuggled into her pillow.

"Yay! Sarcasm, pregnancy, everyone back together. It's last year all over again. 'cept this time no twisted time travellers waiting to take away innocent babies."

"Sleep Cordy."

Angel waited until she was sound asleep, before leaving her with Wesley. As he walked past Faith's room he was keenly aware of the noises coming from it, which told him where Robin was spending the night. Angel quickly moved away from that door and made for Buffy's, where Dawn was.

Buffy was lying beside her sister, running her fingers through her long brown hair. When Angel knocked and entered, she raised her head to see who it was.

"How's she doing?"

"She's moved and stuff, but she hasn't woken up."

"Oh… well it took a lot out of her. I'm sure she'll be fine soon."

"Yeah, here's hoping." Buffy sat up, her expression troubled.

"What's wrong?"

"I just… I wonder if it was a good idea to let Dawn give up that part of her, I mean, Connacht said she didn't use it, but it was a big part of her… what if she's not my Dawn anymore because of it?"

"Connacht said she'd be fine, and I can't see any reason he'd have to lie to us."

"He couldn't get out of the hotel fast enough."

"Maybe he's not comfortable around us now that his part has been done."

"Maybe." Buffy sighed and ran her fingers through Dawn's hair again. "How you holding up?"

"Ok. I mean, I think I'll be better once these babies are born. Then I can, you know, relax a little."

"Yeah. You excited about it?"

"Yeah, I'm really excited, I mean, I couldn't wait for grandchildren when Connor was a baby, just not so soon. Connor's only a year old technically."

"Yeah… that must be unnerving. But you'll be fine Angel. I know it." Buffy laid a hand on his arm, rubbing it in comfort. Angel smiled a little at her.

"Thanks. I… I'm still worried though."

"About Calista?"

"The doctor said it almost guaranteed that she'd get Post-Partum Depression. That can turn really, really bad."

"Like, weepy and sad bad or…"

"More like suicidal bad."

"Oh boy. That's bad."

"Even more so when you think about the amount of mothers who killed their babies first."

Buffy's eyes widened in shock. "Well, Calista would never do that, she worked too long and hard to protect the babies, she wouldn't."

"Sometimes mothers kill their babies because they love them too much. They want to protect them."

"From what?"

"From whatever the mother's convinced is out to hurt the babies."

"Well, that's what we're here for, to protect the babies, even if it means from their own mother. But I'm sure, if we're careful, Calista won't get Post-Partum."

"Yeah… I hope so. I don't think either of them could take anymore. They're still just kids Buffy."

"I know Angel. We'll help them." Buffy stared into Angel's eyes, trying to make sure he understood her conviction. Angel stared back, then he leaned forward and kissed her. Buffy melted at once, leaning into the kiss, feeling the familiar tingle of her soulmate's touch. It felt so right to have Angel's lips on hers, to feel his arms wrap around her and pull her close.

"Buffy, Buffy I love you." he whispered, holding her against his broad chest.

"Angel I love you too." Buffy put her arms around his neck and kissed him again. Then she pulled away and said, "But maybe we should wait for a better time to talk than making out by my unconscious sister's bedside."

"Oh… oh! Right." Angel let her go and they both stood up. "I should… go."

"Yeah… only… don't."

"You want me to stay?"

"Yeah, just keep me company for a while. I don't um… it's kinda freaky sitting here with Dawn and her being so quiet. Just not natural."

Angel smiled and he sat down in the chair Buffy had long vacated. Buffy sat down in his lap and rested her head on his shoulder. They sat like that the rest of the night.

* * *

Reviews are a wonderfully encouraging thing!

Night's Darkness


	20. Oddlepot

I know it's been a while, but I was away in sunny Sicily, with no internet access, so… yeah. Anyway, hope you're all still enjoying this!

* * *

**Chapter 20**

The next evening, after sleeping through the morning and afternoon, everyone began to filter down to the lobby. First it was just Giles and Wesley, and the two men discussed what to do about the fact that the Watcher's council had been destroyed.

"We must try to reform it." said Giles.

"Agreed. I must admit, it's the loss of such valuable documents that has made me so uneasy. There is no love loss between myself and the Council."

"I must concur. Although… Wesley, you do realise that your father-"

"I am aware that he would have been one of the first in the building, but there was no love loss between my father and I either."

Giles regarded the younger man with a dubious expression, but one of the things he'd come to learn about this new Wesley, was that he liked to hide his feelings behind a cool mask. If the other Englishman was going to hide how he was feeling, it wasn't Giles' place to push him.

"I'm… I'm not sure how we could begin to re-forge it."

"Surely there must be some other Watchers who survived."

"I'm sure there must be, but we can't exactly advertise on TV that we need them to show themselves." Giles flashed Wesley a little smile. Wesley smirked over his cup of tea.

"I see that the other's have almost completed their corruption of you."

"I'm afraid its true."

"Well you held out longer than I did. I must have been corrupted by this time last year… no before that even. You know, I just realised, it was almost exactly this time last year that Connor was born."

"Really?"

"Yes. Strange to think that it was only a year ago." Wesley's fingers strayed to the long scar along his neck. Giles' eyes strayed towards it then away, uncomfortable with staring at it when it was clear it was a sore subject for Wesley. "Feels rather like a lifetime ago."

"I know what you mean. It feels like a hundred years since Buffy first walked into the library at Sunnydale High."

"I imagine the other's would agree with you."

"No doubt."

"Agree with what?" asked Anya as she came downstairs.

"That it feels like a hundred years since this group was formed."

"You mean the Scoobies or the Scoobies plus Angel's team?"

"The Scoobies… where did that name even come from?"

"Willow's dead girlfriend Tara started it. It seemed appropriate."

"From what I know of Scooby Doo, it would work."

"When did you ever watch Scooby Doo Mr. Giles Junior?"

"Last year when Connor was born, Angel wanted to see what kind of TV shows were out there that his son would be exposed to. He enjoyed Scooby Doo, said Shaggy reminded him of Xander. He was also partial to Sesame Street. Not keen on the vampire character, but he liked Cookie Monster."

"Cookie Monster's going vegetarian!" Giles piped up. Both Anya and Wesley stared at him. Giles blushed a little. "It was on the news a little while ago."

"I see… that's disturbing."

"What's disturbing?" This time it was Gunn coming into the lobby.

"Giles watches Sesame Street."

"I do not! I said there was a piece on the news about it!"

"What about it? Is it racist against big birds or something?"

"Apparently Cookie Monster is being turned into a vegetarian."

"Ain't gonna last. Cookie Monster lives off cookies, he won't be able to kick the habit."

"It'd be like Bert and Ernie not acting gay together." declared Anya

"Bert and Ernie are gay?" Giles was frowning in bewilderment.

"They're two single guys sharing an apartment and they're always fighting. Don't get much gayer on a children's show."

"They're bloody muppets, muppet's can't be gay." said Wesley, shaking his head.

"Ain't that discrimination?" asked Gunn, grinning as he sat down, "They can be vampires that count, they can be giant yellow birds, they can live in dustbins but they can't be gay?"

Wesley buried his head in his arms. Giles pulled off his glasses, "I used to be a highly respected Watcher and here I am arguing over puppets' sexual orientations."

"Sesame Street's crew are muppets."

Giles rubbed his eyes in exasperation, "Change the bloody subject."

"Ok, so which Power Ranger do you think is the best?"

"Oh the yellow one, hands down." said Anya, "She kicks ass!"

"She's also a transvestite." muttered Wesley. Gunn's eyes widened.

"Seriously? Wouldn't have thought that."

"In the original show the American version used the Japanese fight scenes and in the Japanese version the Yellow Ranger was a man. So every time they showed the fight scenes the yellow ranger went from being a girl to a man."

"I'm not sure which is more disturbing, the fact or that you know it."

"Where'd you hear that?"

"I came across it when I was browsing through an online encyclopaedia."

"What were you lookin' up?"

"Best method to soothe a baby to sleep for Angel. It was that day when Connor flat out refused to quiet down."

"Oh yeah… I wondered why it took you so long to get back to us."

"I got side tracked."

"Readin' up on your Power Rangers?"

"Actually, I don't remember how I got onto that page."

"You talking about Power Rangers?" asked Amanda as she came down with Rona, Molly and Andrew. "'Cause you know that the yellow one's a guy in the fight scenes."

"So we've been discussing." said Wesley. Giles began to polish his glasses furiously.

"I always thought the pink one, Kimberly, was hot." said Andrew, smiling dreamily.

"Too fake for me." said Gunn.

"That guy who was the blue ranger was cute, in a geeky kind of way." said Amanda.

"He was the brainy one, wasn't he?"

"Someone please change the subject again." said Giles, leaning his head back, sounding like he was about to contemplate suicide.

"Did you ever see the Clangers?" asked Molly.

"Those little pink ant eaters that lived on the moon?"

"They were made by the same men who made Bagpuss."

"I always liked Bagpuss." smiled Andrew.

"Yes, anyway, did you know that the Clangers would swear?"

"Really?" Wesley lifted his head up a little in surprise, "As in real swears."

"Yes, exactly. There's this one time, when the doors get stuck while they're opening and a Clanger, I think it was Major Clanger, pops his head out from under the saucepan lid and he says something in that Clanger language, I think they talked through whistles to make it, and then kicks the door. It turned out the Major was saying 'Oh sod it the bloody thing's stuck again'." Molly burst into a fit of giggles. Wesley and Giles both snorted in amusement, "And apparently they've said worse. If you see the piece and listen to him, you can actually hear him say it. It always cracks me up."

"Next thing you'll be telling us that Bill and Ben don't speak Flobbodob." snorted Anya, folding her arms.

"Flobbodob means 'flower pot'. They speak Oddlepot. And I cannot believe I just said that." said Giles. Wesley sniggered but tried to hide it.

"How'd you know that English?"

"I remember hearing it at some point or another."

"This is a really strange conversation."

"Whatcha talking about?" asked Buffy as she came downstairs,

"Bill and Ben don't speak Flobbodob! They speak Oddlepot. That's what Giles says anyway. And Clangers swear!" said Anya nodding matter of factly. Buffy blinked,

"I missed Giles saying Flobbodob and Oddlepot? No fair!" she pouted, "That kind of thing only happens once in a lifetime."

"How's Dawn?" Wesley attempted to save Giles some embarrassment.

"She's awake, I came down to get her a drink. She's kinda tired but seems ok." The relief was evident in Buffy's voice. "She wants hot chocolate. Andrew go make it for her."

"Uh, sure." Andrew jumped to his feet and scurried off to do as he was told. Buffy turned back to the others.

"So… Clangers swear?"

* * *

Cordelia studied her own appearance in the mirror of her room. She'd had a shower and blow-dried her hair, trying to make sure she looked ok. Dressed in some casual, non-revealing clothes, she was happy to see that instead of seeing that monster that had worn her skin for so long, she looked like herself. 

The Power had been careful to wear clothes that had revealed just enough skin to tantalise Connor and keep him staring, which made it easier to manipulate him. Cordelia did not want to look like that when she met him. She loved Connor like a son, and wanted to do her best to rectify the relationship between them.

Cordelia was grateful to Connor for be so honest with her when she'd had amnesia. True, even then, the Power had been influencing her, but at the beginning it had been mainly her, and Connor had been so kind to her. Granted some of that may have stemmed from a teenage crush, but at the time, Connor could still remember Calista and had remained loyal to her. It was only after the Power had made him forget that his attraction had grown. Mainly Connor had been lonely and he'd trusted her, for whatever reason, he had and allowed her to stay with her, trying to help her regain her memories.

Cordelia bit her lip as she thought about that kiss between them, just before the Power had assumed control of her. That had been before Connor had forgotten about Calista. Cordy assumed it had come from being lonely, and not really understanding social barriers and rules. Growing up with just two people wouldn't have taught Connor about how to behave with people he was close to.

There was a knock at her door and Cordy took one more look at herself before turning around to face the door.

"Come in!"

Angel entered, smiling when he saw her.

"Hey, you look nice."

"Thanks. You look… like you didn't sleep much."

"Yeah… I didn't. Too much in my head. I'm fine though. Don't need much sleep being a vampire and all."

"Yeah, true. How're Connor and Calista?"

"Still asleep. I just checked on them. Hopefully they'll wake up sometime today or tomorrow."

"Yeah… so not looking forward to meeting Calista after all the torment that Power put her through. I mean, it may not have been me, but it was my face, my body that seduced Connor and-"

"Don't worry. It may take time but I'm sure Calista will come to like you. After all… what's not to like?"

"Thanks. I needed to hear that."

"You're welcome."

"Angel… can I talk to you for a second?"

"Sure." Angel shut the door and walked over to her, sitting beside her on the bed.

"I've been thinking. About us, about my feelings for you… and I've come to the conclusion that I don't love you. In that sense. You and I… we're…"

"We're very close friends but we'll never be more than that?"

"Yeah… is that ok?"

Angel stared at her for a moment and then smiled, stroking Cordy's hair. "It's perfect. I understand exactly what you mean."

"Good. And don't muss up my hair!" Cordy knocked his hand away and Angel laughed. Then he hugged her tight.

"Are you ready to face the cavalry?"

"So not. But let's do it anyway."

"It's gonna be ok."

Angel took Cordy's arm and led her out of her room and down the hallway. As they entered the lobby, they overheard Gunn say, "Bagpuss kicks Bill and Ben's ass!"

"So wouldn't!" said Willow, sitting on the couch with a mug in her hand. The witch was paler than normal, with dark circles under her eyes but she was smiling. Dawn sat beside the redhead and looked similar, tired, but cheerful. "Bill and Ben are so cute."

"Bagpuss has class." said Wesley, leaning against the lobby desk.

"Bill and Ben are modern."

"Bagpuss makes more money with merchandise." said Anya.

"Do we even want to know how you started this?" asked Angel as he and Cordy came down the steps.

"Cordy! How're you feeling?" asked Fred, walking over to them. Cordy pulled out of Angel's grip and threw her arms around Fred, hugging the slighter woman tight.

"So much better now that I don't have the female version of Darth Vader running around in my skin. Oh god it's so good to see you guys."

Cordelia let Fred go and hugged Gunn as he came over to them, then Lorne as he too joined them. Wesley got another hug in addition to the one from last night for good measure.

"It's so good to have you back kitten." smiled Lorne, "My radar may have been on the fritz, but good-golly-gosh it's good to feel your sweet and bright aura again."

"Welcome back girl. Good to have you back with us." said Gunn.

"Good to be back." said Cordelia. She leaned her head back and stretched her arms out as far as they could go with a satisfied grunt. "It's so good to be home, instead of being incorporeal, which is SO boring, or amnesic, which is just too confusing or, motherload of them all, possessed by an ultimate evil. That was the worst one."

"I can believe it. Well you're back with us now and we've managed to avert an apocalypse, or rather, Willow, Dawn, Connor and Calista managed to."

Cordelia turned to the Scoobies who were watching her with curiosity and concern. Cordelia looked at her old rival, Buffy, taking in how she'd changed and how old her eyes were. Then she went and hugged Buffy. Buffy stood ridged in shock, then awkwardly hugged Cordelia back.

"Thanks for helping me Buffy." whispered Cordelia, smiling as she pulled away from the Slayer.

"Any time Cordelia." said Buffy staring at her with some confusion. This was not the Cordy she remembered. That Cordy had never hugged her, in fact she would have repelled at the idea of it.

"Willow… sorry about the whole trying to kill you when you were here trying to restore Angel's soul."

"Aw, water under the bridge." Willow waved her hand in the air, smiling brightly at the other woman.

"Good. By the way I love your top!"

"Really?"

"Yeah, it's gorgeous. Where'd you get it?"

"Arden B."

"Really? Well it's amazing."

Willow beamed, amazed that the Queen C would be complimenting her clothes.

"Are we sure this is the real Cordelia? 'Cause if it isn't I'm not complaining."

"Aw Xander, I've missed you too. Tell me, did you ever go out and buy a pair of those things called testicles, or did you put that at the bottom of your 'to do' list?"

"Hey, it's Cordy! Gimme a hug!" cheered Xander, holding his arms out. Cordelia rolled her eyes and hugged him, not noticing the way Anya wrinkled her nose in jealousy.

"Ok, I'm wigged out. Cordy's hugging Xander. That's supposed to be a sign of the apocalypse, but we just averted the apocalypse." said Buffy, smiling to herself. Angel chuckled.

"Next thing you know Xander will start doing ballet in the middle of the lobby."

"Watch it Deadboy." Xander warned as he let go of Cordelia.

"Sure didn't you know that Harris already takes his ballet lessons from Giles in secret?" sneered Spike as he came down the stairs.

"Spike! You're supposed to be watching over Connor and Calista."

"And I was, until your boy woke up and asked me to get you for him, seeing as how he didn't want to leave his girl's side."

"Connor's awake?" Fred's eyes lit up with relief.

"That's what I said cutie." smirked Spike.

"Thanks Spike." Angel pushed past his grandchilde and ran up the stairs, taking them two at a time to get to his son.

When Angel entered the room, Connor was sitting up, looking at Calista, a strange look on his face.

"Connor?" called Angel when he didn't look at him.

"Is she real?" asked Connor.

"Who? Calista?"

"Yeah. Is she real?"

"She's real son. She's as real as we are."

"I was afraid to touch her, in case she wasn't real. I didn't want to find that."

"Don't worry, she won't vanish."

Connor reached out with a shaking hand and touched Calista's shoulder. Then he touched her hair and face, tracing the contours of her face. Then his hand moved over her neck and then began to go lower down and Angel coughed. Connor jumped and looked at his father with a guilty expression.

"Sorry. It's just… I can't get over that she's here."

"I can't imagine what you must have gone through when she was up there, fight the Power, or when she…" Angel couldn't even bring himself to speak about the way Calista had stopped breathing. Connor shuddered.

"I almost lost her dad. I can't lose her. Of all people, even more than the babies, I can't lose Calista."

"I get that son, believe me I do."

"I love her. But I don't think she loves me."

"She does."

"No, I don't think she does. She doesn't want me to kiss her, or to hold her, if I try she'll pull away from me."

"She just needs time son, this has been really hard for her and she's very confused. I know you might be confused about what she wants from you, but the best thing at the moment is to give her what she needs, even if that changes from staying away from her to holding her at night and back. I'm sure once the babies are born, when things settle down, she'll be able to figure out her feelings and then you can deal with them."

"Yeah… ok. I can do that. I just… miss her. I miss her touch, you know?"

"I have an idea." Angel furrowed his brow, "Connor, what happened to Calista's arm? It was badly hurt and then it healed itself?"

"I think it might have been Calida. She's not like Connacht. She doesn't like talking to us, preferring to do things behind the scenes. Secretive. Connacht… he likes being in the foreground, likes to be seen."

"If you were responsible for making humanity as vast and as powerful as it is, wouldn't you want a little credit?" Angel sat on the edge of the bed.

"I guess so."

"I still don't understand why you look like him, or why your names are so similar. I picked that name for you because it was a strong Irish name."

"What does it mean?"

"Wisdom."

"Seriously?"

"Yeah. Weird thing is, Connacht, it's one of the four Irish provinces, along with Leinster, Munster and Ulster."

"Were you from Connacht? 'Cause that would just make it way too freaky."

"Erm… yeah, County Galway, Connacht."

"Oh… weird."

"Yeah. It doesn't make a whole lot of sense. Although… maybe its destiny's way of showing how this was inevitable."

"Is Calida a place?"

"There's a place called Calida Costa. And remember that other guy, Germany? That's another country."

"It's in Europe, right?"

"Yeah."

"Holtz told me about Europe, about Italy, Rome, the most holy of cities."

"Actually that's the Vatican, it's in Rome, and it's an independent state, like it's own little country. Your mother liked the Vatican, the Sistine Chapel's there. She always loved the painting of the Final Judgement. Used to joke about how it would have been better if they hadn't painted over all the nudes after Michelangelo died."

"Nudes? In a church?"

"Sure. The Sistine Chapel was painted during the Renaissance. Back then a lot of the artists painted nudes."

"Wow… in the holiest of places there's nudity? Doesn't really sound likely."

"Rome is a bit of a contradiction."

"I'd like to go there someday. I'd like to go to England too… see if it's as beautiful as Holtz said, or did he lie about that too?"

"Well, I'm Irish and in my day, before I was a vampire, we hated the English, so I'm the wrong guy to ask."

"Is Ireland beautiful?"

"Yeah, it is. To me it's the most beautiful place in the world. It's called the Emerald Isle sometimes. There's this place, called Delphi, and if you go to the mountains, it's absolutely breathtaking. Green of more shades than you thought possible, high mountains surrounding a vast valley. I think there's a spa there in a cabin now too."

"Do they speak any English?"

"Yeah. Ireland was under English control for a long time, so although it had Gaelic, its native language, nowadays everyone speaks English. You'd have no trouble."

"So no one speaks your native tongue?"

"I never spoke it. Knew a few phrases, but everything was in English or Latin. Gaelic doesn't conform to Latin, which is where English comes from."

"Say something. In Gaelic."

"Um… 'Dia duit'. It's like hello, or literally means, 'God be with you'. Goodbye is… 'slan' or 'slan abhaile'. To be honest I don't remember anything else."

"It's a nice sounding language."

Angle smiled. He'd never expected Connor to care about where Angel had come from. It was nice to see he did. "I'm sure you could learn it off Giles. It's rather sad that an Englishman knows more than me, but I was a pretty sorry excuse for a human once I turned sixteen."

"What about before?"

"Not much better, really. I never wanted to learn things, I just wanted to have fun. I never appreciated reading or anything like that."

"If you could redo it all would you?"

"No. Because if I hadn't been such an idiot I'd never have fallen for your mother, then I'd never have been made a vampire, and then I'd never have had you. And I'd never undo you son."

Connor smiled at his father. "Thanks dad."

"I just spoke the truth."

"Still… I needed to hear that."

Angel nodded and ruffled his son's hair. Connor chuckled and ran his fingers through it. Angel noted that it was falling into his eyes to the point of blinding him. "You, young man, need a hair cut."

"You won't make me put gel in it like yours, will you?" Connor looked horrified at the idea. Angel narrowed his eyes, unsure what that was supposed to mean but he smiled and shook his head.

"You just need to get it out of your eyes, it's not gonna help you when your fighting if you're half blind."

"Ok, that I can live with. Calista could do it. She always did it before, Holtz's hands got too shaky to do it."

"Well… maybe get Cordy to help. She'll be glad to. She's nervous about talking to you and meeting Calista."

"I'd say Calista will be nervous about meeting her after everything that happened." Connor looked down at the bed. "I made a mess of things didn't I?"

"It wasn't your fault. I shouldn't have let her stay with you after she got her memories, and I shouldn't have abandoned you when I knew you'd slept with her. I should have stuck by you. You're my son. Nothing should be above that."

"It's ok dad. I sank you to the bottom of the ocean. I got that you would be mad at me and want revenge."

"I never wanted revenge on you Connor. I didn't know all the facts, like I didn't know Holtz had made it look like I'd killed him, but I didn't want revenge on you. I should never have thrown you out. If I hadn't maybe none of this would have happened."

"Maybe, but if that Power was that hell bent on using me to make a vessel for itself, then maybe it still would have happened somehow."

"Maybe. Who knows?"

"Exactly, we can never know what might have been if things had been different. Like, what would have happened if Calista had never been forced to leave? If I had had her with me, I'd never have looked at Cordy." There was a stern note in Connor's voice as he said that. Angel smiled,

"I'm sure you wouldn't have. Do you want to come down and join the rest of us, we were discussing who would kick whose ass, Bill and Ben versus Bagpuss."

"Are they wrestlers?"

"No. They're children's TV characters."

"Why would they be in a fight?"

"Um, I'll rephrase that, it's a debate over which is better."

"Oh." Connor still looked confused. "I think I'll stay here with Calista, I don't want her to be alone when she wakes up."

"I'm sure she won't wake up for a little while. She went through a lot. She might not even wake up today."

"Are Willow and Dawn ok?"

"They seem a bit tired, but they were down in the lobby when I brought Cordy down. You're the only two left to join us."

Connor bit on his lip and looked at Calista, and then up at Angel. "Maybe for a little while. I mean, if you don't think she'll wake up."

"I'm sure she won't and if she does, I'm sure she'll know to come down to the lobby to find us." Angel put his hand on Connor's skinny shoulder and squeezed it. Connor sighed and nodded.

"Ok. For a little while."

"Good, come on then, lets go and join them."

Connor got to his feet and pulled on his shoes before following his dad down to the lobby.

"Connor!" Fred spotted them first, "How're you feeling?"

"Ok, a little tired but ok."

"Do you still feel… you know, death and destruction around you?"

Connor chuckled, "You make it sound bad. And yeah, I kinda sense it, but it's strange because I feel it, but with it comes a sensation of contentment, because for every destruction, there is a creation. Every cell that dies is replaced by another one. It's kinda nice to think of it that way. It's clearing away the clutter for the new stuff."

"That's… neat." Fred didn't know what else to say. Connor chuckled again.

"It's ok if you don't get it. It's kinda hard to explain."

"Is Calista still asleep?"

"Yeah, but she's moved and her heartbeat's strong so I think she's ok, physically anyway. Emotionally and mentally, we won't know until she wakes up."

"Must have been really scary for her, to have all that power inside her. I mean, I felt it. I had a lot of it running through me. It was like… like it was trying to make me explode, like my body couldn't hold it all in." said Willow, shaking a little. Buffy rubbed her back to comfort her.

"The wings were very cool though. Think she could get those back? I mean how neat would it be to be able to fly?" asked Xander.

"I doubt it." said Connor, "I still can't believe it. I mean… she was an angel. One of God's closest servants. I'd love to see Holtz's face if he found out. He was always telling her she was evil because of Eve."

"Eve?"

"The Garden of Eden, Eve took a bite of the forbidden fruit first." explained Angel.

"'The serpent did beguile me and I did eat.' That's Genesis, 3:13, Eve's words to God when he questions them. And God's punishment was 'And I will multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; and in sorrow shalt thou bring forth children and thy desire shall be for thy husband and he shall rule over thee.' Holtz was a firm believer in that." said Connor, scowling. "I don't even want to tell you what Deuteronomy 22:20-21 says."

Angel stared at his son in shock. He'd never expected Connor to be able to quote the Bible so perfectly.

"How'd you know that?"

"Holtz made us both learn it off by heart. Wanted to make sure we both got the message." Connor's scowl deepened.

"That guy was such a monster." muttered Dawn. Connor flinched but didn't defend the man.

"No. Holtz was just from a different era, and so consumed with hatred and vengeance that his goodness was eaten away. Do you realise that even fifty years ago, in Ireland and England, a woman would think her husband didn't love her unless he beat her?" said Giles. Every single woman present turned to face him with furious expression. Giles looked like he wanted his chair to swallow him up.

"What did you just say?" asked Faith, her voice cold.

"I'm not agreeing with it! I'm just saying that was the case. The bible is painfully misogynistic and that, along with social customs of the area and time worked against the women. It's the way things were. Doesn't make them right."

"I'm probably gonna regret this but what did Dewy say Connor?" Buffy turned to Connor whose eyes widened. It was clear he wished he hadn't opened his mouth,

"It says, 'But if this thing be true and the tokens of virginity be not found for the damsel: Then they shall bring out the damsel to the door of her father's house, and the men of her city shall stone her with stones that she die: because she hath wrought folly in Israel to play the whore in her father's house: so shall thou put evil away from you.'"

"But that's crazy! What if she'd been raped?"

"If she'd been raped in a city then she should still be stoned because if it had been a true rape then people would have heard her screams. Only virgins raped in the country weren't stoned, but they would have been ostracised and probably beaten and cast out from her home to die in the streets."

"Can we please go back to Bill and Ben?" pleaded Angel, looking rather nervous.

"Please can we drop this? Every time Calista spoke to Holtz after we found out she was pregnant he would quote Deuteronomy 22:20-21 at her and tell her he was being merciful towards her by letting her live. It was only because I promised to marry her if we ever got out of Quor-Toth that he didn't kill her. As it was he beat her badly for it." Connor sounded sick and choked, like he was fighting tears. Angel put an arm around his skinny shoulders to offer comfort. Connor leaned against him a little.

"Sicko." snarled Faith, but the subject was dropped and they changed it. After a little while the cheerful mood returned and, while Andrew and Amanda argued about Dungeons and Dragons, and Angel and Spike argued about various incidents that had occurred when they were together in their clan as their evil alter-egos (including who led the waltz when they'd danced together under the influence of Sweet the Musical demon) Connor and Cordelia went out to the garden to talk.

"Connor, I just wanted to apologise for what that Power did."

"It wasn't your fault Cordy. I know it wasn't you." Connor scuffed the ground with his shoes, looking very embarrassed. Cordelia studied him for a moment and then asked,

"Connor, did anyone ever tell you that the gang, including me and Angel, kinda saw me as your mom?"

"No. No one told me that." Connor looked up, surprise evident in his eyes.

"Well, it's true, and… I still feel that way for you, I care about you like you were my son."

"… oh. Um…" Connor shifted, looking embarrassed. Cordelia, twisting her fingers in her nervousness, waited for him to say something more substantial. "To tell you the truth… if I had to say the person I felt was like a mother to me… it'd be Fred. Or at least a big sister, I think. I mean I don't really know what it's like to have either of those things but… it'd be Fred."

"Oh. Really?"

"Yeah. I mean… she made sure I ate and she worried about me and she tried to teach me things those first three months, you know, before she found out about me sinking my dad to the bottom of the ocean and went all taser-happy. She's more like my mother than you… but I guess that's 'cause you weren't here, you were… up there."

"Well that's ok sweetie, you're allowed to feel that way. And I think, maybe at some point, you should tell Fred. She'd really love to hear it. She does care about you… like I do, and like Angel does. So do Gunn, Lorne and Wesley, but, being guys, they're not as good at showing it." Cordelia smiled, although she was a little sad that Connor saw Fred as his mother more than her. But she understood completely what Connor meant. "I hope that, with time, we can be friends. Does that sound ok?"

"Yeah… we are friends Cordy. Even if we're not… the amnesia time was really you right? That wasn't a lie."

"Not at first."

"Well then we are friends. The other stuff wasn't between you and me, it was between me and it."

Cordelia smiled and said, "You're really like your dad. You've got a way with words."

Connor blushed and lowered his head, "Thanks."

"Is a platonic hug pushing too fast or…?"

"No. It, it's not pushing."

Cordelia smiled and hugged Connor to her, rather like she had when she'd purged him of Quor-Toth, all those months ago. Connor didn't really hug her back, but he leaned into it, which was more than she could have asked for.

When they pulled apart they both realised they were being watched and looked into the lobby, to see Calista staring at them from the balcony, her eyes clouded with anger and bitterness.

* * *

Oh boy, nope, it's not over, not by a long shot. Much, much more to come. Babies and The First are still to come!Reviews are very, very encouraging. 

Night's Darkness


	21. Tears and Dolls

Apologies for the long wait, but I was away for the last 3 weeks in Spanish camp, where my imagination vanished on me and I worried I'd never get it back.

Thanks to all my reviewers!

Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 21**

"Calista." Connor walked into the lobby, his stomach tying itself in knots. The lobby fell quiet and all looked at the balcony.

"What were you doing with her?" Calista asked in a quiet, dangerous voice. Connor swallowed.

"We were talking."

"I didn't realise talking involved arms around each other."

"It, it wasn't like that Cal… it was, um, what did you call it?" Connor looked at Cordy as his mind went blank on him.

"Platonic."

"Platonic! It was platonic. I promise." Connor stepped closer to the stairs, feeling Calista's eyes boring into him. "Do you… do you wanna sit down? You should sit down."

"I'm fine." Calista was rubbing her stomach, a scowl on her face. Then she descended down the steps, far more graceful than she had been before. It was like the weight of the babies had left her and she could move easier now. She'd changed her clothes, dressed in a pair of jeans, with a soft shamrock green top, with sheer sleeves. The loose material rested around her stomach, framing it. Her hair was pulled back, tied into a twisted bun, so it was out of the way.

When Calista reached the lobby, she stared stonily at Cordelia, who gulped. Then her dark blue eyes were thrown to Connor who stared back, willing her to see the truth in his own. Then she glanced at the rest of the gang, as if judging whether they were trustworthy. Then she relaxed a little and turned away from them all, pacing around the lobby, her arms cradling her stomach.

Connor frowned. "What's that smell?"

"Smell?" Buffy sniffed the air. "What smell?"

"I smell it too." Spike's nostril's flared as he tilted his head back. Angel sniffed too. Calista froze and her eyes widened. Spike stepped nearer to her, "Smells like sulphur."

"Smells familiar." said Angel,

"Smells like home." said Connor in a quiet voice, staring at Calista, who flushed and looked away. "You've got Ester on you."

"Who?"

"Her doll. She's got her doll on her. From Quor-Toth. Ester." Connor stepped closer to Calista who looked up at him, looking sulky. Connor reached out and pulled the doll out from under her shirt, tucked into the back of her jeans. Calista sighed and looked at the doll. It was limp in Connor's hand, made of dark brown leather. Human shaped, like a gingerbread man, with X's for eyes and a line for a mouth. Blonde tresses had been sewn into the head for hair.

"I can't believe you still have her." said Connor, staring at the doll. Calista snatched it out of his hand, letting out a little hiss.

"What's it to you? So what if I still have her? She was the only other friend I had and the only one I had once Daniel forced me to leave."

"I'm not making fun of you Cal. I'm just surprised." said Connor in a patient voice. Calista looked at him in astonishment. "I just… I guess I'd assumed you'd lost her ages ago. You never held her after-"

"After Daniel realised I was pregnant. Whores don't deserve dolls. Dolls are for good girls, not dirty ones." Calista pressed the doll, Ester, to her chest, stuffing her arms over her in a protective manner. "I hid her, the same way you hid Solomon."

"Solomon?" asked Willow.

"My doll." said Connor, not breaking his eye contact with Calista. Calista's angry expression was vanishing, as she started to lose her resolve. "I carried him everywhere. He kept me company when I was alone in Quor-Toth. When I was learning to track, he was with me when no one else was."

Calista bristled, "Are you trying to say that I should have been with you, because in case you forgot, I tried to stay with you. Daniel slapped me and carried me off. Then he gave me a beating for being so difficult. You think I wanted to be left alone with him?"

"No. That's not what I meant. I wasn't even talking about you! I was just talking about Solomon." said Connor, sounding exasperated. Calista looked away. Ester peeped out over her arm. "Calista what's got you so angry? We've won. You did it. You defeated the Power, killed it. It's over."

"You want to know why I'm angry? Well I'll tell you. You weren't there! You weren't there when I woke up! I needed you and you weren't there for me AGAIN! I can't count on you for anything can I steph- con- whatever I'm supposed to call you now!"

Connor reeled back in horror and he looked to his dad who looked shocked. Angel stepped forward.

"Calista, Connor wanted to stay with you, but I convinced him to come downstairs for a while, to spend time with the others, to get something to eat and stretch his legs. He wanted to stay with you, but I told him you wouldn't wake up for a while. It's my fault he wasn't there, not his, blame me, not him."

"Calista, I'm sorry I wasn't there. I wanted to be, I meant to be there. I'm sorry." Connor reached out and touched her shoulder. Calista freaked and slapped his hand away.

"Don't touch me!" she screeched.

"Hey, C, chill." said Faith, standing and taking a hold of Calista's arm. Calista snarled and the next thing they knew, Faith was on the ground, clutching a bruising jaw.

"I said don't touch me!" Calista's voice had a hard edge to it, a bitterness, a frightening hint of a splintering mind.

"It's ok Calista, no one's going to hurt you." soothed Buffy, raising her hands in peace as she approached the younger blonde. Calista looked at Buffy, and her eyes filled with tears. Still she backed away as Buffy came closer. Everyone was holding their breath. "I know you must be overwhelmed by what you experienced. It must be so frightening and go against everything you've been taught. But you're safe with us. We won't hurt you. We just want to help you, to take care of you. You're one of us… you're a fighter for good. You're part of the family. You can trust us."

By now Calista was pressing against the elevator doors, and Buffy was almost on top of her. Buffy stopped there, not willing to touch the girl in case it made things worse.

"Calista, Connor loves you, with everything he's got. You mean the world to him and you mean a lot Angel and me too. Everyone here cares about you. None of us think you're evil because of what happened last night. Because that's what you're really afraid of isn't it? You're afraid that by letting all that power flow through you, you've become corrupted, that you've turned away from God. You're frightened that you'll be sent to hell, or that you're already in it."

Calista whimpered and pulled at her hair, sinking to her knees. Buffy knelt down in front of her, staring straight at her.

"Calista, you're not evil. You know it, deep inside, but the words of that man run around in your head, and you're worried that they're telling the truth instead of your heart. But Calista, you're an angel. You weren't touched by the most evil of dimensions, you even helped protect Connor from it. How can you be evil if you did that?"

Calista was crying now, curled up around her stomach. Buffy reached out with one hand and began to run her fingers through stray hair that had escaped the bun. Calista flinched, but then began to relax into the touch. Buffy used her other hand to take Calista's and hold it firmly, not tight, but not loose. Calista looked into Buffy's eyes, and Buffy wiped away the tears. Then she hugged Calista, ready to pull away at a moments notice from the teen.

Instead, Calista sagged into Buffy's arms and began to sob. Buffy rocked her, stroking her hair, and holding her close. Connor was crying and Angel and Cordy were trying to sooth him, but both knew it was hopeless. Only Calista could comfort the boy, and she couldn't even comfort herself.

When the tears subsided, Buffy pulled Calista to her feet and tilted her chin up, making her hold her head high.

"You should be proud of yourself. You've done something incredible. Hold your head up high."

"It's hard." whispered Calista, "It's all so hard."

"I know. But you've got us to help you. So… don't worry. All you need to think about is moving forward, about having these babies and becoming a mother. Because you're gonna be amazing at it."

"Thank you Buffy."

"You're welcome." Buffy smiled at Calista and got a small one in return. Then Buffy took Calista's elbow and led the teen back to the group and sat her down on the couch. Calista covered her eyes with a hand and sagged forward.

"I feel so tired." she murmured

"You did something amazing Calista, we're all tired from it." Connor sat down near her but with at least two inches of space between them.

"What did I do? I did nothing. You gave me the energy, and it allowed Creation to connect with me."

"No, I know you were in there too. I saw the look in your eyes when the Power insulted you. That was you." said Cordelia, sitting opposite her. Calista looked at Cordelia and pulled away, sitting deeper into the couch. Cordelia did the same to try and appease her. "You were the one who did it in the end. You got everyone together, you broke the Power's spell over Connor, you killed Caleb. You did so much."

"I did what was required of me."

"No more than the rest of us." said Angel, touching her shoulder. Calista stiffened and Angel withdrew his hand. "You hungry?"

"Um… well… maybe just a- I'm starving." Calista looked up at him with a hopeful expression.

"Andrew!"

"I'm on it Dark Avenger!" Andrew skidded his way into the kitchen. Angel frowned.

"Did he just call me Dark Avenger?"

"He did." said Buffy with a little nod.

"What a geek." sighed Xander.

"What's a Dark Avenger?" asked Connor.

"Never mind son. It doesn't matter." Angel shook his head.

"Hey, does anyone have any idea what yesterday's show down was called by the media?" asked Fred, "I mean, you couldn't ignore that whole earthquake, bright light dealie that only comes when the forces of good and evil are having a cosmic battle."

"I checked the news, it's making claims to a meteor shower. No details have been made available yet."

"Ah to be that naïve! I forgot what that's like." sighed Xander.

"As I recall it made it more likely that you'd get yourself killed." smirked Cordy.

"This is true."

"Ok! I'll bring in more but I figured you'd want something now, so dig in." Andrew came bustling into the lobby with a bowl of tomato soup, which he gave to Calista. Calista smiled at him,

"Thank you Andrew."

Andrew went pink and scurried away to get the rest of the food.

Calista began to eat her soup but after a few spoonfuls looked up at the others, who were all watching her. "Um… could you not watch me please? It's unnerving."

"Sorry." They all looked away, and then began to talk to each other, although they still kept an eye on the blonde. Connor just sat there, watching her.

From the kitchen there came a smell of waffles. Calista's head perked up at the smell.

"Mmm, waffles! I love waffles. They're nicer than Slorgan sap."

"Mmm, I haven't had Slorgan sap since before we left Quor-Toth." sighed Connor, smiling. "Remember how we got it as a reward?"

"Yes. You always got it for killing a demon or being quick to track. I got it for keeping the cave in good order and being quiet and out of the way." Calista smiled a little, as if the memory was a nice one. Ester was lying over her tummy. Connor grinned a little. Then Calista frowned, "What happened to Solomon? You never told me if you lost him or not."

Connor blushed, "I think the Beast might have destroyed him when he wrecked my place ages ago, when he blocked out the sun. I still had him up till then, but I didn't bring him with me on hunts or anything."

"Oh… did you go look?"

"No. I haven't had time."

"Well, maybe we could go look for him soon. Once we're both more energetic. I think Ester misses her friend." Calista held the doll up and made her hang her head as if sad. Connor laughed and touched the doll.

"Remember the games we would play with them?"

"Of course. I was always the one to make them up. You just did what I said. The only time you ever did." There was no anger in Calista's voice.

"You were better at it." smiled Connor. His fingers left Ester and touched Calista's. Calista looked at him with more focus, but she said nothing. Connor stared at her with longing, but Calista looked away. One hand rubbed her stomach.

Andrew returned with the waffles and Calista's smile lit up the room. Connor still just watched her.

* * *

Two days had passed and things had been quiet. The gang had taken the down time and used it well. Caught up on sleep, relaxed, watched TV, eaten a sinful amount of ice-cream, whatever they liked. Buffy and Angel had yet to talk to one another about their feelings, Faith was avoiding Robin, Dawn was quiet and pensive, Willow was almost back to her perky self, but not well enough for bedroom activities with Kennedy, Spike was pulling an Angel and brooding, Cordy was struggling to maintain her happy smile, and Calista was often found in the garden, staring up at the sky.

So far the young mother-to-be had spoken little since that first day, mainly only saying yes or no to questions, and she was avoiding Connor. Angel, Spike and Connor all knew she was carrying Ester around, stuffed down the back of her jeans or her skirt, under her top. None of them said anything about it though.

Connor was fighting the urge to corner Calista and talk to her. He knew it wouldn't help, but sleeping next to her without being able to touch her was enough to make him scream. He longed for her to look at him with warmth and love again. It had been so long since she'd really done that.

"Hey kiddo. Whatcha doing? Staring at our angel of sweetness?" asked Lorne, walking over to him. Connor looked at Lorne, surprised at how he didn't feel uncomfortable around the demon anymore. True Lorne could annoy him, but that wasn't really because he was a demon anymore, that was because he drank and wore outrageous clothes and spoke so confusingly. It was strange.

"Yeah. I can't take my eyes off her. She's so beautiful."

Indeed she was. Lying on the bench in the garden, dozing in the warm sunlight, the light giving her a halo, her arms cradling her stomach, Calista was very beautiful.

"Yeah… she's fair of face and tough as steel." agreed Lorne, smiling. Then Lorne looked at Connor, "She cares about you kiddo. A hell of a lot. If she lost you she'd be lost."

"She did lose me, and I lost her. We found each other. But we're not…"

"Well, you may be in the same building as her, more often than not in the same room as her, but she's still very lost. And it's gonna take her time to find her way home."

"Can I help her? Can I… I don't know, guide her?"

"Love her kiddo. Just never stop loving her and never let her forget that no matter what you are to each other, you love her. She needs that security more than anything. She's afraid of this birth. She's afraid she'll be left alone once her job is done. You need to make sure she stops thinking that way."

"Thank you Lorne."

"You're welcome Connor."

"Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"What the hells going on with my dad and Buffy?"

Lorne grinned, Connor may be quiet, but he missed nothing. Especially the proverbial elephant in the corner regarding his dad and the petite slayer.

"You'll just have to ask them when they figure it out."

"This is one of those complicated issues everyone knows about but doesn't get, isn't it?"

"Well… most here know the basics about them, but the details are between them. We're all waiting and watching for something to happen. The vibe I'm getting is one of restraint and uncertainty. It'll take a little while before they give in and admit their feelings for each other."

"Ok… it's just really annoying."

"I know what you mean." Lorne nodded and then left Connor to his watching. Calista shifted and rolled over on the bench, her hair spreading out so it shone like straggly gold.

* * *

"Not hidin' are you Queen C?"

Cordelia sighed to herself as she looked up at Spike. She might be willing to accept that Spike was on the good side now, and had a soul, but that didn't mean she had to like him.

"What do you want Spike? I'm not in the mood for jokes or jibs."

"Touchy." smirked Spike. He'd been keeping an eye on the ex-cheerleader and noted the way she kept a bright smile on her face whenever Captain Forehead or the others were around, but when she thought no one was looking the smile would fall, and the pain of what she'd been through shone from her eyes like a raging fire. Spike couldn't ignore it.

"Only when annoying peroxide boys won't stop following me around." Cordy snapped.

"I ain't been following you around. You just happen to be around wherever I go." Spike smirked to himself at the look on Cordelia's face. The smouldering brown eyes, perfect pout and raised eyebrows made the woman very sexy. Spike may have been in love with a Slayer, but that didn't mean he was blind enough to miss what was right in front of him. "Besides, shouldn't you be with the rest of the pouf-gang planning that baby shower where Peaches will insist on dressin' up like a bloody stork and traumatising his brat even further."

"Don't call Connor a brat!" snapped Cordelia, maternal feelings kicking in.

Spike reeled back a little, not expecting such a sharp retort for a mild joke. "Just kidding luv, didn't mean no harm by it."

"I'm sure. I haven't missed the way you watch Connor, waiting for him to make a wrong move so you can knock him down. Well listen up William." Cordelia stood up and walked over to Spike, until she was almost nose to nose with him, her voice low and dangerous. "If you make a move against Connor, even consider hurting him for his mistakes, then I will show you how much I remember from my time up on the higher plane and with that bitch running around inside me. Got it?"

Spike was very surprised. He hadn't anticipated that the woman would care so much about Peaches kid, or that she could look so dangerous for one so gorgeous.

"Loud and clear luv."

"Good. Now go away and leave me alone."

"No."

"What?"

"I ain't leaving. You can't try to hide all the bull you've got inside you over this thing. You don't blame the kid for his actions, so you can't blame yourself for what happened when that bitch was driving."

"I wasn't forced into a higher plane. I made the choice to ascend."

"Maybe, but from what I've heard, everything was manipulated, so couldn't you have been manipulated into feelin' the need to agree?"

Cordelia opened her mouth but no sound came out. Spike had caught her out at that. Could she have been manipulated into agreeing? It would make sense, if the Power was clever and powerful enough to make her think she was falling in love with Angel. Spike smirked at her, knowing he'd beaten her.

"Well, now that we've cleared that up, what's say we go downstairs and join the freak-show. The whelp's been watchin' Calista all day, and I'm getting tired of it. Bad enough there's one broody-pants in this twisted little family, don't need another one."

Cordelia sighed a little, then smiled, "Now that's something we can agree on."

When the two of them walked into the lobby it was to find neither Connor nor Calista there or in the gardens. Angel and Buffy however, were and their lips were locked together, holding each other desperately like they'd never let go.

Cordelia smiled.

Spike froze.

Angel let Buffy go and stared down and her, stroking her face with tender fingers. "Buffy, I…"

"I know, just kiss me." Buffy whispered, pulling him close to her again. They jumped apart when the toilet flushed and Calista emerged, looking startled to see the two of them, with their arms still around each other, staring at her. Her eyes flicked behind them, relaxing when she looked at Spike, but tensing and narrowing when they landed on Cordelia. Angel and Buffy looked up the stairs to stare at them and Buffy's eyes widened in horror as she stared at Spike.

"Spike… I…"

"Don't say a word slayer." said Spike, his voice so tight it was like he'd tied his vocal cords. "Just don't."

"I just…"

"You made your choice." finished Spike. Cordelia looked at him, surprised to see the expression on his face. It was one of deep pain. Then Spike walked through the lobby, and down to the basement, no doubt heading for the sewers. Buffy made to go after him, but something held her back and she knew what it was. Turning to Angel, who was simply staring at her, she knew she couldn't leave. Not yet.

So instead she walked back to Angel and let his arms encircle her. Angel buried his face in her hair. Cordy smiled at the sight, but the smile vanished as she saw Calista walking out of the lobby.

Swallowing hard and summoning as much courage as she could, Cordelia followed the girl, having no trouble catching up to her since Calista could barely walk at a normal pace, rather waddling in a way that told Cordy she would probably have only a few days before she gave birth.

"Calista! Wait, please."

Calista stopped and let Cordelia catch up with her. "Yes Ms. Cordelia?" she asked, keeping her eyes on the ground. Cordy was stunned by the way Calista had addressed her. Ms? She didn't call anyone else with such a formal title. Then Cordy realised Calista was making it clear that she didn't like Cordy. It hurt Cordelia to realise that, but she knew that she couldn't hold it against Calista. Not after everything.

"Please, call me Cordy. Look Calista, I know I can't say anything that will change what happened between the Power and Connor, but I really wish we could put it behind us. I want to be friends with you, I love Connor like a son, and I want us to be a happy, dysfunctional family. I know that doesn't sound possible right now, but I really would like us, at least, to get along."

Calista closed her eyes and said in a low voice, "It was your voice that chanted the spell that almost killed me and my babies. It was your body that seduced Connor and resulted in that vessel for the Power. So much of it was you… but everyone says it wasn't you. But everyone says it was me who did what I did and I don't feel like that. I feel like I've been used up until there's nothing left in me but these babies and once I give birth… I think I'll just fade away into nothingness. And the only reason I still feel anything, is because I'm forcing myself to hate you for being so beautiful."

Sapphire eyes opened and focused on Cordy, who felt sorrow fill her heart, "When I first saw you, you were unconscious on the lobby floor, and I thought you were so beautiful, so… womanly. And you looked so powerful, even unconscious you looked powerful. And there I was, the whore of the Destroyer of Quor-Toth, carrying his offspring and condemning all four of us to hell for being unable to resist Stephen's need, for giving into sinful urges. I can understand why Connor would desire you. And I have to hate you for it. I have to." Calista turned and walked away, her head down. Cordelia was crying.

* * *

Reviews are like Terry's Chocolate Orange! Delicious!

Night's Darkness


	22. Beauty is a curse

Ok folks, here's another chapter since there seems to be a build up of them that need to be posted.

Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 22**

Angel smiled to himself as he took a look at his latest drawing, deeming it one that was worthy of keeping and framing, if only to preserve the image. His grandchildren would no doubt love to see it when they were old enough to appreciate it.

Calista had fallen asleep in the garden again, on the bench, and she was surrounded by jasmine. Connor had put a cushion under her head and dozed off in the unseasonable warmth, his head resting on his arm, which was resting on the edge of the bench, near Calista's head, seated on the ground by the bench. Sleeping Beauty and her prince, almost.

Angel grinned at the scene, it was so picturesque. Both Connor and Calista had that classical, renaissance angelic appearance, even if Connor hid his with his hair, and in the sun the contours of their faces, with high-cheekbones and slightly pointed chins, long eyelashes and white skin, made them look like they'd jumped right out of a DaVinci painting. Peaceful expressions in sleep, which Angel had just captured in charcoal and paper, and a tranquil surrounding of flowers. It was beautiful.

"I didn't know Connor had blonde highlights in his hair." said Buffy, coming up behind him, wrapping her strong arms around his waist.

"Neither did I… but then again, Connor doesn't spend much time in the sun, so it never shows. He's filled out a little, hasn't he?"

"A bit, but he needs to fill out a bit more. He's almost the perfect example of a male anorexic."

"We'll give it time. He probably won't be like me. Probably be more like Darla, slim."

"Maybe, we'll see what Andrew's cooking does for him. And Calista too. I'd bet anything any weight she's got on her will be the babies."

"And she'll be nursing, which'll use up any excess fat, so she'll have to eat plenty." agreed Angel.

"Would you listen to you two? You're both going all parental on them. That's so cute." gushed Dawn, smiling. Buffy and Angel both jumped guiltily, neither having heard the brown haired teen coming into the lobby with Cordy, Willow and Anya. Dawn glanced outside, and grinned, "That's even cuter, and me without a camera."

"There's one in the top left drawer of the desk nearer the toilet, I think it has a few photos left. Hurry, before they wake up." urged Cordelia, smiling at the scene. Dawn rushed to get the camera and returned and took photos of the two. Connor might have been aware he was being watched because he stirred, and lifted his head briefly before settling again, closer to Calista.

"I think you should draw Calista on her own Angel. You know, make her look as beautiful as she does right now. It might cheer her up." smiled Cordelia. "She'll probably stay still long enough for you, she's been sleeping most of the day and night."

"I'd say she's recovering her energy. Speaking of which, Dawnie, how are you feeling?"

"Ok, good, you know, it was like I'd given a part of me up… but then I realised, I didn't need it anymore, and I'd get over it. And now I am!" Dawn smiled. Buffy marvelled at the teenage ability to hold silly grudges, but get over the more serious stuff so fast. Only teens could do it with such unpredictability.

Angel meanwhile was studying Calista, taking in the scenery around her. "It'd be great if we could get her to wear that white dress, you know the one with the ruffled collar. She'd look amazing in that."

"You know, you should get a professional photographer to take her picture before she gives birth. I mean it'd be so great to have them in years to come." said Willow.

"Oh! I know a guy you could call… assuming he wasn't killed in the apocalypse. I got him to take some pictures of me, back when I was trying to make it as an actress. He's really good, and he doesn't charge much. Let me get his number." Cordelia scurried over to her desk to find it. Angel jumped and looked alarmed.

"Hey, hang on a sec. Calista might not be comfortable with it, I mean she's self-conscious enough as it is."

"Yeah, but what if years later she wishes she had pictures of her final days of pregnancy. And us girls can do her hair and make her feel as pretty as she looks. At least let Cordy call him and see if he'll do it. Then we can ask her and make like we're calling for the first time." Dawn urged, wide eyed.

"Come on Angel. It's worth a try. It might boost Calista's self confidence." said Cordy, guilt evident in her eyes. Angel wondered at it.

"Well… ok. Call him but let's wait until after Calista's had her dessert before we approach her with the idea. She's always in a better mood after Andrew makes her dessert."

"That's 'cause he makes a mean mini chocolate soufflé." said Anya, smiling a little as Cordelia went to make the call. She'd been the one to spend the most time with the little geek and found him annoying but occasionally endearing, especially when he made cake. "At least she hasn't been asking for pickles in it. Pregnant women eat weird things."

"Yeah… I doubt she's got enough knowledge of food to have full-on cravings." said Buffy.

"Probably."

"Ok." Cordy walked back to them. "He's in town, although apparently he's moved away from L.A. and he's agreed to do the photo shoot in two days. All we need to do is call him back to confirm."

"Great. Now we wait."

"I'm sure she'll say yes."

* * *

"Absolutely not!" Calista looked horrified at the suggestion.

"C'mon Calista, it's a bit of fun, and think of how great it'll be to have the pictures years from now." urged Dawn, sitting beside her.

"No! I couldn't. That's vanity. It's a sin to be vain."

"Everything's a sin with you." grumbled Anya, folding her arms. "Having your picture taken is a sin, wanting money is a sin, having sex is a sin! Is there anything you can do that isn't sinful?"

Calista opened her mouth but Connor beat her to it, "Leading a good, honest, pious, charitable life is the only way to ensure your entry into heaven, but you have to avoid temptation and sin." A guilty, rebellious, bitter look crossed his face as he said this.

"Oh for God's sake!" Anya threw her hands in the air, "We're trying to do something nice for you but you refuse it because you think its wrong! It's not wrong to feel pretty. In fact half the stuff that comes out of your mouth is ridiculous. Staying a virgin, but having children, that's what the church would encourage in Holtz's day, but it's impossible unless you're the Virgin freakin' Mary!"

"It's the word of God."

"If God is that interested in our sex life, then how come he doesn't come down and get some like Zeus does? How come he doesn't show any interest in sex? He doesn't care as long as you treat sex with respect!"

"Ahn, maybe you should calm down before you hurt someone." suggested Xander nervously, putting his hand on her shoulder. Anya looked at him, and stayed quiet, for now.

"No! It's that we should wait until we are married to have sex. Outside of marriage is sinful."

"Look, we just thought you'd like to have the pictures, it's got nothing to do with sinning or God."

"Everything's to do with God." said Calista. She sounded tired, as if putting up a fight over her faith was wearing on her.

"Look, Calista, you think you won't be allowed into heaven because you're having children?" asked Buffy.

"No. I won't be allowed in because Connor and I fornicated."

Andrew giggled at the word 'fornicated'. Buffy glared at him. Andrew fell quiet. Buffy turned back to Calista, staring down at her.

"Calista, look. I've died, twice. The first time was only for a few minutes. But the second time was for a couple of months and my friends, they brought me back with magic. They thought I was trapped in a hell dimension. But I wasn't. I was… I was in Heaven."

Calista's head snapped up and Connor's eyes widened. Buffy crouched down in front of them, making sure to look them both in the eyes. "It was… so peaceful, and warm and content. Content like I've never felt before. But here's the thing. I've done what you have. I've killed demons, I've… fornicated, heck, my first fornication set loose Angelus-"

"Way more than I needed to hear there." said Connor, grimacing. Angel rolled his eyes. Buffy continued,

"Point is… lots of the things you panic over doing, most of the people here have done, some have even done worse. Neither of you have killed an innocent. But I got into heaven. So don't worry. You're guaranteed a place."

"You can't know that. What if because of what I am that I'm damned? That's what fa-Holtz always said." said Connor, shivering.

"You can't be punished for the crimes of your father, or your father's twisted, manic alter-ego Connor. That's not fair, nor is it right."

"Connor, each of us carries our own burdens, yours is knowing what Angelus did, but that doesn't mean you have to be punished for them. They're my sins I have to atone for."

"It's different for you though. You're both champions of God. We're not." said Calista. "We're accidents or creatures that have been sent to hell for reasons we don't understand." Despite her calling Connor an accident, she took his hand and squeezed it, as if to reassure him about her words. Connor held on tight.

"No. You're miracles, and gifts and if you don't see yourselves that way, you'll never be able to be happy with yourselves. You've made mistakes. But you're not evil, and you're not accidents."

Calista rubbed her brow, then said in a quiet voice, "I'm not pretty like you are."

"Yes you are! Calista you're beautiful!" said Connor in a loud voice.

"Don't break out into James Blunt, please kiddo." said Lorne, only half kidding. Connor certainly resembled the singer with his shaggy hair, but given his similarities in personality and fighting to Angel, Lorne knew that singing would be a torture.

"Look Calista, we can do your hair, get you a pretty outfit sorted, make you feel gorgeous. Then all you'll have to do is smile at the camera and pose. You'll be fine." said Dawn. Calista nibbled her lip. It was clear this idea was as alien to her as it would be for… well, an alien.

"C-could you make me look pretty? Like you?"

"We'll make you look pretty, but pretty as you are, not like us." said Cordelia. Calista gave her a narrow-eyed look, but said nothing. "I'll go make the call."

Calista sighed and rested her head on Connor's shoulder, looking tired. She'd slept for five hours, but she was still exhausted. Connor hesitated before putting his arm around her shoulders and resting his cheek against her head. Calista reached up and entwined her fingers with his. Connor closed his eyes, his nose inhaling her scent like a man who has not drunk water for weeks in a desert and has just found an oasis.

Connor needed Calista, needed her like he needed water, and he didn't know how much longer he could go without tasting her, kissing her mouth, feeling her pressed against him, her arms around him, clutching onto him. But he forced himself to be patient, remembering both his dad's and Lorne's advice to let Calista come to him, if that was what she wanted.

She did want him didn't she?

* * *

"Ok sweetie, don't you worry. We're not gonna take too much off, just the split ends, maybe a few layers. Does that sound ok?"

Calista nodded, but she said nothing as Cordelia combed her wet hair out. Buffy was watching as the ex-cheerleader worked her way through the mass of blonde, well aware of the uncomfortable and tense expression on Calista's face. It was obvious she didn't like Cordelia touching her. Buffy felt sorry for them both. Cordy was trying so hard to get Calista to warm to her, but Calista couldn't do it. Something was holding her back.

The two of them were kneeling on the floor in Cordy's room, with cushions to protect their knees. Buffy was perched on the bed, a bowl of popcorn in her lap, while Dawn and Fred dipped marshmallows into some melted chocolate. Faith was sprawled on the bed beside Buffy, eating from a large packet of crisps, a box of cookies beside her, which Anya kept digging into. Kennedy was running her fingers through Willow's hair and kissing the nape of her neck. Willow was smiling a little uncomfortably, as if she wasn't completely enjoying Kennedy's attention. The other Potentials were indulging in ice cream and watching a movie downstairs, since they wouldn't all fit in Cordy's room.

The idea had been to turn Calista's makeover into a girls' night, to make her more comfortable. So far it didn't seem to be helping. Calista hadn't said anything since she'd come out of the bathroom after washing her hair.

Cordy separated her hair and said, in as cheerful voice as she could, "Do you like any of the girls' hair? Do you want me to cut it like that? Or have you any idea how you'd like it to look?"

"What do you think?" asked Calista, her voice quiet and tight.

"Well, you've got a thin face, so, lots of layering at the front would emphasis it, and I think your hair has a natural side parting. It's naturally curly, right?"

"Daniel called them ringlets, not curls."

"Ok, well… I think I know what to do. Let's get started." Cordy sent a prayer that this would turn out well. She was normally more confident about styling, but she knew if this went wrong it would make things worse between her and Calista. So she started small, trimming the ends of the waist length hair.

"Don't worry Calista, Cordy's the best for style. She'll do your hair brilliantly." said Dawn, smiling at the teen. Calista nodded, her eyes squeezed shut. Buffy leaned forward in time to see two tears slip out from under her long eyelashes.

"Cordy stop." she said quietly. Cordelia dropped her hands at once. Buffy crawled off the bed and knelt in front of Calista. "Calista? Look at me."

Calista opened her eyes and more tears fell. Buffy reached out with a delicate finger and wiped them away. "What's wrong sweetie?"

"I'm sorry." Calista wiped at her face, tears rolling down her cheeks. "I'm sorry." She burst into tears. Cordelia pulled away, looking horrified as Calista curled up and continued to cry. Buffy rubbed her back, trying to calm her, asking her what was wrong.

"Calista, talk to us, please. You can tell us anything."

Calista looked up at Buffy and Buffy felt very sad at the tortured innocence in Calista's eyes. Despite all she'd been through, she was still a child, and she needed comfort and security. Buffy wanted to give it to her, like she would for her little sister. Calista sat up, wiping at her face, looking humiliated.

"I'm sorry. I just… I can't control myself. I-I-"

"Shh… tell us what's wrong."

"It's just… the last time my hair was cut… it was a punishment."

"What?"

Calista closed her eyes and told them,

_(Flashback)_

Calista hummed to herself, running her fingers through her waist length hair. The eleven year old girl loved her hair, it was as soft as Uptem hide and she'd never seen a colour like it in all of Quor-Toth. Stephen came in, looking tired, with a cut on his cheek and he sat beside her.

"Are you all right Stephen?"

"I'm just tired." he said with a huff. His eyes flicked to her hair and reached out a hand to touch it. Calista smiled at him as he began to run his fingers through it. Stephen liked her hair too, he liked to touch it, run his fingers through it. He said it was beautiful. Calista didn't know if it was beautiful, but she liked it.

"What are you doing Stephen?" she laughed as he rubbed it against his cheek.

"It's so soft. I just wanted to feel it against my face. Remember when we were little and we'd sleep side by side? Sometimes your hair would just tickle my face and I'd rest my cheek against it, it helped me sleep."

Calista smiled and threw her arms around him, kissing his cheek.

"Yuk!" grunted Stephen, wiping his cheek and mock tackling Calista he knocked her to the ground. Calista giggled as he tickled her, pinning her to the ground. Stephen laughed as she squirmed under him, trying to escape his fingers that were pressing into her ribs.

"What is going on?" barked Daniel as he came into the cave. His eyes swept over the two of them, looking furious. Stephen was on top of Calista, with his hands on her, and Calista had been giggling. In Daniel's mind that brought him to one conclusion.

Stephen got off Calista as fast as he could and helped her to sit up. "We were just playing father."

"Playing? What kind of play was it that you came to be rolling around on the ground like a pair of animals?"

"I was just tickling her for kissing my cheek." said Stephen. Calista saw Daniel's eyes widen in fury and she tried to explain herself,

"I was just kissing him because he told me how much he liked my hair, it meant nothing Daniel. I swear!"

"I see, you are so feeble minded and vain you would kiss him at the first compliment he pays you?"

"It's not like that Daniel!" Calista was frightened, Daniel had been very irrational lately, and she was afraid of what he might do if she couldn't please him. "It was a gesture of friendship, that's all."

Daniel strode over and grabbed Calista by the long hair she was so proud of, making her cry out in pain. "Do you take me for a fool Calista?"

"No! Never Daniel. Please, you're hurting me." she whimpered. Stephen watched with frightened eyes.

"Do you think I have not seen the way you preen over yourself, always fussing over your hair, when you should be doing your duties, when you should be praying to God for his forgiveness for being such a damned evil creature? Well I have. And I think, it's high time you were taught a lesson for your vanity. Stephen, give me your knife."

"Father! Please don't hurt her." cried Stephen, his voice trembling.

"The knife Stephen!" snapped Daniel, his eyes flashing. Stephen looked at Calista, and then gave Daniel his knife, his hands shaking as he did. Calista let out a sob, and then another cry when she was pulled by the hair so her brow was pressed against the ground. Daniel pulled her hair tight in his hand and began to hack through it, amid screams from Stephen to stop and sobs from Calista every time the knife nicked her skin. It was over quickly and when it was, Daniel stormed out of the cave.

Calista lifted her head, letting out another sob as she felt the difference in weight, now that her long curtain of hair was gone. Stephen stared at her in tearful horror as she touched her scalp, feeling the scrappy pieces of hair left behind. Her hair was lying in a heap on the ground.

Stephen reached out and touched her shoulder and Calista threw herself into his arms, sobbing into his chest. Stephen held her, but didn't say anything, or touch her head.

Calista didn't know how much time had passed, but by the time she stopped crying, Daniel had returned. His eyes met hers and Calista was surprised to see a hint of regret in his eyes. Daniel walked over to her and Stephen, who didn't let her go, and held out something. It was a doll, her doll Ester that Daniel had taken off her, claiming that she was too big for her. The doll had been falling apart, but Daniel had repaired it, filling her up with more Solack fur, and strengthening her stitching. Calista also saw some of her own hair had been sewn into the head, so Ester now had a head full of hair. Like she didn't have.

Calista took Ester into her hands and stared up at Daniel. Daniel stared back, his eyes like a battlefield. Turning away Daniel snapped,

"Get cleaned up and come and make the dinner girl. We're all hungry."

Calista stared up at his back, and then rushed to obey.

_(End Flashback)_

"Daniel used to be kind to me… or at least, kinder than he became. It was just after that, that I started to change, I mean, my body did. When I started to become a woman. He got crueller after that."

"Crueller than hacking all your hair off?" demanded Faith.

"That was the point when he got worse, he'd never done such a thing to me before. I mean, he'd slap me when I was bold, but after he cut my hair, after I started to become a woman, nothing I did could please him."

Calista was leaning against Buffy, who had an arm around her shoulders, rubbing her arm. Cordelia had tears in her eyes.

"I'm sorry Calista. I should have asked. I didn't mean-"

"I know Cordelia. I know." Calista sounded resigned. "I'm sorry Cordelia. I'm sorry for trying to hate you. It wasn't your fault what happened… I don't blame you."

Cordelia smiled in gratitude and said, "Thank you Calista."

The two young women smiled at each other and then Cordy said, "Do you want to leave doing the hair, or try again?"

"We'll try again… I feel less nervous now."

"That's the good thing about talking. Helps with problems and feelings." said Fred, smiling. Calista nodded and moved back to her original place and Cordy started to cut her hair again. This time though, Calista looked relaxed and as the girls began to chat about everything, Calista smiled, enjoying the relaxing feeling of Cordy doing her hair, the tasty food she was eating, and the feeling of normalcy, of being a normal girl. She'd never felt like that before.

* * *

Not much longer until the babies are born I think. And of course we still have the First to deal with. Stay tuned! Lol

Night's Darkness


	23. Photographs

Ok, here's another chapter, only because I wasn't bothered waiting any longer to update.

Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 23**

Connor sighed to himself, tugging at his hair, hunched over the lobby desk. He hadn't slept well last night, without Calista near him, he was restless and had weird dreams. He would be glad when this photographer had been and gone, so things would go back to normal. Calista had been very anxious over it all and that made Connor jumpy.

"Connor?"

Connor's head snapped up at Calista's voice. His jaw fell open in shock as he stared at her. Her lovely blonde hair, which he loved, had been cut into many layers, which flattered her face, and all the ringlets were loose and free. It had been cut so it was only half way down her back and it seemed lighter, both in weight and colour.

"Wow!" he blurted. Calista blinked at him, Connor blushed, "I mean, you look… amazing."

"Thanks. Cordy… she's good at hair." said Calista as she waddled over to him. Connor's arms twitched to envelope her, but he remembered himself in time and didn't.

"It's… nice. Looks… soft."

"You can touch it if you want." Calista seemed shy. Connor reached out and touched her hair, stroking it. It was like silk in his fingers. "Just watch the curls."

Connor's eyes flew to Calista's and they twinkled at him, as if she was laughing at him. He grinned and nodded, careful not to pull the ringlets out of shape as he stroked the blonde strands.

"How do you feel?"

"Lighter. I mean, inside. Everything's easier, you know. I don't feel so… burdened I guess. Last night was so wonderful. The other girls don't get how great it is, to just sit and eat delicious food and talk as openly as you want to, knowing that nothing will be repeated outside the room. To feel so secure and safe and… happy. I mean… it was indulgence, it was unnecessary, but it was so much fun and it didn't feel like I was doing anything wrong. I've never felt like that before." Calista smiled up at him and Connor smiled back, seeing it in her face. She looked happier than he'd ever seen her.

"When's the photographer getting here?"

"I think at one. Cordy said something about the sunlight. I didn't get it." Calista shrugged, her smile widening. "I'm almost excited about this. It might be fun."

"Yeah, I'm sure it will be."

"It sure will! Get over here Connor, you need a hair cut and now that I've practised on Calista, I'm gonna give you one." ordered Cordy as she came down the stairs, scissors and comb in hand. "Angel's asked that the photographer take a few pictures of the two of you together, and you buster, need a hair cut. And a clean shirt, but that's already handled, because we found a nice new shirt that you left in your drawer."

Connor blushed, "You were rooting through my stuff."

"We needed to see if you had a decent shirt and it's a good thing Fred got you one you never wore. It'll look good on you. Now come here."

"Go on Connor, you'll be fine." smiled Calista, giving him a little push. Connor smiled at her and followed Cordy upstairs. Calista smiled to herself and rubbed her belly as one of the babies moved inside her. There was very little movement now, with so little room to move, but there was still the occasional kick. Calista knew it wouldn't be long before she gave birth and became a mother. The idea made her feel giddy and terrified all at once. But she knew she'd have the others to help her. That is… if they were still alive after the fight with the First.

Calista could remember the experience of being Creation, feeling the power overwhelming her, feeling everything that was created, that was living as part of her. It had been incredible, and frightening. But that had made her aware of everything that was created, and that included the Turok-Han. Buffy still had to face them, and she would succeed, but how many would get out alive was another matter entirely.

Calista hadn't said anything, not willing to spoil the good mood of the others. She didn't want to cause them any fear, not when they'd been so kind to her.

"Calista! Come and get changed. The photographer will be here in half an hour." called Dawn. Calista looked up at the younger girl and nodded, walking up the stairs to follow her.

* * *

"So am I just taking pictures of the one person? And a couple of pictures of two? Any others? 'cause I've got lots of time. If you like I could take group shots and black and whites. I mean, with all the recent goings on, not many people want their picture taken."

Angel instantly liked this man. He was very young, probably 21 or 22, with piercing green eyes that were full of warmth, his skin was golden, and he had soft black hair. He was well built, dressed like a cross between Indiana Jones and a surfer, and he had a kind face. Plus he was friendly and cheerful, and seemed to know what he was doing. As a bonus, his accent was unmistakably Irish, although definitely Leinster, not Connacht born. If Angel would hazard a guess, he would have said he had a bit of a Dublin accent, but this was only slight, so he probably grew up outside Dublin and then lived in the city for a while before coming to America. The man reminded Angel of Doyle in a pleasant way. And judging by the wistful smile on Cordy's face she felt the same.

"Well… you know, if it's not too much trouble that'd be great. Although I have to say any pictures with me in them will have to be taken inside… I can't go outside. The sun and I are not friends."

"Ah, gotcha buddy, no problem, these steps, with all those jasmine flowers in the background will be fine for group shots. But you want the girl in the garden, right?"

"Yeah. We want her in the sun."

"Grand so!" he grinned. Dawn sighed dreamily. The guy's accent was making all the girls weak at the knees it seemed. Never underestimate the power of an Irish brogue. "So where is the lass?"

"She'll be down in a minute, she's really heavily pregnant, so gotta walk slow." said Dawn, smiling brightly at the man.

"Ah, right. I knew a girl who was pregnant, she's probably had her kids by now, then again, maybe not, since it was her first, and ain't they always late?"

"I'm not sure. But we're all on our toes."

"Relation o' yours?"

"My… younger brother's girlfriend."

"Nice one. So you know if yer gettin' a nephew or a niece?"

"No idea. And it's twins, so… could be both."

"Even be''er!"

"Yes, more babies is always better. But enough about that. What's your name, Mr. Professional-Photographer?" Anya had a wide smile on her face and Xander was glaring daggers at the man.

"Oh! Right, where are me manners? I'm Kevin McDonnell, nice to meet you Mrs…?"

"Anya. And it's Ms, not Mrs. Why would you assume that? Do I look like an old wife?" Anya touched her hair in alarm. Kevin laughed,

"Not at all Ms. Anya. It's just with the way that boyo's glaring at me, I'd have taken 'im for your husband." He nodded to Xander. Anya looked at Xander in surprise and Xander flushed and looked away.

"Boyo?" asked Connor, creasing his brow as he came into the lobby. His hair was cut neat and simple, even edges all around, but otherwise the same.

"Aye, means boy, man, lad, you get the idea. It's an Irish thing."

"You're Irish?" Connor perked up at once, "So am I… well Irish descendant anyway."

"Sure, ain't half the American population? Nice to meet you. What's your name Irish descendant?"

"Connor."

"Good strong Irish name."

"This is my brother." said Angel, not missing the way Connor's lips trembled with amusement at the statement, "You'll be photographing his girlfriend and maybe a few of Connor with her. I'm Liam by the way."

"Cool. So Connor, you're awful young to be becoming a dad. Good luck to you. Or I suppose more appropriately, Bail ó Dhia ort!"

"What?"

"Means 'Blessings of God on you'. Kinda a way to say good luck, since I can't remember what good luck is in Gaelic. Never was that good at it. It was only goin' to Connemara that I passed my Leaving."

"Leaving? You're leaving? You haven't taken the pictures yet." said Buffy as she came, having only caught the last two words. Kevin laughed,

"No. I was talking about my Leaving Cert. It's the state exams you take before you can go to university. Gaelic, or Irish as most of us call it in school, is a mandatory subject, along with English and Maths."

"Good to see they're keeping the ties to the past alive."

"You kiddin'? Most kids wish they'd kill the damn thing. Everyone speaks English, the language is useless unless you're in the west areas of the country in the Gaeltachts, and its bloody impossible 'cause for every rule there's a million exceptions. Most kids don't treat it like a subject, they treat it like a punishment. I did back when I was in Secondary School, what you call high school. The only reason anyone learns it is 'cause if ye don't have it, yer not getting into university, and you need to these days to get anywhere in life. Sad really, after all the work, an' people dyin' for Ireland and the right to learn our native language, no one can be bothered their arse to do it. Then again, maybe if the TD's didn't force it down our throats we wouldn't have an issue with it."

Angel looked sad and Connor looked confused.

"So, no one speaks Irish anymore?"

"In the west they do, and that's where kids go to learn, at the Gaeltacht, it's like a summer camp where everyone speaks Irish. But if you're in Dublin, don't expect anyone to be able to say more than hello and how are you. Some might be able to say 'Phóg mo thón', and a few other phrases, but it only comes out at St. Patrick's Day. People just don't see the point, I guess. National pride has worn us down a bit I'd say, you know, with the Troubles in the North being so violent, maybe people wonder where National pride get us." There was a beat of silence, "Anyway! Ain't nothing we can do about it now, so lets get started shall we? Where oh where is mummy to be?"

Buffy giggled, Kevin was very charming, his accent only accentuating that, and said, "I'll go get her. She's a bit nervous, so… no fussing."

"No problemo." smiled Kevin.

"Oh, here she comes." Buffy nodded to the stairs and Connor turned around to see Calista walking down them, in a pretty white dress, which flattered her large belly, reached her knees and on her feet she wore white crochet pumps. She was watching where she walked when Kevin's astounded voice cried out,

"Calista!"

"Kevin!" Calista's eyes were huge as she stared at the young photographer. Kevin pushed past Connor to reach her as she entered the lobby. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm here to take your picture I think. My god! Look at you, you look amazing!" Kevin held his arms out and Calista hugged him briefly. Connor's features darkened at once. Angel was surprised that Calista would allow a man that she wasn't close to to touch her. Angel felt his own hackles rise at the threat to his son's position in his mate's heart.

"I can't believe you're here. This is so… strange."

"Strange does seem to be the word of the month." chuckled Kevin.

"How do you two know each other?" asked Buffy, wide eyed.

"I was a volunteer at a shelter, where I met Calista. We're friends." smiled Kevin, not looking away from Calista. Calista's cheeks were going pink. "My God, I never thought I'd lay eyes on you again."

"I didn't think I'd see you again either. Oh Kevin, it's so good to see you."

"Shouldn't you get started? You don't wanna loose the light." said Connor snippily, his eyes narrow. Kevin and Calista looked at him and Kevin's eyes darkened as he put two and two together and got four and a half.

"Yeah. Right. The light." Kevin looked Connor over, as if suddenly seeing him in a less appealing light. Connor stared back with a similar expression. Calista looked nervous.

"What do you want me to do Kevin?"

"Come and I'll see where the best places are in the garden." Kevin touched Calista's back, guiding her into the garden. Connor growled like a territorial dog. Angel put his hand on Connor's shoulder, squeezing it in support, comfort and warning. It wouldn't do for Connor to lose his temper today.

Kevin, meanwhile, got Calista to sit on the bench and made a square with his hands, tilting his head this way and that. Calista watched him with a bewildered expression and giggled a little at him.

"What are you doing?"

"Makin' sure this looks right. Seems so. Ok! Shall we get started madam?"

Calista giggled, sounding more nervous this time. "If you like. What do I do?"

"Well, lets see now… you want your abdomen to be part of the focus, seein' as these are supposed to be pregnancy photos. So lean to the left, on your left hand, like that, yeah. Ok… think you can lift yer legs up onto the bench?"

Calista did so, and Kevin moved her free arm so she was cradling her stomach with it. Then he plucked a spring of jasmine from the abundant amount of it and slipped it into her curls, behind her ear. Calista wrinkled her nose at the strong smell. She didn't really like it.

"Ok, now, look at me, and smile, naturally, just relax and smile. Think of something funny."

"Does right now count?"

"Cheeky! Ok, here we go."

Kevin took picture after picture, alternating between cameras, going for black and white then coloured. He got Calista to pose in various ways, always chatting to her about idle things, making her laugh, keeping her relaxed. Connor watched from the shadows, feeling almost sick with jealousy. He couldn't make Calista laugh like that. He only seemed to make her cry.

"All righty then. That should be enough of mummy on her own. Let's get the daddy into the picture eh?" Kevin's smile was a little less enthusiastic, but Calista just smiled and nodded, not really noticing. Connor sauntered over, a glum expression on his face. Kevin got them to sit on the bench again and 'humm'ed to himself, looking thoughtful. Cordy, Angel and Buffy watched with anxious expressions, worried what might happen.

"Ok, Connor, I want you to put one hand on Calista's stomach, and the other around her waist, that ok Calista?"

"Yes." Calista's cheeks were pink as Connor did as he was told. Her eyes met Connor's and their brows rested against each other's, while Calista's hand rested on top of Connor's on her stomach. Connor stared into her eyes, seeing the care within, and he smiled a little, feeling comforted that she looked like that at him. Calista smiled at him, her fingertips brushing over his jaw. Kevin immortalised the moment with his camera, a sad look in his eyes, but there was also understanding there too.

The rest of the pictures were easy enough, Angel, without leaving the hotel's shade, insisting on them repeating the image that had sparked this idea, which was harder because pretending to be asleep like he wanted them to was not easy and they kept laughing.

Then Calista got tired so Kevin let her take a break, while he photographed Buffy when she passed under one of the few trees in the garden and the dotted sunlight fell on her golden skin, making her glow, and Dawn when she looked up at the sky to see a rabbit in the clouds that Willow had pointed out. Kevin got Kennedy nuzzling into Willow's neck, he got Fred wrapped in Wesley's arms as they watched the Potentials chat together before they went out to see a movie. He was unphased by Lorne's appearance, asking him where he'd learned to do his make up, and getting several pictures of the demon. Faith was photographed smirking at Xander because of a barb by Anya, who were also in the picture. Gunn was caught on camera polishing his beloved axe, with Angel behind him testing his sword's weight and balance.

"You fellas collect those things?"

"Pretty much. A collective hobby around here, along with ancient books."

"And beautiful women it seems. I never see so many in the one place. And they're all so unique in their beauty. No doubt about it. You fellas are very lucky bastards."

"That we are." agreed Angel, smiling at Buffy. She smiled back. Kevin snapped the moment. "You never miss a thing, do you?"

"Not if I can help it. I love natural photos. Choreographed ones can only be so realistic. It's the natural ones, like when a man brushes a lock of hair out of his lover's eyes that make the big impact."

"And the big money." added Anya, while Xander rolled his eyes affectionately. Kevin snapped his camera again and said,

"Sure, if it was about the money I'd been taking every job I get offered. No, for me it's about the art. I'm one of those emotional, cries at Titanic, loves-a-good-soap-but-still-maintains-my-heterosexuality-by-loving-hockey-and-soccer kinda guys."

"Are you single?" asked Anya. Kevin nodded, pretending to only be paying half attention while he fiddled with his cameras.

"I am. Now how's about them group shots ye wanted?"

The group shots were chaotic, with varying degrees of vanity in play. Some pushed forward, others pushed into the back and Kevin had to call them to order to get anything done.

"Women in front, fellas at the back, tallest in the middle, smallest on the edges, not that hard folks."

They managed to get it sorted and Kevin took loads of pictures, getting them to sit and stand, kneel and pose, sometimes getting them to pose in such silly ways they were all in fits.

"Right so, I think that's enough for the day. I still haveta develop all o' these. So I think I shall say 'slán' to you fine folks and head back to my apartment. Might get some work done before the night is out."

"Oh my god it's six! We've been at this five hours?"

"As they say, time flies when you're havin' fun."

"Sure did."

Kevin packed up his cameras, his eyes flicking to Calista who was talking with Buffy in an excited state. Eventually he caught her eye and raised his eyebrows at her. She nodded at him and followed him out, saying she wanted to see him off.

"Thank you for coming today Kevin."

"My pleasure. Here, listen Calista… about Connor… are you two…?"

"… I don't know. I really wish I did, but I don't know how I feel for him, or what kind of future we have."

"Ok… well, if you need a friend, here's my address."

Calista took the offered piece of paper and held it against her heart. "Thank you Kevin."

"You're welcome Calista. I hope to hear from you."

"You will. I promise." Calista leaned over and kissed Kevin's cheek for a moment and then she walked back inside.

"Those pictures will look amazing. He made me look great back when I got him to take my picture." Cordy was saying as Calista came in.

"I love him! I want to have sex with him!" declared Anya.

"You're not the only one." said Dawn, not caring that Buffy shot her a narrow-eyed look.

Calista felt a strange movement in her lower back and paused to examine it, but it passed too quick for her to figure it out. She admitted she'd felt a fair few during the shoot, but had ignored them then too.

"He's a charming man." admitted Wesley, his arms around Fred.

"Must be the Irish in him." purred Buffy, wrapping her arms around Angel's neck as she kissed him. Angel smirked to himself.

Connor looked at Calista and saw the way she was frowning in confusion.

"You ok?"

"Yes. It's just a slight pain. I'm fine."

"It's been a long day. Maybe you should go to bed. You ought not to be on your feet so much."

"Yes. That's probably it. I guess I'll go to bed for a while."

"I can bring you up some food so you don't have to get up."

"Thank you Connor." Calista smiled at him and Connor smiled back, feeling happy that the smile was so genuine and her eyes sparkled.

"I'll walk you up too. In case you need me to carry you." he added, half teasing as he followed her up the stairs. Calista stared at him in surprise then giggled a little and let him take her elbow and walk with her.

When they got to the room, Calista turned to him and said,

"Thank you for the escort."

"You're welcome." whispered Connor, staring at her hard. Calista's smile faltered a little. Connor took hold of her shoulders and kissed her on the mouth with hunger. Calista squeaked in surprise, then groaned as Connor flicked his tongue into her mouth, putting his arms around her and pulling her close. Calista fisted her hands into his sleeves, and Connor wasn't sure if she was trying to push him away or pull him closer. Finally he pulled away, only to start kissing down her jaw and neck.

"C-Connor! W-wait, Connor!"

Connor ignored her, only groaned in relief at the smell of her skin, the feel of it under his lips. Calista grabbed his shoulders and pushed him away, looking frightened.

"Calista-"

"You'd better change your shoes."

"What?" Connor stared at her like she was mad.

"My waters just broke all over them."

Connor's eyes widened as he looked down. His shoes were wet, as were Calista's and the carpet around them. He looked up and met Calista's wide eyes, seeing the fright in them as they realised they were about to become parents.

"Oh."

* * *

Yep, at long last we're at that time. Next chapter… the BIRTH!

Night's Darkness


	24. Birth Day

Ok, here's THE chapter… and there's another 14 chapters left. That's right! I've finished this rewrite! (there so should be a party!)

Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 24**

Calista sat down on the edge of the bed, looking shaky. Connor stared at her, mute. He was still standing in the puddle of her waters. Neither could speak. Finally Calista winced and burst into tears. Connor's eyes widened and he reached towards her.

"Cal, it's ok. Don't be scared."

"I can't help it! Oh God! I don't want to do this." she wailed, clutching her stomach. "I don't want to do this."

"I don't think you've got much of an option." said Connor, feeling helpless. "Come on, we'll get you to the hospital, and then we'll-"

"No! No! I don't want to go to the hospital. I want to stay here."

"Calista, you need a doctor to deliver the babies."

"I don't care. I'm not going anywhere!" Calista winced again and then started letting out 'oh's of pain. Connor held her, rubbing her back, while she tried to breath through the pain. When it passed he said,

"I'm going to get dad and Wesley. They'll know what to do."

"Ok. Don't be long."

"I won't be." Connor wanted to kiss her to reassure her, but he knew now was a really bad time. He ran out of the room and into the lobby. "Dad?"

"Just a minute Connor." said Angel, having a discussion with Wesley and Giles about the Potentials' training. Connor raised his eyebrows, but waited a minute before saying

"Dad." again.

"Connor, hang on!" Angel continued to talk to Wesley and Giles, ignoring his son. Connor folded his arms, feeling very annoyed.

"DAD!"

"What Connor? What can't wait two minutes so I can finish talking to Giles and Wesley?" demanded Angel, regarding his son with annoyance.

"Fine. Never mind, I'll just go tell Calista you're too busy talking to help her while she has the babies now." Connor shrugged and started to walk away. Buffy grabbed his arm with a vice-like grip.

"She's in labour? Are you sure?"

"Waters broke all over the carpet and my shoes, yes I'm sure."

"Oh God! We gotta get her to the hospital."

"She won't go. For some reason she doesn't want to go to the hospital."

"Is she crazy? She can't not go to the hospital. She needs a doctor to deliver the babies."

"Couldn't Wesley do it? He seemed to know what to do the last time."

"Connor I know the procedure, but I've never actually delivered a baby. And considering that any number of complications could arise from all the stress she's been under…"

"Well then you'll have to help me convince her to come to the hospital." said Connor matter of factly.

"Ok, come on."

They rushed up to the bedroom. Calista was sitting on the bed, looking very scared, her face white as paper.

"Hey." said Angel in a soft voice, walking over to her, and crouching in front of her, "So, it's time."

"Yes, I guess it is."

"What's all this about you refusing to go to the hospital?"

"I don't want to go there!" snapped Calista. Angel didn't flinch.

"Why not?"

"Because! Don't you think it'll be a bit strange for me to show up without a cast on my arm? And besides we've no idea what will happen during the labour. Something… not normal could happen."

"Well we could go to another hospital for the cast issue and… wouldn't it be better to be in a place where the babies would have a better chance of a safe delivery?"

"Calista, please. I know you're scared, but the hospital is the best place for both you and the babies." urged Buffy. Calista bit her lip.

"Cal?"

Calista looked up and met Connor's gentle eyes. He stared straight at her, "Please."

Calista swallowed and then, after a moment, nodded. "Ok."

"Good!" Angel straightened up. "Let's get your bag and-"

"On one condition." said Calista, looking firm.

"What?"

"You bring Spike to the hospital."

Angel's brain skidded to a halt.

"What?" blurted Buffy, looking stunned.

"I want Spike to be there. I trust him, he… he makes me feel safe. I want him to be at the hospital when I have the babies. If you can't promise me that, then we're not going."

"Calista he could be anywhere! We'd have to search the whole city."

"Then you'd better get started." Calista grimaced and let out a series of pained huffs as she breathed through another contraction.

* * *

Angel growled to himself as he stormed through the city of L.A., searching for his missing grandchilde while his **grandchildren** were being born. Granted, Calista would probably be at least a couple of hours, if not twelve or more, but the point was, that Angel should have been at the hospital, not scouring the city for a single vampire.

Spike's trail was none-existent, but Angel knew Spike. Drink would be the operative word in this search, so he was checking the most likely demon bars he thought might produce some results.

Thirty Demon Bars later and he was still Spike-less. This was getting ridiculous. But he'd promised Calista and he intended to keep his promise.

Demon Bar thirty-one finally produced some results.

"-all over Captain Forehead like he was ice cream, I still can't believe she did this. After everythin' I did for her… I got me soul for 'er! What did Peaches do? 'E left her to come to this stink-hole of a city."

Spike was sitting at the bar, piss-drunk, shouting out his woes, while the other demons rolled their eyes in disgust.

"'E's the champion. 'E's the one who had a soul shoved up his ass against his will. E's the one who cries in a corner and runs 'is fingers through 'is product loaded hair making his already huge forehead even bigger! I'm ten times better 'han 'im and she chose him!?"

"That's right peroxide boy, she did, now get over it." said Angel, having heard enough.

Spike twisted on his stool, almost falling off it in his drunken state.

"You!" he growled, glaring at Angel through his cloudy eyes.

"Me. You think we could take this outside Spike?"

"I'm gonna bloody stake ya, ya ponce!" snarled Spike, staggering off the stool and charging at Angel. Angel side stepped him and Spike crashed into the wall, swearing as he did. Angel rolled his eyes and grabbed his grandchilde by the scruff of his beloved duster and dragged him out, pausing at the door. The gathering within was staring at him.

"As you were people. Have a nice night." and he walked out, Spike moaning in his grip.

When they got to the alley behind the bar Angel set Spike on his feet and punched him. Spike crashed into the dustbins.

"Ow! What the bloody hell was that for?"

"That was for making me go looking for you when I should be at the hospital with my family while my grandchildren are being born!"

"What? Calista's having the kids now?" Spike stood up, holding his jaw.

"Isn't that what I just said?" sneered Angel.

"I'm still drunk you pillock! For all I know you could have said she'd sprouted wings and flown to Hawaii."

"What?"

"Never mind, if she's having the kids now, why the hell are you here?"

"Because for reasons I will never understand Calista likes you and trusts you and the only way we could convince her to go to the hospital was if I promised to bring you there too before she had the babies."

"She… she wants me to be there?" Spike sounded astonished.

"Yes you moron! In case you haven't noticed, she trusts you more than me. I guess 'cause I'm Connor's father. But she cares for you and she needs to be there for her. She's frightened, no she's terrified about becoming a mother, about getting through the labour. She needs you to hold her hand for at least a little while. Can you do that Spike?"

"Hit me."

"Excuse me?"

"I need to sober up! Hit me!"

Angel hit him, hard. Spike staggered, then said, "Again!" Angel obeyed, smirking to himself. "Ok, I think-" Angel hit him again. "Ow! That's enough Peaches! God!" snarled Spike, clutching his face. "I'll get you back for that."

"Whatever Spike, let's get going."

* * *

Cordelia's hand was being crushed to dust, but the woman ignored it, cooing to Calista as she huffed through the contraction. Connor was on her other side, letting his hand be crushed too. When the contraction passed, Calista lay back against the pillow panting.

"You're doing great sweetie." said Cordy, stroking Calista's pretty hair.

"Six hours of labour, and I'm one centimetre dilated, with nine to go! At this rate, how many hours will that take?"

"54." said Fred, without really thinking. Calista groaned and covered her eyes. Cordy and Connor shot Fred an exasperated look. "Sorry."

"I'm sure it'll speed up soon. Don't worry."

"Where's Spike? He's still not here."

"Angel called, he said they'll be here in half an hour. Don't worry. He'll be here."

Connor pulled a jealous expression, and Cordy gave him a sympathetic one.

"Good." said Calista, "I'll feel so much better once he… oh! Ah!" She grabbed their hands again and huffed and cried out. When it passed Calista grunted, "I'm thirsty and my back hurts."

"Ok, Connor you rub her back and I'll get her some ice chips." said Cordy. "Buffy take her hand."

Buffy took Cordy's place and smiled down at the girl, "You're doing good."

"I'm so tired Buffy, I just want this pregnancy over with. It feels like I've been pregnant for years and years."

"It'll be over soon, according to the baby book twins generally come faster. I think because they're smaller."

"Well any time my body wants to dilate the rest of the way I'll be happy to encourage it." Calista said as Connor rubbed her lower back, "I remember one woman telling me that birth is essentially pushing something the size of a melon out of something the size of a tennis ball. I don't want to do that for long."

"And on that unpleasant note, we'll give you some privacy." said Xander standing up from the bed he'd been sitting on in the empty semi-private room, looking eager to leave.

"Your support knows no bounds Xander." sneered Cordy as she came back in.

"Actually it doesn't, but we all know I'm the last person who should be here, I'll go and keep an eye out for Spike and Deadboy, make sure they find you here."

"Thanks Xander." said Calista, popping ice chips into her mouth. Connor kept rubbing her back, and it seemed to be helping.

As Xander left, the doctor entered. None of them had expected it to be her.

"Well isn't this a coincidence."

"Dr. Espinosa!"

"Calista, it's nice to see you again." Dr. Espinosa smiled at the teen. Her eyes landed on Calista's arm and widened a little, no doubt clearly remembering the last time they'd met. But she said nothing. "How are you doing?"

"All right I guess."

"Well, I'd like a few words with you about the birth, is that ok?"

"Um… s-sure."

"Would you like to speak in private?"

"I… I don't know." Calista looked to Buffy and then at Connor. At last she said, "Can Buffy stay with me?"

Connor looked crushed.

"Of course. Whatever makes you the most comfortable."

"Ok, you guys go outside, and we'll let you know when you can come back in." said Buffy, throwing Connor an apologetic look. Connor just continued to look like a kicked puppy as he followed the others out of the room. Once the door was shut Dr. Espinosa walked up to Calista's side and put a hand on her arm.

"Ok, I just wanted to see if you had any idea of the way you want to deliver the babies."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean would you like to do it in a crouch, on your knees, you know the various birthing positions."

"I thought you gave birth lying down." said Buffy, surprised.

"That's the TV position because it's the least exposing for the actresses and the easiest to hide the fact that there is in fact no baby being born. In reality it's been determined as the worst position, because it compresses major blood vessels and increases the chances of laceration."

"Laceration?"

"Tearing of the birth canal."

"Ouch." Buffy grimaced.

"It's a common enough occurrence, and it heals fine if treated properly. But now Calista, what way would you like to give birth in."

"I… I don't know. I didn't know there was a choice. I… I don't know anything about birth. I'm sorry."

Dr. Espinosa's eyes darkened and Buffy was glad the woman knew something of Calista's life. It ensured she'd know how to behave.

"Ok, that's ok. Now, lots of women find the easiest way is to crouch, and it is the old traditional way, way back in biblical times."

"Really?"

"Absolutely. The Virgin Mary would have given birth that way, her cousin Elizabeth, Jacob's four wives, all the women of the bible probably gave birth crouching."

"Then I think I'll do it that way. If the Virgin Mary did it that way then it must be acceptable by God."

Buffy fought not to swear or roll her eyes. She was getting really sick of hearing that sort of stuff. Dr. Espinosa seemed to have similar feelings.

"Ok. Now, these days, it's perfectly acceptable to give birth naked, to ensure skin to skin contact with the babies when they're born. Would you like to do that?"

"Is that a good thing?"

"It's considered beneficial for mother and child, for maternal bonding."

"I don't know… I mean… who would be in the room."

"Me, an assistant, and any support you want."

"So… if I didn't want someone there, they wouldn't be allowed in?"

"Exactly."

"Ok… I… um… I don't know- ah!" Calista gripped Buffy's hand as she experienced another contraction. When it passed Calista looked to Buffy, "Buffy what do I do? Connor wants to be there… but I'm not sure if I'm ok with that or not."

"I know things have been hard between you two Calista, but he does love you, and after everything, I honestly think he deserves to be there for the birth of his children. But if you're not comfortable with it, then say so."

Calista sighed, "No, no I want him to be there. He, he deserves it. Will you come with me too? Is that ok doctor?"

"Of course."

Buffy's eyes widened. She could remember having to watch a birthing video in biology in high school and having no appetite for days afterwards. Still, she couldn't exactly say no, not to those pleading eyes.

"Ok." she squeaked.

"Good, well, when you're moved to the delivery room Buffy and Connor can come with us and help you deliver the babies."

"What exactly will I have to do? 'cause really not into the whole cutting of umbilicals."

"Don't worry, I'll take care of the babies. You focus on Calista here." Dr. Espinosa squeezed Calista's arm, "I'll just check to see if you've dilated any further and then I'll leave you to it for a while."

While the doctor checked, Calista met Buffy's eyes and she whispered, "Thank you." with such sincerity that Buffy was touched and she squeezed her hand in comfort and support.

"No problem."

"Ok, you're two centimetres dilated now, so it's still going to be a while, but don't worry. You'll get through it like every other woman." smiled Dr. Espinosa. Calista sighed and nodded her head. "Will I send Connor back in?"

"Please. Thank you doctor."

"No problem."

Dr. Espinosa left and Connor came back in a few seconds later, followed by Spike and Angel.

"Spike!" Calista's face lit up and she held out her hand to the blond vampire who smiled and took it, squeezing it.

"Hello luv. How you holdin' up?"

"Fine I guess. Only two centimetres dilated though."

"You can handle it pet, don't you worry."

Calista smiled, then wrinkled her nose, "You were drinking. A lot."

"Yeah, but I've sobered up proper, so no worries." said Spike, looking embarrassed. Connor smirked to himself. Calista looked at him and touched his cheek. At once Connor looked at her.

"I've asked for you and Buffy to be with me in the delivery room. Is that ok? Do you want to be there?"

"Of course I want to. I want to be with you." said Connor, taking her hand and holding her hand tightly.

"I'm glad you're here Connor." she murmured, smiling at him. Connor beamed at her with devotion and Buffy felt sorry for the both of them. Judging by the expression on Angel's face he felt the same. Even Spike looked saddened.

* * *

Calista looked exhausted as another contraction brought her up and wrung her out until she was boneless and whimpering. It had been 55 hours since she'd gone into labour, and neither Spike, Buffy, Angel nor Connor had left her side for a moment.

"I can't take this anymore!" she wailed, crying bitterly, "Seven women have come and gone to have their babies. And I'm still here. Why is this taking so long? Is this some sort of punishment from God? How much more can he put me through before he decides I've been through enough?"

"This isn't God Calista, this is just… nature. I don't know why it's taking so long, but you're nearly there, the doctor said you were nine centimetres the last time." said Connor, trying to sooth her.

"That was six hours ago Connor! Oh God help me! Make it stop!" she screamed as another contraction wore her out. Buffy wiped her brow with a cool sponge, feeling exhausted just watching her. Suddenly Calista let out a different kind of cry and she snapped, "Get the doctor! NOW!"

Angel bolted out and in a minute he was back with Dr. Espinosa. Calista looked at her with desperation.

"Ok, let's see how you're doing." Dr. Espinosa quickly checked Calista and she grinned, "I think you're ready Calista, you're ten centimetres dilated. You're about to become a mummy."

"Really? Oh God just get them out of me!"

"Let's get her out of the bed and into the delivery room." urged the doctor to Connor and Buffy. Together they lifted Calista off the bed and onto her feet where she was sat in a wheelchair and they hurried to the delivery room. Angel and Spike were forced to stay behind at the door, while Connor and Buffy went inside.

"Ok Calista, just take off your gown and crouch down on the mat there." said Dr. Espinosa as she quickly scrubbed up and her assistant pulled latex gloves over her hands. Trembling Calista did so, all humility left back in the ward. Connor let out a strange noise from his throat as the gown was dropped but he said nothing, only crouched beside her, hooking his arm under Calista's knee when the doctor told him to. Buffy did the same, while Dr. Espinosa went behind Calista.

"All right Calista we're all ready here, so with the next contraction push for the whole thing."

Calista put her arms around Buffy and Connor's necks and used them as supports as she scrunched up her face and began to push. Dr. Espinosa encouraged her, saying things like 'Good' and 'Push' until the contraction had stopped and Calista sagged in Connor and Buffy's arms.

"Good girl, the head's crowning, another two and we'll have this little guy out. Push!"

Neither Buffy nor Connor could stop themselves from looking down as Calista pushed again, eyes huge as they watched the head emerge.

"C'mon Calista you can do it." urged Connor, not taking his eyes away from the baby emerging from his mate's womb.

"You're doing brilliantly, just a little more." urged Buffy. Calista let out a cry of agony as the contraction passed and sagged again.

"Ok, I have the head, he's coming quickly, that's good."

"That's easy for you to say." groaned Calista, her face flushed red and sweat glistening on her skin. Her whole body was trembling and only Buffy and Connor kept her up.

"One more should do it and then you can take a little rest. Push."

Calista pushed as hard as she could, the tension of her body rippling through Connor and Buffy as they cheered her on, still not looking away.

"Push! Push! Come on Cal! You can do it!"

"Good, good. Push, push! Good, good."

"Oh God!" Calista screamed, almost collapsing in their arms. The next second there was another scream. An angry scream. A newborn scream.

"It's a girl Calista! Oh my God, she's so tiny." gasped Connor, laughing.

"Let me see her!" Calista lifted her head, her face drawn.

Dr. Espinosa slipped the baby in front of Calista, letting the newborn rest against Calista's heaving chest. Calista let out a sob of relief as she stared down at her daughter. The baby continued to scream, sucking air deep into her newly working lungs. She was small and scrawny, with a mop of dark hair. Connor touched the child's slimy cheek, awe on his face. Buffy felt tears in her eyes. Then Calista cried out in pain and began to push again. The assistant took the baby girl from her and Connor and Buffy resumed their role as literal support.

Dr. Espinosa frowned when the baby's head didn't emerge. After a quick check she said,

"Calista this one's in breech, so you're going to have to push even harder."

"I can't!" she wailed, tears streaming down her cheeks.

"You have to!" said the doctor.

"I can't, please, you do it." Calista's eyes were rolling around in her head, and Connor stared at her with fear. Then he tightened his grip on her and said, staring straight into her eyes.

"Come on Cal. You've survived Quor-Toth, you've survived Daniel, you've survived so much. Just do this one last thing and I promise you can rest. Please, for me, for the baby, PUSH!"

Calista sobbed as she pushed harder, screaming in exhaustion, pain and relief as the baby slid out and began to wail.

"It's a boy." said Buffy, beaming. Calista collapsed, sobbing and trembling. The doctor said,

"Ok, let's lie her down so she can rest while we finish up with the after birth."

Connor and Buffy lifted Calista up and carried her to the reclining chair near them, once resting upon which Calista lay like a limp doll, still sobbing. While they did that the babies were wrapped in blankets and then they were given to their mother, resting on her chest. Calista stared at her son and then at her daughter and laughed and sobbed at once.

"Oh! Oh hello. I know you two. Did you really come out of there? Oh you're so tiny, and so perfect, aren't they just perfect Connor?"

Calista looked up at Connor, and Connor was struck by how she was glowing. She was still sweat covered and shaking, her face slowly loosing its redness, but literally glowing with happiness. To Connor, she looked absolutely beautiful, more like an angel now than when she had saved the world. Connor stroked her face, laughing with her, and then he kissed her face all over, and he kissed her lips. Calista smiled at him, lying back on the reclined chair, not even noticing as the afterbirth was delivered. The babies had stopped crying and were staring up at them with big blue eyes, whimpering at this strange new world they'd been forced into.

"It's ok, I know… it's ok." murmured Calista, pressing them to her. Connor looked tearful and then he laughed.

"Look Calista, he's got blond hair. Just like I wanted him to have."

"Oh I think she has your eyes. Oh they're so perfect, aren't they?"

"The most perfect creatures in the world." Connor murmured. Calista sniffed as her sobs quieted.

"I can feel it now Connor."

"What?"

"Creation. I can feel it everywhere around me. It's so amazing. Connor, our babies are miracles. They really are."

"Just like their mother."

"And their father." Calista touched his face, and kissed him. Buffy left them to announce to Angel that he was the proud grandfather of a boy and a girl.

* * *

Hm, hope no one found that too graphic.

Night's Darkness


	25. To Kiss or Not to Kiss?

If you thought things would get better after the babies had be born THINK AGAIN!!

Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 25**

Calista was asleep, unable to keep her eyes open once she'd been moved to her private room and seen the babies all clean and fresh and wrapped in blankets and tiny hats. Connor was torn trying to watch all three of them at once. At the moment he was holding the baby girl in his arms, like the nurse had shown him and he was staring down at her, his eyes huge as he unfolded the blanket a little to let her hands escape and flex, splayed like pink stars. The dark hair on her head was thick and downy soft, and her skin was smooth and healthy looking, feeling like silk under Connor's fingers.

"Where did you come from?" he asked her, putting his index finger into her palm, and gasping a little as she gripped it tight in her hand. Her grip was incredible. She was incredible and so was her brother who was nestled in the plastic crib by the bed.

There was a knock on the door, making Connor jump and the girl whimpered a little but he rocked her back to silence, before calling,

"Come in." in as soft a voice as he could. The door opened and Angel poked his head in.

"Hey." he whispered, "Can we come in?"

"Sure, just keep it down."

Angel nodded as he came in, followed by Buffy, Cordy and Spike. The women looked exhausted and the vampires looked drained. Connor was too overwhelmed to sleep.

Cordy went to his side and crouched down, staring at the baby in his arms, while Angel, Spike and Buffy stared down at the baby boy in his crib.

"My God, they are so beautiful. Oh Connor." gasped Cordy, squeezing Connor's bony shoulder, smiling at him with emotional eyes. "I'm so happy for you guys."

"They're so tiny." muttered Spike, staring down at the boy with a strange expression on his face. Buffy was smiling tenderly, almost a loving grandmother kind of way, feeling humbled that she'd watched these two creatures coming into the world. Angel just stared.

"Have you thought of names yet?"

"No. Not yet. At the moment they're just Baby Boy Angel and Baby Girl Angel." said Connor, sounding distant, too absorbed to be with them just then.

"How's Calista?"

"Exhausted. Dr. Espinosa said there was some tearing, but it was minor and she'd be fine. When she wakes up I'm to get a nurse so Calista can try to nurse the babies." Connor looked up at his father, staring up at the tall, broad man who didn't look a day above thirty-five, and he called, "Dad? What do you think of them?"

"I think that he looks just like you the day you were born." said Angel, meeting Connor's eyes. "I think that you were my miracle, and now you've had two of your own. I think I'm so proud of you and so happy… and so scared that I almost lost all this."

"It's ok dad, it's not your fault about Quor-Toth."

"No. Not about Quor-Toth. About after, how I threw you out of the house, left you alone in a world you didn't understand… Connor I'm so sorry."

Connor smiled at him. "It's ok dad, I get it. Neither of us really knew what we were doing or what to do. We all make mistakes."

Angel stared at his son, looking overwhelmed. "Thank you Connor."

"Oh my god, the pouf is going to cry." sneered Spike, shattering the moment. Angel glared at Spike.

"I am not gonna cry Peroxide Boy."

"Yeah, keep tellin' yourself that."

"Shhh!" hissed Connor, narrowing his eyes at them both, "So help me if you two wake Calista up after everything she's been through I'll kick you both into the sun to roast."

Both vampires saw he was serious and they fell quiet. Calista stirred and then settled again. Now that her stomach had sagged, since there was nothing to keep it so big, she looked very small.

Connor yawned.

"Connor, you should get some sleep." urged Cordy.

"I'm fine. I can go days without sleep."

"Just because you can, doesn't mean you have to." she said in a mothering tone, stroking his soft hair. "Now, even if it's in that chair, get some sleep, you'll need it."

"Oh that reminds me." Angel stuck a hand in one of his coat pockets and pulled something out that smelled familiar to Connor. "I went back to your old place, after finding Spike, and I looked around. I found this in among the debris."

Angel held out a limp little doll. It was identical to Calista's only it had no hair stuck to the head, and it looked a little more worn. Connor's eyes lit up at once.

"You found Solomon!" he beamed, "Thanks dad."

Angel smiled and held it out to him and Connor stretched to take it, being mindful of the baby at all times. He pressed Solomon to his chest and grinned up at his father like a happy child. Angel smiled back, feeling emotional again. Striding around the crib, Spike and Buffy, he went to Connor and hugged him briefly, feeling Connor rest his head on Angel's shoulder for a second.

"I really do love you Connor."

"I know you do dad." Connor smiled, even though Angel noticed he didn't say it back. However he was willing to be patient to hear it, knowing it would still take time for Connor to be comfortable enough with their relationship to say such a thing aloud. Angel smiled down at the little girl. "Hey, she looks a little like my sister, Catherine."

"You had a sister?"

"Yeah, she was younger than me, and she was the only one I really cared about in my family, and she loved me. Loved me so much she didn't question how I was alive after my funeral." Angel sighed with grief, then looked at Connor, "She was a beautiful child, and so is this one. Although I think she's got Calista's nose."

"Yeah, that's not my nose, it's too small." agreed Connor, smiling, "Definitely got my hair though."

"Yeah, definitely." Angel put one of his fingers in the girl's hand and she squeezed it tight, "And your strength."

"They got that from both Calista and me."

"Yeah."

"Did you call the hotel?"

"Yeah. They're all on the way, but they want to get some gifts for Calista first."

"That's nice of them."

"They're also gonna get some things for the babies, so they have their own stuff, not just hospital stuff."

Abruptly Calista woke up and sat up with a jolt, giving them all a fright.

"Bloody hell!" said Spike, "Warn a person if you're gonna do that."

Calista looked at him in surprise, then around the room, looking a little dazed. "I dreamt I'd had the babies."

"It wasn't a dream Cal. You did have them, look, they're right here." said Connor, standing up with inhuman grace and walking over with their daughter. Calista stared at the baby like she was an alien. "See, this is our daughter. Want to hold her?"

Calista's arms twitched and then she pulled away, "I don't know how." She looked horrified about this, like it was her own fault she knew nothing about holding a baby.

"It's ok, the nurse showed me, here, hold out your arms so your elbow's bent, and slip it under her head, like that, and then you scoop with the other arm, so you're supporting her body, and then hold her to your chest. Like that yeah. See. It's not hard. Just be careful of her head, it needs to be supported at all times."

Calista nodded, her eyes fixed on the face of the sleeping baby.

"She's tiny." whimpered Calista, tears in her eyes, "She's so small. Why's her head all weird though? Is something wrong with her?"

"No, it's just been compressed a little from the birth, it's to make it a little easier. Don't worry, it'll become a more normal shape in a little while. That's what the nurse said."

"Oh… good." Calista's lower lip was trembling as she studied the baby, her eyes wide and wet. Connor stroked her hair, watching her face carefully, while his free hand stuffed Solomon down the back of his trousers, with his shirt hiding the doll. "Where did you come from girl? Did you really come out of me? How is that even possible?"

"Miracle of Life." said Buffy, shrugging. Connor nodded and he kissed Calista's temple. Calista looked up at him in surprise, and then looked a little confused. Connor said nothing. The baby woke up, and blinked and then whined in a way that made Calista look alarmed. Cordy stepped forward,

"Connor said that the nurse was to be called when you woke up, so you could try nursing the babies."

"Oh, yes… um… c-could I have the other baby too please?"

"Sure." Cordy scooped the baby up and placed him in Calista's arms as well, all with practised ease. A look of jealousy flashed through Calista's eyes as Cordelia walked out of the room to get the nurse. Connor saw the look and whispered in Calista's ear,

"She only knows what to do because she took care of me when I was born. It was only a year ago, so she remembers it easy. Don't be jealous Calista, there's nothing wrong with being taught this stuff."

"I should know how to do it instinctively. And I don't." Calista narrowed her eyes.

"Calista most new mothers need to be guided at first, even in the past, they would have had help. Think of Cordy as the wise mother here to guide you along until you can stand on you own. There's no shame in that." said Angel, his vampire hearing having heard every word. Calista still looked unhappy. She'd probably expected an epiphany of understanding and knowledge to come with the birth, but had found that she knew no more than she had before.

Cordy returned with a cheery looking nurse of Indian origin.

"Hi, I'm Shreya. How're you feeling mummy?" asked the nurse, smiling.

"Ok. Tired, but ok."

"Good. Feel up to trying breast-feeding?"

Calista blushed at her no nonsense tone and threw a look at Angel and Spike. The two men took the hint and excused themselves. Buffy and Cordy decided to follow, so Calista would have enough privacy.

"Do you want me to leave Cal?" asked Connor. Calista shook her head, looking adamant. She didn't want to be left alone. "Ok."

"Well lets get started with one baby and then we can show you how to nurse the two at once. Of course, the miracle of a breast pump is that you can fill a bottle and let daddy feed one while you feed the other." said Shreya

Connor smiled at the idea as he took the boy away from Calista, so she was just holding the girl. Shreya helped her to sit right, and then explained to her what to do. Calista bit her lip in concentration as she tried to set the girl into the right position so she would take the breast. At first the girl refused to suckle, and then she seemed to have trouble latching on. Poor Calista was nearly ready to cry by the time the baby finally latched on and began to suck.

Shreya smiled, "See, once you've got it, it's so easy."

"It hurts a little." Calista said, looking torn between shock and annoyance.

"That'll pass after a few feedings. Then you'll forget all about it. Now, when this one has finished I'll show you how to burp a baby and then daddy can practise on the boy."

* * *

Angel peered in through the small window in the door, watching as his son rubbed the baby boy's back to bring up the wind. Unlike Calista, who'd struggled with it, and Angel himself, Connor seemed to have a knack for it. He was very gentle, but firm, with a skilled movement as he rubbed the little back.

"Can we go in yet?" whined Dawn, tugging on Angel's sleeve. The younger teen had arrived about fifteen minutes ago and had been badgering him to be let in.

"I think so. Let me check." said Angel in a firm tone. He knocked.

"Come in!" called Calista.

"Hey, we have a large crowd of people bearing gifts waiting out here. Think we can let them in?"

"Of course, sure." Calista fumbled with her clothes, making sure she had her top done up. Connor nodded and then laughed as the boy let out a little burp that made him jump and whimper. Connor rubbed his back again, this time to sooth him. He was a natural father. It made Angel proud.

What he felt next was a large crowd of people forcing him out of the way as they bustled into the room to see the babies, making his face smack into the door.

'

* * *

Calista stared down at the babies, sleeping in their little crib, enjoying the silence of the night. It had been ages before the others had left and Calista had been glad to see the back of them. The noise of their chatter had been driving her mad, never mind the constant question of 'what'll you call them?' that had been spoken a hundred times. It was enough to make her scream. She didn't know what she wanted to call them.

All the time she'd been pregnant she'd planned to call them names from prominent characters of the Bible, holy, good names. Like, Mary or Maria and Jacob or David. Now however, all she wanted to do with the 'Good Book' was rip it to pieces and throw it into a fire. She wanted to shatter a cross and knock over a damn statue of the Virgin Mary, the unattainable for all women. Being a wonderful mother, but never making love, to devote oneself to chastity, but to give your husband children all the same.

Running her fingers through her hair, Calista snarled to herself. She was tired, she was sore from the labour, and more than anything else, she was sick and tired of not matching peoples' expectations for her. She was supposed to be good, but was never good enough. She was supposed to be pure, but even as a virgin she'd been unclean. She was supposed to be powerful, but she felt powerless. She was supposed to be a wonderful and loving mother who could care for her children and all she wanted to do was run away from them.

Connor was amazing. He'd held the babies in his hands, studying them, smiling at them, the love in his eyes so clear. He'd changed their nappies, burped them, top and tailed them clean and changed them into their new blue and pink one-piece suits and wrapped them in white blankets before putting them into the crib to sleep. Meanwhile Calista had gotten frustrated and flustered and upset when the girl cried when she'd tried to burp her and had been sick all down her front.

The babies were beautiful, and they were perfect and wonderful miracles. Calista did love them. She would do whatever she could for them. But she couldn't ignore the desire to escape from them and the hotel and Connor.

Connor!

That kiss between them before she'd gone into labour (had caused her to go into labour?) had only confused her more. She had enjoyed the kiss, feeling Connor's hot mouth on hers, his arms holding her safe. But at the same time… she didn't know if she could bear it. There was just too much between them, too much pain. Every time Calista looked at Connor she thought about it and she didn't want to. She wanted to escape from Quor-Toth at long last, finally put it all behind her. But how could she just leave? She couldn't.

There was a knock at the door, an uncertain one.

"Come in." Calista called. The door opened slowly and Kevin's head appeared. Calista's stomach did a little flip of excitement at seeing him. "Kevin!"

"Hey Calista." Kevin smiled, "Can I come in?"

"Of course. Please."

Kevin's body followed his head and he held out a small bouquet of daffodils.

"I got you these… although upon seeing those huge ones by the bed I feel rather inadequate." Kevin eyed the three huge bouquets of flowers the gang had brought her.

"Don't. This is the best one I've gotten. I can't believe you remembered that I loved daffodils."

"They ain't in season so I wasn't able to get as many as I wanted to."

"They're beautiful Kevin. Thank you."

"No problem. Although I'm not sure what I'm saying. Congrats on the babies. I guess. Although kinda weird to give a woman flowers and teddies as if to say 'You suffered horrible pain and other things I'm not comfortable talking about so I'm gonna give you these flowers so you'll forget all about it and we don't need to think about it'. Seems kinda unfair to the woman."

Calista giggled and then sniffed the daffodils, inhaling the scent.

"I love them. Thank you. And yes, it is a bit odd when you think about it."

"Yeah. Oh… are these the kids? May I see?"

"Of course." Calista set the daffodils down and sat on the bed slowly, wincing as the stitches pulled. Kevin eyed her for a moment before looking at the babies.

"Ah… they're beautiful Calista. They truly are. Congratulations."

"On what? I did nothing but squeeze them out."

"Nah, you carried them for nine months."

"So does every mother in the world." Calista lay back, staring at the ceiling, feeling that same frustration as before. Kevin straightened up and sat on the edge of the bed, watching her.

"You ok?"

"Mmhm. I'm fine."

"Ok, now that we got the polite response, maybe you could tell me how you really feel."

Calista looked at him. Then she sighed.

"I'm tired. Really tired. And it's not that I'm tired from the birth… I'm tired of life. I really am."

"Why? You've got two beautiful kids, a large family, a boyfriend, you live in a snazzy hotel-"

"Because all the time… it's about what I have around me, not about me. It's about someone or something else."

"I don't understand."

"It's like… ok. Imagine you could save the world. You had the power to save the world from some sort of evil."

"Ok."

"Well then… it's not you that's important or needed, it's the power you carry. That's what makes you needed. Not you for you. Everyone follows you around, worries about you, keeps you safe. But in the back of your head, you wonder, is it because they care about me, or because I can do this thing? And the same with the babies. Do they care for me because I'm pregnant or because it's me? And now that I've had the babies… will I just be forgotten again until I'm needed to do something and if I don't do it will I get in trouble."

"Calista, you'd never be forgotten about. Granted, when there's new babies around they get all the attention, but that's the case for everyone. You have so much to offer people."

"What do I have to offer? I can't write, barely read, I don't know numbers, never mind the more complicated things. I can't fight, I can't do anything but be a mother to my babies and I don't think I can be just that." Calista had tears in her eyes.

Kevin reached out and pushed some hair out of her eyes. "Don't be so hard on yourself Calista. You have yourself to offer. You're kind, and you want to help people. You just need to find your feet, your life's been a huge upheaval after another that, to be honest, I don't completely understand. Trust me, once things settle down, you'll find your place. You just need to hang on for a while. Ok? And if you still can't find your place, I'll hire you as a model for my photos. You'd be great at that. That's how I knew you were here by the way. I called today to say the photos would be done next week and Cordelia told me that you were here and that I should pop in."

"I'm glad you did."

Calista stared at Kevin, taking in his handsome face, particularly his lips, which were red, full and inviting. Kevin stared back, leaning closer, almost unconsciously. Calista swallowed hard, her stomach tying itself in knots again.

Kevin's mouth was hot against hers, and his hands were gentle on her face, yielding, treating her like a fragile treasure that needed to be handled with care. Calista felt inexperienced as he teased her tongue with his, one hand travelling down her neck. Connor had almost always been in a rush.

_Connor! _

Calista pulled away with a frightened whimper, feeling sick. Kevin stared at her as if captivated.

Calista looked down at her lap, surprised to see her hands were shaking.

"I'm sorry Kevin… I didn't mean… I just, I-"

Kevin kissed her again, more hungry this time, more demanding. Calista moaned a little, not wanting him to stop. Kevin wasn't demanding that she give him what he wanted. He was pleading to be allowed to be with her. Without thinking she put an arm around his neck.

Connor would know if they didn't stop soon. He'd smell Kevin on Calista and know. And it would hurt him. Hurt him like he'd hurt her. There was something nice about that idea.

But it hadn't been his fault. He'd been tricked, seduced, been put under magic before he betrayed her. If Calista let this happen, she'd be knowingly hurting him. And then things between them would be irreparable.

Calista pulled away, trying to tell Kevin they had to stop, but Kevin started kissing down her neck, swirling his tongue on her skin, something she loved. Calista tugged at his hair, feeling dizzy. She wanted this. She really did.

Then Daniel's face flashed through her mind and she let out a cry of horror, shoving Kevin away.

"Oh God! What have I done?" Calista began to cry in despair. "I really am a whore!"

"What? No! You're not Calista. Wanting someone doesn't make you a whore."

"I just had Connor's children, and I'm kissing you! What does that make me?"

"A confused woman who hasn't been allowed to have her own opinion once in her life it sounds like." said Kevin, sounding firm and annoyed, although not at her. "Why do you have to feel guilty? Are you with Connor?"

"No… yes… I don't know! It's all so confusing and I know it's all just me. Connor loves me, he'd do anything for me. It's me who's making a mess of everything."

Kevin looked regretful. "I'm sorry I kissed you Calista. Well actually that's a lie. I'm not sorry I kissed you, but I am sorry that I've upset you so much."

"Oh Kevin… you have no idea how much I want you right now. Connor and I… we have such a horrendous past and you… you've been nothing but kind and good to me. Oh I don't know what to do. Connor thinks we're going to be together and he'll wait no matter how long. How can I ignore that?"

"You don't. But that doesn't mean you have to be with him either. It's your choice. It's about what you want."

"Kevin will you please go? I need to be alone."

"Sure."

"Please don't hate me for this. I don't want to lose your friendship."

"You won't." Kevin leaned in and kissed her forehead, "Call me whenever you want."

"Thank you."

Kevin left and Calista lay on her side, curling up and crying herself to sleep.

* * *

"Hey! You! Photographer."

Kevin paused and looked behind him. A tall, pale man, with peroxide spikes swaggered up to him. Literally. The man walked with a swagger that invariably drew your eyes downwards to watch his hips, whether you swung that way or not. The trench coat enhanced this.

"Yes? Can I help you?"

"I saw you in there. With Calista." Kevin was surprised by his accent. It wasn't the refined accent of Mr. Giles and Mr. Wyndam-Price, it was a cockney accent of a lower class man. And Kevin knew this man was probably a member of that odd group Calista had been with when Kevin had taken her picture.

"And you are?"

"I'm a friend of hers."

"Are you gonna tell me to stay away from her? Because I'm afraid I'll have to say no. Unless Calista tells me to then-"

"Actually, I was gonna say, I want you to keep seeing her. See, I don't think she should have to be with the mini-pouf-"

"Connor?"

"Yeah- just because she feels she ought to be since she just had his kids. Just because you knock up a chick doesn't mean she has to be with you. The mini-pouf says he loves her, but I don't think he's good enough for her. You however, I already like. And if Calista likes you, you must be decent, so I'm sayin' keep seein' her. Take her out, even if it's just as a 'friend'." He used air quotes as he said this. "Show her the city, help her have fun. She's been through hell and back and the people in the hotel, meself included, have got too much baggage to help her. She doesn't know anythin' about the world or the way of it. You can teach her since you're normal. She needs normal."

"Not that I'm not interested in doing as you say, might I ask why you don't particularly like Connor?"

"Well for starters he's the son of Peaches, and secondly, I don't trust him not to hurt her again."

"He hurt her?"

"Yeah. Badly. She's still nursing that hurt I'd say. So I want you to be her friend. And if it turns into something more, so be it."

"Well… I have to say I was going to do that already, and that now that you've spoken to me I feel a forebodin' about doing it, but I would do it anyway."

"Splendid, now off ya trot, back to your pictures and lenses and whatnot."

"Erm… right." Kevin walked away, frowning in confusion. Why did he get the feeling he'd bitten off far more than he could chew?

* * *

Yup, like I said above THINK AGAIN! And we STILL have the First to deal with!

Night's Darkness


	26. Bitter smile

Wow, I think a few people are really mad at Calista now. Well, prepare to continue feeling annoyed at her. Lol.

Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 26**

"This is only temporary of course. I was thinking we could get a Moses basket for each of them for the first while, 'cause it's so much… well… cuter than the crib, plus they'll fit better in the room you guys have now than two cribs." said Angel as he and Connor put together Connor's old crib.

"Well we're certainly doing better than Connor's first crib." said Cordy as she and Buffy watched.

"I thought that was Connor's first crib." said Buffy, frowning in confusion.

"No, Connor's first crib was a drawer." said Cordy matter of factly.

"Oh."

"I fit in a drawer?" asked Connor, looking perturbed.

"You weren't much bigger than the twins when you were born sweetie."

"Ok… fair enough. But…"

"What?"

"You didn't close the drawer did you?"

"No!" exclaimed Angel, sounding insulted and alarmed all at once.

"Sorry." Connor shrugged, widening his eyes. "But according to Wesley you couldn't even change my nappy properly even with two hundred years of experience behind you."

"Hey! For the record, the last time I changed a diaper before you were born was two hundred years ago and they were done rather differently back then. We didn't have sticky bits."

"And you thought that newborn Connor would take the bottle from you and drink from it like a two year old." reminded Cordy, smiling. Angel grimaced. That had been hard to live down.

"Ok, even I knew better than that dad." said Connor, staring at his dad incredulously.

"Want to know the creepy thing?" asked Cordy, an evil grin on her face.

"What?"

"He spent about ten minutes trying to show you how to use the bottle, first by demonstrating with your teddy, and then pretending to drink himself, all the way saying, 'This is how you drink from your Ba-ba'."

"Ba-ba?" asked Buffy looking wigged and amused. "Angel said Ba-ba?"

"Many, many, _many_ times. It was funny, but also cute because he refused to let anyone else hold Connor for ages, he was so paranoid about someone trying to take him from him. I didn't get my first cuddle until he was a day old. And now look at him. Now he's a hormone raging, Destruction sensing, hair-gel free version of Angel." Cordy gestured at the two men sitting on the ground while they tried to put the crib together from Angel's memory and having very little actual success.

"Hey! I'm not like dad." said Connor, narrowing his eyes. "I'm much cooler."

"So aren't Connor, I'm way cooler than you." said Angel, kidding.

"Oh yeah right dad."

"Boys! That crib won't build itself." said Buffy, smiling. Both Angel and Connor muttered 'sorry' before returning to the crib.

"Anyway, what were we saying before Cordy decided to embarrass me?"

"We were making plans for the babies' nursery."

"Oh yeah, I was thinking. Why don't we convert one of the rooms into an apartment for you two? With a kitchen, fancy bathroom, bedroom for you and Calista, and a nursery for the babies and when they get older we can expand into the next room."

"Would all that fit in one of the rooms in the hotel?" asked Connor,

"Well all we have to do is knock down a few walls and rebuild… I think. Construction's not my thing."

"Destruction's mine." said Connor sagely. Angel rolled his eyes at the joke.

"Xander's in the construction business. I bet if you gave him the location, what you wanted done and the money he'd get it done with little hassle." said Buffy.

"Oh, really? Well… good to see he made something of himself besides bait for you guys to lure giant praying mantis." said Cordy smirking.

"Giant praying mantis?" asked Connor looking concerned.

"Oh don't worry sweetie, she went after virgins."

"Oh. Ok then." Connor went back to the crib. "Dad I think we should look for those instructions again."

"I'll go look. You stay here." sighed Angel, getting to his feet.

"So Connor… Calista comes home tomorrow, excited?"

"Absolutely. I can't wait!" Connor grinned at the two women like a kid in a candy store. Buffy smiled at him.

"I'm glad you guys are working things out."

"Well… to be honest I've no idea what we're sorting out. I mean… just before she went into labour, we shared a kiss… but we haven't talked about it yet."

"Well… once her hormones settle down you two can talk rationally. Or as rationally as two teens actually can talk."

"Yeah. I guess. Too bad we can't… you know. I know Calista doesn't want to get pregnant again… especially not so soon." Connor was muttering by the time he was finished, looking embarrassed. Both Buffy and Cordy were wide eyed.

"Um… Connor, did no one ever tell you that there are ways to prevent pregnancy?"

"There are?"

"That's a no then. Yeah, there's several ways."

"I didn't know that."

"Well Holtz wouldn't exactly know Safe Sex 101." muttered Cordy. Connor winced. "Well… I'm sure Angel will expl… no, Angel would be useless. Gunn! Or Wesley, they would tell you."

"Erm…" Connor was blushing pink. He never went red, just a delicate pink. It was cute.

"We'll talk about this later. Wait, do you even really get how pregnancy happens?"

"Well… like, how? As in what I have to do?"

"No, I'm sure you know that but the science behind it."

"There's science involved now? Isn't that all those numbers and letters Fred likes?"

"Oh wow… ok. We'll sort that out soon. You just go back to trying to build that crib."

"Trying is the operative word here I think."

Lucky for them, Angel was able to find the instructions and they set to work again building the crib. Angel worried about leaving Calista alone with just Spike guarding her.

"What if this all turns into another thing like when Connor was born with vampire cults trying to worship the babies and other demons wanting to read their glorious future in their entrails?" he said, starting to sound panicky.

"Spike will get them out of the hospital and he'll call us if anything happens. Don't worry. He might be willing to leave you out in the sun, but he cares about Calista and the babies."

"They are technically his cousins." agreed Connor, sounding disturbed as he said it. Angel grimaced.

"Let's try to tone that fact down please."

"Ok." Connor stood up then wavered on his feet. "Woah." he groaned. Cordy grabbed his shoulder to steady him. "That was weird." he said, rubbing his brow.

"What's wrong?"

"I just got a weird feeling. Like a wave of… something hitting me."

"A wave of what?"

"I'm not sure… but it felt… powerful."

"The First?" asked Buffy, sounding grim.

"No. Not the First. That's just darkness and devastation in the most evil sense. This is like… a promise. A promise for destruction, but it's an offering to someone. Offering them a promise." Connor shook his head. "Sorry, I know that doesn't make much sense."

"It's ok. Maybe when I get my link to the Powers back and they send me visions again I'll get a better idea of what you're talking about."

"Yeah… maybe."

* * *

"Ready to go luv?"

Calista looked up to see Spike smiling at her. She nodded smiling back, although hers was forced.

"Yes, just about." She folded her nightgown and put it in the bag. She'd changed into jeans and a loose grey maternity top that just fell around like that was the style. She'd brushed her hair out and washed her face, so she felt better. Walking was easier now too. But she almost wished she could stay in the hospital a little longer. She didn't want to go back to the hotel.

"Good, 'cause the mini-pouf and Gunn will be here any minute."

"Thank you Spike."

"You ok luv?"

"Yes, I'm fine." Calista forced another smile. Spike looked at her like he didn't believe her. "Really, I am. I'm just tired."

"Ok luv, whatever you say." Spike left the room and Calista's smile fell. She pinched the bridge of her nose, silently cursing herself for being so difficult. Why did she have to keep making a mess of things?

"Some angel I am." she sneered to the babies, who were both wrapped up tight in three layers of blankets to keep them warm in the October weather. "I can't even give the people around me peace."

There was a knock on the door. "Come in!"

Shreya entered, smiling as always. "Hey, how are we today?"

"Oh. We're, we're good. Really!" Calista forced another bright smile onto her face. Shreya gave her a look over, just as dubious as Spike.

"You know, no one would think any less of you if you weren't deliriously happy right now. From what I hear you've been through a lot, it's ok to be having trouble enjoying the arrival of your babies. Teens especially. With all the social stigma about it, they struggle to enjoy what they've achieved."

Calista's smile fell a little and she looked away. "I don't want to talk about it thank you."

"Ok, but don't keep it bottled up. It's not healthy for you."

Calista snorted, "Neither is being beaten for being pregnant, but that happened."

Shreya's eyes widened in surprise and horror. "Oh."

"Forget it. It's done." said Calista, grabbing the teddy bear in the crib and stuffing it into her bag with more force than was necessary.

"Was it Con-"

"No!" snapped Calista, "It was… it was the man who raised me. That's all you need to know about it. Now if you don't mind… I'd like one moment of peace before we go home."

"Of course. It was nice to meet you Calista Holtz."

Calista flinched as Shreya left. She would have to change her name. No, she needed to _get _a last name. Holtz was only down because the others hadn't been able to think of anything else at the time.

About two minutes after Shreya left, Connor came in, a huge smile on his face. Calista tried to match it.

"Hi!" he said, walking over and kissing her cheek. Calista pulled away before she could stop herself. Connor's smile faltered for a moment, before setting back in place and he said, "Ready to go?"

"Yeah. Bag packed and babies wrapped."

"Ok, let's go home."

Home? The hotel didn't really feel like home. More a place to be, to stay around the people who could understand and talk about the freaks of the world. Just like her and Connor.

"Ok."

* * *

Connor smiled down at his son as he sat in the back of the car with Calista. She had their daughter in her arms, but she was staring out the window. Connor wondered if he should ask her if she felt what he had last night, but reasoned that this was not the time.

Connor didn't need super senses to know something wasn't right with Calista. The dark, gloomy look in her eyes worried him. Why wasn't she happy that the babies were finally here? Why wasn't she excited? Connor didn't understand it.

Their daughter whimpered and let out a warning cry. Calista jiggled her automatically, barely sparing her a glance. It worked and the baby fell quiet. Connor shared a look with Cordy, who was in the passenger seat. She looked concerned.

"Has nursing gotten easier Calista?" Cordy asked, trying to break the strained silence in the car. Gunn, driving, looked relieved someone had spoken.

"It doesn't hurt so much anymore I guess." said Calista, her voice lacking emotion.

"That's always a good thing." smiled Cordy, "Still no ideas for names?"

"No. I haven't thought of any."

"Connor?"

"A few ideas, but nothing solid. I was wondering if I could use the computer to look more up?"

"Good idea. Just promise me you won't call the girl one of Angel's names."

"Which one?"

"Faoiltiarna."

"What? He's not serious!"

"I think he is a little. But it might be nice to call one of the babies by an Irish name. You know, since Angel's Irish."

"What about Aisling? That's Irish, I remember reading it somewhere." said Connor, looking at Calista. Calista shrugged, not looking away from the window.

"I don't know."

Connor sighed and threw Cordelia a helpless look. She looked the same as he felt. But Cordy seemed to understand things better than he did. Maybe this was a girl thing. Then again, maybe it was just because she understood this world and people better than he did.

"Ladies, and junior, we've arrived at our destination." said Gunn, smiling at them from the mirror. Calista just opened the door and slid out, the baby in her arms secure. Connor didn't find this fact a comfort as he got out too. Calista led them into the hotel, looking like she had somewhere to be. Bed, probably.

"SURPRISE!" cheered everyone the second they stepped into the lobby. Spike, who'd beaten them to the hotel through the sewers, rolled his eyes at them all. Calista blinked.

The lobby had been hurriedly decorated with blue and pink streamers, with two beautiful reed bassinettes to one side, each with a blue or pink bow on it. A large chocolate cake was set with pride on the lobby desk.

The Scoobies, the A.I's and the Potentials were all there, all beaming with toothy grins, party hats on many, or streamers in their hair. Angel stepped forward.

"Welcome home guys. I know it's not much of a party but-"

"No. No it, it's just right." said Calista, sounding choked. Angel grinned, thinking this meant she was choked with happiness. Connor looked around with a grin.

"I smell cake!" he said with a cheer, then he looked down at his son. "Sorry son, you can't have any, but as soon as you're able, I'll sneak you some."

"And make him obese. I think not buster. No, this child will have a healthy diet thank you. We can't all have your metabolism, even with your genes." said Cordy, plucking the baby out of Connor's arms and walking over to the bassinettes. She lay the baby in the one with the blue bow, and, after making sure he was ok, she straightened the bow. "Calista, why don't you put the baby in her bassinette for a while."

Calista nodded and walked over, laying the girl down as quick as she could without looking strange, or hurting, or frightening, the baby. Still, Cordy's eyes were probing her when she looked up and Calista had to look away.

Almost at once everyone, eager to see the babies, surrounded the bassinettes. Molly elbowed Calista out of the way, by accident most likely, but Calista still narrowed her eyes in annoyance. Turning away from the 'cooes' and 'awws' coming from the group she walked over to the lobby desk and eyed the cake. It was chocolate, with chocolate frosting, with a little male stick figure done in blue icing, holding the hand of a female stick figure done with pink. It was very pretty. Andrew had obviously put a lot of work into it.

Calista picked up the knife and cut a slice out, separating the two stick figures, then went and sat down on the steps, eating away, while everyone else admired the babies. Angel had an arm around Connor and was saying how proud he was of him. Calista felt annoyed. What had Connor done besides enjoy himself while making the babies? She'd been the one to carry them, nourish them, give birth to them. No one was saying anything to her.

"Ok, ok, we've all seen the adorable babies." said Andrew, ignoring the fact that he'd been the one cooing the loudest, "Now let's eat cake!"

"Yes! Lets!" agreed Anya, following him. Andrew looked down at the cake and let out a shriek of horror. "What's wrong chew-bacca?"

"Someone took a huge slice out of my precious cake before everyone got to see it." Andrew wailed, sounding like the world had ended. Calista rolled her eyes. "Who did this? Xander was it you?"

"Hell no. I wouldn't dare, not with the threat of being shrieked to death hanging over my head." said Xander, rolling his eyes, glancing at Willow, who gave him a sympathetic look.

"Well someone did and I want to know who!" Andrew had his hands on his hips, eyes narrowed in an attempt at looking scary. He just looked sulky.

"Me." said Calista, standing up. "Got something to say to me Andrew?"

Andrew looked at Calista and quailed under the dark look in her eyes. "Um… no… never mind." He scurried away into the kitchen, mutter about 'all his hard work for nothing'. Calista walked back to the lobby desk and took up the knife again. She cut the whole cake into even slices with such a speed it was almost a blur. Connor gulped and walked over to her and put his arms around her, subtly taking the knife out of her hand as he held her, trying to offer her comfort for whatever was bugging her. Calista pulled away and sat down again. Connor sighed.

After an awkward moment, the others began to eat the cake, letting out noises of appreciation.

"Mmm, Andrew may be an annoying dork, but he makes a mean chocolate cake." said Kennedy, stuffing her face. Willow grimaced just a little at her.

Connor took his slice and sat by Calista, who tensed as he did.

"Want some more?"

"I've had enough." Calista didn't look at him, staring at the ceiling.

"So Calista, I bet you're glad to see your toes again." joked Xander as he walked over.

Calista shrugged, "I guess. Nice not to feel like someone's trying to kick my spine out of my back, or like I weigh as much as a big car, or having to see my fat self in the mirror."

"You weren't fat Cal." said Connor, sounding irritated. Calista shrugged again and propped her chin in her hand. Her mind wandered, and soon she was thinking about Kevin. How she wanted him to be here. Then this would be bearable. But all she had was a bunch of people she wasn't sure really cared about her.

"Are you tired Calista? You look tired. Why don't you go and get some sleep? We'll get you when the babies feeding comes up." said Angel, smiling at her, although his eyes were questioning her. Calista nodded,

"I think I will. I am tired and-"

The babies began to cry. Loudly. Calista closed her eyes and sighed, before walking over to them. "Looks like feeding time is now. I'll bring them upstairs and feed them."

"You could just feed them here. My aunt never minded nursing her kids in front of others." said Amanda.

"Well I'm not your aunt!" snapped Calista, wrapping her arms across her chest in a defensive manner. Amanda recoiled. She already missed that quiet, gentler girl that had been around in the beginning, even though she'd said very little to her.

"She's just saying it. God! No need to get all defensive on her." said Kennedy, narrowing her eyes.

"I'm not defensive! I'm saying something back." Calista's eyes flashed, and the babies' cries increased in pitch. Angel stepped in,

"Look, we'll bring the babies up so you can feed them, and then we'll bring them downstairs so you can sleep some more."

"Fine. Whatever." Calista stalked up the stairs.

Lorne pulled off his party hat. "I'm suddenly not feeling so jolly."

"Me either." sighed Fred.

"Come on. Lets get these babies fed."

Angel, Spike, Connor and Gunn carried the bassinettes upstairs between them and brought them into the room. Calista was sitting on the bed, staring at the wall, her jaw tense. Connor picked up the baby boy and placed him in Calista's arms. Spike, Angel and Gunn left. Calista undid her top's buttons and began to nurse the baby, while Connor rocked the baby girl, trying to keep her quiet until she was fed.

Connor couldn't ignore the fact that Calista didn't even look at the baby as he nursed and barely glanced at his sister when they swapped the babies. Connor burped the boy, and smiled as the baby rested his tiny head on Connor's bony shoulder.

"I was thinking." Connor said, looking at Calista. Calista looked up at him. "What if we gave the babies two names each. That way it won't be so hard to decide."

"Maybe." Calista winced, looking down at the suckling baby, "She's hurting me!"

"She's just hungry Cal, she's not trying to hurt you."

"I know that! Doesn't take away from the fact that it hurts!"

"I know… but don't be angry with the baby." Connor felt so helpless. He felt like he no longer knew Calista anymore.

"I'm not angry with her. I'm just angry." sighed Calista.

"At what?"

"At nothing. At everything. I don't know! I'm just angry. Why do I need a reason?"

Connor looked away from Calista, unable to meet her eyes anymore. Calista sniffed, sounding tearful, but her eyes were dry.

"She's finished." said Connor after a few minutes, nodding at the baby. Calista looked down and saw he was right. The baby had finished nursing. Calista sat the baby up, supporting her head and rubbing her back. The baby burped and then threw up a little, over Calista's hand. Calista's face screwed up like she was fighting the urge to scream. Connor quickly got some tissue and wiped it all up.

"Just a little accident. No harm done." he said, feeling like an idiot. Calista's eyes were hard and jealous as she looked at him. Connor felt like he'd been dropped in a pool of cold water. He put the babies, now sleeping, in the bassinettes and sat beside Calista, taking her hands in his. Calista didn't look at him.

"Cal? Calista, look at me, please."

Calista looked at him. Connor held her hands tighter. "What's wrong?"

Calista's face crumpled, and she burst into tears. Connor put his arms around her and he held her close, tucking her head under his chin, rocking her. She was so small in his arms again, she almost felt lost. Maybe that was because she was.

* * *

More very soon if I get lots of reviews! ;-)

Night's Darkness


	27. Downhill

Sorry about the wait folks, but various issues with internet and Word. Things are better now.

Radwa I'm afraid you'll have to keep being annoyed at Calista for a while, and ka-mia2286 I'm afraid you'll have to sympathise with her for a while more too. lol

Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 27**

Cordelia had been talking with Buffy and Willow, catching up on all the Sunnydale gossip, which she hadn't had a chance to do yet, when the vision hit her. It wasn't painful, the visions had stopped being painful once she'd become part demon, but it still shook her up as one second she was talking to the other two about Harmony, the next she was in a cave, hands that weren't hers rummaging through the dirt, searching for something. The next second it was all over.

"Cordy?" Buffy looked at her with concern.

"I just had a vision." said Cordy.

"All right! 'bout time things got back to normal." cheered Gunn, having overheard that part.

"It's disturbing that you think Cordelia Chase having visions is normal." said Xander, joining them

"What was it of Cordy?" asked Angel, touching her shoulder. Buffy's nose wrinkled in jealousy, even though there was no need.

"Just someone looking for something in a really dirty cave." Cordy glanced at her hands. Pristine as always, no sign of the scrimmaging she had seen.

"That's it?"

"Can you try to go back into it?" asked Wesley, also joining them.

"I can try." Cordy closed her eyes and focused on the vision, willing it to come back to her. Everyone watched her with anticipation. Cordy opened her eyes. "I got nothing."

"Nothing at all?"

"A big fat lotta nothing."

"Maybe your link to the Powers isn't back to normal yet. That might have only been part of the vision." suggested Willow.

"Maybe." Cordy felt annoyed. She'd gotten everyone excited, only to disappoint.

"What's going on?" asked Connor as he and Calista came down the stairs, a baby each.

The babies were five days old now and still had no names. Calista's mood had not improved and she didn't talk to anyone, giving mono-syllable words for answers any time she was addressed. The only time she had anything to do with the babies was when she was feeding them. Connor did everything else. Connor looked exhausted, but he was trying to stay cheerful. It wasn't working to hide the dysfunction going on.

"Nothing. We thought it was something, but it turned out to be nothing." sighed Buffy, regarding the four with worry.

"Oh." Connor looked disappointed. Calista set the boy in the carrier they'd bought with the bassinettes and walked out into the garden. In her hand was a Bible. No one knew what she did with it, since she couldn't read it very well, but they weren't going to ask, since they wouldn't get an answer from her.

Connor set the girl in the other carrier and then went into the kitchen to get some food. The next they heard was a crash, like glass had smashed. Angel, Cordy and Buffy were the first inside.

A milk bottle had fallen on the ground, the white liquid spreading outwards among the pieces of glass. Connor was crouched on the ground, gripping his head, breathing hard.

"Connor? Sweetie, are you ok?" Cordy walked over to him and put her hand on his arm. Connor looked up, his expression dazed. "What happened?"

"I don't know. I just felt really strange. Like the night after the babies were born. I felt that promise again."

"Promise?"

"Of Destruction. Only it was stronger this time. Like it was getting closer."

"Is it a good thing, or a bad thing?"

"Neither. Whoever gets it can use it."

"What is it? I mean, is it a weapon? A spell? What?"

"I think… I think it's a weapon, but I'm not sure."

"Do you think Calista can sense it too?"

"No, I doubt it. This feels like total destruction. She can't feel it unless it's in relation to creation. There is no creation with this."

"Sounds… creepy." said Dawn.

"But promising!" exclaimed Angel, wanting to cheer Connor up, "I mean, total destruction, I mean… that could really help us against the First."

"Yeah… maybe." Connor looked at the spilt milk. "Sorry. I'll clean that up."

"Nuh-uh buster! You are going to grab a book, or a game-boy or whatever you like so long as it's relaxing and do just that! Relax. You've been on the go for five days. Time to take a break." said Cordy, shaking her head.

"But-"

"No ifs ands or buts. Take a break. The babies are asleep, you should do the same, or whatever will chill you out the most."

"… could I go-"

"Aside from killing things."

Connor pouted. "I guess I'll go read. I don't know where my game-boy is."

"Oh… um… I smashed it up." said Fred, looking very embarrassed.

"Oh. Was that back when…?"

"When I was mad at you and wanted to taser you a lot? Pretty much."

"Do we even wanna know?" asked Xander.

"No." said the entire L.A. group. Connor heaved himself to his feet and walked out into the garden. Calista didn't look up from the Bible, holding it in her two hands, open, resting her elbows on her legs and leaning forwards. Her hair was caught up in a ponytail, and her brow was drawn into a frown.

"What are you reading?" Connor asked, approaching her like he was afraid she would bolt.

"Genesis. At least, I think I am. It's like a combo of reading and recalling it from memory. For all I know I'm looking at the completely wrong line."

"Where are you at?"

"I'm going over the part about Adam and Eve, and their sons and… just starting from the beginning really." Calista shrugged, not looking up. Connor sat beside her on the bench and looked over her shoulder. He grimaced as he saw she wasn't even on the right page. She was on the page about Jacob, his sons, and the rape of Dinah.

"Um… Cal. Where are you exactly?"

"I'm not on the right page, am I?"

"No, you're not. Sorry."

Calista sighed and then shifted the book's weight to one hand. With her free hand she reached out and took hold of the page. Then, with an eerie calmness and slow movement, she ripped the page out of the book. Then, when it tugged free, she crumpled it up and threw it away. Connor's huge eyes followed the paper ball's journey through the air and then stared at it when it landed. Then another joined it, and another, and another. Calista was systematically pulling out every single page out of the Holy Bible.

Connor didn't think, he just acted. His hands snapped out and he grabbed the book, ripping it out of Calista's hands and holding it away from her. Calista's head snapped up and she lunged at him, reaching for the book with a snarl. Connor held her off with one arm, keeping the Bible out of her reach.

"Give it to me Connor!" Calista hissed. Connor pushed her away and stood up. Calista jumped to her feet, more active now than in the last five days.

"What are you doing?"

"What does it look like I'm doing? I'm doing what I should have done years ago. I don't care anymore Connor! I just don't! I'm going to rip that book up and burn it! I don't care if Satan himself shows up, I'm going to do it."

"Calista no! You can't."

"Why not? That book has been held over my head all my life! I want to get rid of it."

"It won't get the words out of your head."

"How do you know?"

"Because I already did this. It didn't help."

Calista froze, staring at Connor with shock. "You burned the Bible?"

"Yeah. I was cold, and it was the only thing around that would give a good fire, because of the paper it uses. Nothing happened except I got a little warmer. It didn't stop me from remembering the words, or hearing his voice in my head. It won't help you any more than it did me."

"I need to do this Connor. I need to get rid of it."

"You can't. This book is the most published book in the world. It's everywhere. We can't escape from it. Not like that."

"I can't take it anymore. I can't take reading its teachings, hearing how God will punish me for being vain, for being sinful, for being me."

"So stop."

"I can't! It's all in my head and I can't forget it. I don't know how!"

"You don't need to forget it, but that doesn't mean you need to obey it. It should be a choice, that much I've learned in this world. Here people choose their religion, their faith." Connor tossed the book aside. Calista watched it fall. "Cal, you were an angel. Why would you need to look at a book, or go to a building to find God?"

"I don't remember being one. I don't remember it at all." Calista shook her head, sagging onto the bench. "I'm tired. I'm just so tired."

"I know." Connor sat beside her and put an arm around her shoulders, holding her close. Calista sighed and rested her head on Connor's shoulder. Connor inhaled her scent, and his free hand found one of hers and held it tight. "Cal? Have you been feeling anything?"

"No."

"I mean, anything unusual, like a pulse or a feeling that something's coming?"

"No. I haven't felt anything since the babies were born."

Connor missed the underlying meaning of the words. "Ok, it's just… I've been feeling destruction. I didn't think you'd feel anything though, because I don't sense anything that would promise creation."

"Hmm."

Connor sighed. "Cal… I wish you would tell me what's going on in your head."

"I can't even explain it to myself."

"I love you Cal, you know that, right?"

"Yes. I know."

Connor felt sad that she didn't say it back. Calista pulled away and stood up. "I think I'll go for a walk."

"Do you want me to come with you?"

"No. I just want to go by myself. Is that all right?"

"Yeah, of course."

"Good. I'll see you later then."

"Bye."

"Goodbye."

* * *

Dawn watched Calista leave, feeling annoyed at the other teen. She knew Calista had been through a lot but the way she was acting was hurting Connor and the babies.

"What's wrong Dawnie?"

"Oh, nothing, never mind." Dawn shook her head, looking at Buffy. "Buffy, when are we going back to Sunnydale?"

"Honestly? I don't want to go back. It's nice here, the Potentials are doing well, we've got Angel's team to help us and… if we go back to Sunnydale we may never leave."

Dawn knew what Buffy meant. "You don't want to leave Angel."

"He wants to come with me, but that is so not happening. I need him here, not with me. if I go down, there has to be a second front."

"Since when do you tell me this sort of stuff?"

"Since you proved to me that you're not a kid anymore. Letting Willow drain you took guts. I'm proud of you Dawn."

Dawn smiled and hugged her sister. "Thanks. I'm proud of me too."

"Don't get cocky." warned Buffy.

"I think it's a little late." Dawn grinned. Buffy rolled her eyes. "Besides, cockiness runs in the family."

"Hey!" Buffy poked her in the side, making her giggle. "So… do you wanna do something today?"

"Like what?"

"I don't know… shopping?"

"Shopping with my older sister? That's really not cool anymore."

Buffy deflated, "Oh. Am I that old?"

"Oh Buffy I'm totally messing with you. Sure, let's go shopping."

"Great!"

"We can pick out a really nice outfit for your date with Angel tonight."

"How'd you know about that?"

"I'm your sister. Plus Cordy overheard you and told me."

"Still as big a gossiper as ever our Cordy." sighed Buffy, shaking her head.

"Yup."

"Will we go now?"

"Sure." Dawn didn't ask if Buffy wanted anyone else to accompany her, she wanted her sister to herself for the first time in ages. "Just let me get my runners."

"Ok."

* * *

Angel was busy, sketching as usual, when Spike came up to him and sat down in the chair next to his.

"What do you want?"

"Nothing. Just felt like sittin'."

"Beside me? I doubt it."

"I do what I like."

Angel rolled his eyes and didn't pause in his drawing.

"You're a pillock, you know that." said Spike after a minute of silence.

"You're a moron."

"Don't know what she sees in you."

"That's why you could never have her, because you can't understand what we have."

"Oh, don't give me that bollocks!"

"Don't curse in front of the babies." said Angel, not looking up.

"They're asleep!" exclaimed Spike, gesturing at them, nestled in their carry-cots, almost hidden among the clothes and blankets they were surrounded by.

"Babies are very receptive at this stage of their lives. So don't curse."

"Whatever. Anyway, as I was saying, don't give me that load about how special and unique your love with the Slayer is. It's nothing more than the millions of others who've gotten lucky."

"You're wrong."

"God you are such an idiot! It isn't! Just because you've had magic and demons and whatever to prove that your relationship is strong and oh-so-important, doesn't mean all those other couples wouldn't do the same, it's just that they've never had to."

Angel looked up at last and glared at Spike, "If you're just gonna whine go do it somewhere else. I don't care."

"Whatever. But don't expect Slayer to say yes when you pop the question tonight."

Angel froze, save his eyes, which widened to an alarming size. "How did you know-"

Spike held up a hand, within which was a small, velvet box. He opened it, revealing the diamond-topaz topped silver band.

"You need to hide things better."

"Gimme that!" Angel dropped the pad and lunged for Spike who jumped to his feet and dodged Angel. Spike smirked,

"Not so high and mighty now, are ya, ya ponce!"

"What is this Spike? Some sort of sad attempt to try and get Buffy to want to be with you instead of me? 'cause let me tell you, it's not happening. Get over it. She chose me!"

"And what will she get out of it? A life of worrying over the possibility that if she gets too close you'll get just a little bit too happy and suddenly it's Angelus versus Slayer round 2." Spike snapped the box shut, and pointed at Angel, "You really want to give her that kind of life? You willin' to put those two in such a danger." He nodded at the babies. The girl yawned, her little tongue poking out for a moment, before she settled down again.

Angel stared at his grandchildren. "No. I don't want to put them in danger."

"Face it peaches. So long as that soul of yours holds a conditional contract, you can't risk it. Buffy can't risk it. So don't you dare make this any harder for her."

Spike threw the box at Angel's chest, where it bounced off and landed on the ground, sliding across the floor until a booted foot halted its path. Connor looked from one vampire to the other and then picked the box up. He opened it, his eyes examining the ring within. Angel realised only then that Connor's eyes were almost an exact shade of topaz.

"Nice." said Connor, snapping the box shut and throwing it to Angel, who caught it this time.

"How much did you hear?"

"Every word." Connor cocked his head to the side, "You know… I'm not gonna pretend to understand how the whole soul deal works but… if Spike's soul is permanent, and yours isn't… why don't you try to get it made permanent. I mean… if Spike could do it… then it's possible, right?"

Angel and Spike stared at Connor speechless. The calm logic in his words was staggering. Angel mentally hit himself. How the hell had he never considered having his soul made permanent?

Connor continued, "If the fact that you can lose your soul by being with Buffy is what keeps you apart… then why don't you just make it so you can't lose it?"

"Because I never thought it was possible. I was cursed with my soul."

"Was Spike?"

"No! Spike wasn't! I went and endured a load of bloody trials, had scorpions crawling in me mouth and after three weeks of enduring this I was plus one ruddy soul for all the good it did." snarled Spike, infuriated at being talked about like he wasn't standing there.

"So… there is a way to make the soul permanent? Why don't you ask Willow?"

"Good idea… Connor, you're a genius!" Angel clapped Connor on his shoulder and then hurried away to find the redhead.

Connor watched his dad leave, looking bewildered, then he turned to Spike who looked murderous. "Can I ask you something?"

"No, you bloody well can't!" snapped Spike.

"Shh!" Connor hissed, glancing at the babies. They hadn't stirred. "I want to ask you about Calista. What can I do to make things right with her?"

"Don't know. Don't really care neither. 's far as I'm concerned you don't deserve her, not after what you did."

"With the Power? 'Cause in case you weren't listening the Power-"

"Made you forget, yeah I know. But if you really loved her, you'd never have forgotten her, not completely. And what about that other woman you made out with? You hadn't forgotten then."

"What… oh! Sunny. She kissed me! Jesus! Why am I supposed to justify and remind everyone around me that my actions that day, and in fact for quite a while after were because of the fact that I didn't grow up here? I didn't know anything about this world and I'm supposed to get what people are talking about, just accept things and pick up a life at a shop along with a whole basket of comprehension? I didn't know what chocolate was, what a TV was, or a photograph. I'd never seen a car, hell, I'd never seen so many people! All I ever saw was Holtz and Calista. I didn't know anything! Why the hell are you all blaming me for everything? It's bad enough that Calista does! I don't need you all ganging up on me because you have fanciful ideas of how I should have behaved and what I should have known. I did what I did and I knew what I knew and there's nothing you can do to change it!"

"You raped her." spat Spike.

"You tried to rape Buffy." whispered Connor, staring Spike straight in the eyes. Spike's eyes widened.

"How the bloody hell-"

"Buffy told my dad and I overheard them. It was when I accepted Destruction as a part of me. Kind of filtered through with everything else."

Spike growled. Connor narrowed his eyes. "Don't feel angry with me because of what you did. I didn't rape Calista. I'd rather die. And I know you know that because you'd like to claim the same for Buffy. But you got closer to the unforgivable than I ever did. And you hate me for it because you think I'm beneath you. You can't honestly explain why I should be there, but you can't budge, and the idea that I'm more honourable than you drives you mad."

"You think you understand the world don't ya? Ever since bloody 'Destruction' took over your skinny body, you think you've got it all sussed."

"Not at all. If I had everything figured out, I'd be able to help Calista."

"Help her what? To let you do her?"

"No! To climb out of this… cavern of sadness she's fallen into. It scares me. She hasn't slept since the babies came home. She just sits on the edge of the bed, staring at the babies' baskets. It scares me because I don't know what she's thinking. She hates having to feed the babies, ignores them when they cry from wind or dirty nappies. This isn't like her. She's a loving person. Why can't she love anymore?"

Spike eyed Connor and noticed Connor wasn't really talking to him anymore. It was more like he was venting his frustrations to the world. Spike noticed how tired Connor looked, and how frightened his eyes were. He felt a little guilty. He may not have liked the kid, but he couldn't ignore the fear Connor had for Calista and the babies.

Connor wrapped his arms around himself. "Why can't she love anymore?" he repeated, looking miserable. Then he fainted.

Spike barely managed to catch him and keep him from hitting his head.

"Buggar!" he swore, picking the kid up and carrying him to the couch. "Peaches!" he shouted, "Peaches!"

"What's going on? So help me Spike, if you wake those babies up- Connor!" Cordy came in from the office and rushed to Connor's side as soon as she saw him. "Connor- what's happened?"

"Kid fainted."

"Spike, what did you do?"

"Didn't do anything. He just fainted."

Cordy narrowed her eyes at the blonde. "I find that-Ah!"

Connor's hand had shot out and grabbed her by the throat, his eyes wide and alarmingly bright. Cordelia gagged and then gasped as she began to glow white. Her eyes went milky and her whole body trembled as the glow encompassed Connor too. Connor's eyes began to glow with blue light, and then, just as quick as it had started, it was over and Connor let go of Cordy, who fell to her side, panting in shock. Connor was trembling, looking around as if he hadn't the faintest idea of where he was.

Cordy pushed herself to her feet and said to Spike, not looking away from Connor, "Get Angel."

"What the blo-"

"Get Angel!" snapped Cordy. Spike swore under his breath and went to find Captain Forehead.

* * *

Maybe I missed an episode where they discussed the possibility of making Angel's soul permanant, but I don't recall they ever did and quite frankly... it's a rather obvious solution to a lot of problems, isn't it? What do you think?

Night's Darkness


	28. Test of Champions

Big chapter here folks! All about Buffy, Angel and Connor and the Scythe!

Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 28**

"Cordy! What happened? Are you two ok?" Angel was frantic as he ran down the stairs, Willow, Giles and Wesley right behind him. Connor was sitting on the couch, a mug of tea in his hands, Cordy sitting beside him playing with his hair with one hand, while the other held her own mug of tea. Andrew was hovering near them, looking excited, no doubt hoping to be given a new mission.

"We're both ok, just a little freaked out." sighed Cordy, sipping from her tea.

"Good, now I'll come back to my first question of what happened?"

"Connor passed out and then he gave me a vision. We know where this promise of Destruction is. It's a weapon of some kind. I didn't see it, but I got the idea that it'll be a big help against the First."

"It's ancient." said Connor, "It was a gift to the Slayers from the Guardians."

"Gift?"

"Is Buffy here?"

"No, she and Dawn went shopping."

"Then get Faith. She should hear this."

"Hear what?" asked Faith as she came out from the training room. At the same time, Robin came down the stairs. Faith folded her arms and looked uncomfortable for a moment, before resuming her usual indifferent, casual expression. Robin sighed and shook his head at her. Connor got to his feet, looking a little unsteady, but he stayed upright.

"You know Connacht and his people gave the idea of the Slayers to humans."

"Yeah."

"Well, does anyone here know how the Slayers were formed?"

"No. There's no documentation for it." said Giles. Cordy shook her head,

"Well that makes sense when you find out what they did. Wouldn't want every Slayer to know just how she became one."

"Why? What happened?"

"Three shadow men… they took a girl, the First Slayer."

"Buffy's seen her before." Willow nodded.

"They bound her, chained her to the earth. Then they infused her with the soul and heart of a demon. This is how the Slayers get their strength. From a deadly demon. It is this source of their power."

"You're wrong." said Faith at once, looking furious.

"He's not, not unless the vision was wrong, but I don't think it was."

"Yeah, well, I'm sorry if I don't believe you Queen C, but how can we trust your judgement after that Power took your skin for a ride with junior."

Cordelia's cheeks flushed and she clenched her fists, looking like she wanted to slap the other woman. Connor sighed, looking frustrated. Angel looked furious. Faith was unapologetic.

Then Cordy smirked, "Funny, but you seem to be trusted even after you went evil all by yourself Faithy."

Faith growled. Cordy didn't stop, "Did you forget about how you killed humans for fun? That you tried to kill Angel, and Buffy and Willow? Or that you became the Mayor's lackey during his attempt to take over the world."

Faith's fist shot out to meet Cordelia's face. Connor's hand grabbed her wrist before she made contact. Then he threw Faith away into the wall.

"You really don't wanna attack someone in my family Faith. I don't take kindly to it." said Connor, eyes narrowed.

Faith got to her feet, looking stunned. Before, when she'd fought Connor, she'd been able to kick him seven ways to Sunday. But just there he'd thrown her like she was a doll.

"Don't tell me, you're still doing her. Thought you would be." Faith sneered, trying to recover.

Cordelia growled. "What is it with you people and holding that over him? You've no right after what you've all done to just remind him of it every time he steps out of line in your eyes. It's hard enough with what's happening with Calista. He doesn't need the things you're all throwing at him too. He just gave us a way to defeat the First and none of you can leave your sad little games of 'guilt trip' to find out anything about it!"

Angel put his hand on Connor's shoulder, and Cordy stood beside him, arms folded, an expression of maternal fury on her face. It surprised the Scoobies to see it. They hadn't realised that Cordy would have been so protective of Connor, or that her feelings for him could have been one of a mother. It just hadn't seemed likely. It **was** Cordy they were talking about after all.

Giles removed his glasses and polished them, saying, "G-g-getting back to the matter at hand. Where is this weapon?"

Connor looked at him and then looked at Wesley, addressing him instead. "It's outside the city, hidden in a cave. There are trials that need to be taken to get to it. I'm not sure what they entail, but you need two champions, one living, one dead, a slayer, a watcher, and a witch."

"Why so specific?"

"I don't know. But that's what you need."

"Well, Willow's our witch, Giles or myself can fill the role of watcher, Faith or Buffy for a slayer, and Angel or Spike for the dead champion."

"What about the living champion?"

"Connor fits the bill in that case. He's alive, but he is a champion."

"Says who?"

"Oh for God's sake will you people grow up?" snapped Angel. "We've got bigger issues than your petty problems."

"Well fine then! We'll go and get the damn weapon." growled Faith. "Let's mount up."

"No, not until Buffy gets back."

"We don't need B."

"She should know."

"Then call her."

"She left her cell here so she couldn't be called." said Cordy.

The babies began to cry. Cordy sighed and followed Connor as he went to tend to them. Faith watched them leave.

"When are they gonna name those kids?"

"When they can think of names they like I guess."

* * *

"God it stinks down here." groaned Buffy as she followed Angel and Connor down the tunnel.

"I've smelt worse things." shrugged Connor, looking around. His eyes seemed to be glowing in the darkness, which made it hard to meet his gaze. Angel was in front, leading them along.

When they'd reached the outskirts of the city, Connor had found the tunnel with little effort, following the pull of Destruction. Once they'd found it, Angel took the lead. Wesley had gone as a watcher and Buffy had decided to go instead of Faith, convincing the dark Slayer to stay behind by reminding her that this way she wouldn't have to be around Connor. Buffy brought up the rear, with Willow in front of her.

At the end of the tunnel they came to a dead-end.

"Damn, now what?"

"We need to figure a way past this. It's a test. In order to achieve the weapon we need to prove ourselves worthy of it. I think." Connor shrugged, looking unsure.

"Sounds like the usual cliché." said Buffy, sword held high.

"Perhaps it's a test of virtue."

"No… it's a test of intelligence, strength, power and spirit." said Angel.

"How'd you know?"

"Because it says so right there." Angel pointed to a little plague by the wall in their way.

"Oh. So… intelligence first?"

"Probably. Now, let's see…" Wesley walked up to the wall and looked at it. "There are panels here. They have symbols on them… I think they're hieroglyphs."

"What do they say?"

"Um… they're symbols of deities. Ra, Isis, Osiris…" Wesley reached out and touched the symbol of Osiris. Then he yelled in pain as an electric shock went through his body. "Apparently it's not him."

"Do we need to press them in order of power?"

"Well, lots of the Gods were powerful, and besides, Osiris was the king of the Gods, so that's not it."

"I thought Ra was the king." said Buffy.

"No, Osiris. It's a common mistake."

"Is there any hints?"

"No, just the symbols."

"Well, maybe the symbols are the clue. I mean… what if we're talking about a god that's relative to why we're here." suggested Willow.

"You mean a god for destruction?" asked Connor.

"That would be Babi I suppose… he's the 'Terrible, Dominant Baboon' god. He left destruction in his wake wherever he went."

"Baboon God?"

"Baboons are very vicious." said Angel, "Angelus once teased one. It bit him. Nearly took my hand off."

Connor snorted in amusement. Angel threw him a look and then said, "Is Babi there Wes?"

"Yes, let's see what happens." Wesley drew in a deep breath and pressed the correct symbol. He was flung away from the wall with a bright flash of blue. He smashed into the wall and groaned as he collapsed to the ground.

"Wes!" Willow ran over and crouched beside him. "Are you ok?"

"Aside from a severe concussion I think I'm fine." muttered Wesley, touching his head, wincing.

"Can you stand?"

"Yes, help me up."

Connor grabbed Wesley's arm and helped him to stand and return to the wall. "All right then, where were we?"

"Babi's a no."

"Oh, yes. Well, there aren't any other symbols for destruction here."

"What about Creation?" asked Angel.

"What?"

"Well we've been told again and again that they're intertwined, wouldn't it make sense that in order to find the weapon of Destruction, the answer would be Creation?"

"It would… the goddess of Creation was Iussas… there she is." Wesley hesitated as he reached out for a panel.

"Want me to do it Wesley?"

"Thank you. I'm just not sure whether I will remain conscious if I'm thrown across the room again."

"Sure." Angel pressed the panel and the wall slide up. "Weird."

"What?"

"This is a little like my vision when my soul was being pulled through. In fact, it's nearly identical. Even those of us who are here were in the dream… well except for Buffy and Willow. Cordy was there though."

"Odd. Did we succeed in the vision?"

"Yeah."

"Then let's hope life can imitate the imagination."

"If life could imitate imagination then chocolate would be fat free." said Buffy with a sigh as they passed under the door and into the next room. Then she froze as she saw what was before her.

They were in a huge room, only a lot of the floor was missing. They were standing on a narrow ledge of solid stone and a very narrow stretch of stone, with no visible support, would allow them to reach the other side. On the other side was a pedestal, and embedded in the stone was a weapon. It looked like a scythe, made from blood red metal and baring a wooden stake on either end of the handle. Buffy's breath hitched as soon as she saw it. She wanted it. It belonged to her! She started forward without a thought.

"Buffy!" Angel grabbed her arm and pulled her back. Buffy blinked, and looked at her lover. Angel's big brown eyes pierced hers, asking her what she was doing.

"Sorry, just… that weapon… it's mine." she said, unable to explain it any better.

"Yours?" asked Willow, "I've never seen you carrying that sort of thing around Buffy."

"No, I just… I know it. It belongs to me."

"The Guardians made it for the Slayer." said Connor, folding his arms, "It's probably got some mystical power for you Slayers."

"Ok, so… do we just walk across this narrow path and get it?" asked Willow.

There was a creak and then the wall behind them began to advance on them. It was forcing them towards the path.

"Looks like it!" said Angel, hurrying onto the path and beginning to walk across it. But when they reached the second panel they all vanished.

* * *

Angel was alone. That gave him cause to panic.

"Connor! Buffy!" he called, looking around the cave, hoping to see some sort of sign of them, anything. "Willow! Wesley!"

"Hello Angel."

Angel turned around to see a little girl, about ten, with curly blonde hair staring up at him with large blue eyes. She was small and frail looking, dressed in animal skin clothes. Angel knew who she was at once.

"Calista?"

Calista nodded, "Yes. Welcome."

"What's going on? Where are the others?"

"They are facing their own trials. Each of you must prove yourself."

"Oh, ok. Then wha-"

Something tackled Angel from the side, knocking him over. Angel pushed his assailant away and jumped to his feet. His eyes widened in horror as he saw who his attacker was. He was dressed in animal skins, his hair was wild and his eyes ferocious.

"Connor?"

* * *

Connor looked around the forest awed by the beauty around him. So much green, so alive, so natural. The leaves were huge, looking strong enough to support him. The tree trunks were so wide it would have taken four people stretching their arms to the max to encircle it.

"Connor!" cooed a female voice, calling to him from a distance. Connor looked around, but didn't see anyone. "Connor!" came the call again, followed by a giggle. Connor followed the sound, his ears straining for it.

"Hello?" he called, "Who's there?"

"Connor. Come to me." giggled the voice.

"Where are you?"

"Follow my voice silly."

Connor ran through the forest, pushing the leaves out of the way as he went. The sound of water falling was nearby, and the giggling was coming from it.

At last he pushed through the foliage into a clearing and stopped dead.

A large waterfall, like the kind he'd seen on TV, was before him, lush and surrounded by green, the water soaring over the edge of the cliff, down to the pool below and being carried off in a gentle river to the side. It was beautiful.

"Hello Connor." came the voice again. Connor realised now who it was.

Resting her arms on the edge of the pool, her long hair slicked to her head with water, and her skin bare, she smiled at him like she hadn't in days.

"Calista."

* * *

"Oh this can't be good." said Buffy, looking around. She was on a barren, rocky plain, rather like the place she'd been to when she'd met the First Slayer, only the lighting was all weird, like she was on a TV show and a little kid had been messing with the remotes picture settings. It was bright, and even the Slayer's own skin seemed pale. "Angel! Willow?"

"You are alone."

Buffy whipped around. Three men, with ebony skin, dressed in colourful African robes, with a staff each, and each wearing a different coloured headdress, red, black and brown.

"What?"

The man with the red headdress spoke again, but his lips formed words Buffy didn't recognise. Yet still, she could understand him.

"Your friends are not here. You do not need them here."

"Oh ok, so long as they're not hurt-"

"They are facing their own trials." said the one with the brown headdress.

"Ok, Good. That's good then. Um, you know, I know we have bigger issues to deal with, but how'd I understand anything you guys just said?" The three men didn't answer, they just shared a look and stood up. "Oh, I know, ancient magicks. I just thought it was neat." said Buffy, shrugging.

The men began to pace around her. Buffy tried not to get dizzy.

"We have been here since the beginning." said the one in the red headdress.

"Now we are almost at the end." said Brown Headdress.

A cold shiver went up Buffy's spine. "The neat of it just left. End of what?"

"You are the hellmouth's last guardian."

"Latest." Buffy corrected, "You mean latest guardian."

"No." said Black Headdress.

Buffy sighed, feeling exasperated, "Ok, um, I have a First to fight, ok? So just… test me so I can get my weapon and go kick it's non-corporeal ass."

"You are the Slayer, the weapon is for you. It is not you who must prove yourself for ownership. That is for your two champions." said Red Headdress. Buffy instantly knew he meant Angel and Connor. **Her** champions.

"Then why am I here?"

"You must prove yourself able to do whatever is necessary to win this fight. You must prove that you will do anything, sacrifice anything."

"Well I am! I've done everything I can to win."

"Not enough." said Brown Headdress.

"You know what I think?" said Buffy, feeling annoyed. "I'm not really here at all. None of this is actually happening. This is like a play. Like some shadow-play. Some non-reality re-enactment hologramy-"

Red Headdress hit her across the head with his staff. Buffy's world exploded in pain and then went black.

* * *

Angel side-stepped Connor's attack again. The boy snarled like an animal. "Connor! Stop, please. I thought we were past this."

"He'll never be past this." said little Calista, watching them fight. "Not until he's achieved his goal."

"What goal?"

"His reason for existence. Killing you."

Angel froze and looked at Calista. Connor slammed his fist into Angel's face and Angel fell to the ground with a grunt. The kid had a punch like a sledgehammer. Angel saved being proud of him for another time.

"Connor. There's more to your life than killing me." he tried to reason with his son.

"He won't listen to you. His mind is polluted by the words of another."

"Holtz."

"There's nothing you can say to control him." said Calista, sighing. "He must do what he must. He must be Destruction."

"Connor's a person! He's not a tool!" snapped Angel, deflecting Connor's next attack and throwing him away across the cave. Then Angel turned to Calista and grabbed her arm, hard enough for it to hurt. "Why are you here? What's with the kid act?"

"I'm here because I'm needed. I'm the only one who speaks words that both you and Connor can understand. You think you've communicated, but truly, you haven't. you know nothing of him."

"Says the little girl who'll grow up to drive my son insane." snapped Angel without thinking.

"You blame me? You have no idea what you're talking about." snarled Calista. Connor came back and tackled Angel, knocking him to the ground. "Connor will never give up. He doesn't know how."

"So what am I supposed to do?" asked Angel, deflecting punches with great difficulty. It was like his and Connor's first fight, when, even with Gunn and Gru, Connor had nearly beaten him.

"Fulfil the prophecy."

"What!?"

"'The Father will Kill the Son.' If you want to stop him, you have to kill him."

"That prophecy was a lie."

"Are you sure? Sahjahn is a pathological liar. For all you know he merely removed the part that said that Connor would kill him. Maybe the final part, the part that resulted in Connor being the way he is, was in fact real."

"I would never harm my son!"

"Most prophecies are self-fulfilling. Ever hear of Oedipus? Connor certainly fits that profile, doesn't he?"

"Shut up!" snapped Angel. Calista smirked.

"Make me."

Angel made a move towards the girl, rationalising that this wasn't really Calista, probably wasn't even human. Connor snarled and jumped between them, slamming his fist into Angel's nose. Angel felt it shatter and screamed in pain, clutching the injured olfactory between his hands. Calista giggled and peered around Connor, looking sweet and innocent, crouching behind the taller boy.

"You can't touch me. He won't let you."

Angel narrowed his eyes and growled, still cradling his nose. Calista continued,

"Besides, this isn't about me, it's about the two of you. You need to end this."

Angel barely had time to react as Connor drew out a stake and lunged for him again.

* * *

Connor walked over to the edge of the pool and crouched down, staring straight into the eyes of Calista. She smiled at him and grabbed his head in her hands, pulling him down and herself up to meet in a kiss. Connor felt electric sparks fly up his spine as he pulled her closer, trying to get more.

"Connor!"

Connor broke the kiss and looked around. Another Calista was standing there, looking furious. She was dressed in modern clothes that hid her figure and did nothing for her, her hair was pulled into a severe bun and her eyes were dark and dangerous. There was also hurt in them.

The first Calista let him go and sank back into the water, like a mermaid, her head and shoulders glimmering in the sun. The severe one spoke again,

"How many times are you going to betray me? How many times Connor?"

"I wasn't! I was just… I thought that this was you." Connor looked between them. The first Calista rolled her eyes and pushed away from the edge of the pool.

"I am the real one, or I could be. I'm the one you want, and you know it Connor. You don't want Ms. Priss, not really. It's too hard to be with her and for what? To be ignored? To be treated badly for old mistakes, while you hold no grudges against her? You don't want that Connor. You want me." She trailed her fingertips over the skin of her chest in a suggestive manner, smiling at him in a sweet, loving way that made Connor's mouth run dry.

"It's not me Connor." said the severe one, "If you don't want me, then say so. But don't say you want me and go after others behind my back."

"I'm not! Hell, I never did! I want you!"

"Then why are you watching her?"

"Because I'm what he really wants." The naked Calista's voice was smooth, seductive and strong as she treaded the water. "He doesn't want the weight you put around his neck, he wants to be free. With me he can be."

"And what about the fact that we have the babies?"

"You're the one who ignores them Calista." said Connor, narrowing his eyes. "I'm doing all the work with them."

Severe Calista looked uncomfortable, then said desperately. "I can't help it Connor. I wish I could."

"That's no excuse." sneered Naked Calista. "Connor, come to me, we can have fun together. We can _live_."

Connor was so tempted to just jump into the pool and lose himself in the girl smiling at him. But he forced himself to stay put, looking from one to the other.

"You're just a dream." said Severe Calista, "I'm real."

"Dreams are better than you." hissed Naked Calista. "Connor, come to me."

"No Connor! Please. Come to me." Severe Calista held her hand out. Her eyes didn't convey any warmth. They promised pain, bitterness and darkness. Naked Calista's eyes promised pleasure, joy and laughter.

Connor looked between them and sighed, lowering his head and murmuring, "I'm sorry."

Naked Calista giggled, while Severe Calista sighed. Connor looked up. "I don't want either of you."

"What?" demanded Naked Calista, swimming back to the pool edge and pulling herself out of the water. "You want me! I know it."

Severe Calista frowned in confusion.

Connor nodded, "I do. I want the warmth and joy you promise me, but you're not really Calista. You're just something she could have been if Holtz and Quor-Toth and me and everything around her hadn't been so cruel to her. If she'd had a normal life, you'd be real. But you're just a lie. And you." he looked at Severe Calista, "You're more real than her, but you're still not real. Calista may be angry and feeling the things you are, but she's not selfish like you. She's tried to hide her feelings, unlike you. Neither one of you is really Calista. So I choose her, regardless of how she's acting now, because I know inside there's the warmth that kept me safe from the evil that corrupted Holtz."

"You think it's that easy?" demanded Naked Calista. "You think that by choosing her she'll eventually come back to you? She hates you, deep down she wants nothing to do with you, but your persistence and his words are cornering her."

"She doesn't want you, she wants him." snarled Severe Calista.

"Who?" asked Connor, his throat seeming to clench shut.

Severe Calista held up a large globe. Inside it Connor saw Calista, the real one, looking sad as she stared into space. Then an arm went around her shoulders and a hand turned her head to face someone else's. Connor had to fight a growl as Kevin's handsome face appeared. Calista smiled at him and Connor's anger evaporated at once. Calista's smile was bright, alive and loving as Kevin leaned in and kissed her. Calista's arm went around Kevin's neck, deepening the kiss.

Connor had to look away. It was like someone had stuck a knife in his gut. That smile flew through his mind again. Severe Calista lowered the globe.

"You see? She doesn't want you anymore."

"You're lying." said Connor, sounding desperate.

"We're not. You saw it. You saw how happy she was to see him."

"Shut up!" snarled Connor

"Or what? What'll you do?"

* * *

Buffy groaned as she woke up. Her head hurt and the world was spinning in a not fun way. She sat up and was alarmed to notice that there were shackles around her wrists, which chained her to the ground. Buffy stood up quickly and saw the three men, the Shadow Men she realised, standing before her. A medium sized box was set in front of Red Headdress.

"What is this?" Buffy demanded, angry that these men had caught her off guard so.

"You must prove yourself, you must accept this."

"Accept what?"

"Accept the truest strength of the Slayer."

Buffy eyed the box with new alarm. She remembered Connor and Cordy's brief story of the First Slayer. "You mean… you're gonna stick a demon inside me?"

"This is how the First Slayer was created."

"You mean violated her! You violated that girl, made her kill for you because you're weak, you're pathetic."

"You don't understand." sighed Brown Headdress. They began to tap their staffs on the ground. Brown Headdress continued, "This is what you must accept in order to succeed in your fight."

Red Headdress walked forward and opened the box. Black smoke came out of the box in long tentacles. By the way it moved it seemed sentient as it danced around the circle, surrounding the four of them. Buffy struggled against the chains, feeling panicked.

"No, this isn't the way. This isn't the way to defeat the First. I… I have Destruction at my side, I have the Potentials, and I have Angel. I don't need you guys to knock me up with some demon dust."

"This is what you came for." said Red Headdress. The calm tone only infuriated Buffy as the smoke massed in front of her. She pulled hard at the chains, but they still wouldn't break. The smoke darted for her, and she felt it trying to enter her nose, mouth and ears. Buffy screamed.

* * *

Angel had lost all sense of time as he fought against his son, unable to get through to him with words, or any kind of logic. Little Calista had fallen quiet, content to watch. At last Angel spoke to her, knowing he needed answers from her.

"What do I have to do to stop him?"

"You need to kill him if you want to live."

"I will never harm my son!"

"Oh, you mean like you're not harming him now?" simpered Calista, folding her arms across her chest. Angel paused, noticing how Connor was bleeding too. "Face it, when you can't reason with Connor, you use your fists. Just like your father did for you."

"I'm not my father!"

"Aren't you? Your father beat you for making mistakes, and you did the same to Connor."

"No! I've never-"

"Just because you don't bleed doesn't mean you aren't wounded. How do you know whether you hurt him or not, when you only judge by the amount of blood falling from his body. His frail, angelic body. Funny, isn't it? He's more like an angel than you'll ever be. And yet he's certain he's set for hell."

"He doesn't think that way anymore."

Connor had backed off, seemingly trying to catch his breath and it gave Angel a chance to look at Calista.

"Are you sure? He's as lost as I am. He just tries to hide it from you all. He grew up thinking he had a chance for heaven if he could kill you. Your death would bring him great peace… no matter how much he can learn to love you."

"Are you saying that no matter how much Connor comes to love me… he'll never be at peace until he kills me?"

"What would you do to give your child peace of mind?" asked Calista, suddenly seeming older, wiser, more like her real self, before the babies had been born.

"Anything."

"Even if it meant your death?"

"Yes."

"Then why are you fighting him?"

Angel stared at the girl, then leaned forward and kissed her brow. Then he straightened up and faced Connor, spreading his arms wide. Connor looked confused.

"I'm right here Connor. If you need to kill me to be happy… then do it."

Connor walked over until he was standing just in front of Angel. They stared hard at each other. Then Connor lifted the stake. Angel didn't move.

The pain was excruciating, but the only things Angel could think about was how much he loved his son, and how much he wished he could have seen Buffy, one last time. He felt himself disintegrate into dust.

"Angel?"

* * *

Connor looked at the two Calista's and then turned his back on them.

"Go away the both of you. You're just a dream and a nightmare. Neither of you are real. All I want is reality."

"Your reality is that she doesn't want you or your babies. She wants out." sneered one.

"I don't care. I'll never stop loving her. Never."

"Even though she's betrayed you?"

"She's confused, she's lost. I know well enough what that's like. So yes. I love her, no matter what."

"You're pathetic. You're a love sick puppy."

"Say what you will, I don't care."

Connor grunted as he was spun around and pushed over, so he ended up sprawled out on his back. Naked Calista straddled his hips and leaned over, kissing him hard, forcing his mouth open. Connor pushed her away, or tried to, but for some reason she was stronger than him and continued the kiss, while her hands undid the buttons of his shirt.

"Stop!" Connor managed to get out when she pulled away.

"Oh, Connor, you know you want this. Think about it. Just let go, no more fears, no more worries, no more sadness and grief. Just let it happen."

"No!" Connor pushed her away. She held him down.

"Don't be an idiot."

"I'm not! I'm staying loyal!" snarled Connor, and with a sharp jerk of his body, he managed to knock her off him, "Stay the hell away from me. I don't want either of you. I just want her."

"Connor?"

Connor spun around to see a third Calista, staring at him with a lost expression.

"Cal?"

"Where are we? What's going on?"

Connor walked up to this third one and stared into her eyes, studying her carefully. She looked at him, confused and scared. Her eyes were dark, stormy, and Connor knew at once that she was real. Leaning in, Connor went to kiss her, but Calista pulled away from him. Connor sighed and pulled back.

"It's ok Calista. It's just a test."

"Test?"

"To see whether I would choose reality over a dream."

"And?"

"And I think I passed."

Calista frowned in confusion and then she vanished. Connor sighed again, and felt relief when the forest vanished and he was surrounded by darkness.

"Connor!"

* * *

"You must not fight this. You must accept this to win." said one of the men near Buffy's ear as the shadow tried to enter her. But because she was screaming, the creature couldn't enter her. At last it seemed to tire and pulled away, choosing instead to encircle her hips. Buffy shuddered at the cold feeling of the smoke.

"No! I won't let you do this."

"This is how it must be."

"No, you just took the easy way out. You grabbed a girl, whoever she was, and you stuck a demon inside her to make her powerful, because you were weak." Buffy gripped the chains and ripped them out of the ground with newfound strength. "Well I don't need it! I get it now. I can't fight this thing. But you… you're just pathetic."

The three men looked behind her and their eyes widened. Buffy looked around and her eyes widened when she saw who was now standing there.

"Angel? Connor!"

Both men looked around confused, but once they spotted Buffy they were instantly at her side.

"Are you ok Buffy?"

"Oh just peachy."

"Do you think that these two will be the key to stopping the First?" asked Brown Headdress.

"Not alone. But together? I wouldn't give the First a pray."

Buffy used her shackles as weapons and knocked the staff out of one of the men's hands. Connor tackled the one with the black headdress without questioning. Angel jumped for the Brown Headdress. Buffy quickly tackled Red Headdress.

"Buffy?"

"Yeah?"

"Are we going for killing or…?"

"Whatever you can do quickest." Buffy kicked the man in the head with a roundhouse kick.

There was a scream of pain and four of them looked around.

Connor had grabbed the man's face and the man was screaming in agony. Connor's eyes were wide in shock as, from under his hand, the man's skin began to decay, spreading out over his face and down his neck. His eyes shrivelled up and disappeared, his lips stretched out, while his cheeks sank in.

"Connor! Let him go!" yelled Angel, more out of horror for his son than any sympathy for the man.

Connor blinked and he ripped his hand away, staring at it in shock, while the man collapsed to the ground. It wasn't clear whether he was dead or not.

"Connor! The staff!" called Buffy, knocking Red Headdress away. Connor picked the staff up and then broke it over his knee. The smoke disappeared at once, just as Angel knocked the other man out. "I knew it," said Buffy, "It's always the staff."

"We offered you power to win." said Red Headdress, "You cannot just use this weapon. It will not be enough."

"Tell me something I don't know."

Red Headdress sighed, "As you wish." and he held his hand out near Buffy's head. Both Connor and Angel started forwards, but then held back, willing to wait. After a few moments Buffy looked up, very, very worried.

The next thing they knew, they were standing on the other side of the path.

"Buffy! Angel! Connor!" exclaimed Willow.

"Wes, Willow, are you guys ok?"

"Yeah. We were worried about you guys."

"Did you not have to face a trial?"

"No. You three disappeared. Willow and I crossed the path and tried to remove the weapon, but we had no luck-"

Buffy walked up to the pedestal and reached out. She gripped the handle of the scythe and pulled it out with a single tug.

"Oh." said Wesley, looking surprised. Suddenly the ground shook and the ceiling cracked. Buffy looked up and then snapped,

"Willow!"

"On it!" Willow's eyes flashed black and she shouted, "Teleport!"

They all vanished just as the cave collapsed.

* * *

So, what do you think? Good challenges? Bad challenges? Let me know.

Night's Darkness


	29. Sickness and Death

Yup! New chappie.

School is such a nuisance.

Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 29**

"What was the point of Willow and I being there if we didn't have to face any trials?" asked Wes as they walked back to the car from where Willow had teleported them to.

"Well, you figured out how to open the door, and Willow got us out. I'd say that was reason enough." said Angel as they got into the car, him and Buffy taking the front, while Willow, Wes and Connor squeezed in the back. No sooner had the doors closed than it began to pour.

"True I suppose."

"So… what did you guys have to do?" Willow looked at the three of them with eagerness.

"Don't want to talk about it." said Connor and Angel at the same time, in the same tone. Willow's eyes widened.

"Ok, fair enough. Buffy?"

"I met them. The men who made the First Slayer. They tried to do to me what they did to her.

"That's what the smoke was? The demon they used to infest the Slayer?" asked Connor.

"Yeah. They tried to stick it in me, to make me stronger. But I wouldn't let them. I won't win with that thing inside me."

"You made the right decision Buffy." said Angel, reaching out and squeezing her hand, while keeping one hand on the wheel as he drove them back towards the city.

"Did I?" Buffy's voice was soft. "They offered me more power, but I didn't like the loophole."

"So, you turned it down? It's OK, Buffy. We'll get by. We always do." Willow tried to be encouraging. Buffy shook her head.

"I don't know. They showed me..."

"Showed you what?"

"That they were right –it isn't enough."

"Why, Buffy? What did you see? What did they show you?"

"…An army. An army of Turok-Han, thousands of them."

There was a tense silence for a few moments before Connor nodded, "I know."

"You know?" Buffy looked at him. Connor's eyes met hers and the two warriors seemed to reach a kind of understanding for the first time.

"As Destruction's representative, I'm big on the sensing things that promise a lot of death and destruction. The First's army? Very high on the list."

"Why didn't you say something before?"

"Because none of Buffy's team trusts me. You guys wouldn't have believed me if I'd told you. I was hoping Cordy would have a vision or something to back me up."

"Connor… I'm sorry I was so hard on you. You made mistakes, but so has everyone here, in fact I'd say our mistakes are pretty worse than yours. I mean… you love-"

"Calista." murmured Connor, staring out the window.

"Yeah, you love her and-"

"No, no I mean, look, it's Calista."

Buffy looked through the windshield of the car and saw a lone figure walking through the rain at the edge of the road. They were hugging themselves and they were drenched.

"You sure?"

"Positive." said Connor, already winding down the window. Angel slowed the car down and beeped the horn. The person jumped and whirled around, revealing it was indeed Calista. "Calista, what are you doing here? Are you mad?"

"I don't know." said Calista in a small voice, looking very lost. Angel stopped the car and Connor threw the door open.

"Get in." he said, the words were an order. Calista hesitated. "Cal, get in here before you get sick."

Calista bowed her head and did as she was told, climbing into the car. Willow, Wes and Connor had to squeeze in together even more to fit her, until Connor pulled Calista into his lap and shut the door.

"You're soaking." said Connor, sounding exasperated. Calista said nothing, only stared out the window opposite her. Her face was blank now, her eyes inscrutable.

"Hey Calista, check it out." Buffy held up her weapon, "Nice big weapon. We might be able to win now."

Calista said nothing. Buffy's smile faltered and then fell, "Well… I think it's neat."

"Buffy can you still feel something from the weapon?"

"Oh yeah, it's powerful, I can feel it."

"Can I?" asked Willow, holding her hands out. Buffy passed it to her, the sharp stake at the end of it narrowly missing Angel. Buffy shot him an apologetic look. Willow held the weapon and closed her eyes.

"Can you sense it Willow?"

"Gotta say no. Must be a slayer thing."

Calista's hands shot out and she grabbed the scythe from Willow, drawing it to her. Her eyes were closed and she had a strange expression on her face, an almost blissful look. Connor's eyes were fixed on her face as she sat like that for five minutes. Then he tried to take the scythe out of her hands. Calista's eyes snapped open and she snarled at him like a ferocious animal. Connor recoiled and held his hands up in surrender. Calista stared hard at him for a moment, still like an animal. Then she turned her head away and she closed her eyes again and tilted her head back, that blissful expression on her face again.

"Connor?"

"I haven't a clue."

"We're home." said Angel, parking the car. Connor shook Calista, who recoiled away with a whimper.

"Cal, we're home, time to wake up."

Calista's eyes opened and she looked around. Then she sighed and held the scythe out letting Buffy take it back, before she climbed out of the car. Connor followed her quick, reluctant to let her out of his sight.

"How'd it go- Calista! We were getting worried about you." Cordy walked up to the two with a smile of relief. "Where'd you go?"

"Nowhere… just walked." Calista sounded dazed. Cordy's eyes flicked to Connor, who shrugged, looking helpless.

"Ok, sweetie. Connor, how'd the weapon quest go?"

"We got it. Looks cool."

"Way cool." agreed Buffy as she came in, holding the scythe aloft like a trophy.

"Damn…" said Faith as she walked over to her sister-Slayer, holding her hands out. Buffy handed her the scythe. Faith looked amazed. "And damn that's something."

"I know."

"It's old. And strong and it feels like… like it's mine." Faith then reigned in her excitement and handed it back to Buffy, "I guess that means it's yours."

"It belongs to the Slayer."

"You mean the Slayer in charge." said Faith in a matter of fact way, "You."

"Does it matter at the moment?"

"Guess not. So… you got the weapon."

"Yeah. Met the guys who made the Slayer too. They tried to knock me up with a demon."

"Ugh! So not fun. I should know, since it's happened to me twice now." said Cordy.

Faith and Buffy looked at her, Cordy shrugged, "Buffy dies a lot, I get knocked up by demons a lot."

"Ok… moving on very fast, Angel and Connor took on trials to prove themselves worthy of being our champions."

"Why them?" demanded Spike

"Because they were there." said Buffy in exasperation. She was getting really sick of this.

"Um… Buffy!"

Buffy looked at Connor and was surprised to see him restraining Calista, who was reaching out for the scythe, a hungry gleam in her eyes.

"Calista?" Buffy passed the scythe to Faith and walked over to Calista. Calista's eyes followed the scythe, ignoring Buffy completely. Buffy took Calista's chin and made Calista look at her. "Calista what is it?"

"I want the feeling back." she moaned, "I want it back!"

"What? What do you want?"

"I want to feel the possibility, I want to feel the Potential."

"I don't understand."

Connor reached out with one hand and touched Calista's brow, "She's burning up."

Buffy touched Calista's brow and saw he was right. "Connor, bring her upstairs and get her out of those wet clothes, and wrap her up well."

"But she's already roasting."

"She'll start to shake, which will make her warmer. Keeping her wrapped up will help. Willow, call a doctor."

"On it."

Connor lifted Calista into his arms and carried her up the stairs. Calista struggled for a moment, and then sagged in his grip, burying her face into his neck. Her skin burned against his.

"What else is gonna happen to you Cal?"

Calista groaned.

Connor reached their room and lay Calista down on the bed. He stripped her clothes off and then found her fresh pyjamas. But Calista didn't want to be dressed. Every time Connor tried to get her dressed she pushed him away, moaning and squirming away. Connor sighed, feeling tired and frustrated. Finally he gave up and grabbed Calista roughly and wrapped her up so tight in the blankets she couldn't squirm free.

"It's too hot!" Calista whimpered, "Take it off Connor."

"No, Cal. You need to stayed wrapped up." Connor tore his fingers through his hair, trying not to snap at her when she wasn't well. But he was so tired. He hadn't slept in days and he was stressed.

Buffy and Angel came into the room, followed by Willow and Spike.

"Good, she has to stay warm." said Willow. Connor nodded, rubbing his brow. Calista's face was shiny with sweat. "Wonder what brought this on."

"Maybe her immune system's low since she just had the babies." suggested Spike, leaning against the wall, hovering but staying out of the way. Connor shook his head.

"I think the scythe did this."

"Why?"

"Because she only got sick after she touched it."

"But… why would it make her sick?"

"I don't know, but if the fever's mystical, then that's your area. I don't know anything about magic except that you can't trust it."

Willow reached out and touched Calista's cheek, closing her eyes in concentration. After a minute she pulled away and said, "I think he's right. I'm getting something mystical from her, but it's not right."

"Ok. So… what do we do?"

"We need to learn more about that scythe."

"Ok, well, you, Giles and Wesley get started on that. Faith and I will keep training the Potentials, and Connor?"

"Yeah, I know, look after Calista." sighed Connor, fighting a yawn.

"No. Go get some sleep in another room. Spike will keep an eye on Calista and Cordy will handle the babies. You need to sleep."

"But-"

"Don't argue with me. You're exhausted, I can see it on your face. Now I don't care if I have to get Willow to brew you a sleeping potion, you are going to rest."

Connor looked at Angel and then sighed, "Ok. Fine. Whatever." He turned on his heel and walked out of the room.

"Buffy, would you really have-?"

"Force fed him a sleeping potion? Oh yeah. Connor's no good to us if he's falling asleep on his feet."

"I know… what can I do to help?"

"I want you to find out what's happening in Sunnydale, get as much intel as you can. I need to know what's left in the town, how bad it is, everything."

"Ok, Lorne and I can do that."

"Why the hell am I playing bloody babysitter?" demanded Spike.

"Because Calista likes and cares about you. You'll have a better chance at keeping her under control than anyone else other than Connor, and Connor needs to sleep."

Spike sighed, "Fine."

"Ok, keep her hydrated and warm Spike, until we know what's made her so sick, that's all we can do. I'll tell the doctor not to come." said Willow as she walked out.

Buffy nodded, throwing a final glance at Calista, feeling sympathetic and annoyed at the girl for causing so much trouble at the worst possible time. Then she left, with Angel right behind her.

* * *

"What are we trying to find out exactly?" asked Wesley as he poured over his books.

"We want to see if there's any information at all about the scythe." said Giles, his glasses hanging from his mouth.

Willow spoke up from behind her laptop. "Well, I did a check, the area where the cave was, it's an old vineyard. But before the vineyard was just, you know, a vineyard, it was a monastery. Could've been put there then. Some creepy monks messing with powers they don't understand."

"No, it's older than that. It's pre-Christian." said Giles, scratching his head, "And don't forget, both Connor and Cordelia mentioned something about Guardians."

Willow nodded, remembering, "OK. Well, I found reference to stories the monks used to tell about something older. Uh, like, some kind of pagan temple."

"Native American?" asked Wesley, looking up. Willow scrunched up her brow in frustration.

"No. I don't know. Ugh. OK, maybe we're just going about this the wrong way. Maybe we should research the weapon itself. Like...look. Maybe it's the Axe of Dekeron, said to have been forged in hell itself. Lost since the Children's Crusade, where it was said to have killed- Oh. Children. I hope that's not it."

Wesley looked at the redhead and smiled a little. It was touching that Willow, despite all she'd been through, could still sound so sweet and innocent.

Giles looked over a page of the book in his hands, "Well, I have reference to the Sword of Moskva, the, uh...Reaper of the Tigris—how are we supposed to narrow this down? The illustrations are never clear enough." He snapped the book shut and dropped it on the table, removing his glasses from his mouth and rubbing his forehead, "Oh, damn. We're running out of time. We really haven't got anything useful."

Willow stood up and walked to the weapon and picked it up. Wesley looked at her,

"Are you sure you don't sense any of the power that Buffy spoke about?"

Willow sighed, "Still gotta say no. Definitely a slayer thing." She ran her hands over the handle.

Giles walked over to Willow and stood beside her. "Tapping into magicks might help with that."

Willow's eyes widened, "Maybe. But, I mean, if Angel and Connor refuse to say what they had to do to win this thing, it must be pretty dangerous. And tapping into that..." She put the weapon down carefully

"Willow, you could do it without endangering yourself. Look at what you were able to do with Calista." said Wesley in a quiet voice.

Willow was apprehensive, shaking her head, "If I tried something big, I'd change. And then it's all black hair and veins and lightning bolts. I can hardly do a locator spell without getting dark roots. I know what I did with Connor and Dawnie and Calista was huge, but I was just the conduit, I didn't actually do the fighting. That makes a big difference."

Giles looked at her with severe eyes, but his voice was soft and kind, "And if it was necessary?"

Willow sighed, "Honestly? I don't know." She went back to her computer, looking disheartened. Wesley pinched the bridge of his nose. Giles sighed.

"All right. Do what you can. That's all any of us can do."

Willow nodded, "I guess so. Ugh. Man, none of these sound right." She scrolled down a long list about the history of the axe. "I mean, look. Here's one that's just "m" question mark. What the heck is that?"

Giles and Wesley both looked up at once. Giles moved to Willow's side,

"Let me see." He stared at the symbol for a few moments. "It's not a question mark. It's the international phonetics alphabet symbol for glottal stop."

"A whoey?" Willow looked bewildered. Wesley stood up, explaining,

"It's sort of a gulping noise like-"

Giles interrupted him, "I'm...remembering something here. Um... Ah. Hieroglyphs. Hieroglyphs stand for sets of consonants, as you know."

Willow widened her eyes in an attempt to look sincere,

"Yes, absolutely."

Giles began to pace,

""M" plus glottal stop is represented by a picture that's commonly thought to symbolize a sickle or a scythe. It's in thousands of carvings. In Egypt, throughout the ancient world."

Wesley's eyes widened, "Carvings like you'd have on a pagan temple?"

Giles nodded, "Go back. See what else we can find out about this temple. The scythe is a symbol of death. Let's see where these pagans buried their dead." Giles picked up the scythe and looked it over as he spoke. Wesley felt hope stirring in his stomach and heart.

* * *

So who here is hating Calista right now and who feels sorry for her? Be honest!! Lol. And who wants to cuddle Connor?

Night's Darkness


	30. Wait, Mom?

Back we go to good old Sunnydale in this chappie.

Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 30**

"At the edge of Sunnydale? Why so far from the temple?"

"We're not sure. We think it may have to do with sacred ground, and possibly the journey was symbolic. Either way, it's there."

"So... whether we're ready or not, we need to go now." said Buffy.

"Looks that way."

"Ok... then lets go."

"Wait! What?" Angel stood up. "Now?"

"That's right. And you have to stay here.You're not gonna be in this fight." She started to walk out of Wesley's office. Angel cut her off

"Why the hell not?"

Buffy sighed, "'Cause I can't risk you."

Angel shook his head, looking adamant and pissed off. "You need me in this."

Buffy shook her head, feeling frustrated that the vampire wasn't seeing the bigger picture. "No, I need you here."

"Why?"

Buffy looked around, then grabbed her lover by the hand and dragged him away into the garden. She didn't want anyone else to overhear this.

"If I lose, if this thing gets past Sunnydale, then it's days—maybe hours—before the rest of the world goes. I need a second front, and I need you to run it."

Angel couldn't argue with that logic. He folded his arms across his chest, narrowing his eyes,

"OK... that's one reason. What's the other?"

"The other reason is that I can't fight the way I'll need to if you're near me. And besides, you have your family to think about. Connor, Calista, the babies. They need you."

"You're bringing your family into this. None of them will stay behind."

"That's different and you know it. None of my friends are innocent children who need someone to guide them through the world. Connor needs you, Calista needs you and the babies will need you until their parents sort themselves out. That's the other reason."

Angel sighed and lowered his head. "Buffy… I wish we hadn't cancelled our dinner last night. There was something I needed to ask you."

"Well ask me now."

Angel looked around, as if seeing if the garden was good enough. Buffy furrowed her brow in confusion. What was he up to?

Angel swallowed and took Buffy's hands. "Ok, Buffy? You mean the world to me. And I know I don't exactly bring you a normal life, but… I guess I've decided it doesn't matter, because… well, normal's boring."

"It is." Buffy agreed smiling. It was nice to hear Angel finally admit it.

"Yeah. And the thing is… I want you to stay in my life forever, for better or worse."

"I plan on coming back Angel." she whispered. For some reason her heart was hammering.

"Yeah, well, maybe this will help encourage you." Angel went down on one knee. Buffy stopped breathing. "Buffy Anne Summers. Will you marry me?" The vampire produced a beautiful topaz and diamond ring that glittered at Buffy cheerfully. Buffy stared at it, unable to think. Angel's hopeful look faded to worried. "Buffy?"

"Don't say anything. I just want to bask." Buffy's eyes wandered over Angel, taking in every detail, a huge smile spreading over her face. "Ok! I'm basked. Of course I will Angel!"

Angel beamed at her and slipped the ring onto her finger. It fitted perfectly. It belonged there. Buffy grinned at her vampire and threw herself at him, knocking him over onto his back. She kissed him deeply, laughing into his mouth. Angel's arms were tight around her, holding her close and safe.

* * *

"What the hell do you mean you're meant to go with them?"

Buffy rubbed her brow as she heard Angel shouting at Connor.

No sooner had they come down from their high from Angel's proposal, than Connor had shown up informing them that whether they liked it or not, he would be going with Buffy. Apparently it was imperative he be there.

"He can't be serious. He's got a girlfriend and two babies here. Why would he leave them?" asked Dawn, shaking her head.

"Maybe he wants to make sure they're safe." suggested Wesley from the pouf-chair where he sat. Fred was resting her head on his shoulder.

"Or maybe he really is meant to be there. For all we know he could have a power jolt like Calista did."

"Or maybe he just wants to run away from his responsibility." sneered Spike. Cordy smacked him across the face. "Bloody hell!"

"Shut up! I'm warning you Spike, just shut up. Go take your rejection out on someone else or so help me I'll dust you myself." snarled Cordelia. Spike stared at her in astonishment. Buffy hid a grin. Cordy was certainly bolder than she had ever been in Sunnydale.

Angel and Connor's argument quieted, but was still loud enough to make the others jump when one of them snapped. After half an hour of shouting Angel came storming out, looking murderous. Striding over to Spike he grabbed the younger vampire by his duster and lifted him right off his feet.

"If you even breath wrong in his direction Spike I will be in Sunnydale and tearing you apart before you can finish your swear."

"Why is everyone threatening me today?" snarled Spike, shoving Angel away. Connor came out of the office looking embarrassed but triumphant. He'd won the argument it seemed. "Fine! I won't hurt the kid, unless he gives me cause."

"Not even then." hissed Cordelia. "Since you'll take everything he does as cause."

"Guys, seriously, I can handle it." said Connor, looking mortified now. "Beating the First is more important than a bitching fest with Spike."

"You can't trust him Connor." said Angel, backing up from Spike.

"No. But Calista can. He wouldn't do anything to hurt her and I'm half sure my death would hurt her… I think." Connor didn't sound confident at all. Buffy felt sorry for him but she had to step in.

"Enough. Connor's right. The First is more important than any fight between any of us. We need to work together. Connor, what can you do to help?"

"I need to be there, plus, the way I killed that Shadow Guy seems to be an indication of the fact that I'm still able to do things not normal to kill people."

"Oh yeah, almost forgot about that."

"So… are you guys gonna stop by this burial place first?"

"Yeah. We need more information about the scythe. Hopefully we'll get it there."

"We need to see why its upset Calista so much." said Connor, "She's not looking good."

"What about the babies? They need to be fed." said Dawn, looking worried.

"I ran out and got some powder, it'll do for now." said Cordy. "Don't you worry about the babies, they'll be fine. We'll find a place to keep them safe if things go bad."

"Thanks." Connor gave her a grateful look.

Buffy looked around at the Potentials that were awaiting her orders and then at her friends and then at Connor.

"Is that everything?"

"Yeah. That's everything I think." said Angel in a quiet voice. He put his hand on Connor's shoulder.

"Ok then. I guess we should go. Potentials, get out to the bus. Robin, will you and Faith look after them?"

"Sure thing." Robin nodded and ushered the Potentials out. Dawn straightened up.

"I'll go with them."

"Dawn I-"

"Don't even suggest that I stay behind. I'm not going to." Dawn stared at Buffy hard. Buffy sighed,

"If you get killed, I'm telling."

Dawn nodded to herself and walked out after the Potentials.

One by one the Scoobies bid the Fang Gang (as Dawn now called them) goodbye, walking out to the bus until Buffy and Connor were the only ones left. Angel stared at them as Connor grabbed an axe and then the pop-out stake from the weapons cabinet and Buffy hugged Cordy briefly. Then Angel grabbed the both of them and crushed them to his chest.

"Be safe. Come back." He whispered in their ears. They both held him tight. Then Buffy slipped her ring into Angel's larger hand. Angel gave her a questioning look. Buffy smiled,

"So I have to come back to get it back."

Angel smiled a little and nodded. Buffy's finger felt bare without it and she'd only been wearing it an hour. She wouldn't feel right until the ring was back on her hand.

"Look after the babies dad. And Calista."

"I will. I promise."

Connor nodded and followed Buffy out to the bus.

* * *

"That it?" asked Buffy, eyeing the small pyramid that was hidden among the bushes.

"That's it." said Willow.

"Ok, you guys wait in the bus. Connor? You're with me."

Connor nodded and stood up, following the blonde Slayer out of the bus. He followed her into the tomb.

"Looks like we were expected." he muttered, eyeing the lit torches around the walls. It made the inside of the tomb glow orange.

Buffy nodded.

"I'd forgotten."

Both warriors jumped at the sound of a woman's voice coming from behind a gauzy, wine coloured drape. It was drawn aside and a very old woman, with long white hair, looking frail, but with eyes that screamed strength. She smiled at them, although she looked surprised to see Connor.

"I'd forgotten how young you would be. Comes from the waiting. Mind plays tricks. I see you've found our weapon." She gestured at the scythe in Buffy's hand.

"Who are you?" asked Buffy, feeling a strange kinship with the woman. Connor didn't seem to feel it, judging by the suspicion on his face.

The woman sighed, spreading her hands, "One of many. Well...time was. Now I'm alone in the world."

Connor narrowed his eyes, "So what are you? Some kind of ghost?"

The woman chuckled, shaking her head, "Nope. I'm as real as you are. Just...well... let me put it this way— I look good for my age. I've been waiting." She held out her hands and Buffy handed over the scythe. The woman admired it, saying, "You pulled it out of the rock. I was one of those who put it in there."

"What is it?" asked Buffy, looking it over too, like she'd been doing since she'd sat down on the bus.

The woman grinned. For some reason Buffy thought of Dumbledore. "A weapon. A scythe. Forged in secrecy for one like you who— I'm sorry. What's your name?" She was only looking at Buffy.

"Buffy."

The woman smiled indulgently, "No, really."

Buffy shrugged. Connor's lips twitched in amusement. The woman hurried on to cover her embarrassment. "We forged it in secrecy and kept it hidden from the Shadow Men, who-"

"Yeah. Met those guys. Didn't really care too much for 'em." said Connor, grimacing.

The woman nodded, "Ahh, yes. Then you know. And they became the watchers. And the watchers watched the slayers. But we were watching them."

Buffy's eyes widened, "Oh! So you're like... what are you?

"You're the Guardians, aren't you? The people who kept the Slayer safe." said Connor. Buffy narrowed her eyes at him

"You did not just say safe."

Connor shrugged. The woman nodded,

"We are indeed Guardians. Women who want to help and protect you. We forged this centuries ago, halfway around the world."

"Hence, the Luxor Casino theme."

"Forged there, it was put to use right here...to kill the last pure demon that walked upon the Earth. The rest were already driven under. And then there were men here, and then there were monks. And then there was a town, and now there was you. And the scythe remained hidden."

Buffy shook her head, "I don't understand. How is it possible that we didn't know any of this?"

"We hid, too. We had to until now. We're the last surprise."

"Does this mean I can win?"

The woman shrugged, "That is really up to you. This is a powerful weapon." She handed the scythe back to Buffy. Buffy nodded,

"Yeah."

"But you already have weapons." The woman looked at Connor. Connor straightened up, understanding in his eyes.

"Destruction against Creation. That's why I have to be here, isn't it? Something's gonna happen and Destruction needs to be there."

The woman chuckled, "You may have your father's strength and your soul mother's spirit, but you have your birth mother's brains Destruction."

Connor furrowed his brow, "Huh? Soul mother? Body Mother? I've two mothers now too? Isn't having vampires for parents enough?"

Buffy looked from one to the other, then focused on the woman, "Splainy?"

The Guardian grinned, as if she was enjoying herself now, "You have a soul Destruction."

"It's Connor."

"But only one of your parents had a soul. Hence, you should have only had half a soul, yet you do not. The Life your father earned would not have prevented that."

"So… why do I have a full soul?"

"Because there was another woman, and Creation, to help protect you, to make you what you are, took part of her soul and gave it to you so you could have a full soul."

"I'm carrying around someone else's soul?"

"No. It is yours, forged from the blending of your father's and the other, your soul mother, because your birth mother could not give you that."

"Ok… I know Darla is the one who gave birth to me, or at least… staked herself for me to be born, so who's my soul-mother?"

The Guardian looked at Buffy, "The soulmate of Destruction's father seemed the best choice."

Buffy's eyes widened to huge proportions, alarmed. "Me? You took my soul and gave it to Connor so he could have a full one?"

"Wait! Are you saying that Buffy's like… my mother?" Connor looked very, very wigged.

"Essentially, yes."

Connor raised his eyebrows, pursing his lips, "Dad's gonna freak."

"Hang on one second here! I'm a mom? Oh God! I'm a grandmother?" Buffy looked panicked. Connor narrowed his eyes to slits, as if hurt by her reaction.

"This is why you found last year so difficult. Part of your soul was with Destruction. Is still with him in fact, but you've learned to cope. And no, you are no less human with only half a soul. For some reason, if you are born with less than a whole, you aren't human, but if you loose pieces as you go, you don't become less human. Souls are strange things."

"Oh." Buffy seemed to be trying to control her breathing.

Connor suddenly gasped and burst out "Calista! I mean, Creation. The scythe made her sick. Why?"

"I'm afraid that is something I cannot say anything about."

"It's a clue, isn't it? How to use the weapon."

"Oh you definitely have your birth-mother's brains." The Guardian looked at Buffy and stroked the scythe with one hand, "Use your weapons wisely and perhaps you can beat back the rising dark. One way or another, it can only mean an end is truly near."

"Yeah, yeah, jeeze! What's with all you hinters and your love of ominous warnings."

Buffy and Connor spun around to see Connacht leaning against the wall, grinning like a devil. The Guardian sighed.

"You love ruining moments, don't you Connacht?"

"It can be fun." Connacht straightened up. "I'm just here to tell you two to hurry up and get back into the bus. You've got three Turok-Han heading your way, hungry for blood."

"Oh great!" Connor looked at Buffy and noticed how she seemed to be in a bit of a daze. He really didn't blame her. Grabbing a hold of her arm, he said to the Guardian, "Come on, we have to go."

"I cannot. I must remain." sighed the Guardian. "But you must go. Hurry! Before they get here."

"But-"

"Connor RUN!" shouted Connacht, just as a Turok-Han burst in from behind the Guardian and snapped her neck. Buffy blinked and leapt into life, grabbing Connor's hand and dragging him outside. Connor followed her, but he looked back. He closed his eyes and willed the torches to grow to hold back, maybe even kill, the Turok-Hans. The pyramid exploded.

"Whoops." Connor winced.

"Connor! Was that you?" Buffy sounded torn between scolding and amazement.

"I didn't mean to do that… boy you really do sound like my mother."

"Oh don't start!" Buffy took hold of his arm and rushed the both of them into the bus. "Drive!" she ordered Spike, who slammed his foot down on the accelerator and the bus jumped forward.

"Buffy, what the hell happened?"

"Oh we got some mumbo-jumbo about how powerful the scythe is, Turkey-hams jumped us, Connor blew them up and oh yeah! I'm Connor's freaking mother!"

There was a silence in the bus, save for the engine. Connor blushed.

"Run that by us again." said Xander in a slow voice.

"Apparently, because Darla didn't have a soul, in order to make sure Connor had a full soul, Creation took half of my soul and gave it to Connor. Without asking me. Oh! And this is why I was acting so weird last year apparently, because I hadn't compensated for having half a soul." rambled Buffy.

"Apparently I got Darla's brains though." Connor shrugged, spreading his hands in a helpless gestured. He was just as shocked as Buffy, but seemed to be taking it better.

"Yeah, I think I just got insulted." Buffy shook her head.

"So... I'm sorry I need that explanation again." Xander was gaping at them.

"Later Xander, Buffy did you find out anything about the scythe?"

Buffy told them everything the Guardian had said, including what she'd said about Connor. Giles shook his head when she was done,

"Bloody hell, she'll give us very little on the scythe's actual capabilities and drop a bombshell on us along the way."

"No kidding. But then again, it's not that big of a deal when you consider Connor's family tree."

"Huh?" Connor looked at Anya in confusion. Anya shrugged like it was obvious.

"You have The Scourge of Europe turned Champion for a dad, an evil vampiress who staked herself so you could live for a mother, Spike for a nephew, Drusilla for a sister, the Master for a grandfather, a descended angel for a mate, and now Buffy for a soul-mother and Dawn for a soul-aunt."

"Oh my God! Must sit down." Buffy sank into the nearest seat, her eyes popping out of her head. Connor joined her, looking disturbed.

"Cool! I'm an aunt." Dawn grinned. Buffy looked at her sister with that same poppy-eyed look. Dawn shrugged, "I think it's neat. I mean... it sounds to me like it's a bit like how I was made human. You know, your flesh and blood made me human Buffy, and now your soul has made Connor good."

"Actually that makes sense."

"It does?" Buffy was having trouble getting past the idea of being not just a mother, but a grandmother! "I'm too young to be a grandmother." she whined.

"I'm a year old, technically I'm too young to be a father." Connor shrugged.

"Shut up the pair of you! You're freaking me out." snapped Spike.

"You're freaking out? Hello! I'm a grandmother!"

"Is that so bad Slayer? You can't say you haven't wanted grandkids. Now you have em."

"Yeah... but this is outta left field."

"So?"

Buffy snapped her mouth shut and looked at Connor. There was absolutely nothing about him to suggest he was connected to her. And Buffy had gone from hating his guts to liking him. But unlike Dawn, she'd never felt an urge to protect him, to care for him, like he was connected to her.

Connor met Buffy's eyes and sighed, standing up. "I'm gonna think on what you need that scythe for. You let me know when you're ready to talk to me about this." and he walked away, leaving Buffy feeling rather ill.

* * *

Buffy sat outside on the front porch of her house, the scythe in her lap. Her mind was still reeling from what she'd learned. She was a mother! That was all that was registering in her mind. She was a mother. And her son was the offspring of two vampires, with her soul mixed in to keep him human, who'd grown up in a hell dimension and was a father to twins, with a girl who may or may not have lost her mind. Oh! And he was Destruction incarnate. Couldn't forget that little fact.

The Potentials were all asleep in the house, most of them complaining about the loss of proper beds. Buffy's friends were either sleeping or trying to get settled among all the tension.

There was a rustle and Buffy looked up. Connor was perched in the tree outside her house. He was looking up at the stars and moon, as if he was trying find some sort of answer there. Tears were cutting into his alabaster cheeks. It didn't seem like he knew she was there, but Buffy wouldn't have been surprised if he did. Buffy felt a little guilty for wigging out so much about it. Connor probably though she hated him again. That wasn't true at all. She'd come to care about him, it was true, in fact she had begun to consider him in the same way she considered Dawn. But the revelation had been like a smack to the face.

"Connor?" Buffy called, keeping her voice soft. Connor looked at her. Buffy held out her hand. "Come here."

Connor jumped down from the tree without a sound. He approached Buffy, looking wary.

"Yeah?"

"Sit with me."

Connor did so, but he put two inches of space between them. He clasped his hands together and stared at the ground. Buffy sighed,

"I'm sorry for wigging on you. It's not that I don't like you. I do. I just never expected to find that you were my son."

"Yeah, I wasn't exactly expecting it either."

Buffy nodded, "Look, I care about you. I really do. I'm just... not sure if this is the best time to get bogged down in this. You know? I mean, we have an ultimate evil to fight so..."

"You know what's weird?"

"What?"

"All my life, growing up, I was trained to kill the only remaining family member I had. Dad... he was the only one of my family left, or so I thought. And even though I hated him and was prepared to kill him, in the back of my mind, I would hear this voice, reminding me that once I killed him, I'd have no blood relations left. But I accepted this. And instead... I have my dad. I have my children. I have a nephew. And now I have a mother and aunt. Instead of loosing the only family I had left... I gained more."

Buffy smiled a little and reached out, running her fingers through his chick-down soft hair. Connor closed his eyes and leaned into the touch, relaxing. Buffy's smile widened and she put an arm around Connor's bony shoulders and shifted closer to him. Connor leaned towards her and Buffy continued to stroke his hair. It wasn't long before Connor was asleep in her arms. Buffy looked down at his face and smiled to herself, feeling a rush of warmth in her heart as she stared at... at her son.

"Pretty, ain't he?"

Buffy's head shot up to look up into eyes full of evil. They belonged to a tall man, dressed the clothes of a preacher. He was handsome, with a southern twang in his accent. Buffy knew who he was without thinking. The man Calista had killed in the church... had it really only been just over a week ago?

Buffy shook her head, "You're not him."

The First smirked, shaking its head, "No, she killed him right and proper. Terrible loss. This man was my good right arm. 'Course, it don't pain me too much. Don't need an arm. Got an army."

Buffy narrowed her eyes, but kept her face blank, "An army of vampires. However will I fight-"

"Every day our numbers swell. But then you do have an army of your own. Some thirty-odd pimply-faced girls, don't know the pointy end of a stake." The First feigned concern, "Maybe I should call this off."

Buffy looked away from the First, pursing her lips, "Have you ever considered a cool name? I mean, since you're incorporeal and basically powerless. How about "The Taunter?" Strikes fear in the heart-"

"I will overrun this Earth. And when my army outnumbers the humans on this Earth, the scales will tip and I will be made flesh." Buffy knew she'd struck a nerve with the Ultimate Evil.

"Talk on. I'm not afraid of you."

The First rolled the preacher's eyes, "Then why aren't you asleep with your pretty little son?" It eyed Connor with a look that unnerved Buffy. The First wanted Connor, wanted to use him as a weapon. She tightened her grip on him, "'Cause he can't help you. Nor Faith, nor your friends, certainly not your wanna-slay brigade. None of those girlies will ever know real power unless you're dead. You know the drill-" The First morphed into Buffy's form

"-Into every generation, a slayer is born. One girl in all the world. She alone will have the strength and skill to— There's that word again. What you are. How you'll die. Alone. Where's your snappy comeback?"

Buffy looked at Connor, whose head rested on her shoulder, "You're right."

"Hmm. Not your best."

Connor jumped in his sleep and his eyes popped open, "Too much milk!" he yelped. Then he lifted his head and met Buffy's eyes. Buffy was staring at him questioningly. Connor blushed "Weird dream." Then he noticed something in Buffy's eyes as she stared at where the First had been standing "Buffy? Is something wrong?"

Buffy looked at him, a frown on her face. "No. Yeah. I just realized something. Something that really never occurred to me before. We're gonna win."

* * *

Hm, did anyone see that revelation coming? I sure didn't. lol

Night's Darkness


	31. The night before

Only 8 more chapters to go!

Lil Lady Darknes: I'd actually sorta forgotten about all that, since I never actually saw those episodes. However, in terms of the story's excuse I'm gonna say that Daniel Holtz probably didn't know any of that. He'd have known Angel and Darla's history up until the time he was encased in the stoney thing. Lol

BlackbAngel and drcuteangel: I'm glad you like the plot twist with Buffy and Connor.

RabidReject: Here's more!

Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 31**

"What do you think?"

Xander gaped at her and then said in a slow voice, "That depends. Are you in any way...kidding?"

Buffy, who'd been elated by the idea that had popped into her head, and encouraged by Connor who'd praised it, felt deflated.

"You don't think it's a good idea?"

"It's pretty radical, B." said Faith, shaking her head. Giles looked around from where he was standing by the window of Buffy's room, Connor standing beside him.

"It's a lot more than that. Buffy, what you said, it –it flies in the face of everything we've ever—every generation has ever done in the fight against evil." He grinned, "I think it's bloody brilliant."

Buffy relaxed, grinning at her old watcher and mentor.

"You mean that?"

"If you want my opinion."

"I really do."

"Whoa, hey." piped up Willow, looking like she was about to break into a serious sweat, "Not to poop on the party here, but I'm the guy that's gonna have to pull this thing off."

"It is beaucoup d'mojo." Faith agreed. Connor looked confused. Buffy felt amused at his bewilderment. Her son was so like his father.

"This goes beyond anything I've ever done. It's a total loss of control, and not in a nice, wholesome, my girlfriend has a pierced tongue kind of way."

Connor's face became even more bewildered. Dawn looked at Willow, and Giles looked at the ceiling. Buffy stayed focused.

"I wouldn't ask if I didn't think you could do it."

Willow bit her lip, looking frightened. "I—I'm not sure that I'm stable enough."

Giles was quick to reassure her, "You can do this, Willow. We'll get the coven on the line, and we'll find out how they can help."

"And I'll be there to help too." said Connor, stepping forward, "This is why I'm here. I know it. What you're about to do… it breaks ancient bonds of magic. You'll need Destruction for that."

"And we've figured out why Calista liked the scythe so much. She could feel the power and what it would be used to do. I wouldn't be surprised if the scythe drained her to help aide us." added Buffy

"Oh!" Dawn nodded, her face clearing, ""Pierced tongue.""

Buffy's eyes widened in alarm, "Dawn needs to do a research thing."

Giles nodded, saying a little too fast, "Yes, you do."

Connor looked from Buffy to Giles to Dawn, still looking lost.

Dawn rolled her eyes "It's cool. Watcher junior to the library."

"I'll go dig up my sources. Quite literally, actually." Giles walked out of the room, muttering to himself in thought. Connor looked even more alarmed by what he overheard.

"Come on, let's go assemble the cannon fodder." Anya got to her feet. Xander stood up with her.

"That's not what we're calling them, sweetie." he said as they walked out together.

"Not to their faces. What, am I insensitive?"

"Can I answer that?" asked Connor, looking mischievous.

"No." said Buffy, wagging her finger at him as she handed Willow the scythe. "You two work on the spell. I have to go address the Potentials."

"Um... Buffy... Mom?"

Buffy froze and turned back, amazed, not just that Connor had called her that, but also at the feelings it brought. She smiled at him like he'd given her a great gift. Willow looked touched. "Yeah Connor?"

"Erm... could you call Dad and see how Calista and the babies are doing?"

"Sure. By the way, no names yet?"

"I was thinking of calling the boy Liam William Angel, after Dad and Spike."

"Aw! That's so cute!" gushed Willow. Connor smiled,

"Well, until Calista comes out of her funk, and helps me, we'll stick with that. Liam William."

"Ok, I'll tell Angel. Do you think I should tell him about... you know."

"Might be better to tell him in person. Besides, he'll have a hard enough time getting over the fact that I've named his grandchild after Spike."

"Yeah. Good point."

* * *

Faith grunted as she lifted another box with Robin and they carried it over to a vent.

"It's one hell of a risky idea." said Robin, shaking his head.

Faith grinned, "Buffy's wacky that way."

They set down the box in front of the vent. Robin nodded his head,

"Yeah. There's one more vent right by the stairs. We block that, they got no sewer access, should drive them straight up into the school proper."

"That's assuming they get past us."

"Which, no offense, I am."

Faith smirked at him, "Come on, you gotta have a little Faith."

"I think I've had my share, thanks." Robin muttered under his breath.

Faith froze and then she grinned, putting a hand on her hip, "Well, I trundled right into that one, didn't I? Look, I'm sorry if it seemed like I was blowing you off before. I was just trying to, you know, blow you off."

"Yeah, you know what, I figured that one out all by myself."

Faith shrugged, "It's nothing personal. It's just after I get bouncy with a guy, there's not that much more I need to know about him."

"That's bleak."

Faith shrugged again, sighing, "Way of the world."

Robin rolled his eyes, regarding Faith carefully, "That's good to know 'cause for a second there I thought it was more defensive, isolationist slayer crap."

Faith laughed, "And he comes out swinging."

"Faith, there's a whole world out there that you don't even know about, and a lot of the men in it are pretty decent guys. They'd surprise you."

Faith pursed her lips, looking everywhere but at Robin, "Guy looks at me, let's just say his priorities shift."

Robin's tone was cynical, "Why, because you're so hot?"

Faith smirked, "It's what it is, yo."

Robin rolled his eyes, "Oh, please. I am so much prettier than you are." Faith blinked, taken aback. Robin rested his elbow on the box, "Oh, and, uh, for the record, our little encounter didn't exactly change my world."

Faith laughed, "You're tripping! That was rock 'em, sock 'em!"

"No, no, no, no. It was—it was—it was nice enough, you know, and you're—you're very, um... mm, enthused, and I think with a little more experience-" Robin's voice now dripped with false sincerity and was patronising, like he was indulging one of his students.

Faith's eyes flashed, "Dude, I got mad skills."

Robin nodded, still with that indulging attitude, "Yeah, of course." He straightened up. "Let's finish up."

"No, hell with that. We're going again, baby." She started unbuckling her belt. "You're gonna learn a little respect here, pal."

"Faith." Robin chuckled, "Make me a deal, all right? We live through this, you give me the chance to surprise you."

Faith narrowed her eyes, feeling uncertain, a feeling she didn't like at all.

"What would be the surprise?"

Robin gave her a genuine patronising look, "You do know the meaning of the word, right?"

Faith rolled her eyes, "Fine." She re-buckled her belt. "Deal."

"Good enough."

They went back to work, but Faith wouldn't let one thing slide.

"No way you're prettier than me."

Robin grinned at her, shrugging, "A little bit, yeah."

Faith stared at him and then grinned.

* * *

Connor and Willow were in Willow's room, looking over Willow's plan. Well Willow was, while Connor sat still as a statue, his eyes closed and his chest only just moving in breath. Willow looked at him now and again, finding it disturbing because she was almost positive that Connor's skin was becoming a familiar luminescent glow. That made her nervous, because she could sense Connor was tapping into something big. And she'd have to use that this time. Once was enough to scare the willies out of her.

"How do you know what to do?" Willow asked at last. Connor opened his eyes and Willow jumped when she saw they were turning into that same intense ice-chip look.

"What?"

"I said, how do you know what to do? You have no books, or guidance or anything."

Connor shrugged, "To be honest, I've no idea what I'm doing. I just heard meditating is good to tap into power. Thought I'd give it a try."

"Is it working?"

"Dunno. Maybe. I can feel it bubbling, you know, like water that's not quite boiling, waiting for that last bit of heat. It's all so... hard to explain."

"Getting that." Willow sighed, looking at her notes again. "Connor?"

"Yeah."

Willow looked at him again, "I... um... ugh! I really wish she hadn't said that about me."

"What? The thing mom said?"

"I cannot get used to you calling her mom."

"Meh. Seems appropriate. Darla's Mother, Buffy's Mom, Angel's Dad, Spike's Brat-Nephew and Dawn's Squealing-Aunt."

"Even by our standards you're weird." Willow smiled at him. Connor grinned,

"I think if I had a normal life, I'd be bored stupid."

"Same here. Still, normal can be nice."

"Well, maybe when we get through this, you guys can show me what that's like, when I'm not changing nappies."

"You like Oreos?"

"Erm, yeah."

"Then you'll do well with normal."

"Thanks. Oh, and I think what mom said earlier was true."

Willow squeaked with uncertainty. Connor stood up and patted her shoulder, a little awkward. "I'll be there, relax. I'll keep you grounded."

"Yeah, well, you might have to keep me stab-ded, if I go to the bad place."

"You saying I might have to kill you?"

"I am."

"Mom would ground me for life. Let's make sure I don't have to."

"Connor, I'm being serious. I mean it! The darkest place I've ever been, this is what lies beyond that. This is too important for me to-"

"Mom believes in you."

"You know, Buffy: sweet girl, not that bright."

Connor grinned a little, "Look, she may be my mom, but that means very little when it comes to who I trust. And I trust you. I know you can do this and I'll keep you grounded. Once you use that scythe, you'll change the world. Someone has to make sure that doesn't go to your head."

Willow smiled, "There really is some of Buffy in you. Thank goodness it's the sense of humour."

Connor chuckled.

* * *

Anya glared at Xander. Xander smirked back, spooning some ice cream out of a tub with **her** spoon.

"You know what I miss about L.A?"

"The shops?"

"No."

"The fact that it smells like pee?"

"No! And ew!"

"Then what? Can't be the adorable babies, nor Deadboy, Wesley or any of the others... ah!" Xander pointed Anya's spoon at her, "You miss the hotel."

"I do! And I also miss that we could all have a room each and still be 'together'. I mean, that's just classy. And here? Here we're crammed in like sardines in a can, with only one tub of ice cream left." Anya snatched the spoon back, digging in. "We're all gonna die tomorrow."

"Maybe. Maybe not."

"What do you mean maybe not? We're all gonna die and even if we save the world, it won't matter 'cause we'll be dead. And if we live? I'm betting Sunnydale will just be a great big hole of nothing. How're we supposed to live off that?"

"Tell you what Ahn. If we live through this, I'll buy you an establishment and you can start the 'Magic Box 2' in L.A. How's that sound? You'll be able to make lots and lots of money."

Anya grinned, "I like that. Thank you Xander. If you do that for me... I might have sex with you."

The words were only meant as a joke, but Xander looked up with an intense look in his eyes. Anya's eyes widened.

"Oh."

* * *

Connor sat out on the porch, feeling sick to his stomach with nerves. He wasn't sure he'd be able to give Willow the power boost she would need to complete the spell.

"Hey."

Looking to the side, Connor saw Connacht sitting cross legged on the grass, his body facing at a right angle to Connor, but his head turned towards Connor.

"Hey." Connor stood up and joined him, sitting opposite him, assuming the same pose. "So... thanks for the warning back there."

"No problem. I figured you could do with a break."

"Especially since we just had the equivalent of a sluk dropped on us."

"I never liked sluks. I used to fight them whenever I went to the surface, among other demons." Connacht sighed, resting his elbows on his knees.

"So that's where the demons went, I mean all those years ago."

"Yup. Quor-Toth is the way it is because humans drove the pure demons there."

"What a nice thought." Connor rolled his eyes. Connacht grinned.

"Buffy's really influencing you."

"Not so much, I'm just feeling sarcastic."

"Always a good thing. Sarcasm can save your life. Saved mine more than once."

"Really?"

"Yup." Connacht nodded his head and then sighed, leaning back on his hands "God I hate this."

"Yeah. Not exactly great. But if Mom's idea works…"

"You don't have to call her mom you know. You're only doing it because you feel you should. Because you feel she should be given the title. But titles need to be earned. Babies call the person most deserving mom and dad, because they remember who held them when they cried and who played the games that made them laugh. Buffy's not yet done enough for you. You know it."

Connor looked away, "Already started. I'd hurt her if I stopped."

"She'll realise she has to earn it."

"I'll see. Might be dead tomorrow."

"Nope. Not happening." Connacht shook his head.

"What? Because you say so?"

"Pretty much. Also, because you're Destruction's connection to the world, you kinda, can't die anymore."

"Seriously?"

"Yeah, well, if the connection was severed, and that could happen since Destruction and Creation and the All are very hard to predict, you'd be normal Connor again, with the usual strength and speed and skills, but also killable."

"I see."

"You're doing good you know. With the power and the mystical connection and whatnot. Could be learning a little faster, but... all things considered, not bad."

"Yeah, well, you try figuring out a Big Bang worth of power while taking care of your newborn twins because their mother can't be bothered to."

"Is that what you really think? You really think Calista just can't be bothered to care for them?"

"Dunno what else to think at this point." Connor shrugged.

"Ever hear of Post Partum Depression?"

"No. What is it?"

"Happens to some women after they've had a child. They get depressed, in a really bad way. They feel inadequate, empty... lost. How can Calista take care of the babies if she can't even care for herself?"

"She could talk to me."

"She doesn't even know what's wrong with her, probably feels guilty for feeling the way she does, isolated from the rest of you because all you've done is coo over the babies. She went through a hell of a lot and now she's being forgotten about. At least, that's how she feels."

"Well what am I supposed to do? Huh? I've tried! I've tried again and again and nothing seems to be helping."

"Corner her. Force her to admit what she feels, break her down and then she can heal. You need to eradicate the poison of Daniel Holtz from her mind, you need to convince her that love isn't sinful, that feeling carnal desire isn't wrong. If you can save her from all that, she'll get better. She wants to love the babies, and feels worse because she can't."

"How'd you know about this?"

"Well, I always loved children. Calida couldn't have any though, so I became a little obsessed with other children. Not in a creepy way, just a fascination for how do these creatures, these perfect beautiful creatures, come from tiny cells of our bodies, and... how are children so wonderful when adults can be so rotten? Stuff like that. With the ability to watch everything, I watched parents and children, learned about them. Post Partum can be a frightening thing."

"How?"

"The mother's get so paranoid that they might kill themselves and their children because they can't handle all the supposed dangers out there."

"Oh God!" Connor jumped to his feet. Connacht did the same,

"Hey, chill. Not gonna happen. Your dad won't let it. Trust me."

"You sure?"

"Completely."

Connor crouched down again, staring at the ground. "I hope Buffy's plan works."

Connacht nodded, "It will. Trust me. It will. As long as you're there to help Willow."

"It won't be enough though, will it?"

"No. But don't worry." Connacht bent over and whispered in Connor's ear. "The Guardians weren't the only ones with surprises up their sleeves."

When Connor looked up, Connacht was gone. Connor stared at the spot he'd been standing in for a few moments, then stood up and went inside.

* * *

Buffy sat in Dawn's room, watching her sister sleep. She looked very innocent, so pure and gentle. Buffy stiffened and then looked to see Spike staring at her. There was a look in her eyes that reminded her too much of last year, when Spike had tried to...

"What?" she asked in a sharp tone.

"Angel wears lifts you know."

"Really? Fascinating. Go away."

Spike's eyes widened. "So that's it. Angel comes along and you forget everything we had?"

"No. I'll never forget it, but if you're going to act like a twelve year old about it then I'm not gonna listen."

"Why him? Just tell me why."

Buffy stood up and walked out of Dawn's room, shutting the door and walking down the stairs. When she reached the dining room she turned around.

"Angel's... I just... it's Angel."

"That's all you can say? What about me?"

"Spike... look. You're in my heart. But we will never have what Angel and I have. I'm sorry for what this is doing to you, but I still need you. I still need you here, with us, with me. You're one of our strongest fighters and I need you for support."

"I got my soul for you, and Angel still wins."

"It's not just about a soul, I mean, Angel and I will never be able to be truly happy together, not as long as the curse-"

"You mean he didn't tell you?"

"Tell me what?"

"He's gonna try to get his soul made permanent. You didn't know?"

Buffy stared at Spike for a moment then closed her mouth and shook her head. Spike hung his head, as if he had just been defeated.

"You were still gonna be with him even with the risk of the curse?"

"Yeah. What I feel for Angel makes me willing to put up with that."

"Bloody hell... I thought he'd told you when he popped the question."

"How'd you know... we haven't told anyone yet."

"I spotted you two celebrating, plus I'd known before 'cause I stole the ring to annoy Captain Forehead and then mini-pouf suggested big-pouf get his soul made permanent."

"It was Connor's idea?"

"Yeah. Seems the kid really is as smart as Darla. Just suggested it like it was the most obvious thing in the world."

Buffy sat down. The idea seemed so simple. Why'd she never even considered it?

Spike looked around the room, seemingly trying to control himself, "God, I don't know what to do. I love you Buffy, but you'll never love me like you love Peaches."

"No Spike, I won't. I'm sorry."

"So what am I supposed to do now?"

"I dunno. What will any of us do after tomorrow, provided we live?"

"I think I'll go abroad, maybe go back to Rome. Maybe pick a fight with the Immortal."

"The whonow?"

"Never mind." Spike shook his head. "I need to think."

"No. You need to rest. We all do. Tomorrow... tomorrow we'll either change the world or die. Either way, it's best to be well rested."

"Yeah... rested." Spike sighed and turned away. "I'll always be there for you Slayer. No matter what. Just... do me a favour."

"What?"

"Don't invite me to the wedding. I couldn't bear watching Peaches going up the aisle in that pretty white dress."

Buffy's eyes widened at the thought. "Oy that's disturbing in so many ways."

Spike snorted, "He never looked good in a dress."

"I don't even want to know."

* * *

Next chapter coming soon.

Night's Darkness.


	32. The Slayers

6 more chapters left to go

Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 32 **

The bus was silent as they drove to Sunnydale High. The Potentials were recalling Buffy's words yesterday.

"_I hate this. I hate being here. I hate that you have to be here. I hate that there's evil, and that I was chosen to fight it. I wish, a whole lot of the time, that I hadn't been. I know a lot of you wish I hadn't been either. But this isn't about wishes. This is about choices. I believe we can beat this evil. Not when it comes, not when its army is ready, now. Tomorrow morning I'm opening the seal. I'm going down into the hellmouth, and I'm finishing this once and for all. Right now you're asking yourself, "what makes this different? What makes us anything more than a bunch of girls being picked off one by one?" It's true none of you have the power that Faith and I do. So here's the part where you make a choice…"_

"We're here." said Spike quietly, as Robin pulled up and turned the engine off. Sunnydale High looked like any normal high school, misleadingly inviting. It was a place of both delight and angst, friendship and woe. It was high school.

They all walked out of the bus and into the school.

"Welcome to Sunnydale High. There's no running in the halls, no yelling, no gum chewing. Apart from that, there's only one rule. If they move, kill them."

Connor grinned, lifting his axe. "Loving that rule. The only one I've ever liked in my life."

Buffy threw her son a scolding look and he gave her a cheeky one. Buffy shook her head, apparently there was a little of Spike in Connor too.

"Ok. Potentials to the basement, follow Faith and Spike."

"If you have to go to the bathroom, it's to your left. If you don't have to go to the bathroom, picture what you're about to face. Better to go now." said Xander. Connor smirked at the look Vi and Amanda shared.

"Willow, my office is through there." said Robin, pointing.

"It's right over the seal."

"I'll go set you up." said Connor, "Bu- Mom? I'll see you in a bit. Bet I can get more Turkey-Hams than you."

"You're on Con." smiled Buffy, wanting to hug the son she'd only just found, but he was gone with Willow's bag before she could make a move.

Robin turned to the group, taking charge, which both irked and pleased Buffy, since Buffy was glad to see that the ex-principal had taken everything in his stride, but annoyed that he was trying to do her job.

"OK, civilians. The vampires get upstairs, we have 3 areas they could get through to another building and then down into the sewers. Down the hall in the atrium, the north hall here, and the primary target, through the lounge straight to the science building. Now odds are, most of them will head there."

"Then teams of two I suggest." said Giles, "I suggest you and I take the lounge."

"I concur." said Robin, walking away to set up.

"Xander I want you with Dawn." said Buffy.

"I concur." said Xander, smiling at Dawn.

"We'll check out the atrium." decided Dawn.

Anya sighed, "So that leaves me and the dungeon master in the north hall?"

"We will defend it with our very lives." said Andrew solemnly.

"Yes, we will defend it with his very life." Anya rolled her eyes at the geek.

"And don't be afraid to use him as a human shield." advised Xander, looking hard at Anya. Anya met his look and nodded,

"Good, yes, thanks."

"I just want to say how proud I am to die for this very special cause with you guys." Andrew took a piece of paper out of his pocket, "There's some, um—there's people I'd like to thank, both good and evil. Um, a shout out to my brother Tucker, who gave me the inspiration to summon demons and also-"

Anya yanked him by the arm, cutting him off. "Nobody cares, you little monkey."

"I'm gonna check out our field of engagement." said Dawn, walking away.

Buffy chased after her, "Dawn..."

Dawn turned to face her, looking resolute, "No. Anything you say is gonna sound like good-bye." The young woman walked away without looking back. Buffy felt both terrified and proud of her.

Buffy turned around and faced Willow, Xander and Giles. The original four Scoobies. Even before Cordy and Angel had joined, long before Faith and Dawn and Spike, it had been them. Them against the hellmouth. Now they would be facing it one last time, for better or worse. Buffy looked at each of them.

"So, what do you guys want to do tomorrow?"

"Nothing strenuous." said Willow, smiling.

"Well, mini-golf is always the first thing that comes to mind." shrugged Xander.

Giles shook his head, "I think we can do better than that."

Buffy shrugged, "I was thinking about shopping. As per usual."

"Oh! There's an Arden B. in the new mall! I promised Cordy I'd get her that top I have in her size."

Xander nodded, "I could use a few items."

"Well, now aren't we gonna discuss this? Save the world to go to the mall?"

"I'm having a wicked shoe craving." said Buffy, smiling.

"Aren't you on the patch?"

Willow shook her head, "Those never work."

Giles looked up to the ceiling, "Here I am, invisible to the eye..."

Xander, Willow, and Buffy walked down the hall together away from Giles.

"See I was thinking, I could do with a new look, 'cause, odds are, we won't be living in Sunnydale after this. So... why not a new look for a new life?"

"Oh! You could go for that Orlando Bloom look. Sweetie pie with a hint of sexiness."

"And he wears brightly coloured socks, so you could have fun with that." said Willow.

Giles turned away, smiling and shaking his head, "The earth is definitely doomed." He walked away to join Robin.

Buffy, Xander and Willow walked down the hall together in silence. When they passed the Principal's office, Willow stepped in with a brief glance at her best friends. It was clear she was wondering if she'd see them again. Xander and Buffy continued walking. When they passed a corridor, Xander grabbed Buffy's hand and squeezed it before walking away down the corridor. Buffy walked on down the hall by herself.

The Potentials and Faith were waiting for her, circling the Seal. Spike was hovering in the background, waiting. Faith handed her a dagger.

"You first B."

* * *

Willow made sure the candles were in place in front of her. Connor finished lighting the ones around the room and then sat down in front of her, crossing his legs like she was. Willow had to admit, Connor looked like he was there for a heroin shoot up, not a huge world altering spell. His jeans were torn, messy and his shirt hung off his skeletal frame. Then again, were the two things very different? Willow shook her head to clear it of weird thoughts.

"They should be in place." She sat back with her hands on her knees, taking in a deep breath. Her emerald green eyes met Connor's topaz ones. "OK, magic time. You ready to, heh heh, kill me?"

Connor shrugged, looking excited, although that might not have been about killing her. Willow doubted she'd ever be sure about Connor. "Starting to be."

"Good. Fun. Great. Brace yourself."

The redhead held her hands out and Connor took hold of them, closing his eyes. The scythe floated up from the floor into their hands, landing in Willow's, and Connor's wrapped around hers. Willow took in a deep breath to calm her nerves and closed her eyes.

* * *

Buffy's nerves were heightened as she spotted the huge army of Turok-Han spread out beneath her. Seeing it in a vision had not prepared her for seeing in real life.

"I'm not worried." she said for the second time since stepping into the hellmouth. Spike stayed by her side, but the Potentials backed up. "I'm not worried." she repeated.

"Really? 'Cause I'm flashing back to Xander's whole bathroom speech." stammered Rona.

"Buffy!" squeaked Amanda, looking at the blonde slayer. Buffy drew in a deep breath,

"I'm not worried... as long as Willow and Connor can do their spell before they-"

Almost as one the Turok-Han turned their heads to look a them. Buffy gulped, "-see us." The Turoks charged at them. Buffy stood her ground, whispering under her breath. "Willow? Connor?"

* * *

Upstairs Connor and Willow were concentrating, focusing on the scythe. The scythe began to glow and Connor's eyes snapped open and locked with Willow's. His mouth fell open in shock as he felt the power coursing through him into Willow. Willow's eyes widened, as she felt something utterly blissful spread through her.

"Oh... my... Goddess!"

* * *

"_So here's the part where you make a choice: What if you could have that power...now? In every generation, one slayer is born... because a bunch of men who died thousands of years ago made up that rule. They were powerful men. This woman-" Buffy pointed to Willow "-is more powerful than all of them combined." Willow whimpered. "So I say we change the rule. I say my power...__...should be our power. _

"_Tomorrow, Willow will use the essence of the scythe to change our destiny. _

"_From now on, every girl in the world who might be a slayer... will be a slayer. _

"_Every girl who could have the power... will have the power... _

"_Can stand up, will stand up. _

"

* * *

Buffy felt it. She could actually feel her strength and power spreading out over the world, through the girls at her side. And in turn that gave her strength. She grinned, proud of Connor and Willow.

Amanda smirked, eyeing the Turok-Han "These guys are dust."

* * *

Connor gaped at Willow as he watched her feed off his energy, using her own. Her hair had gone completely white and she was glowing with the scythe. Her face told of nothing but pure, beautiful ecstasy and her chest heaved with effort as she sent forth the power of the scythe, the true, pure power of the Slayer into every Potential in the world.

The scythe's glow faded and so did Willow's and she fell forward. Connor caught her in his arms and held her while she shook. When Willow straightened up Connor stared at her in awe.

"Willow... you are a Goddess."

Willow grinned, "And you're not grounded." She held out the scythe. "Get this to Buffy."

Connor nodded and snatched the scythe into his hands, bolting off to the hellmouth. Willow fell to the side, giggling to herself, "That was nifty."

Connor ran down the steps into the hellmouth where it was complete pandemonium. The Potentials were whaling on the Turoks, dusting them with great efficiency. He overheard Kennedy say,

"I could get used to this."

"Buffy!" Connor shouted, "Catch!" He threw the scythe into the air.

Buffy whipped around and caught the scythe without blinking and resumed dusting the Turoks. Connor grinned like a devil and jumped into the foray, dusting Turoks with great speed.

"Now this is more like it!" he cheered.

"Buffy!" shouted Faith, sounding alarmed. Connor spun around to see Buffy fall to the ground. Faith ran to her and Buffy said something, handing the scythe to Faith. The dark Slayer nodded and resumed fighting, with even more aggression. Connor pushed through the Turoks and reached his soul-mother.

"Mom!"

"Connor, hold the line." Buffy ordered, glaring up at him. Connor glared back, then said,

"I'm not leaving you."

"Hold the line."

"But-" Connor was cut off by three Turoks tackling him and sending him flying.

"Oh no!"

Buffy looked up to see her own reflection standing above her, looking at the wound in her stomach. The reflection pouted,

"Ow! Mommy, this mortal wound is all...itchy." It smirked and crouched down in front of her, "You pulled a nice trick. You came pretty close to smacking me down. What more do you want?"

Buffy gritted her teeth, "I want you... to get out of my face." She got to her feet. Rona threw her the scythe and she resumed fighting.

Connor breathed a sigh of relief as he saw that Buffy was back. Then he jumped when he spun around to come nose to nose with Connacht. Connacht grinned, baring his teeth.

"SURPRISE!"

"What the hell are you doing?"

"This thing is the thing that killed my people. It's been the literal pain in every fighter for good's ass for forever. Well, now we're gonna kick its ass! Get your Slayers out of here as fast as you can. It's our turn. You've done enough." Connacht dived into the ground and vanished. Connor snarled as he ducked another Turok attack and pushed his way to Buffy.

"Buffy!"

"What?"

"We need to get out of here."

"What?" Buffy looked at Connor like he was insane.

"Connacht's got one more sur-"

The cave seemed to explode as thousands of glowing spirits came thundering up from the ground, dusting every Turok they came across. Then they began to spin around like they were building up power.

"-prise." finished Connor, impressed.

Buffy felt slack jawed as she stared at it, then blinked in shock as she spotted Connacht grinning at her like an imp before jumping into the fray.

"Everybody out! NOW!" shouted Faith, standing at the bottom of the stairs. The earth began to shake. "Buffy come on!"

Buffy wasn't about to argue. She grabbed Connor's hand and dragged him along, since he seemed to have been immobilised by awe.

Everybody piled into the bus, Anya helping Andrew limp in, while Giles guided a wounded Robin to a seat. Spike sat at the wheel and floored it. The bus flew over the roads.

"Oh my God!" cried Amanda, looking back. Buffy looked and her eyes widened as she saw the ground collapsing just behind them. The whole city was collapsing.

"Spike!"

"I can't make this rust bucket go any faster." snarled Spike. Connor blinked and then flexed his fingers before slamming them down onto the bus floor. A blue glow flew through the bus and it picked up speed. Buffy stared at her son in shock and then horror as Connor's nose began to bleed and blood fell from his ears and mouth. He was doing too much after all that power he'd given Willow.

"Connor stop!" she cried, reaching out to him.

"No! I won't let you die. Not now."

"It's killing you."

"I can do it. Just a few minutes more..." Connor was wavering. Spike looked out the windscreen and then back at Connor,

"C'mon mini-pouf, just a minute more."

"Ugh." Connor moaned, but the blue light stayed strong.

"We're clear!" shouted Spike. Buffy grabbed Connor and pulled his hands from the floor. Connor instantly collapsed, his head lolling into her lap. Buffy cradled him as she checked his pulse. It was there but it was racing. Buffy brushed some hair out of his face with motherly tenderness, feeling proud of him. The bus came to a stop.

"Is he ok?" asked Dawn, looking worried.

"I think so, he's just tired."

"He's not the only one." Xander nodded to a shaking Willow, who he'd carried onto the bus.

"I don't understand. What did this?" asked Giles.

"Connacht. His people, what was left of them. They did it."

"They shut down the hellmouth. And Sunnydale it seems."

They opened the doors and emerged into the sun, Buffy putting her jacket under Connor's head first, staring hard at the crater that was once Sunnydale. The sign, "Welcome to Sunnydale" teetered for a few moments before collapsing into the crater.

"Looks like the hellmouth is officially closed for business." sighed Faith, looking at the mess.

"There is another one in Cleveland. Not to spoil the moment." Giles bent to pick up a rock and threw it into the canyon.

"We saved the world." sighed Xander, putting an arm around Anya, who leaned against him.

"We changed the world." said Willow, walking up to Buffy's side "I can feel them, Buffy. All over. Slayers are awakening everywhere."

"We'll have to find them."

"We will."

"Yes, because the mall was actually in Sunnydale, so there's no hope of going there tomorrow."

Dawn's eyes widened, "We destroyed the mall? I fought on the wrong side."

Xander shook his head, kissing the top of Anya's, "All those shops gone. The Gap, Starbucks, Toys "R" Us. Who will remember all those landmarks unless we tell the world about them?"

Giles polished his glasses, "We have a lot of work ahead of us."

Faith narrowed her eyes at Giles and then looked at Willow, "Can I push him in?"

Willow grinned, "You've got my vote." Giles looked affronted.

"I just want to sleep, yo, for like a week." Faith stretched luxuriously.

"I guess we all could, if we wanted to." Dawn shrugged.

"Yeah. The First is scrunched, so... what do you think we should do, Buffy?"

"Yeah, you're not the one and only chosen anymore. Just gotta live like a person. How's that feel?"

"Yeah, Buffy. What are we gonna do now?"

Buffy stared at the crater and then smiled,

"L.A. We're going to L.A. I've got a wedding to plan."

"WHAT!"

* * *

The trip back to L.A. was slow but not in an unbearable way. Buffy had used the time to explain Angel's impromptu proposal, and select bridesmaids. Connor hadn't woken up yet and now the blonde slayer was worried he wouldn't. Willow had passed out when the bus had started limping along, as had many of the newly formed Slayers. Kennedy was awake, running her fingers through her girlfriend's red tresses, smiling at her sleeping face.

Buffy was sitting beside Connor, watching his face, looking for the slightest flicker of awakening, but saw none. Connor looked so innocent in sleep, so young. Buffy reached out and stroked his hair, smiling as she felt a rush of warmth go through her heart. Her son. She was staring at her son. Her beautiful, powerful, gentle at heart son who wanted nothing but love from those around him. All at once Buffy felt tears in her eyes as she recalled her treatment of him. She'd been so cruel, never even given him a chance. And yet he still called her mom. Buffy felt like she didn't deserve such a title. She made up her mind, then and there, to become worthy of the title of mom from Connor. As for being a grandmother... well, she could be one of those hip young grandmother's who always knew the latest fashion trend.

"He'll be fine slayer." said Spike, fiddling with a box of cigarettes but not lighting up as he shuffled up the aisle of the bus. "He's got a bunch of fast healers in his gene pool. He'll be fine." Spike's eyes wandered over Connor, as if he was trying to figure out a puzzle.

"Yeah. I guess. I still can't believe what Connacht did. They gave up their existence for us. I mean... I don't think there's anything left of them." Buffy sighed.

"Price worth paying I guess. It saved the world. That's worth any price." Spike shrugged. Buffy said nothing, only rested her head against Connor's bony shoulder, willing him to wake up. "We'll be at the hotel in an hour."

"Thank you Spike. For everything."

"Hm, you're welcome Slayer." Spike walked away and sat down beside Dawn, who rested her head on his shoulder and cuddled up against him, dozing off. Spike looked down at her and smiled with a sweet tenderness, putting his arm around her and holding her close. Buffy smiled, then it faltered as she wondered how Dawn would react to the idea of Spike leaving them. She could only hope something kept Spike around.

"I never thought I'd be happy to see Deadboy's hotel but God help me I am." said Xander with relief as they pulled up outside the Hyperion.

"Proper beds again!" Anya cheered, pulling Xander out of the bus and towards the hotel. The Potentials stirred and followed them. Giles and Faith helped Robin, who'd been badly wounded, but had held on so far, out of the vehicle. Spike carried a sleeping Dawn out and soon it was just Buffy and Connor left in the bus. Buffy picked up the scythe and admired it for a moment before looking at Connor. Reaching out, Buffy shook Connor's shoulder,

"Connor, c'mon, time to wake up. We're here."

Connor twitched and pried his eyes open, looking like he'd rather sleep for another hundred years.

"Buffy?" he murmured.

Buffy's mouth fell open in shock that he'd actually woken up and then hugged him tight.

"Oh God, Connor, you're finally awake!" Buffy hugged him, relived beyond words.

"We made it?"

"Yeah, thanks to Connacht and you and Willow."

"No... Connacht. Oh God!" Connor looked mournful, and seemed to be begging Buffy to tell him it wasn't true. Buffy gave him a sympathetic look. Connor burst into tears, curling up into a tight ball. Buffy rubbed his back and shoulders, not knowing what to say. She couldn't imagine what he was feeling, mostly because she didn't know how he'd felt about Connacht and his people. A close kinship, a sense of belonging? Maybe one day Connor would trust her enough to tell her.

"Come on Connor. We're home now."

"Home?"

"Yeah, we're at the Hyperion."

"Oh... ok." Connor wiped at his face, making it blotchy and he stood up, albeit very shakily. Together he and Buffy walked into the hotel. Angel came forward at once and bear hugged them to his chest.

"Oh thank God you're alive! I was so worried I... Connor, are you ok?"

"I'll be fine." Connor looked away, trying to hide his red-rimmed eyes, "Where's Calista? I'd have thought she'd be ok now."

"Why?"

"Because we figured out it was the scythe that made her sick, but now that Potential is gone so... it's complicated. Is she still upstairs?"

"Ah... oh... um..." Angel stepped back, looking very uncomfortable. "Calista's... erm... well..."

"Dad." Connor's eyes were very narrow, "Where is she?"

"We don't know where she is."

"What?"

"We went to check on her and... well... she wasn't there. We've looked, I tried to get her scent but there was nothing that didn't lead me around and around. She's gone Connor."

* * *

More soon

Night's Darkness


	33. Broken

5 more chapters left to go! Squee!

Thanks to reviewers.

* * *

**Chapter 33**

Connor stared at Angel, feeling sick as he repeated the words in his head.

'_She's gone Connor.'_

"Where'd she go Dad?"

Angel looked helpless as he shrugged, looking to Buffy for some sort of assistance. Buffy looked torn, not knowing what to do. She was too tired to think.

"Connor!" Cordy came over to them, Liam in her arms. "Are you ok?"

"I just found out my mate is missing, the only remainder of my own kind just sacrificed themselves to save the world, I'm exhausted from sharing my power with Willow, Buffy's my mom, Dawn's my aunt and I think I'm going to faint but other than that I'm just great!" snarled Connor, looking murderous.

Angel and Cordy stared at him, open-mouthed.

"What?"

"It's a long story that can be saved for tomorrow, you know, when we've slept."

"I have to go find Calista... I can't sleep, damnit!" Connor threw his axe away, embedding it in the wall. "Why does she keep doing this to me?" Tears leaked out of Connor's eyes.

"I don't know Connor. I wish I did, 'cause then maybe we could stop her." said Cordy.

"I need to find her."

"No. You need sleep. I'll go out again and look for her. Should be easier now that I don't have to slink in and out of the shadows." Angel nodded to the setting son. "We did a locator spell too, but no joy."

"It wouldn't work on either of us. We're too connected to the earth, so it'd be like trying to find grass on the earth. It's everywhere."

"That explains that." Angel shook his head and put his hand on Connor's shoulder. Connor looked at him with weary eyes. "I won't stop until I've found her, or the sun comes up, then I'll try to find her through the sewers."

"I'm a better tracker than you Dad."

"How are you so good Connor? When did you realise you could track?" asked Buffy. Connor shrugged,

"I don't know. Five, six. We didn't exactly celebrate birthdays in Quor-Toth. Holtz made up a game so I could practice."

"What do you mean he'd hide things for you to find?"

"Kind of. He'd tie me to a tree and then run away."

"What?" Buffy, Cordy and Angel stared at Connor with shock on their faces

Connor shrugged, "You know, so I'd have to escape and then find him and Calista. One time it only took me five days."

Angel stammered, horrified, "Five days. He abandoned you... Connor, that's terrible. That's-"

"-why I'm so good at tracking." Connor was unfazed as he took Liam from Cordelia and held him close, looking down at his son. "Hey Liam, did you miss me?"

Liam stared up at his father and grabbed his offered finger. Connor smiled as he felt the strength of the baby. "I'm glad someone missed me."

"We'll find her Connor."

"Yeah. But what'll the point be? She'll just run away again."

"Connor, she's just confused."

"Yeah, she's got... what did he call it? Post... Post something..."

"Post Partum Depression?"

"That's it."

Angel shared a look with Cordy and Buffy, "Are you sure?"

"Connacht told me that was what's wrong with her."

"Then she's sick Connor." said Cordy, looking very worried, "It's not like she's just in a bad mood, she's really sick, and she needs help."

"I'm gonna go look for her. Connor, you get some sleep."

"Ok." Connor sighed, looking too tired to argue. Angel pulled on his coat and walked out. Spike jumped in front of him, cutting him off.

"I'll go with you."

"Don't need your help Spike." grunted Angel, pushing past him.

Spike cut him off again, "Too bloody bad. You've got it."

"Fine, just don't get in my way."

"Fine!"

* * *

"We're going in circles." said Spike, looking around.

"I think she did too." murmured Angel, looking around.

"Whatcha mean Peaches?"

"I mean... think about it. She wakes up from a fever, she's probably still out of it. She sneaks out the window, wanders around for ages, with no idea where's she's going. I wouldn't be surprised if she really did go in circles."

"Ok... so what now?"

"Now... we try to find a break in the circle."

Spike looked around, "Or we could just look in a window and see her."

"What?"

"There she is mate." Spike pointed at a diner on the other side of the road. Calista was inside, in a booth and she wasn't alone.

"Isn't that the photographer? Kevin?" asked Angel, his hackles rising.

"Looks like him." said Spike, hiding a smirk of triumph. Calista, even from this distance, looked pale and tired, but she was smiling at Kevin as he talked animatedly to her, using wild hand gestures as he spoke.

"C'mon." growled Angel.

"Shouldn't we wait for them to leave?"

"No! She's not gonna stay there a minute longer. This isn't right. Connor's worrying about her, and the babies and she's having coffee with some guy she met in a shelter. He was probably just looking for some vulnerable girl to get under the skirt of."

Spike rolled his eyes. "Feeling territorial for our pup are we?"

Angel glared at him as he walked into the diner and went straight to the booth. Neither Kevin nor Calista noticed them until they were standing right in front of them.

"-and he was all like, 'Oy mate! You're after drinkin' my Guinness!' and I said..." Kevin's voice trailed off as he looked up to stare at Angel and Spike. Calista's smile fell at once.

"Angel. Spike. What are you doing here?"

"We could be asking you the same thing Calista." said Angel in a low voice. Kevin narrowed his eyes, not liking Angel's tone. "We went to check on you, and you were gone. You scared the crap out of us! And Connor's been worried sick and when he comes home, after helping Buffy and the others beat the First, he comes home, hoping to find you well and you're gone-"

"And of course it's always about what Connor wants, isn't it." said Calista, her voice low and dark, matching Angel's. Angel sighed,

"Calista, it's not always about Connor, but you're not being fair to him."

"Oh? I'm not being fair to him am I? In what way?"

"This." Angel gestured at Kevin, who narrowed his eyes, "This is your way of trying to get back at Connor, for what happened. It's not fair-"

"It's got nothing to do with Connor! It's got nothing to do with any of you. It's about me." shouted Calista, jumping to her feet. "It's about me having a friend, a real friend. It's about the fact that all of you are isolating me from the real world. You don't care about me. You just care about Connor and the babies."

"We care about you Calista. You just refuse to see that."

"Why should I believe you? None of you have talked to me except to tell me I'm being cruel to Connor and should give him a chance or to talk about the babies, or my power. Never once have any of you tried to talk to me just to talk to me. Kevin does! Kevin just wants to talk to me for me."

Kevin nodded, although he kept silent. Angel was aware that everyone in the diner was watching them.

"Calista, just come back to the hotel. We can talk about this."

"I don't want to talk to you. I want to stay and talk to Kevin. But you won't let me, will you?"

"We're not gonna force you do anything you don't want to pet, but this ain't the best place for a shouting match. People are trying to have a nice meal." Spike reached out and laid a hand on Calista's shoulder. Calista snarled and punched Spike across the face,

"Get away from me demon!"

Spike was knocked to the ground. Angel's eyes were huge and he looked from Spike to Calista. Calista's eyes were huge and she backed away, frightened. Her head snapped from side to side, taking everyone staring at her, then she turned and bolted out of the diner, pushing the door so hard the window smashed.

"Calista!" Kevin ran after her. Calista froze at the sound of his voice. When she turned around, her tears caught the neon lights of the street. "Calista..." Kevin looked at her, confused and worried. Calista sobbed and ran away, her speed far more than anything a human could achieve. Angel chased after her like a shot. Spike hung back and said in a quiet voice to Kevin,

"Don't give up on her kid. Not yet."

"I won't." said Kevin, looking serious.

"Good." Spike clapped him on the shoulder, then ran after Angel, who was already disappearing.

* * *

"Calista! Just stop!" shouted Angel, having trouble keeping up with Calista. Calista was running so fast she was almost flying. Spike suddenly overtook Angel and pushed himself to his limits to catch up with Calista. When he did he jumped in front of her and she crashed right into him. They both tumbled to the ground and Calista shrieked, struggling against Spike's arms wrapped around her. Angel caught up with them and helped Spike to restrain Calista, each of them holding an arm and trying to make her stop.

"Let me go!" shouted Calista, trying to pull free. "Let go of me!"

"Not until you calm down." said Angel.

"Look, pet, you need to calm down. You'll hurt yourself." Spike tried to get through to her. Angel felt like they were playing a weird game of Good Cop, Bad Cop.

"Calista, listen to me." Angel grabbed hold of Calista's face and made her look at him. "You're not well. You're suffering from something called Post Partum Depression. It's got you all messed up."

"Get off me devil." Calista spat in Angel's eye and stamped on Spike's foot. Spike hissed in pain but grabbed Calista's arms, hooking his own around hers and pulling her against his chest. Calista screamed and struggled anew.

"Peaches!" Spike nodded to the left. Angel looked and saw a coil of rope, realising Calista had led them all the way to the port. "She'll have the masses here in a minute."

Angel realised what Spike was suggesting and couldn't believe they were considering it. Spike seemed to read his mind, "It's either that or knock her out."

Angel knew what he had to do.

"Over here, where there's no light."

Calista screamed even louder as Spike dragged her to the shadows. Angel grabbed the rope.

"I'm so sorry Calista." he murmured, before Spike pushed her face down into the ground, so Angel could tie her hands behind her back. It took the two of them to do it properly, because Calista was stronger than your average human, even without all of Connor's training, but soon they had bound her arms tight behind her back, trying to do it so she wouldn't be uncomfortable. Then they bound her legs in the same manner. All this time Calista was screaming into Spike's hand, bucking against them. Angel felt tears in his eyes as he stared down at her, bound like a sacrifice. Then he pulled out a large handkerchief from his pocket, which he carried around with him out of habit more than any real need, and used it to gag the girl. When they were done, they both took a step back.

Calista curled up, looking frightened of them now. Tears were falling down her cheeks again, and soaking her gag. But her eyes were hard, furious, as well as frightened. Spike sighed, "How're we gonna get her back to the hotel?"

* * *

"-so... you two decided it was a good idea to tie her up, gag her and carry her back to the hotel through the sewers?" finished Cordy as she summarised what the vampires had said. They both nodded, not taking their eyes off Calista. The teen was still bound and gagged, curled up at the foot of the stairs. Her eyes were hard and furious, glaring at them all like a dangerous animal. No one had gone near her yet.

"Seemed like the thing to do, at the time." said Angel, sighing. "Should someone wake Connor?"

"You have his girlfriend hogtied in the lobby, I'm thinking yes!" snapped Buffy, narrowing her eyes at her fiancé.

"I'll get him." sighed Cordelia, walking up the stairs, throwing Calista a worried look as she went.

"Lorne, what kind of vibe are you getting from her?" asked Angel, taking him aside.

"Aside from murderous towards you two? A lot of despair, fear, bitterness, all those friendly emotions that make you want to giggle. She's a mess boss." sighed the green demon.

"Will we be able to help her?"

"Honestly? I have no idea."

"Calista!" Connor jumped over the balcony when he saw his mate and rushed to her. Calista snarled at him through her gag and Connor backed up, alarmed, "What the hell? Why is she tied up?"

"We had no choice Connor, she wouldn't listen to us. She'd have just kept running."

"You tied her up!" Connor looked at his father aghast.

"We weren't given an option. She wouldn't listen, and she wouldn't calm down. If she's really got Post Partum, then we had to bring her somewhere safe before we tried to help her."

"Well does she need to be gagged?"

"No... although she might not be in the mood for being nice."

"I don't care." Connor crouched down and undid the gag, pulling it away from Calista's red lips, "Cal... are you ok?"

"Get away from me!" Calista screamed in his face. Connor fell back, shocked. Calista struggled against her bonds. Blood trickled down her hands.

"Calista stop." said Buffy, "You'll hurt yourself."

"Like you've hurt me?" hissed Calista.

"We've never tried to hurt you Calista."

"Oh no? I trusted you! I thought you'd be... I don't even know what I expected from you, but certainly not this."

"What?"

"You just don't get do you? All you care about is him-" She jerked her head at Connor, "-and those two leeches upstairs."

"Leeches?" Connor's face became heartbroken. Calista looked away, glaring at the floor. "You think of the babies... as leeches?"

"They're parasites! They fed off me for nine months and they're still feeding off me now. And when they're done with me you'll all just forget I exist. Unless of course you need Creation to grow your plants for you... but none of you will care about me."

"That's not true Calista." said Buffy, feeling appalled at Calista's words.

Calista rested her brow against the banister, closing her eyes, "Isn't it? You only let me stay here because I had the power to stop the Power. You only continued to let me stay because I was carrying Connor's children. Once they were born... I was forgotten about, unless it was feeding time, or one of you felt the need to tell me to be kinder to Connor. None of you ever talked to me, for me."

"Calista..." Buffy sat down beside her. Calista shifted away, hissing. "We thought you wanted to be left alone. We thought if we gave you time on your own, you'd be able to figure out how you felt."

"How can I figure out what I feel, when I've never been given a chance to feel for myself? My whole life I was told what to feel, how to think, and then suddenly I had nothing. I don't know how to feel for myself, or think. And I'm just... I'm just so tired."

Angel stepped closer and crouched down so he was looking straight at Calista's face. "Calista, we think you might be suffering from Post Partum Depression."

"You said that before. What is it?"

"It's something that can happen to women who've just had babies. They can feel tired, but they can't sleep, they feel useless, and they feel ignored. They feel lost and they struggle to feel anything good, even love for their children. And they feel guilty for not feeling that."

Calista opened her eyes and looked at Angel, tears in her sapphire orbs. Angel reached out and used one gentle finger to move a lock of hair out of her face. "No one here blames you for feeling this way. No one thinks it's your fault, because it isn't."

"They're my feelings. How can it not be my fault?"

"Because it's like when you get sick. When you have a fever, it's not your fault. This is like that. You couldn't have stopped it, it's out of your control. But now we can help you. Let us help you Calista."

Calista looked up at Connor, who was staring at her pleadingly. She closed her eyes again and sighed.

"I'm so tired."

"I know, but-"

Calista's hands snapped out and she punched Angel in the nose, sending him flying back. Then she spun around in a crouch and kicked Buffy in the face, knocking her over. Jumping to her feet, she ran out the door. Connor chased after her.

"Connor!"

"Stay here. I'll get her."

"I thought... I thought I was getting through to her." whispered Angel, feeling defeated as Connor disappeared.

"You did chief. That's why she ran." sighed Lorne, pouring himself another Sea Breeze.

* * *

More soon

Night's Darkness


	34. Release

4 chapters left! OMG!

Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 34**

Connor had new respect for Calista's speed as he chased her. How many times would he have to chase her before she stopped running from him?

The smell of salt and sand reached his nose and he realised she'd brought him to the beach. To his shock, as she slowed down, he realised that this was the same place he'd fought Angel, and sunk him to the bottom of the ocean. The difference was that the tide was in and Calista wasn't stopping as she came to edge of the cliff.

"Calista don't!"

Calista paused and turned to look at him. She looked hopeless, empty. Connor felt panicked as he reached out for her, stopping a few feet away from her. "Calista, please. Don't do it."

"I just can't Connor. I'm too tired. I'm too weak."

"Calista don't. You can handle this."

"I can't." Calista sobbed, looking up at the stars. "He was right. He's always right." She started screaming to the sky, "You hear me! You were right! You were right, I am weak, I am stupid! I am useless."

"No, he lied to us. To both of us. He was as pathetic as the men who made the Slayer."

"What?"

"Oh... right. You weren't there for –look, it doesn't matter. Calista come away from the edge."

"No! This is the only thing I'll ever do that won't have been in control of someone else."

"Calista, if you jump I'll follow you."

"You can't swim Connor."

"I'll still follow you. I'll follow you wherever you go, making sure you never leave my sight, because I don't have a hope without you. You're my hope."

"I'm just the girl who was stupid enough to let you-"

"No! You're more, you're so much more than that. And even if you were, I wouldn't care. I would love you anyway."

"Stop! Stop saying that!" Calista tore at her hair.

"I won't. I'll never stop saying it. I'll never stop loving you. I can't. You're a part of me. So if you jump, I'll jump."

"The babies deserve you Connor, they deserve a good parent. I can't even look at them."

"The babies don't want just anyone, they want you. They love you. They love you without condition, they want nothing from you. It doesn't matter to them where their food comes from, or who changes their nappies, they just want you to be with them. I want you to be with me."

"I can't. I don't know what I feel for you anymore and, and Kevin –I –I…"

"Do you love him?" asked Connor, praying for the answer to be no.

"I don't know! I don't know what love feels like."

"I do. It's what I feel when you smile at me, and I'm not just saying that, I mean it!"

"What do you feel?"

"I feel happy, I feel content, I feel joy… I feel like there's nothing else on the world that matters but that smile and keeping it directed at me."

"I've never felt anything like that."

"So… I'll help you feel it."

"I don't think I can. I'm dead inside Connor."

"No, you're not. Neither of us is dead."

"I'm sorry Stephen." Calista whispered, backing up to the edge, until she was teetering on her toes.

"If you jump I'll jump because I need you! Without you I'll be dead inside too. So I'll jump." shouted Connor. Calista let out a sob.

"Stephen… I'm sorry, I'm just not strong enough."

"If you do this, then you're right. You're not strong enough. But I know you're stronger, you're better than this!"

Calista met his eyes, hers serious. "No. I'm not." And she threw herself back.

"CALISTA!" Connor leapt after her, doing an incredible vertical leap, managing to grab her about the waist as they plummeted into the freezing water.

Calista struggled against Connor as the rough waves buffeted them around, but Connor held tight. He would never let her go!

They both sank under the water, and Connor coughed as he swallowed a mouthful of sea water. Calista's chest heaved against his and Connor saw her struggling too, although he wasn't sure what she was doing. Then, in the back of his mind, he heard his own voice, but with a very different attitude, saying

"_Because you're Destruction's connection to the world, you kinda, can't die anymore."_

Connacht had told him that, very clearly. And Connor knew this was futile. Calista was Creation. She couldn't die any more than he could. This gave Connor fresh energy and he kicked through the water, letting the current pull them towards the beach. Calista struggled all the more, but Connor held her tight, refusing to let go.

Coughing and spluttering Connor dragged them both onto the shore, dropping Calista onto the sand and hovering above her as he caught his breath, his whole body heaving. Then he sat back, leaned to the side and threw up. Calista sobbed as she lay on her back, soaking wet, and shaking. Connor stared down at her, taking in how pathetic she looked and his exhaustion and his frustration took its toll on him.

"You stupid woman!" he snarled, grabbing her by the hair, "You think you can just run away from your responsibilities?"

Calista whimpered and stared up at Connor with fright. It was the look she'd always given Daniel, the look Connor had never wanted directed at him. But right now he was too angry to care. "You selfish bitch! You were just gonna try to leave me? Leave our babies? Do you know how much pain you would have caused? How many people would be hurt because you were too much of a coward to face the truth? Do You!"

"You're hurting me Connor!"

"Well, maybe you need to be hurt, because it seems to be the only thing you understand."

"And causing it is all you understand."

"At least I'll admit it." hissed Connor, bringing his face close to hers. Calista stared up at him and she narrowed her eyes, the sapphire flashing.

"Admit it? You enjoy it! You enjoy causing pain."

"I don't. I never did."

"You liar!"

"Shut up!" Connor screamed. His hand reached up and he grabbed her blouse, ripping it open. Calista shrieked. Connor made her shut up by kissing her hard, demanding entrance into her mouth. Calista struggled underneath him, her mouth opening for his tongue to force its way in. Calista ripped Connor's T-shirt, like he'd done to her blouse, exposing his chest to the night air. Then she bit Connor's tongue.

"Ah!" Connor snarled and pushed her skirt up to her hips, pulling her underwear to her knees. Calista growled up at him and bit down on his collarbone, drawing blood. Her hands forced open his jeans and she pushed them down.

Connor didn't stop to think, he didn't care if he bruised her skin, he didn't care if he made her bleed, because he knew the whole time, that she wasn't afraid of him. She was just as angry as him and bruising him, and bleeding him just as much. They pulled at each other's hair, biting and scratching at porcelain skin, growling and snarling at each other. Then, as Connor bit down on Calista's neck, his movements rough and hard, shaking her each time, Calista grabbed hold of his head, digging her nails into his scalp and she screeched like a banshee. Connor let out a shout and crashed his hips against hers, biting down hard on her neck.

It was all over in a flash and Connor collapsed on top of Calista, panting. Calista's chest was heaving under his, as she lay like a limp doll underneath him. Her hands rested on either side of her head. Connor's mind reeled as he realised what he'd just done. He propped himself up on one shaky arm and, meek as a child who'd been caught with their hand in the cookie jar, pulled up Calista's underwear again, as if he was trying to hide what he'd just done. Calista didn't move, just stared up at the sky. Then Connor shifted his weight and he lay down next to her, his face close to hers.

"Cal..."

"Don't say anything." she murmured, her fingers twitching against his cheek. "Just don't."

Connor sighed and rested his head on his hand, watching her. Calista's eyes scanned the sky, then closed, her long eyelashes resting against her porcelain cheek. When she opened them again they were clearer. She turned her head to Connor.

"Connor... I think we both needed that."

"You do?"

"Yes. We needed to... release our frustrations." Calista sighed, "I'm tired of feeling empty. I'm tired of being scared. But... what we just did... made me realise that I'm not ready to die."

"Good. 'cause I wouldn't let you."

"I know that now. Connor... I want to be a good mother... but I need help." Calista's voice broke as she spoke those last words. Connor reached out and, in complete contrast to what they'd done before, he stroked her cheek with delicate fingers.

"I'll help you. So will the others. We all want to help you."

"I think I get that now."

"You ready to go back?"

"No... not yet. I just want to stay here with you, for a little while."

"Ok, that's fine."

"You might need to carry me. I'm not sure I can move after what we just did."

Connor flushed, "Sorry."

Calista gave him a tiny smile, but a real smile, "Don't be."

Connor beamed at her and kissed the tip of her nose. Calista stroked his cheek, sighing, "It won't be easy Connor, but I'm gonna try."

"I'll be with you. Trying too."

"When did you get so good with words?"

"My dad's got an influence and I've got his blood. It works out."

Calista's smile widened a fraction.

* * *

"They've been gone hours! Anything could have happened." Angel was pacing, frantic. Buffy was half asleep, but trying to stay awake and do that supportive thing fiancés were supposed to do.

"Angel, I'm sure they're fine." said Wesley, bouncing the baby girl in his arms, trying to get her to nod off. The babies had started wailing about an hour ago and they refused to stop. "Maybe they just needed to talk."

"Or maybe they went for a swim." said Lorne, gesturing at the door. Connor and Calista came inside, both soaking wet. Angel's nose told him it was seawater. What had they been doing there? Then he became aware of another scent, almost overpowered by the smell of the sea. The smell of sex. Angel's eyebrows climbed up his high forehead. That scent was definitely not what he'd expected.

Connor was carrying Calista on his back, but she was awake, and her eyes seemed a little brighter, if tired.

"What the hell happened to you two?" asked Gunn, noticing that Connor's shirt was ripped wide open, exposing his white skin, and the sand all over their clothes. "You run into a seamonster?"

"No, just… talked." said Connor, looking nonchalant as he carried Calista down to the couch, setting her down. Calista grabbed hold of his hand and pulled him to sit beside her. Spike raised an eyebrow.

"Uh huh, was that before or after the s-"

"Swim! Before or after the swim." said Lorne out of nowhere, cutting Spike off.

"After." said Calista, looking down at the ground. Spike growled. Connor yawned.

"You two need sleep."

"No… I need… I need help." Calista looked up, her voice catching in her throat. "I need help."

"You'll get it Calista. Lorne, what do you think is best?"

"Me? Well… I'm gonna go scour my contacts for the best psychologist, with a PhD in demons for our sweetness here. That'll be a start."

"A demon shrink?"

"I don't want a demon doctor!"

"I'll make that clear. I just meant someone who knows the real deal, that way they won't have you sectioned the minute you let out the truth."

Connor grunted and put a possessive arm around Calista. Calista glanced at him with some warmth in her eyes. This made Angel smile.

"Sleep, both of you."

The two teens nodded and Connor picked Calista up and carried her upstairs. When they were gone, Lorne whack Spike on the arm.

"You, Blond-bear, need a serious attitude adjustment."

"You saw the way she wouldn't look at us? Little ponce probably-"

"Made her wake up and smell the decaying roses." said Lorne, looking irritated, "My empathic abilities are telling me it was totally consensual and you have some serious issues. Want me to find you a psychologist too?"

"Oh God please do." said Angel, smirking.

"Buggar off Peaches." snapped Spike. Buffy sighed, too tired to deal with this crap.

"Enough! Spike, either shut up or get out of the hotel. We have enough to deal with without you bitching to everyone because of some jealousy issue." snarled Cordelia.

Spike glared at the furious part-demon, but if Angel wasn't mistaken, he could see a hint of respect in the vampire's eyes. And when Spike really respected a woman… next thing you knew he would be falling for her.

'_Oh boy.'_

* * *

Hehe, poor Angel.

Night's Darkness


	35. Therapy

3 chapters left, so close!

Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 35**

"You ready?"

"I think so."

"Ok. Just relax. There's no hurry."

Connor placed Liam in Calista's arms, and she held him, staring down into his face. Liam stared back, his little eyes open wide with wonder. His eyes were dark blue and he had almost translucent hair on his head. He was very small, lost in all the blankets he was wrapped in. Calista smiled a little as she stared down at him. Then the smile fell and she looked away. Connor sat beside her and ran his fingers through her hair,

"Ok, it's ok. Just, just remember, we have a bottle on hand if you really don't want to do this. No one will force you to nurse."

Calista swallowed and nodded, taking a deep breath. Then she undid her blouse and let Liam suckle. After a few moments she relaxed a little.

"It doesn't hurt anymore." she murmured, smiling. Connor grinned and kissed her shoulder. "I was thinking about names."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. For him I –what?" Connor had pulled a face.

"I kinda named him already."

"You did?"

"Yeah, I just, I wanted to give them names, I mean they deserve that. So… I call him Liam William Angel. Just until you were ready to help me pick a name. I mean, if you don't like Liam William it's ok-"

"I love it." said Calista.

"You do?"

"I do. It's perfect for him."

"Oh, good, 'cause I do like it."

"It's perfect. Liam William."

"Cool." Connor smiled at her. Calista smiled a little back, but it was forced.

"I was going to say that for him, you could pick the name if you wanted and I could pick the girl's name."

"Oh. Well that's great." Connor chuckled. Calista nodded. "Any ideas?"

"Not yet."

"How about Angela?"

"No. Nothing like that, nothing to do with angels, or God, or the bible. Nothing like that!"

"Ok, ok." Connor recoiled, wishing he hadn't suggested it.

"I was sort of thinking maybe something more… unusual."

"Like what?"

"Like… Lina, or Moria, or Isadora."

"Those are nice. But don't worry. There's no rush."

Calista nodded then grimaced, "I've had enough. Make him stop."

Connor's eyes widened and he reached out, trying to remember how to stop a baby suckling. He knew you shouldn't really do it, but Calista looked edgy and he didn't want her panicking. Then he remembered what Shreya had said and gently broke the suction of Liam's mouth. Then he pulled the baby away. Liam squawked and then wailed. Calista fixed her clothes and ran into the bathroom. Connor grimaced and popped the rubber teat of the awaiting bottle into Liam's mouth. The baby latched on at once. In the silence Connor could hear Calista crying in the bathroom. He sighed, looking down at his son.

"This might not be as easy as I'd hoped."

* * *

"Salutations cats and dolls, I shall expect all your praises to shower on yours truly when he tells you that he has succeeded in finding us a heavenly help." Lorne came into the hotel with a spring in his step.

"You found a doctor for Calista?"

"I did indeed and even better, she's not only tail, horn and fang free, but she's-"

"A kid." said Angel, looking over Lorne's shoulder. Everyone looked to see a girl, not much older than Connor and Calista were, entering the hotel. She was dressed in tastefully casual clothes and had large sunglasses hiding her eyes.

"Hi. You guys must be the Scoobies and Fang Gang." said the girl, removing her sunglasses and grinning at them.

"You're a kid." said Angel, not able to get past this fact. The girl wasn't fazed.

"My name is Tayen. And I assure you, I may be young, but I'm fully qualified."

"To do what? Have a good old gossip with our resident depressed? It's gonna take more than that to fix her. Lorne!" Cordy fixed Lorne with an angry glare. Lorne raised his hands in a placating gesture.

"I'm telling you kitten, Ms. Tayen is the best in the business. I got tons of recommendations before I went near her. Don't let her age fool you. She's an expert."

"I've handled hundreds of cases already, from Post-Partum, to abused children trying to move on. Just because I'm not a crotchety old woman doesn't make me any less qualified."

"Oh so you're what? Some kind of child prodigy?"

"No. I'm just a good psychologist. Look, you all have so many issues I don't know whether to start with the brooding vampire who immerses himself in woe, or the Slayer who's a commitaphobe, or the other one who locks herself in a tight bubble of raw carnal attitude to hide the gooey softness inside, or the part demon ex-cheerleader who's trying to act like what happened to her in the last apocalypse didn't happen. I mean… whoa! With all your baggage it's no wonder it took you so long to notice that the mother was suffering from Post-Partum. And it seems she's just had a feeding disaster, so if you'll excuse me, I'd like to get to work. I need to make an evaluation of the situation before I being counselling." Tayen turned and walked up the stairs, leaving the whole gang gob smacked.

Lorne chuckled nervously, "I did just say she didn't have any horns or fangs. I didn't say she wasn't a demon, or at least part demon. She's empathic, telepathic, with this kind of mood controller ability that she uses to help her depressed patients and she's-"

"Lorne… go." Cordy pointed at the stairs staring at the ground.

"Right you are kitten." Lorne bolted out of the lobby before anyone could blink.

* * *

There was a knock on the door.

"Come in." called Connor as he winded his daughter. The door opened and a young woman entered. She had dark hair, and mocha skin, with tasteful clothes. She smiled.

"Hello. I'm Tayen."

"Um, hi. I'm Connor."

"I'm here to see Calista."

"She's in the bathroom. Are you the doctor?"

"I don't really like to think of myself as one. I'm a listener. And then I'm a talker. And the thing about me, is I never tell anyone what someone has told me." Tayen winked at Connor. Connor smiled.

"Nice to know."

"Good. Now, I'll talk to you soon, but first I'd like a word with Calista."

"Yeah, sure, go on."

Tayen nodded and walked into the bathroom, shutting the door behind her. Calista looked up from where she was sitting on the floor beside the toilet.

"Hi Calista." Tayen smiled.

"Who are you?"

"I'm Tayen, I'm here to talk to you. Is that ok?"

"Talk about what?"

"Whatever you want, I'm here to listen and guide you."

"You're the doctor."

"Well, not The Doctor." Tayen chuckled. Calista's face was blank. Tayen shrugged, "Not a Whovian I see."

"A what?"

"A fan of Dr. Who."

"Oh… who's Doctor Who?"

Tayen smiled and shook her head, "It's no biggie. I'll introduce you later." She winked at Calista. "Now… do you want to tell me what's bugging you?"

"Well… um…"

"You can say whatever you want, it'll be in the strictest confidence."

"Anything?"

"Anything."

* * *

When Tayen emerged from the bathroom and went down to the lobby six hours later, she looked tired, and there was an underlying anger. However she was careful to maintain a professional stance in front of her clients.

"Well. I've spoken with both Calista and Connor. Now it is definite that Calista is suffering from Post-Partum Depression. However, I prefer to keep such cases off antidepressants if I can, partly because it makes it harder for them to bond with the babies since if you're on medication you can't nurse, but also I think of medication as a last resort. I'm going to work with Calista for a while and see if we can help her without drugs first. I'm also going to work with Connor, because I believe he needs some help as well, especially in relation to Calista. Any questions?"

"How often will you see her?" asked Angel, his arms around Buffy.

"Twice a week at first. If required, I'll increase that to three or four times, but I don't want to risk her becoming dependant on me. Calista needs to become her own person, so keep that in mind when you're dealing with her. Connor I'll see on a separate day once a week."

"Ok. We'll see how this goes." said Angel, nodding his head. Tayen narrowed her eyes a little.

"I have one thing to say. Don't expect a quick change. This is a slow process. And quick-fixes never work. Not in the long run. Now, given your penchant towards magic I must insist you maintain a magic free involvement with Calista. Magic will only make things worse. No sleeping potions, no calming spells, no nothing like that. At most, give her camomile tea for her nerves. Do we understand each other?" Tayen gave Angel a very severe look at this. Angel nodded his head in understanding. "Good. Before I go, I would like to apologise for my words earlier today. I just had to make it clear that I'm no fool and I'm very serious about this. You all have baggage, and I think you should all try to open up a little. It would really help you." Tayen put her bag over her shoulder. "Good night, I'll see you in three days at eleven."

"Goodnight Ms. Tayen." said Lorne, showing her the door.

* * *

The weeks passed very slowly. Tayen came to see Calista twice a week and Connor once a week, gradually getting them to open up to her. Buffy immersed herself in wedding plans, while Angel and Cordy got Angel Investigations up and running again, using it as a means of training the new Slayers.

Willow had contacted the coven and was working with them to find all the new Slayers, while Giles and Wesley did their best to find any surviving Watchers (although in this they had no luck) and trying to re-establish the Watchers Council.

Robin, who'd been in hospital since the night they'd returned to L.A as his condition had worsened, was recovering and Faith had kept him company. He'd be able to come back to the hotel in a few days.

On the outside things seemed to be getting better. In reality there was another problem, and once again it concerned the babies and their mother.

"What exactly is the problem Calista?" asked Tayen, sitting back in her chair. Calista sighed as she stared out the window. They were in a little room that had been converted into a private meeting room for these sessions.

"It's just… I've been doing what you told me. I've been nursing the babies and trying to spend time with them when I feel up to it…"

"But?"

"But, whenever I do, there's always someone hovering nearby. Always someone watching my every move, like I'm going to hurt the babies."

"Would you consider it?" asked Tayen.

"Of course not!" Calista answered at once, "I love the twins… I just have trouble being around them… but that doesn't mean I don't love them."

"Well… in some cases of Post-Natal Depression, mothers can harm their children, so maybe your friends are just trying to ensure that doesn't happen."

"In other words they don't trust me with my own children." growled Calista.

"They want to. But given how things have been, and what happened when Connor was a baby, i.e. demon cults wanting to read their glorious future in his entrails, that they're reluctant to let the twins out of their sight. It's nothing against you, it's love of the babies."

"I just wish they'd tell me why they do it. If I knew why, then I'd accept it. But this… awkwardness is maddening."

Tayen nodded and then she looked up at Calista again, "Have you and Connor had sex since the babies were born?"

Calista was so shocked she couldn't even breathe for a moment. Then she said, in an uncomfortable tone, "We… um… once."

"When was that? And… what was the nature of it?"

Calista's cheeks were burning and she couldn't look at Tayen, "The night I realised I was sick. And, and it was… aggressive. We were both angry at each other, and… and we were consumed by lust."

"It's nothing to be ashamed of. These days the attitude is that sex is good as long as the couple love each other. Some couples never marry, but they live together, have children, do everything but that single ceremony."

"But that's living in sin."

"Why? What's sinful about it?"

"They aren't married in the eyes of God and-" Calista cut herself off and closed her eyes, looking frustrated. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be." Tayen leaned forward, "Calista, all these things you say about God and sin, it's all repeating what Daniel Holtz said to you, yes?"

"Word for word." sighed Calista.

"You know, when I went to Spanish camp when I was younger, I had to speak Spanish all the time or I'd get in trouble. When I came back, for a good while after, I found myself thinking or responding in Spanish to people."

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"I was only at camp for three weeks, but what I absorbed there took a while to stop coming out of my mouth. Imagine how hard it would be to speak English after eighteen years of being around Spanish. In my opinion, it's no different than parroting what someone says, particularly since he held tremendous power over you."

"I guess that makes sense."

"Calista what you need to realise is that you no longer have to agree with him. You don't need to fear having an opinion. You don't need to fear wanting something different. You can like things and want things, regardless of what Daniel Holtz wanted."

"But what if he was right?"

"What if he was wrong? The thing is, no one really knows what God wants from us. Some people say that God accepts all religions as right, provided that the followers do not commit evil in his name. Most people think that to truly appease God is to live a good, honest life, and be kind to those around you."

"What about sin?"

"Sin? Well, what would a sin be?"

"To murder."

"That's a given."

"To be selfish."

"In an extreme, being selfish is wrong, but you're allowed to be a little selfish."

"To be cruel."

"No excuse for cruelty."

"To fornicate."

Tayen sighed, "No. That is not a sin."

"It is!"

"Why?"

"Because… because it's a sin to have sex outside of marriage."

"And why is that?"

"Because God willed it so." Calista looked triumphant.

"So says a book. One book alone. Now I don't mean to sound like I believe the Da Vinci Code, but as Teabing quoted, 'The Bible didn't come from heaven by fax'."

"What does that mean?"

"It means that the Bible was written by men, men who had strengths and weaknesses just like everyone else. God didn't have a hand in writing it."

Calista looked away. Tayen sighed. She wasn't sure which of her patients was more stubborn. "Let's get back to the question I asked you before. You and Connor have had sex once since the babies were born?"

"Yes."

"Have either of you attempted to do it again?"

"Connor has a few times, but I turn away from him."

"Is he aggressive when he tries?"

"No! He just… he tries to kiss me and hold me."

"But you're not comfortable with that?"

"No. I just… I don't know what I feel."

"Calista, would you mind if I tried something?"

"What?"

"I'm going to try to bring your mindset when Connor tries to kiss you to the foreground, so we can both analyse it."

"Ok I guess."

Tayen held her hands up and gently pressed them to Calista's head. "Now, think about one of these times."

Calista closed her eyes and Tayen could instantly see the memory.

_Connor kissed Calista's shoulder and Calista stiffened at once, her mind torn in two. Part of her wanted to give into what she really did want, but the larger part screamed at her all sorts of names and quotes in a man's voice. Connor then tried to turn Calista's head towards him so he could kiss her properly. Calista shivered at how much she wanted him, but the desire was overpowered by the fright as Daniel's face flashed through her mind and the shouts grew louder. Calista whimpered and pushed Connor away, turning over so her back was to him, burying her head in her arms. _

Tayen let go of Calista's head, and sat back, pondering. Calista said nothing.

"Ok, here's what I want you to try. Next time you're alone with Connor, and you feel up to doing it, I want you to kiss him. Just kiss him. Nothing more."

"I…"

"You need to learn to suppress the voice of Holtz, you need to get rid of it. The thing you don't quite realise Calista, is that a kiss doesn't have to lead to sex or anything like it. Sex is about closeness, about love, but a kiss can hold those same meanings. Now can you try to kiss Connor before we meet again?"

"I'll try."

"Good. Now, our time's just about up, so I'm gonna go. I'll see you in two days."

"Ok, thank you."

"Oh, that reminds me, have you named your daughter yet?"

"I thought of a name… Solana Catherine. But I haven't suggested it yet."

"Well you should, it's lovely."

"Thanks." Calista stood up and saw Tayen out of the hotel. Connor was in the lobby with Angel, and the two of them were sparring. These days Connor was Angel's match, able to predict his every move, and keep up with him. They were too engrossed in their fight to notice Calista watching them, or that she slipped over to the babies who were watching in their carry-cots. Calista looked up at Connor and Angel and then lifted Solana out of her carry-cot and walked away, up to her bedroom.

* * *

Update coming soon.

Night's Darkness


	36. Tentative Steps

2 chapters left shakes with nerves

Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 36**

Connor grinned as he knocked Angel on his back, making the vampire grunt in pain and surprise.

"Give it up old man." he taunted. Angel got to his feet and made a show of wincing and grimacing in pain before lunging for Connor again. Connor ducked and spun around on the balls of his feet, elbowing Angel in the stomach. Angel grunted again and turned around to face Connor. Then he froze and looked at something over Connor's shoulder.

"Um, Connor?"

"What?"

"We're short a baby."

"What?" Connor spun around to check on the babies. Liam cooed at him next to his sister's empty carry-cot. "Oh God!"

"What's wrong guys?" asked Buffy as she came in from the garden where she'd been going through theme ideas with Anya, Dawn, Cordy and Willow.

"The baby's gone!"

"Which one?"

"The girl." Connor grimaced, wishing he had a name for the babe.

"Well, where the hell could she have gone?" demanded Buffy.

"Calista." said Angel, his nose in the air. Connor instantly sniffed the air too. "She must have come down and taken the baby while we were sparring."

"I'll check the room." Connor hurried up the steps.

"Well hurry! What if she's decided she's had enough of being a mum?" called Buffy, sounding panicked. Connor was already gone.

When he reached the door he hesitated, listening for sounds of crying, or anger. Instead he was almost certain he heard the sound of giggling. Bewildered, he pushed the door open.

Calista sat on the bed, smiling down at their daughter, who was nursing happily. One tiny foot kicked out and Calista giggled again. Connor's mouth fell open. He hadn't heard Calista giggle since… he couldn't remember ever hearing Calista giggle like that.

"Cal?"

Calista looked up, her eyes bright and she smiled at him before looking back down at their daughter.

"Solana got hungry while we were up here. So I figured I may as well feed her."

"Solana?"

"Our daughter. Solana Catherine."

"You named her?"

"Don't you like it?" Calista's smile fell a little.

"No. I love it." Connor walked over to the bed and sat beside her. Calista sighed with contentment, leaning her head back. Connor didn't take his eyes off her.

"What are you staring at?" Calista looked at him, still with that little smile on her face.

"You. I can't remember seeing you look so… content. You've almost got a glow."

"Thanks. I feel better than I have in a long time… I mean… I'm not completely better, but I feel happier."

"That's good."

They sat in silence, staring down at Solana. Solana's tiny hands were resting against Calista's skin, her dark blue eyes peeping up at her mother with complete trust.

"You said when she was born that she had my eyes. I think she's got yours."

"Do you think so?" Calista cocked her head to the side, observing her daughter.

"Sure. Solana's eyes are darker than mine. Your eyes are the same colour."

Calista looked at Connor and Connor stared straight back, deep into her eyes. They inched a little closer together, not breaking eye contact.

Solana gurgled and they looked down to see she'd finished. Calista smiled and rested the baby's head on her shoulder, so she could rub her back. Solana burped and then she cooed, her tiny feet, covered by her feety jumpsuit, kicking a little against Calista's skin. Calista sighed and rested her head gently against Solana's, smiling with the same smile Connor remembered Darla giving him as he broke free of the Power's spell. It was a mother's smile. Connor smiled to see it.

Calista stood up and lay Solana down in her crib. Then she sat down on the bed beside Connor, resting her head on his shoulder. Connor swallowed hard as he put his arm around her shoulders. Calista reached up and linked her fingers with his.

"Connor?"

"Yeah?"

"Can I talk to you?"

"Of course."

"You remember the day the twins were born?"

"Yeah."

"Kevin came to see me after you all went home."

Connor stiffened, "Oh?"

"Yes. And we… we kissed."

Connor pulled away from Calista. She straightened up and grabbed the front of his shirt.

"Please Connor, let me explain and then get angry."

Connor clenched his teeth, but nodded his head. Calista drew in a deep breath,

"Kevin kissed me and I let him. I thought I wanted him. But I've come to realise that what I wanted from Kevin wasn't a mate, what I wanted was what he offered me."

"Like what?"

"Freedom. I look at him and he just seems so carefree, and he's so happy all the time… anyway, I went to see him a few days ago, and I told him that it was you I wanted. Because I do. I owed it to you, to the babies, to me, to try and make us work. But more than that, I want you. I don't want Kevin like that."

Connor stared at her for a few moments, then nodded his head, "Ok."

"The thing is Connor, I don't want to give Kevin up. I need him as a friend. He can teach me about this world. He's even offered me a job as a model for him. I don't know if I want to do that, but… I think I need something outside this hotel and your family. I mean I care about everyone here, and I know now that they do care about me. But I need friends outside this hotel. I mean, if you want friends outside it I won't complain, I'll get it. But I need this. Can you accept that?"

Calista's eyes were pleading with Connor for understanding. Connor stared back. He was tempted to say no, because he didn't trust Kevin. But he nodded. Calista beamed at him and hugged him. Connor smiled and held her in his arms. Calista pulled back and looked up at him, her eyes piercing him. Connor swallowed hard again and leaned down. Calista didn't pull away as he touched her lips with his own. Instead she leaned into his touch, reaching up with a gentle hand and stroking his cheek. Connor held her closer, but didn't attempt to deepen the kiss, relishing in the feel of her close to him.

"Connor!" shouted Cordelia as she came down the corridor in an obvious panic. Solana began to cry. Connor and Calista jumped apart. Cordy burst into the room, coming to a stunned halt when she saw Connor and Calista's closeness and that Solana was in her crib. Calista slid of the bed.

"You silly Cordy. You've woken Solana up."

"Solana?"

"Yes. My daughter's name is Solana Catherine." said Calista as she lifted the baby out of her crib and gently rocked her.

"You named her?"

"Of course I did. I'm her mother amn't I?"

Cordy's slack jawed expression began to mingle with delight, "Yeah. Of course you are Calista."

"Good. Solana Catherine it is." said Calista with a firm tone. Connor grinned at the sound. She really was taking charge. "And for the record Cordelia, while I appreciate that you and the others have been concerned for myself and the babies, if you continue to hover and prevent me from spending time with them… well, we'll find out what Creation will allow me to do."

Cordelia's eyes widened and she nodded, throwing Connor a nervous look. Connor said nothing as he stood up and went to Calista's side. Calista smiled at him and then walked away, out of the room and down to the lobby.

"Hi Liam. Are you hungry?" Calista cooed, as she set Solana down in her carry-cot. Liam looked up at his mother and reached out a hand. Now five weeks old, the little boy had begun to recognise his mother. Calista lifted Liam up into her arms and brought his face close to hers. With a wide smile, Calista rubbed her nose against his smaller one. Liam babbled and pressed his hands to her cheeks, his mouth opening and as he moved his head his mouth brushed her nose, like he was trying to eat it. Calista laughed and brought him to her chest, cuddling him close. "Are you hungry my boy? Let's get you fed, eh? Yeah!" Calista almost skipped out of the lobby and up the stairs, Liam cooing as she went.

"Am I seeing things?" asked Buffy, her mouth hanging open.

"No. I guess she's really getting better." said Connor in a quiet voice.

"How about you Connor? How're you doing?"

"Ok… I mean… I'm fine." Truth be told, Connor was giddy with delight over that kiss. He turned to look at Buffy. The Slayer and he hadn't really spoken much since they'd returned from Sunnydale. And from the look on her face she wanted a_Talk._

"That's good. Connor, I-"

"I'm gonna go out, I haven't left the hotel much in the last while." said Connor, backing away.

"Hey I'll come with you!" said Buffy, smiling, "We can get ice cream."

Connor sighed, trying not to look uncomfortable. "Sure."

"I'll just get my purse, my treat."

"Erm… ok."

* * *

Buffy smiled to herself when Connor chose double chocolate chip mint ice cream and cookie dough. That was her favourite combo.

"What are you smiling at?"

"Nothing. We just like the same ice-cream."

"Do we?"

"Mmhm. I'll have the same. In an extra large tub." Buffy directed this to the cashier. When she had her ice cream, they wandered into the park and sat down on the grass. Connor sat up, while Buffy leaned back on her elbows. They sat in silence for a while, watching some little kids play with their parents.

"That'll be you and Calista soon enough." said Buffy, smiling.

"Yeah. Can't imagine it. Can't imagine Liam and Solana being any different to what they are now."

"Solana… she called the girl Solana?"

"Yeah. I like it."

"It's unusual. Not that I can talk or anything." said Buffy with a smile.

"I think she wanted something that would definitely not be in the Bible."

"She's really hung up on that whole God and religion stuff isn't she?"

"She spent her whole life having it drilled into her head. We both did."

"You don't seem to have an issue with it."

"I'm different. I just had to worry about doing right. Calista had to contend with the fact that she's a woman. Anyone can become good, but no one can change their gender."

"There's a bunch of transvestites that would beg to differ." quipped Buffy, but she was clearly trying to just lighten the mood. "What happened to you two… it was so wrong. No child should suffer for their parents actions, and no one should suffer because of their gender."

"You're right. But it happens all the time." Connor shifted so he was looking at her. "Aren't there countries at war right now? Wars that were started long ago?"

"Yeah."

"Well that means that those who began the war are probably long dead and it's their children that are paying the price. They're the ones who fight, who die, who're tortured… it's always the children who suffer from what I hear. And from what I hear women are still treated badly."

"You're right. I mean, women in this country, we complain about how guys don't take us seriously, especially when we're teenagers, but we've no real idea what its like to be discriminated against because we're born a certain way." Buffy sighed, sitting up and crossing her legs. "It's all so messed up, isn't it?"

"Completely. And worst of all, so many people are oblivious."

"Nah, they just don't wanna think about it, or get their hands dirty."

"Why would God allow this to happen if he is really up there?"

"I don't know Connor. To be honest I've never really thought about God that much, too busy trying to have a social life and be a Slayer."

"Now that there's more than one, maybe that'll be easier." Connor murmured, pushing his remaining ice-cream around the tub.

"Yeah." Buffy knew he wanted a more serious answer. She knew he wasn't that comfortable about her being his mum, not anymore, if he'd ever been. After calling her mum for a day, he'd gone back to calling her Buffy, if he addressed her at all. Maybe the secret was letting him in past the jokes. "Well, maybe, maybe God isn't like the way everyone thinks he is."

"How do you mean?"

"Well… maybe he lit the candle, but he doesn't control which way the wax drips. He just watches where it falls. Maybe we're like… an experiment. A science experiment, where he created the universe, gave us a bunch of laws that make said universe spin and… we're the result of it, but not the plan."

"You mean we're like an accident, life is an accident."

"A good accident." Buffy hurried to point out.

"But an accident nonetheless."

"Maybe God considers us, like you consider the twins. They were accidents, weren't they? You didn't mean to get Calista pregnant." Connor opened his mouth to snap at her, so Buffy hurried to elaborate, "That doesn't mean you regret it. It just means it was… unexpected."

"I guess."

"Or, or maybe, the Powers That Be are like… students, and God is a teacher, and we're like a science experiment. Maybe the universe is held in a big Petri dish –like in the Simpsons!- and God is trying to teach the Powers how to be like him so they can go off and start their own universes… or something like that."

Connor smiled a little and Buffy felt proud that she'd cheered him up. "So… I was thinking, you know, you have a hotel full of babysitters, and you said it yourself, it's been ages since you went out, so… why not take Calista out on a date? Might be a good way of helping you."

"I don't know, I mean, right now… she's just starting to be happy around the babies."

"All the more reason to take her out, so that she doesn't spend so much time around them that she gets sick of them again. That's kinda what happened that made her depression so bad."

"Maybe. I'll think about it."

"Ok." Buffy nodded.

"So… how go the wedding plans?"

"Well, I'm thinking that the wedding could be in January, a time when there's still shorter days than nights, and I was thinking that Finland would be a nice place to go, 'cause its got this whole, eternal darkness going on every year."

"Ok, I wouldn't call myself an expert on the months but isn't that like… three months away?"

"Yeah, but if I put it off I'd have to wait a year, for next winter. And I don't think I can wait that long."

"Well, no offence, but with everything that's going on, maybe you should wait. I mean, from what I hear, you're gonna have to sort out these new Slayers, sort out some Council, neither of which are small tasks, everyone's kinda still getting used to being here and then there's Spike, who maybe needs more time before he'll acknowledge his attraction to Cordy, and thereby being able to allow any wedding to go on uninterrupted."

Buffy stared at Connor in shock. "You're a lot more observant than you let on."

"I survived in Quor-Toth by being observant. I've found it's still useful."

"I guess I can wait another year. I mean, I've wait this long, what's another year?"

"This long? How long have you been waiting to marry my dad?"

"I guess… since I was sixteen." Buffy smiled to herself.

Connor raised an eyebrow, "I think I'm gonna need a more detailed –but nothing graphic- explanation of that statement."

Buffy smiled to herself as she began to tell the story of her and Angel.

* * *

Anya sighed to herself in contentment as she lay down on her back, while Xander panted beside her.

"That was amazing." he gasped.

"Isn't it always?" Anya smirked as she stretched.

"Well… admittedly yes, but I feel it bears repeating." Xander smiled at her, "May I say 'Damn we are good together.'"

"Yes we are." agreed Anya, yawning.

"Hey, listen Ahn, I was wondering… does this mean we're together again?"

"As in dating?"

"Well, yeah. I mean… if we are, I'm all for it and if we're not I think I'm entitled to a reason why." Xander rolled onto his side, smiling down at her. Anya stared up at him, unsure what she should say. Vivid memories of her 'not' wedding day sprung to mind. It was true, she'd never really gotten over Xander, and she knew it. But what he'd done had hurt her more than she'd ever been hurt before.

"Xander… I don't know." she admitted in a quiet voice.

"Look, Ahn, believe me, I know what I did hurt you, but… well, maybe we weren't meant to be together then. Maybe we were meant to be together now. I mean, we survived the biggest of all our apocalypses, that's gotta mean something considering how likely it was that we would both die."

"That's true."

"Anya, all I'm asking for is a chance here. I think we owe it to ourselves to do that. I'm perfectly fine with going slow, but I really think we have a shot."

Anya stared up at Xander, and stroked his face, admiring the boyish hopefulness of it. After a few moments she said,

"Ok."

"Ok? We're officially together now?"

"Yeah I guess. But right now I want sex again."

Xander beamed at her, "Yes ma'am!"

* * *

"Hey! Hey, mini-pouf!"

"That's not my name Spike."

"Whatever. I need a word with you."

Connor sighed and turned around. He'd been heading to bed, tired after the long day he'd had. Spike shifted where he stood for a few moments, then said

"You know you're way too like your Old Man."

"So I've been told. Time was that would have been an insult to me. Now though… I'll take it as a compliment."

"Yeah, well, any way Lieutenant Forehead, I wanted to say… that I'm sorry." Spike grimaced as the words passed his lips.

"That hurt didn't it?"

"Like a bloody stake in the heart."

"What are you sorry for?"

"I'm sorry… for telling that Photographer to hit on Calista. I didn't think ye deserved her. But… I guess I was wrong. Seeing how you've handled everything with her being off kilter, when most guys would've just done a runner… you're worthy of her."

"You really care about Cal, don't you?"

"Yeah. Me, I'm a sucker for pretty damsels."

"Especially if they're strong pretty damsels." Connor smirked, "Like Cordy."

"Exactly like- wait- no I… oh bugger off!" Spike stormed away, leaving Connor chuckling to himself.

* * *

Hehe, poor Spike.

Night's Darkness.


	37. Family and Love

The penultimate chapter… omg!!

Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 37**

_(Ten Months later)_

"Come on Solana, come on sweetie, that's it, come to mummy!"

Connor smiled as he let Solana's hands go and the baby began to totter her way across the lobby floor to her mother. Her little hands were reaching out and her face was alight with love and joy as Calista held her arms out to her, and called to her.

Calista's face was alight with love and joy as well as she called again to Solana. Over the past months Calista's sessions with Tayen had been reduced to one every two weeks and she seemed so content now that Connor rarely saw a frown on her face. There were of course days when she was in a bad mood, but time with their children chased that gloom away now.

Connor had stopped seeing Tayen altogether, and found himself feeling more content than he could ever remember being. He now worked with Buffy, Faith, Spike, and occasionally, his dad, training the Slayers.

Wesley and Giles had managed to access the Watcher's council's accounts, each of which contained a significant amount of money. With it they'd bought a huge mansion just outside L.A. from the Nadidah Demon Clan, a Demon-Human Clan on the side of good. Xander had been put in charge of turning the mansion into a school, which he'd done with efficiency and style, with his lover Anya managing the budget and securing him the best deals around. They were a powerful team.

The Slayer School was big enough to house over a thousand students, with classrooms, training areas, even science labs. Willow served as both witch and science teacher now, along with Fred who was known as the Sweetie-Pie Scientist. The Slayers not only learned how to fight, but they fulfilled their education and then decided whether they would go to collage or not. But by that time, they would be well trained.

Connor was one of the fighting instructors, and he had a reputation for being a hard ass. He took his job very seriously, and even Faith admitted that Connor's Slayers were probably the best trained.

Dawn and Andrew were being trained in being Watchers, something both took pride in. Giles and Wesley gave them their formal training, along with other new Watchers.

Robin Wood had been elected the Principal of the School, he handled the same stuff he'd handled in Sunnydale, monitoring behaviour, handling parents, all the muggle stuff as Dawn called it. Most times if a student needed to be punished, he'd handle it, but for the real tough nuts, he'd call in Faith for back up.

Connor couldn't quite understand the relationship between those two, because it was more than sex, but Faith was very hard to read. Connor had kept his nose out of it for the most part.

Angel and Cordelia had resumed Angel Investigations, with Gunn helping out just like he used to, but also working with the Slayers, giving them talks about what it was really like out there. Connor wasn't sure his title of 'Motivational Speaker' was entirely appropriate.

Spike had made it very clear a long time ago that he'd only stayed around for Calista, and that he would leave once he was sure she was better. By all rights, he should have left a month ago, but something kept him here. Perhaps it was to do with all the private chats he'd been having with Cordy. Maybe it was because he was still needed to help out with the Slayers –more arrived everyday. Perhaps he just couldn't bring himself to leave the people he cared about, namely Dawn, Buffy, Anya, Calista, Cordy and the twins.

Whatever the reason, he'd stuck around and didn't seem to be planning on leaving any time soon. Connor was glad of it. Partially because he would look out for Calista and the babies, and partially because there was nothing better to come home to after a trying day with a bunch of stuck up brats –as some of the Slayers were- than one of the random arguments between Spike and Angel. Connor's personal favourite had to be the 'Cavemen V Astronaut' one.

"Come on Solana, one more step! That's my girl! Oh come here!" Solana had made it to her mother's arms and Calista was now spinning around on the spot, cooing to her daughter and kissing her cheek. Solana laughed and her hand patted Calista's cheek. Calista laughed even more, throwing her head back, her whole being overflowing with happiness. In the autumn sunshine, she positively glowed.

"See how pretty your mummy is son?" Connor whispered to Liam. Liam babbled and smiled up at Connor. "You know you should be proud of mummy. She's come a very long way."

"So have you Connor. So have you." Calista smiled at him and sat down beside him, resting Solana on her lap. Calista looked out at the garden, "The flowers look good, don't they?"

"Yeah. I like the Daffodils." Connor smiled as Calista chuckled. Leaning a little closer he inhaled Calista's scent. She smelled like daffodils now, because of all the time she'd spent in the garden, helping the plants to grow. She'd torn out a lot of the jasmine, saying there was far too much of it and had planted various other plants instead. There were countless bright yellow daffodils, and creeping up the wall was Sweet Pea. Different coloured roses made a colourful pattern in the middle. Baby's breath, Bluebells, Blue Camellias were all there too. Calista had planted a few springs of Bells of Ireland for good luck, and some primroses too.

The garden looked very healthy and strong and that was because the tender had used her connection to Creation to help them grow.

Since the apocalypse, the connections Connor and Calista felt with Destruction and Creation respectively had never gone away, but they were faint. After a time, they'd found they could still do things on a small scale. Connor had used his Destruction to help fight demons, while Calista had used her Creation to heal wounds by making the cells regenerate, and grow plants. Along with Willow, she'd made a beautiful garden for the school, which used the mystical properties of flowers to help protect the school.

Liam wiggled out of his father's lap, and onto the floor where he began to crawl along, heading straight for the weapons' cabinet. He may have resembled his mother with his blond hair, but he was definitely his father's son. Unfortunately for him, the weapon's cabinet was now childlocked.

The two parents watched with amusement at their son's futile attempts to open the cabinet, when Calista's cell phone rang. Connor rolled his eyes at the ring tone, making a mental note to 'thank' Tayen for getting his mate addicted to Dr. Who. Calista gave him a knowing look as she answered,

"Hello?... Yeah… Oh, really?... No I can come over now if you need me… Ok I'll be over in a bit. Bye." Calista hung up.

"Was that Kevin?" Connor tried to sound casual.

"Yeah, it was." said Calista, also trying to sound casual.

Connor would never really trust Kevin, he knew Kevin was attracted to, maybe even in love with, Calista. However he did trust Calista and so he didn't complain about her new job.

Calista had turned down Kevin's offer of being a model for him, but she'd become fond of photography and now helped him out whenever he asked and she was available. It was a part time job in a way, and it was good for her. It got her out and sometimes Kevin's jobs were in places that Calista had never seen or heard of, so she was experiencing the world. Most importantly to Connor, no matter where she went or how long she was gone for, sometimes she was gone for three days, Calista always came back. To Calista, Kevin was a dear friend, and nothing more. Connor could accept him in her life so long as that didn't change.

"I'll be back in a few hours. And then I've got a surprise for you." Calista kissed Connor's cheek and then kissed Solana and Liam goodbye before walking out. Connor wondered what the surprise was.

Much to Connor's frustration, despite how good things were everywhere else in their lives, he and Calista hadn't slept together since that dark night eleven months ago. Calista just wasn't there yet. In Connor's slightly desperate mind, he found himself hoping that maybe that would be the surprise. But he doubted it. She had told him last night that she still wasn't ready. She wouldn't be ready tonight.

* * *

Connor wouldn't get used to his dad pulling goofy faces at his grandchildren, period. He'd done them before, he would do them again, but Connor couldn't get used to them. It was just too weird when you considered just how many demons in the city were terrified of the vampire.

It only got weirder when Spike joined in. The vampires seemed to have a silent bond of understanding and blood that no one else could understand. Oh they always insisted they hated each other, yet they were able to work together against bigger demons and they always won. By this point… the others had given up on trying to understand the complex relationship.

"Ok! Dinner is served!" called Andrew. In addition to Watcher Duties, Andrew also served as chef in the hotel. The whole group had never eaten so well in their lives, and on Connor, it showed. He'd lost his bony look, filling out a little. He was still skinny and sinewy, but he didn't look like the textbook example of an anorexic anymore. Calista, who had always been thin like him, had quickly lost her baby-belly –what little of one she'd had- but she'd also put on weight, making her look healthy and it seemed to have improved her moods.

The Scoobies and the Fang Gang all filed into the dining room and sat down, admiring the exquisite meal. Say what you want about Andrew, but you couldn't complain about his cooking skills. Dawn put Liam in his high chair, while Angel put Solana in hers. Connor sat down next to Liam, with Dawn on his other side. Calista sat opposite him, with Solana on her right and Spike on her left. As usual when she'd come from Kevin's she'd been in a great mood, gushing over how much fun she'd had with him.

They all dug in, chatting about their respective days.

"Buffy, how's the wedding plans going?"

"They're going fine. I'm very glad Connor talked me into having it in December, all this preparation, I'd have had nothing done if we'd gotten married in January."

"As it's been said before, I may have dad's fighting skills, and your spirit, but I have Darla's brains." smirked Connor. A chuckle rippled across the table. Calista caught Connor's eyes and smiled at him. Connor grinned as he fed Liam mushy pumpkin that smelled absolutely foul. Liam seemed to like it though, because he ate it all up. Solana was a little more fussy, and at first refused to eat it, but after some encouragement from Calista, she accepted her peas and carrots.

"So, Angel and I will be taking the babies tonight, right?" said Buffy, looking at Calista.

"Yes, thanks Buffy."

Connor's eyebrows rose in surprise. It wasn't unusual for someone to mind the babies once in a while so he and Calista could spend alone time together without worry for the twins, but this was news to him. He realised it must have been part of the surprise Calista was planning.

* * *

"So… babies are gone." Connor smiled at his mate. Calista nodded as she shut the door to their apartment. Technically it was still part of the hotel, but Xander had renovated it so it was like a penthouse, on the second-most top floor. Above them were Buffy and Angel and below, Wesley and Fred were having that floor renovated for themselves. "What's the plan?"

"Well, I've got five movies here, and you get to pick which one to watch." Calista held them up and Connor grinned. They were all movies that they both liked. Not a romance in sight.

"Hmm… well, it's tempting to go for V for Vendetta, but… I think I'm gonna go for Ice Age."

Calista grinned. "I was hoping you'd pick that. You get the popcorn, and I'll set up the TV."

"Sure."

Connor went into the kitchen and found the microwaveable popcorn. After remembering to remove the plastic wrapper –he'd forgotten before and the results had been messy- he stuck it in the microwave and let it run, while he got the drinks. Since he figured tonight was a romantic night, he chose Bacardi and Coke as their beverage, since wine made them both want to puke.

When they had everything ready they cuddled up on the couch, Calista content to rest her head on Connor's shoulder and they watched the movie. Connor loved children's movies, claiming they were a great way to relax, and Calista had agreed with him after watching a few.

About halfway through the movie Calista began to kiss Connor's neck, instantly getting his attention as he tilted his head back so she could reach better. He kissed her forehead and temples, before catching her chin in his hand and pulling her lips up to his, kissing her firmly on the mouth. Calista pressed closer to him and kissed him hard, her fingers in his hair. The movie was forgotten about completely as Connor pushed her back and lay on top of her. Calista giggled as he lightly tickled her ribs, to keep her relaxed. Connor had learned over the past months that he had to be careful about lying on top of Calista, or else she'd get anxious. Tickling was a trick that he'd found most effective at keeping her relaxed.

Calista took hold of Connor's hands and held them in hers, breaking their kiss.

"Connor…"

"You want me to stop?"

"No. But… do you want your surprise?"

"Sure. Ok."

"Ok, I'll be right back." Calista wiggled free and disappeared into their bedroom, leaving Connor rather bewildered. What in the world was she up to? He distracted himself by watching the movie. But when the scent of vanilla wafted through he found himself in front of the door, his ear pressed to the wood. He could hear Calista moving around the room, and he could hear her heartbeat. It was loud and fast, like she was nervous. Feeling a little concerned, he knocked on the door.

"Calista? Are you ok?"

"Oh! I'm fine, just give me a minute." called Calista.

"Ok…" Connor backed away from the door, and turned away. The door opened behind him and he turned around. His jaw nearly touched the ground in shock. Calista grinned at his reaction.

"You like it?"

"WOW!" Connor yelped, trying very hard not to drool. Calista's grin widened. She'd changed from her normal jeans and top into what Connor was sure Spike had meant when he'd said, 'Naughty panties' when he'd gotten very drunk one day. A black lace nightie that barely covered her, with red lace. Calista put her arms around Connor, kissing him in a teasing way and Connor pressed his hands to her back, feeling the heat of her skin through the flimsy dress.

"Connor, I've been thinking, and… I've realised that I'll never be really calm about making love until after we do it. I want you so much, but I've been scared. Of what I've no idea, well actually that's a lie, I do know, but I don't care anymore. I love you." Calista kissed him again. Connor held her tighter. "So… if you want… I want us to make love tonight."

"I want you so much it's been driving me mad." said Connor, "And this… wow. You've been planning this."

"Yeah. I figured, if I took the initiative, then I'd find it easier. And I do."

"Ok. But… what about, I mean, is it safe?"

Calista sighed and rested her forehead against Connor, smiling. "I think we can both agree that we don't want me to get pregnant again. Not for a long time."

"Two kids is enough for now." agreed Connor with a smile.

"Exactly. That's why, three months ago, I started taking this pill. It helps prevent pregnancy. I don't exactly understand how it works, but…" Calista shrugged, "The other women helped me get it."

"Ok." Connor smiled and kissed her. He knew for sure she was ready for this, otherwise she wouldn't have taken anything like that. Calista held his head in her hands, deepening their kiss and backing into their room. Connor vaguely noted that she'd lit candles as he picked her up and carried her to their bed. As he lay her down, Calista tugged at his t-shirt, pulling it over his head. She kissed along his neck as Connor slid the nightie off her, running his hands down her back. He noted all the scars on her skin, from different incidents. Some were from demons, some were from falls, and a good number were from Daniel.

"Roll over Cal." he murmured. Calista gave him a look of surprise, but did as he said, rolling over onto her front. Her whole back was exposed to him, ivory white skin shining in the faint light. Connor leaned down and kissed the scar just beneath her neck. Then he moved to the one on her right shoulder blade. Calista shivered as he worked his way down her back, planting gentle kisses on her scars. When he reached the base of her spine he moved to her legs and kissed the long scar on her thigh, then gripping her hips, he turned her over. Taking her arms, Connor kissed the scars there, remembering very clearly where they had come from. They'd been made the day he'd found out she was pregnant. Connor wished he could erase that moment, wishing he could redo it, protect his love like he should have.

Calista pulled her arms away from him and rolled them both over, so she was on top of him. Connor smiled up at her as she kissed his lips, gently sucking on them. Then she returned the favour to Connor, kissing every scar that didn't exist. Unlike Calista, Connor didn't scar. Not visibly anyway. But Calista knew where every wound had been, she knew which had hurt the most, which had been gained in battle and which had been inflicted in punishment. As she did this, she pulled off Connor's pants, and when she was done with her kisses, his underwear followed.

Connor sat up and pulled her mouth to his, pushing her back under him while he got rid of the last of her clothing. Then he grabbed the duvet and pulled it over them, shrouding them in warmth as Calista moaned quietly in his mouth.

Their bodies melted together, a perfect fit, and worked in sync. Connor was gentle, he was careful, remembering to pay attention to Calista's reactions, tenderly kissing her neck with each movement, and Calista held him close, kissing his face, both giving as much as they could. At last Calista shuddered and let out a soft moan, clutching onto Connor tight as he groaned and lost the strength in his arms, collapsing on top of her, panting a little. When his heart stopped racing, he rolled over, bringing her with him. Calista rested her head on his shoulder, one arm lying across his chest, her fingers playing with the ends of his hair. Connor tucked her head under his chin, his arm around her, the hand resting on the back of her head.

"Connor?"

"Hmm?"

"…nothing." Connor felt Calista smile against his skin and he smiled to himself.

"I love you Calista. I always will."

"I love you too Connor, now and forever."

Connor looked up at the ceiling, pondering something. Was this the right time? It felt right.

"Calista, can I give you my surprise now?"

"You've got a surprise for me?"

"Yeah. It's something my dad gave me. I've been waiting for the right time to give it to you." Connor, without letting go of Calista, reached out to the drawer by his side of the bed and searched around for a moment before finding what he was looking for.

Connor held the small box in his hand and resettled himself back in the position he'd been in before. Then he looked at Calista, who was smiling at him with a curiosity in her eyes. Connor took in a deep breath.

"Calista, I love you more than anything in the world. You've done so much for me, you've been there for me from the start, you helped keep me sane in Quor-Toth. You've given me the two most beautiful children I could ever have. I never want to lose you."

"You won't. I'm not going anywhere. And you've done so much for me Connor, you kept me safe. Just as I gave you the twins, so you gave them to me." murmured Calista. Connor smiled, kissing her chastely before opening the box.

"Dad told me that these are a sign of devotion to his people, my people. They're called Claddagh rings." Connor took out the smaller of the two. "The hands represent friendship, the crown represents loyalty and the heart-"

"I think I can guess what the heart means." smiled Calista, touching the small silver ring.

"If you wear it with the heart pointing towards you, it means you're with someone, that you're in love. They also mean you're married or as good as." Calista's eyes widened as Connor took her left hand and slid the ring over her ring finger, holding it there for a few moments, staring straight into her eyes. "I want to be with you forever Calista, will you be my wife?"

Calista smiled, tears in her eyes as she nodded, unable to speak. She took out the larger ring and slid it onto Connor's finger. Connor grinned at her and kissed her hard. Calista held his head tight in her hands, and when Connor licked away her tears, he found they tasted sweet.

"I love you so much!" sobbed Calista, resting her head on his chest, holding him close.

"I love you too." Connor kissed the top of her head, inhaling her daffodil scent. "My angel."

"My beloved warrior."

* * *

/dances/ One more chappie, one more chappie!

Night's Darkness


	38. Epilogue

Final Chapter… (_sobs then parties!_)

Thanks for sticking with this rewrite. I'm much happier with this ending.

* * *

**Epilogue**

Solana Catherine Angel smiled to herself as she spotted her parents dancing in her mother's garden. Unlike most nine year olds who found such things gross, she and her twin brother, Liam William Angel, liked to see their parents together.

Their mum Calista was a professional photographer with her business partner Kevin McDonnell –Uncle Kev to the twins- and their dad was a fighting instructor in the Slayer School.

Solana knew she had a weird life, considering she had a demon from Pylea as an Uncle, a vampire for a Grandfather, another vampire for a cousin, who was in love with Aunty Cordy who was a part demon who received visions, the 'Original' Slayer for a Grandmother –who also had a very cool name- and that was just for starters. About the only person in her very large –and mostly unrelated- family that was in any way normal was Aunty Dawn –who was technically their dad's sister and technically not. Every other day there was some demon thing happening, and Solana had to always plan a week in advance having any friends over so her whole family could try and appear normal. Yet she wouldn't trade her life for anything. She was Aunty Willow's assistant with her spells, mainly fetching her ingredients and books.

Liam liked to help out his Grand-Uncle Giles (who had long ago given up trying to be called plain Uncle) and Uncle Wesley do Watcher stuff. Lately, Uncle Wesley and Aunty Fred's five year old son Charlie had started to follow them around too. Liam tolerated this because their dad had told him to.

Connor spun his wife under his arm and Solana liked the way Calista's skirt flared out for a moment. It was rare to see her mother in skirts but she'd been wearing such clothing a lot lately. The last time Solana could remember seeing her wear skirts so much had been when her mother had been an oven –as Cousin Spike had put it- for Uncle Wesley and Aunty Fred, so they could have Charlie. Aunty Fred's oven was broken –again Spike's phrasing- and so Calista had offered to be the oven for them.

Solana didn't really understand why they hadn't used the oven in the kitchen to make Charlie, but as mummy had put it, women had special ovens for babies. Then she went after Spike with a dagger and scolded him for his 'oven-metaphor'. Spike had muttered about crazy hormones, whatever they were, mummy had heard him and proceed to give him a special Cousin Spike time out.

"Hey there honey-muffin! Whatcha doing?" crooned Lorne as he wandered into the lobby of the hotel.

"Watching mummy and daddy. They look really happy today."

"That they do sweet-pea." Lorne smile at the young couple.

"I haven't seen mummy wear skirts so much since she was an oven for Charlie." Solana added. Lorne chuckled,

"That you're right about. Now how about we go see if Andrew left any chocolate pudding in the fridge."

"Oh yeah! Let's go!" Solana dragged the demon away in search of the food.

It was family dinner. They were had at least once a week. It was a tight fit with so many of them. There was Solana, her brother and parents, Granddad Angel and Granny Buffy, Uncle Wes and Aunty Fred and Charlie, Cousin Spike and Aunty Cordy, Uncle Xander and his very pregnant wife Aunty Anya, Aunty Dawn, Grand-Uncle Giles, Uncle Lorne, Aunty Faith and Uncle Robin –they were getting married in three months-, Aunty Willow, and Uncle Gunn and his girlfriend Gwen. They'd had to have a special table made and assembled in the room to fit all twenty-one of them. They used to be twenty-two, but Andrew had just gone to live in Rome and work with Slayers there. Solana missed him.

The meal was as fun as ever, with cheerful chat floating around them and laughter abound. Then, as they were having dessert, Connor stood up and tapped his knife to his glass, gaining the group's attention. He grinned at them,

"I have an announcement for you all, especially Sol and Liam. So I hope you're paying attention."

The group gave him their full attention. Solana and Liam shared a curious look. What was this about?

"Well, um… I really don't know how to say this, so I'm just gonna say it. In a few months there will be a new addition to the Angel clan."

There was silence as they processed this.

"So… mummy's having a baby?"

"That's right Sol. In seven months you and Liam will have a new brother or sister."

Calista grinned and kissed Connor back when he bent down to her. As they pulled away, Calista stood up, saying,

"I'll make it clear right now that this will be my last pregnancy. No way am I doing it a fourth time." This was said with a wide smile.

"Bloody hell!" exclaimed Spike, the first of the adults to break out of their surprise.

"No fair!" moaned Anya, "You're just stealing my spotlight." She folded her arms across her enormous belly.

"Ahn, right now there would be no room for her to steal your spotlight." said Xander, smiling as he rubbed her stomach.

"Don't worry Anya, you shall get all the attention you want. I just want a relaxing pregnancy." laughed Calista.

"You'd better have a girl mummy." said Solana.

"No! Not another girl, I want a brother!" shouted Liam.

"No a girl!"

"A boy!"

"Girl!"

"Boy!"

"Children!" called Connor, smiling, "I'm sure you'll be happy with whatever this baby is."

"It doesn't matter in the slightest whether it's a boy or a girl." said Angel, beaming, and looking a little tearful. Spike noticed and was about to comment, but Cordy stuffed a large forkful of cake into his mouth. The blonde vampire gave his lover the evil eye but she simply flashed him a dazzling smile.

"How long until the baby is done baking mummy?" asked Solana. Calista smiled a little fiercely and threw Spike a look. Spike tried to give her a cheeky grin through his chocolate cake, but failed.

"Seven months Solana. It'll be about seven months."

"That's too long! I want it now!"

"Yeah! Now!" agreed Liam. Connor smiled and shared a look with his wife as he rested his hand on her flat stomach. Calista smiled at him and covered his hand with hers. Her Claddagh ring gleamed in the light and Connor felt the need to be alone with his wife.

"You'll just have to wait you two. Cal, I'd like a word with you please."

Calista grinned, knowing what he meant and she got to her feet. "Connor, I'd like a few words with you myself."

"Will you two please just go." sighed Buffy, noticing how Angel had become very interested in his blood. Connor laughed, scooped Calista into his arms bridal style and carried her out of the dining room. "Solana, Liam, you two can stay up late tonight and watch a movie!"

"Alright!" Liam punched the air.

"No fair! I wanna stay up late too!" whined Charlie.

Lorne chuckled to himself as he sipped from his Sea Breeze. "Life doesn't get any better than this."

**The End **


End file.
